Having a tough time bro's. It's a bit long but those who have taken the time to read, thank you.
When I was younger kids picked on me a lot. Wasn't always the most popular kid. Never was the type of kid who hung out at the mall, went to dances, parties, etc. I always did well in school. The bullying in grammar school and into high school was pretty bad. I remember just thinking god, I hope college isn't like this. Never been to a high school prom. Because of the bullying, I almost didn't go to college. I was 5'8" 220 lbs. of pure lard. At that point in my life, I blamed everything/everyone else for my problems. I haphazardly applied to a couple colleges. Didn't really care. Then one day, right there in the mail, there was a letter. It was a letter saying I had been accepted with a scholarship for academic excellence. So on I went to college. It was the first time I had been around girls in 5 years (went to an all male private HS). There i began to find myself. I went from being 5'10" 240 lbs. of fat, down to being 5'10" 170 lbs. of just "normal". Somehow I started become somewhat "cool".
I bought a sportbike. Loved riding it. Two weeks after my 18th birthday, I suffered my first setback. While riding through an intersection, I was struck by an elderly woman driving a massive cadillac who ran the red light. She hit me so hard my shoes flew off. My bike looked like someone set a bomb off under it. I suffered 2 broken ribs, road rash, and worst of all...a torn labrum in my shoulder. As a result, I had to undergo 2 surgeries to repair my left shoulder. Still, I pushed on. One of the most vivid memories was lying on my parents couch looking outside on a beautiful summer day thinking "Thank God I'm a live". Took time, but I rehabbed it. PT lasted for about 6 months. Pain was bad at times but I pushed through.
During college I dated my first GF. She treated me pretty bad. Still not respecting myself, I let it continue. Finally, one day, another girl came along. She seemed to appreciate me for all that I was as a person. I thought "Wow, this is better than what I have now". Ship...I jumped it. It was all good for about a week. Then she dumped me. So now I had dumped my nasty/mean ex...and the new girl dumped me. So there I was, all alone, left to pick up the pieces. This is where i turned to bodybuilding. It started in the basement gym of my apartment complex. Rather than sit and mope, I decided "Let me get in shape and show her what she's missing" I lived in the ghetto so some pretty rough characters went there. One day I ventured down and met two large gentlemen named Ryan & Quincy. Two monstrous Jamaican guys. They took me under their wing. They pushed the f**k out of me. Never let me quit. I remember one day Quincy said to me "Man you're going to be a bodybuilder one day, I can see it now".
My goal was to be 200 lbs. 200 lbs. came and went, then 210, 220, 230, 240, and finally 250. 250 lbs. in the offseason. I had gone from being 5'10" 170 lbs. up to 250 lbs. in the offseason.
Bodybuilding is where I found my drive. I finally competed as a lightheavy. 198 lbs. It was tough because to be competitive at 5'10" I needed to be in the heavyweight class. I pushed...HARD. I was consuming massive amounts of food. 12 eggs per day, over 1 lb of meat, etc. Trying to get into the 210 onstage range. Life wasn't bad. I had focus. Started dating lots of REALLY hot women. Models, athletes, etc. All I wanted to do was win a high level NPC show as a heavyweight.
But with more drive, came more set backs.
In 2008 while shoulder pressing 120's, my left shoulder had a sharp pain and went numb. Went back to the doctor. He suspected I slightly re-tore my labrum. 4 more months of rehab. Determined to not be set back, I pushed on
Later in 2008 I suffered a partial tear of a tendon in my elbow. More rehab.
Then in 2009, while deadlifting 500 lbs. for reps, I blew out my L5/S1. Pain was so bad and nerve damage so severe...I had problems with bladder control. Alone, depressed, in pain...I vowed I'd never give up. Never did. 3 months later I was back in the gym. Working out light.
Around 2010 I began to ask myself "What do I want to do with my life?" Working as a Financial Advisor wasn't for me. I wanted to feel like I was doing something with my life. At age 26 I made the choice to pursue a career in law enforcement. This came with a whole new set of tasks. Now it wasn't about being a monster. I had to be an athlete. 1.5 mile runs, push ups, sit ups, pull ups, 300m runs, etc. Bodybuilding just wouldn't work. Everyone looked at me and thought "No way this guy can do it". It was hard at first. 26 years old running for the first time in my life. I remember those long dark nights...running. Thinking how the hell I am going to do this. Slowly I began to get into the best shape of my life.
I was ready. I started testing. Slowly I made my way through tests. Life is always ready to throw you a curve...
One day while doing pull ups in the gym, i felt and heard a snap in my right shoulder (my "good shoulder"). Excruciating pain went down the back of my shoulder. I rushed to the doctor. Doctor said "You've torn your rotator cuff". So back to more PT. I pushed and trained. Determined not quit. Slowly I made my way back. Tested and tested I did. Right along side 300 applicants for 3 spots. I was determined. Everyone told me it was bound to happen for me. With that hope in mind, I pushed on. This is my passion. Something I could focus on and feel like I am doing some good for the world. Finally, things started coming together. I placed favorably on one departments list, then I tested well in others.
Then 5 weeks ago. I suffered another set back. While testing for another department, I suffered a pain inside of my hip on my left side. Right after the 1.5 mile, something didn't feel right. Adrenaline flowing, i pushed on. Sit ups, push ups, and reach test. Afterwards, the pain became bad. I couldn't so much as jog without a pulling sensation in my lower abs/hip/groin. Just finished my 4 weeks of PT. Doctor still can't figure out what the pain is from. Heading to a hernia specialist in another week and a half. Right now it doesn't look good. If it's a sports hernia i will 100% need surgery.
So here I am sitting once again with an old friend...pain. He reminds me that I'm alive. Reminds me that I don't quit and that nothing in life comes without sacrifice.
I guess I wrote this story as an inspiration to you guys and a reminder of what I have pushed through.