5150 - Julie's Mental Hijack

[Julie5150]

My name is Julie *check - check check me out* (remember that cheer?)
Ok - fk that, I'm not a prissy girl (sorry for those who are - but that's just not me)
I'm a goth reject (lol - if there is such a thing!) I'm a metal head, a rock freak, a - a - I'm a Sahm with an attitudinal problem. I like to wear black - I'm ok with makeup - loooooove some serious boots! - my hubby's in the military (deployed long time, me no like) and we have 4 kids (3 boys, one girl).

Ok - that intro sucked....
Hello, my name is Julie and I am a lazy perfectionist.
Ok - so that's not a REAL term so you'll have to jot that into your dictionary.

**Lazy perfectionist:
I like the IDEA of having things *just so* - but I lack the drive to make things *just so*.
I'll b***h when things aren't *just so* - but I never put in the effort to make them that way! ... In fact, I'll just shove everything into a closet and pretend it's not even there!. LOL - often I say things like, "Yes, I got that done, did that two weeks ago, actually. Don't you remember me telling you..." LOL - and I'm hiding the overdue bill in my wallet so no one will find out!

Much like myself - shove myself into a pair of too-small stretch-jeans and pretend the chubs not there. *shiver* ... But, it is there, so then I drape a large shirt overtop and *poof* like magic - it's gone.
Perfection LOL!

Ok - so, my weakest point when it comes to being/staying/getting in shape isn't the working out - I love to hit the weights, spin my fire poi, sweat and grunt and all that good stuff. My problem is sticking to a diet.
I'll work out for two hours then chow down on some pizza!! MMM MMM Yep.
But that has to stop.

In fact - right now I'm going on day three of avoiding soda!! Hooah! Go me.
And that's HARD to do. Well - not really, all I need to do is not buy it. But that's hard to do!

Anyway - like I said, my husband's deployed - he'll be back sometime in August I hope - and he's working out, losing weight and getting into great shape! And all I've managed is to have a baby while he's gone and not kill the kids!

**So - I have 4 months before he comes home and I'd like to get this list of things done:

laundry
cooking
cleaning.

Hah! no

I'd like to lose 15 lbs and break around 115.
I'd like to lose 3 inches off my waist and magically maintain my bust size (I know, not possible)
I'd like to sculpt up - get some definition. To what extent, I don't know...but I aim to find out. A lot of people look at someone else and say *I want THAT body* .. but I look at anyone who's more fit than me and say *I could never look like that* ... so I don't really have an idea of what I'd even look good as.
a lean, sculpted look? More muscular - but not overly so? Or go for the pro look and just don't stop! (That's my temptation)

I can do it- noooo problem - I just need to stick with a good diet!

**Things that hold me back other than my lazy perfectionism:
I have back and leg problems. 4 kids totaled my nerves on that one side - I walk with a cane often and so for days at a time I can't function the way I'd like.
Which means I can only exercise on my good days - which are never on a schedule.

However - I hear it on great rumor from my Dr. that if I get healthy and stay healthy and well hydrated then I can possibly curtail my pain a few degrees and maybe go without a cane!
So shoot - that's my motivation to stick with a diet. I'm 27, have 4 kids but I am not a granny! I do not want this limp! *limp begone*
(too bad I can't shove that in a closet or hide it under a large shirt!)

**Baby Steps:
This last week was spring break for the older boys (8 and 6) and because I didn't have to get up at 5:00 am every day I chose last week to cut down on my coffee (which, for me, is sugar and cream with a hint of coffee flavoring) and I cut the soda! So far so good - I've only had one soda in all this time, and I'm getting use to my reduced coffee intake as well.
This has led to aid in adjustment of my sleep problem, actually - I've had at least 5 hrs of sleep each night (wow) and I'm actually feeling better than I have in a long while (and all I did was eat a bit more and drink a bit less - whoda thunk it!)

Tomorrow they are back in school. So, in the morning I intend on getting out (just after they go to school, however) and get my outside gym set back up
That entails, though, cleaning out the carport - a pigish disaster area after the lazea nd depression of the winter never went away. I hear a rumor from one of my boys that there's a dead racoon rotting in the corner - this should be interesting!

