Cyber Sex Gone Wrong

[acd]

Wow strong Collin but so worth it. I couldn't stop laughing. Must Read!


sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I?m sorry. I?m just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I?m in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don?t f*cking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This sh*t is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a f*cking break
bloodninja: I?m serious.
sweet17: I don?t get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I?m wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It?s kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are f*cking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren?t one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I?m not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: f*ck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren?t you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don?t want to send you the picture cause I?m not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren?t
sweet17: IM NOT A F*CKING COP YOU D*CKSH*T!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What?s your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I?m looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I?ve lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I?m not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn?t you.
bloodninja: I?ll be damned if it ain?t!
sweet17: You don?t look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy?.
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go f*ck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won?t get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn?t have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You?ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn?t hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can?t believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can?t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: F*CK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You?d break both of his legs.
sweet17: You?re a f*cking wanker!
sweet17: I?ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don?t even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I?m sorry.
sweet17: No you aren?t
bloodninja: You?re right. I?m not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I?m done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I?m sorry.
sweet17: I?m putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I?ll eat your kitty
sweet17: You?ll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I?d eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn?t get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I?d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I?m not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don?t know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I?m afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn?t that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won?t do it if you don?t want me to
sweet17: I didn?t say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp? you say ?HARRRR!!!?
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can?t be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It?s my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you?ll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth ****.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ?going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I **** harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ?still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your *sshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your *ss.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your *ss.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly *ss
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your *ss.
sweet17: YOURE A F*CKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a f*cking candy apple?
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: F*CK YOU D*CKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin?
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ?going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

[HELIX35]

Repost. Still funny though

[lordsess24]

Lol Harrrr

[OTG]

Repost!!

[jordanmacdonald]

Here are some more
http://www.adamchance.com/funny.htm

[Tiger Driver]

His others are better.

[acd]

Originally Posted by kaylein

His others are better.

Repost? Sorry

Anyways, I'm going to read more than. I found this one hilarious.

[JayKid]

HARRRRRRRRRRR!!

Wow, that had me loling hard, so good.

[acd]

LOL Snitsky just posted some more in the Squared cricle thread in the WWE sec. That dude is off his rocket. LOL

[Ketchup:]

lmao i loved it!


HARRRRRRRRRRRR!

[King_of_Kings]

that **** is older than hamsterdance

[spikefood]

As old as the internet.

[acd]

Originally Posted by King_of_Kings

that **** is older than hamsterdance

Yeah but there are people who actually have a life outside the net and don't know.

[Richie_Awesome]

****ing awesome man.

[beckham23]

lmfao

[Step_Up]

this has been around since the birth of teh intarwebs

[Spuddy]

i showed my 11th grade english class this, and i graduated 2 years ago

def a classic though

[Deathstroke]

Yeah, old but still good. I haven't read it (any of them) in awhile so I lol'd!

[Reiv]

First time i've read them and it was hilarious.

He must have inspired more people to do the same.

[thebeast110]

bloodninja is older than our founding fathers