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Old 12-30-2006, 04:34 AM   #1
Necropolitica
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Har Har Har(possible repost?)

Friend just sent this to me, so i thought i shall share it with you.

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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Old 12-30-2006, 04:36 AM   #2
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Old 12-30-2006, 04:36 AM   #3
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Old 12-30-2006, 04:36 AM   #4
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It takes a mere 5 minutes.
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Old 12-30-2006, 04:37 AM   #5
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lol
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Old 12-30-2006, 04:38 AM   #6
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repost, but still funny!
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Old 12-30-2006, 12:04 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Necropolitica View Post
It takes a mere 5 minutes.
That's 4 minutes and 59 seconds too much.
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Old 12-30-2006, 12:06 PM   #8
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She got sonned.
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Old 12-30-2006, 12:07 PM   #9
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holy mother of ****, colin powell. over.
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