**Other stuff I have to do and really don't feel like it:
I have to do some serious spring cleaning.
We live in the country and I tell you what - those fking cows next door and their beef butts only attract mice and spiders!
So I have to start deep cleaning every inch of the house - set up our mousetrap system (a massive series of flexi-pipes with hatch-door traps on the ends that we use to coral up mice, rats, snakes, etc, from their hidie holes witout much need for hunting and killing - the petstore pays good money for my catch, lol!) and get the mice out of the attic and frm under the house.
Why am I doing this?
Because last year I had the genious retarded idea of laying out rat poison - it worked great!
However - it didn't kill the mites that lived on the mice..and when the mice died we had mites all over the place!! It took me weeks of endless deepcleaning otget rid of the fkn things!
So - that's why I bait and trap instead of killing.

and I have to register the truck which is a very long time overdue

*edit* Oh - yeah, the fishtank - or, well - the pitiful excuse for an algae farm.
This is the thorn in my side. MY hubby's the fish-tank expert and he loves it with a passion. And I just dont have the heart ot keep after the stupid thing like he does - it looks like crap and now almost all the fish are dead.
I'm thinking of just putting htem into a much smaller thank and reclaiming this entire section of my livingroom (the tank is a mega 40gal one)

dang creatures!

so - anyway - that's my saga for today!

[Julie5150]

Ok ... yes ... here ... the stuff that this journaling is best used for.
By all means throw me your two bits ... this is my planned diet and workout routine - which I'll have to break into it over a period of a few days, but I plan on being on top of it by the end of the weak.

*Diet:
...the diet is where I'm lost - I've been anorexic, bulemic, overweight (after the anorexia and bulemia) pregnant and whatever else - I just don't know how to eat right!

When I think to eat "healthy" I eat:
A bowl of cereal w/ milk for breakfast.

a sandwich - cheese, meat, lettuce, tomatoe - for lunch

crackers for a snack w/ cheese or some fruit. Maybe a mall salad

dinner - well - dinner?? rice, veggie and beef or pasta - usually ... or a mix of.
We're big on red meats - lots of beef.

A late-night bit of yogurt or guacamole (natural, nothing processed - I prefer to make it myself) because of an intestinal disorder I have - if my diet sucks I still always have to eat at least one of these two things. If I don't then I have serious issues to deal with for weeks.

and of course plenty of water throughout the day.

That's it...that's what I think of and that's how I'll eat.



*Routine?:
Now - my old routine simply was too complex for me to keep up with, which is part of the reason why I ended up stopping (remember I have a leg and back problem) so trying to stick with any sort of a strict routine is just impossible.

So - I've looked around for info for people with such issues and I haven't really come across any useful advice.
My only thought is to work my lower when I have a good day. When I'm having a bad day then I focus on my upper.
If I'm fortunate enough to have multiple good days in a row then I'll do my best to alternate and avoid over-working.
I am already quite naturally built on my arms - my legs (in part because of my back and leg problem) is where I need to put the most effort. So, if I have multiple bad days I will simply skip a day for my upper.

Does that sound reasonable?

The exercises I'd do are simple: (and because I'm breaking it up into lower and upper I'll list the area that I would be working according to that "category")
What i have always done for my weights is to gradually decrease the weight amount until I'm lifting an empty bar x failure - whatever it's called?

Lower: (weights)
Situps/crunches
Squats
Deadlifts

Lower: (aerobic?)
Dips (alternating legs)
kick-backs (is this the right name for it? when on hands/knees you kick out your leg x failure ... alternate)
leg-ups (when hanging from pull-up bar you lift both legs simultaneously so they're parallel to the ground...x failure)

Upper: (weights)
Pull-downs (with a lat bar) ... tricep and bicep
Kickbacks (tricep)
Bicep curl
Benchpress
(don't know what this is called...) .. you take your dumbbells - hang them by your side - then lift them straight out to the side so your arms are parallel to the ground.

[Sar-Wah]

Hi Julie....

Your posts are funny... it seems to me that you have already overcome alot to get where you are today so with a little focus and dedication I don't see why you wont succeed here...

Just think.... when Hubby gets home next time... you will be a HOT MUMMA.... (but be careful unless you want baby 5 )

[Buffycat3]

Hi Julie
Welcome here!

I like you already I like your personality from your introduction.

You've come to the right place to get help, tips, encouragement, ect.
Even if you didn't start this journal, you can get a lot of good info for your goals.

I will enjoy following along with you through your journey.
Best of luck to you...I hope your achieve your goals!

Take Care
--Joan

[Simpy]

That's one of the best intros I've ever read. Welcome. You'll get lots of help here with your diet and your workouts.

You're idea of a "healthy" diet doesn't look exactly like my idea. There's a lot of processed foods in there. Take a look in Tara's journal "Twinnett" and see what she eats. She always does a good job journaling her food.

