pickup lines

[midian]

found this one internet thought i might share it

the best pickup lines no more stuggeling for us guys :d


(Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!

Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words...

you better come with me.

Which one of the Spice girls are you?

My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.

For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...

Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?

It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, STUPID STUPID STUPID!

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!

Wow! Are those real?

You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

You are the reason men fall in love.

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

[midian]

Are we related? Do you want to be?

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

You remind me of a girl I used to date.

Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?

You remind me of a girl I used to date.

Are my undies showing? Answer: "No." You: "Would you like them to?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).

If belly buttons were a status symbol, then baby you would be God.

I am not a queen but I'll give you something royal.

I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you."

You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.

Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?

Hi, do you speak English? (yes.) Oh, me too.

Do you know that the Edmonton Oilers haven't won the Stanley Cup for a while now?

Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.

Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?

Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?

Bond. James Bond.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

I have only three months to live...

I didn't know that angels could fly so low!

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

What's your sign?

[midian]

Come back to my place so I can give you a lovely parting gift.

Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love.

The next item up for bid is in my pants.

How'd you like a years supply of Turtle Wax.

I've made thousands of women scream and jump up and down.

Please have dinner with me. I'm a very lonely man.
Maybe it'll be easier for you to guess the price of the waterbed if we test it out first.

Don't worry--I've been neutered.

Come on down.

You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.

Good candy isn`t made... it`s just born.

Do you believe in love at first site, or do I have to walk by again?

Would you like to dance? [she says "no"] No, you must have misunderstood me, I SAID, you look fat in those pants!

Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

If I said you have a great body would you hold it against me?

What do you say we go back to my place and play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the heck out of me!

Want to play lion? (She asks, "What's that?") That's where you get down on all fours and growl like a lion while I feed you the meat!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Walk up to a girl who is standing and say, "You look tired, let me clear you off a place to sit" then wipe your face.

Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long!

It's always good for you to see me again.

My wife/husband just doesn't understand me.

I know where there is a good party. They've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.

(speak this silently with mouth) I want a fig newton.

Do you want cheesy lines or do you just want to do it? .

So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.

Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

Say, did we go to different schools together?

Would you like to dance or should I go f*** myself again?

Do you like clocks? (if yes) put two hands and a face on this. (pointing down)

Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

Hi. Are you legal?

Hi. You'll do.

I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?

[midian]

this is the last part the rest i post after i ate

I think I could fall madly in bed with you..

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.

You smell wet. Let's Party.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...

Hey..somebody farted. Let's get out of here..

Have you ever played leap frog naked??.

I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

My face is leaving in 10 minutes. Be on it.

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

Can I see your tan lines?.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Lie down. I think I love you.

Excuse me, are you ready to go home yet?

I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? Are you disappointed?

Are you religious? Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.

Your face or mine?

I'm single!

Would you like to see my boa constrictor?

Would you like to come and party in my toolshed?

As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!

I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.

[midian]

Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.

Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.

Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!

I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.

I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.

Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.

Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.

Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"

Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?

What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper.

What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.

Stop, Drop, and Roll baby 'cause you're on fire!

Walk up to a guy/girl hold up a $100 (or more if you're desperate) dollar bill and rip it in half in front of his/her face write your phone number on half of it and hand it to them. Then say, "how about you call me tomorrow and we'll figure out a way to spend this money?"

When I first saw you I almost had to call an ambulance to take me away because the sight of you stopped my heart!

Do you have a sunburn baby, or are you always this hot?

[omariok2]

wow you look kinda exotic, do you have any --insert your own country of origin here--- No? would you like to?

Are your parents retarded? (no! why?!) coz you seem like a very special girl