EmpressCat's transformation - a whole life change

[empresscat]

Originally Posted by kimsquit

I like a happy ending (no massage innuendo intended)

glad he's back with you!

Thank you, sweetie!

[ChocoChick]

Originally Posted by empresscat

I got my baby back.

I just realized I never posted here about what happened with my doggie. He started mutilating the paw that needed to be amputated, and it became infected - and I didn't have the money to do it. (A minimum of $1200)... The vet said the limb had to be amputated right away, or he had to be put down. This was about two months ago.

I contacted every rescue organization in the area, and found one that could take him and give him the operation - but I had to give him up.


Today, my sister and a friend went and adopted the dog I had to give up - to give him back to me. He's adjusted just fine to being a tripod, and is happy to be home.

I'll have new pics of him soon!

That's great, EC! We adopted (off the street) a cat who had had one leg amputated and he didn't seem to have any problems getting around.

I am hpapy your baby is back - something to celebrate.

[empresscat]

Did a nice walk at the lake. Weather's cooling off a bit and it was a good day to exercise outdoors. About 3 miles.

[empresscat]

Depressed.
Eating disorders suck.
I know more about exercise, nutrition, and the body than most of my clients, even the athletes, but I can't seem to get my own house in order.

I've gained 15 pounds in three months. Can't seem to shake myself out of this binge cycle this time, and I know it's because I have emotional issues that I haven't been able to deal with. (Problems with my father & brother - and with the guy I was dating...) I had hoped that getting enough rest would be the key to getting a handle on this, but it's not enough.

Don't think I'll be able to conquer this on my own, but am not comfortable with the religious tone of Overeaters Anonymous (and other 12-step groups), especially here, where people tend to not understand the concept of non-denominational.

[dartol]

Hang in there EC! You are smart, you know what is happening, and you know what you need to be doing to fix it. I am sure you will figure out how to make that happen. It is easy to get into emotional eating, I find myself doing that too. Exercise is helpful for that too, I know you have been having a tough time with that lately but maybe whatever you can get in would help.

Darren

[Decosta]

Just read your whole thread, you've certainly worked hard to get to where you are and congrats on getting your dog back.

[empresscat]

Originally Posted by dartol

Hang in there EC! You are smart, you know what is happening, and you know what you need to be doing to fix it. I am sure you will figure out how to make that happen. It is easy to get into emotional eating, I find myself doing that too. Exercise is helpful for that too, I know you have been having a tough time with that lately but maybe whatever you can get in would help.

Darren

Getting motivated is tough when you're in a funk - but I'm feeling more optimistic today. Comparing how I felt two months ago to how I feel now, and realizing it's much, much better. I really am adapting, and doing OK.

And I need to start just going to the gym, even if all I do is a little walking on the treadmill and some time in the sauna. It's getting it into my routine that's hard right now. Once I'm there, I enjoy it.

Originally Posted by Decosta

Just read your whole thread, you've certainly worked hard to get to where you are and congrats on getting your dog back.

Thank you, Decosta.
Nice to have someone remind me...
I know I can do this. I have done it. I simply need to get back into it, and stick with it. And I need to be better at admitting when I need help, and be comfortable with asking for it...

[ChocoChick]

Hey EC, sorry to hear you are down. I know for me it is hard to get into a habit, but once I'm there, it is also pretty hard to get out of it. SO I think your idea about going to the gym regularly, even if just to walk on the Tm, is a good one.

Is OA your only option? Have you gone to meetup.com? This is a site where you can either join or start a social networking club. It's pretty cool - check it out.

[empresscat]

I hadn't thought of using meetup for something like that... I'll consider it, thank you.

[ScubaDave]

Originally Posted by empresscat

Getting motivated is tough when you're in a funk - but I'm feeling more optimistic today.

Empress - glad you're feeling more optimistic today. You hit the nail on the head though about getting motivated. As you well know, precisely the medicine that will cure that issue is what we kick and scream against sometimes - what a strange conundrum no?

And then when you throw in the impact of stress on cortisol production, you've really got a bit of a hurdle. There's only one way to knock it out - just go. As you said, even if it's only for a few minutes on the treadmill. Good luck getting back into the groove - you'll get there.