[Julie5150]

Ah - ok, now I'm getting somewhere different with the diet.
I've read through some of other people's blogs - took note of what they didn't eat
And I think I understand, now, what's considered a bad 'processed food'. Honestly, that term - though I
've always known it's actual meaning ... didn't mean much to me because I'd look at the viatamin and other such content of pre-processed foods and go ... ok, that's healthy.
It doesn't work that way - the 'contents' list only lists certain things required by the FDA - the ingredients is where the little s**ts are hiding at that can trash your diet.

Ok - so, that leads me to a delima - I often need something I can just throw in the microwave, heat and eat ... stuff that's portable so I can take it with me room to room while I eat (I think the last time I was able to sit down and eat something was well over 5 years ago)

I can cook healthy - if I realy put in the time and buy the right things.
So I think that maybe I'll go the food saver way. Pre-prep and vacuum seal everything so I can actually just throw a proper portion in the microwave and voila. LOL ... well, something like that.

Ok - so, that's on the list of things to do tomorrow - since I have an appointment out of town I can swing into Linens and Things or where-the-heck-ever and get something like that.
That way I can take one day a week and prepare a lot of different foods, proportion them out and store them without taking up too much space.
Which would give me a week to clean those dishes befoer I have to do it again (lazy perfection -I love me some clean dishes but hate being the one to clean them!)

Hey - soundsl ike fun! I do love to cook - I just hate taking the time every day over and over just for myself (ok, well, kids too .. but they don't like anything they have to eat regardless of what it is.) .. which is why I stopped coooking to begin with.

Today's rundown

*What I didn't get done today:
everything on my list.
I had to get my son from school because he picked a fight and won ... but walked away with a bloody nose.
When I took my daughter outside this morning she romped right through our sappling field - I spent a good part of the morning doing emergency trunk-repair on the poor things.
I had to get a dead and very nasty angelfish out of the fish tank

Ah -but I did get the carport swept! and I disposed of the dead racoon...go me!

Living in the country has turned my stomach into iron - I can handle anything no mater how disgusting - and let me tell you, THAT was DISGUSTING.
LOL - so says the girl who wanted to be a forensic scientist for YEARS

So - right now I'm getting ready to fix supper - we're having grilled chicken wraps filled with couscous and parmesian.
What's this? A family favorite that I haven't cooked in years ... take some boneless chicken breast, beat it down to maybe 1/4" thick ... and then fill it like a tortilla wrap ... secure it closed with some toothpicks...throw it on the grill - medium heat.

Eat it like it is or slice it and top it on a salad.

*edit*
One thing you'll notice with me - I hardly ever prepare anything on my stove or in the oven unless it's a sauce or casserole - most of my cooking is done on our smoker or the grill.
I hate oven-cook meats, blech...if I'm going to do it myself I'd rather fire up them charcoals and have a good time doing it.
My husband got me into it when he bought a small toshi grill when we first got married and all his grilling was disgusting. LOL!
I took over and spent years perfecting the art of grilling shish kabobs, steaks and all sorts of other good stuff.
LOL - the grill is MINE - he keeps his hands OFF ... some serious role reversal 'round here!

[twinnett]

Hi! Glad I found your journal. You crack me up! I think taking small steps is a great way to go! It can be intimidating to try to change EVERYTHING all at once!

[Julie5150]

Hey you! I was just reading your blog - lot's of good stuff, too!!

Nice to meet you

[Julie5150]

Oh crikey - this is soo embarassing!

I just took these pictures so I could actualy see myself - I haven't worked out since November. The only upper-body lifting I've been doing is toting around the baby. (with my right arm, mostly)...i think I don't really need to do a whole lot with my uppper body, actually.
But my legs! AGH! I don't have full-length mirrors in my house and I NEVER photograph them - they look horrible.

So - obviously what I really need to focus on are my legs!
Squats, deadlifts, H&K kickbacks, leg-up...
sit ups and crunches.

Agreed?

(heads up - my legs are the first pic)

[Julie5150]

Hah - my husband's such a jerk for doing this!
He sent me some sexy photos and one is actually ok to post here! Hah!
He has lost almost 30 lbs since he left - and I swear he was not THIS BUILT when he left, either...*droool*

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g2...incropped2.jpg

This leaves me missing him more than I already have been! I demand he come home right freaking now!!
*tap your heels three times ... say "bring his ass home."*

Sexual Deprivation is a b***h.

[Buffycat3]

Hi !

Photos are an excellent way to keep track of your progress...thanks for posting them.
( we all know how hard it is to view ourselves )

With consistency and dedication to your workouts and diet...there is no doubt you will reach your desired goal.
Keep your training and diet tight and focused, and you will succeed....and then watch the changes in your 'future' photos

Have a Great Day!

PS...I pray for your Husbands (nice buffed arm ) safe and quick return!

[Julie5150]

Hehe I'll pass your prayers onto him - he appreciates, I assure you
So do I.

Thanks for jumping in and saying hi - nice to meet the ladies around here.
Coming here is great - there's no one in my family (or military support group on base, for that matter) who are trying to seriously change and improve theirselves. It's been frustrating and damning trying to do it alone - as you can see - I haven't been doing all that well at all!

[twinnett]

This is a great place for support!! Add me to the prayers for your husband!! How are things going today?

[Julie5150]

I sure will, Twinnett - thank you

Good news
I had a Dr's appointment this afternoon, a pre-opp check for my tubal lig, which is set up for next friday!! (yeah..that's what I'm talking about - worry free from here on out!)
I asked him about my exercise and so on and he said that i *should* expect to relieve some of my tightness and pain once i start exercising regularly...further motivation.
AFter he said that it made perfect sense - after years of restrictive use my muscles simply don't handle exersion very well. On top of that I've lost a lot of muscle mass - which means that maybe some of my soreness in my legs and back are more like post-workout soreness rather than being related to my nerve and tissue damage.

Today is pretty good, actually, thank you for asking
I was up off and on all night - But I managed to fit in a 30 minute routine around 9:00 am when the baby went back to sleep - not as early as I want but better than nothing.
I'm quite stiff in my legs and back - so I focused on a lot of stretching and then did H&K kickbacks, leg-ups and crunches.

So this was actually my 2nd go at a routine. The first one was just a 'get into it' type of thing that I did casually late-night after the kids were in bed because these past few days I've woken up with a lot of hip pain, but it goes away after a few hours...so until I start waking up with minimal pain I'll have to workout later.
Something is better than nothing - if it doesn't really benefit me right away I at least hope that stretching and some exercise will help loosen up my joints.
Kind of like an upward spiral.

I'm feeling pretty good, though, considering I had crappy sleep last night. I ate eggs with pepper for breakfast, a salad topped with lemon chicken for lunch, a protein bar for a snack (I went by the store and picked up a few things that I know the kids won't devour!) and for dinner were going to have home-made stir fry - sliced beef fillet tossed with salad greens, bamboo shoots, strawberries and pineapple.

[twinnett]

Diet is looking much improved! Good job!

[claycat]

Hi, followed your link over here. Love your posts! I am a lazy perfectionist too so, I feel your pain. Good luck with all you want to accomplise!

As the Arnold says......I'll be back.

[Julie5150]

Awoot - a few days have gone by.

Thank you, Twinnett - I found that once I set my mind on healthy foods for ingredients that I can use it was easier for me to work up healthy meal plans - so far so good

I just bought a foodsaver, today, and bought bulk on chicken (I have soo much red meat in the freezer it'll last me a year) and some other things like fish, some avacados and fruits - so I'll spend the rest of the day cooking healhy and packaging it to store in the freezer and so on...Solve the delima of quick, healthy foods.

I'm definately feeling more energetic - on less caffeine - and so I can get more done during the day, and I've started sleeping a bit better - around 6 hrs, maybe up once if the baby gets up.

I'm doing my exercise routine as best as possible - and since I've started focusing on my legs and back my pain isn't so bad and I've already gotten back some lost flexibility..so cool!
I haven't had to use my cane at all this week Roll on some biofreeze and I'm good to go.

Claycat - haha - we need to have a lazy perfectionist support group! I'm sure there are others like us out there.

[twinnett]

[claycat]

Just checking to see whats up!

[Julie5150]

Thank you
Part of my attempt at fixing myself up purty is avoiding the net - sitting my tukus in a chair for hours aint good for me glutes! So no more - or, well, minimal.
Hence - a newfound ansence from a lot of places. LOL - I check my email to find people asking where I'm at - MIA from other forums as well.


Well - I ordered "Get in the Best Shape of Your Life" by Lisa Shaffer and I intend to focus most of my routine on Kettlebells.
I hold her in high respect - she looks fabtabulous after having kids - taking her age into account, and this book of hers was produced not too long after her third was born. So it gives me another bit of support and hope - nothing more of a downer than reading a chapter titled "bounce back after baby" written by a slammin hot mamma whose boobs AINT real!
I intentionally decided not to follow Pavlov or other men who've done KB's and tried to gear books towards women because, well, they aren't women - that simple.
They might know most of everything from a technical and scientific view - but identify with me they cannot.

Now - as is rumored from another thread about kettlebells - supposedly they're going retail (I can only wait!!)
So in the meantime I'm using paintcans with padded handles - LOL! Working great, actually.