Dave

[MacGyverDel]

Thought I'd be bold and pop into your journal to let you know how beautiful I think your latest avi pic is. And hope things are moving along in a positive manner for you.

Have a good day.

[claycat]

Just dropped in to see how you are doing.

Great new avi!

Glad you are feeling more optimistic, hope it continues to improve!

[empresscat]

Just taking some time to focus on getting my head right. I'm actually feeling really good about myself right now. The depression has cleared but I still have some anger. (The change in hair color helped me shake off the last of the blues.)

There has been some major "isht" to deal with over the guy I was dating who turned out to be a bigger disaster than I ever suspected. And some stuff with my brother and my dad...

I re-gained a LOT of weight during a few months of depression, 25 pounds in total, but have stabilized and am starting to lose again. I had even started drinking. Not a lot, but when you go from one or two beers or glasses of wine a month to three or four, twice a week, that's a big increase. (I'm back to mostly using my wine and beer for cooking.)

Also, I've started getting regular massages - and am beginning to work out some of the issues my body has from a lifetime of neglect and a history (now long past but still remembered in my muscles) of abuse. I knew I was a mess, but have now had four other therapists confirm that I am one of the worst they've ever worked on. There is literally not a single area of my body that does not have major knots, pain, strains or stiffness.

It's no wonder that when I exercise I get pain after a few weeks.

I'm only working out once or twice a week right now, walking or using the elliptical, but remaining active in general. I am finally past the point where massage is wearing me out, and I am actually starting to understand how my body mechanics work through doing massage. Like the fact that my abs are weak and so my glutes and hams try to make up for them and get overused. When I tighten my abs while bending over a client, I feel my shoulders drop and my spine straighten.

I guess I'm sort of in remedial camp for my body right now, and that's OK.

[justtryn]

Originally Posted by empresscat

Just taking some time to focus on getting my head right. I'm actually feeling really good about myself right now. The depression has cleared but I still have some anger. (The change in hair color helped me shake off the last of the blues.)

There has been some major "isht" to deal with over the guy I was dating who turned out to be a bigger disaster than I ever suspected. And some stuff with my brother and my dad...

I re-gained a LOT of weight during a few months of depression, 25 pounds in total, but have stabilized and am starting to lose again. I had even started drinking. Not a lot, but when you go from one or two beers or glasses of wine a month to three or four, twice a week, that's a big increase. (I'm back to mostly using my wine and beer for cooking.)

Also, I've started getting regular massages - and am beginning to work out some of the issues my body has from a lifetime of neglect and a history (now long past but still remembered in my muscles) of abuse. I knew I was a mess, but have now had four other therapists confirm that I am one of the worst they've ever worked on. There is literally not a single area of my body that does not have major knots, pain, strains or stiffness.

It's no wonder that when I exercise I get pain after a few weeks.

I'm only working out once or twice a week right now, walking or using the elliptical, but remaining active in general. I am finally past the point where massage is wearing me out, and I am actually starting to understand how my body mechanics work through doing massage. Like the fact that my abs are weak and so my glutes and hams try to make up for them and get overused. When I tighten my abs while bending over a client, I feel my shoulders drop and my spine straighten.

I guess I'm sort of in remedial camp for my body right now, and that's OK.

Hi there EC. Sorry to hear about your depression... the binging, and it's residual effects. I've struggled with that depression stuff myself - far too long, really. Stay active, do the things that YOU enjoy doing for YOU. I'm struggling, myself, right now... but if I stay focused, I think I'll be ok. You will too.

By the way - the new hair color and the avi look beautiful. Great smile, too!

[empresscat]

Thank you sweetie.

[empresscat]

Gah! Did I mention that I'm a mess?
I had piriformis spasms that were strong enough to knock me on my ass, and now I'm in pain.

More massage, more stretching, more *gentle* exercise.


I just have to keep telling myself that just because the road is slow, doesn't mean it's not going anywhere.




And have I mentioned lately how much I love my job?

[ChocoChick]

hi EC. Nice to see you back here.

[Mark1T]

Hi Empress - my Holiday card to you:

[jspirate]

Happy Holidays EC!