And I bought "Women's Strength Training Anatomy" which is good for the visual muscle-breakdown of what exercise does what (though completely lacks KB input - I can put two and two together and figure it out) but I swear it's written by a geek for a geek - I need a thesaurus and dictionary to make heads or tails out of the textbook portion.

My diet - still slowly getting into a preservative free, unprocessed world - so far so good.
My foodsaver is great - I've made up some meals and it's just a lot of fun I need reasons to vac and seal! LOL


Anyway - my new routine with my so-so maybe 8lb paintcan kettlebells is something like this:

Swings x13 compound with Alternating Military Press x 13
Deck Squats x 8 (this is endorsed torture, actually) compound with Front Squats x 8
Tactical Lunge (lunge with an underleg KB switch)

H&K kickbacks (hand a knee kickbacks, that is) x fail
5 sec. Crunches x 15
V-ups x Fail

Give or take ... add in other things if I want...nothing absolute routine - time and pain permitting.

Pain wise, I'm ok. Though my left knee is bitching up a storm - I can deal with that. My left hip is just still a bit stiff, nothing tragic, and my back is mildly sore - but no pain there, either.

Ive been cleaning a lot, too - I have my tubal lig this Friday so I"m trying to ok the house so I can be out of commission for a two days or so - haha! Funny that just a few days off can trash this place.

[twinnett]

Glad to see you're still around! Sounds like you've been making a lot of changes! I've heard good things about the kettlebells.

I'm so jealous that you have a foodsaver! I've always wanted one! lol

[Julie5150]

And - ugh!
Surgery was yesterday and i feel like such poo!!
I should be back on my feet in a week, hopefully.

until my post-opp I'm not even allowed to pick up the baby which is impossible!
So I'll just have to pick him up only when it's absolutely necessary.

[Julie5150]

OI ve!

What a crazy week! But I'm back at home - I had to stay with my parents for the week which nearly drove me to insanity - and today was my first day back to my routine - keeping it very light, I don't want to injure myself just yet

[Simpy]

Glad you're feeling okay. We've missed ya.

[Julie5150]

Ok - here's the skinny

har har

I haven't been around much - but I've been busier than ever!

Reason one - My husband's coming home early! *jumps up and down*. Much to our surprise they're sending him back here to have surgery done on his shoulder ... now - whether he'll stay here for the rest of his deployment I don't know ... but it would be nice if he doesn't go back! But I'm not getting my hopes up.
Ok, so it's not all good - he did get hurt to come home, but, it's not a serious injury or even an injury due to combat - he tore two tendons around his rotator cuff...so he's doped up on some pain-meds until he gets it fixed.

Reason two - when I came home after a week of being gone with the AC off the house had turned into a cooker - and stunk to high heaven!
Beetles had moved in through a crack under the door - it was just nasty *puke*
Yes - I worked my magic and voila! .. hah - wish it was that simple! No, I've been slaving away day in and night out...scrubbing out cabinets, washing every dish, pan and fork, sealing in cracks around the windows to help keep the bugs out, deep cleaning the carpets and beds, washing all the clothes again (moths invaded the closets) and on the list can go!
The only things left to do before I leave in afew days to **hopefully** get my hubby and drag him home is for me to deep-clean the truck, do some more laundry and clean the carport.

12 hr roadtrip of hell here I come! I would never do this otherwise if my husband wasn't going to be at the end of the road

[Julie5150]

Well ... time does go by, doesn't it?
Honesty abides ...
*Did I stick to my routine? No
*Did I lose any weight? Of course not ... just the opposite, in fact ... topping off at 145 a few weeks ago ... when I realize I gained weight I started working out again. I've lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks, pretty dang good, I'd say. And if I can keep it up THIS time then maybe I can actually meet my goal of 115 around January.
*Did I morph into a better person than ever before? Holy crap, you kidding?
*We did continue to eat healthy, though - I just started eating way too much. (Figures)


In fact, my life has taken a turn for the worse and in efforts to climb out I've started (yay) exersizing again ... sort of an 'exercise the demons' type approach.

Maybe it'll work *shrug* If not then I'll be at least physically fit when they book me and lock me up.


So - my husband returned early with his shoulder injury, had surgery just over 2 months ago and is still recovering.
Our two oldest boys are having serious problems in school which have caused serious problems at home...More than the average, I should say ... bunch of ****, lots of trouble.
My back and nerve pain issue is worse than ever - and I think that it's because i stopped working out and gained weight.
The house is still under construction - due to my husband's recovery time, we're having to put off working on it for an infinitive amount of time.

So ... that's that.
I'm back, sort of, with a busier life than before I don't have time to forum hop, but I'll be stepping in time to time to keep myself focused.