Getting in shape works against you?

Shadow101 · 11-09-2009, 04:16 PM

Hi.

I have a funny situation I'd like some advice on.

Some background - I'm 42 but look a good few years younger. I live in a relatively small town in the UK which has a couple of clubs where there are women around my own age, but also some aged in their 20's. I do ok - mostly meeting women in their 30's with the occasional younger or older lady.

I've been in good shape for a while, but I'm slowly managing to cut fat levels and I thought that when I got in better shape I'd do better with the ladies but the opposite seems to be happening. The women my own age aren't showing as much interest but younger ones are showing more. You might think that sounds great, but the younger girls aren't looking for anything serious, and tend to do a runner when they find out my true age (I'm looking for a LTR so I'm upfront about my age so as to be honest) so that doesn't really help me.

What I think is happening is that my "target group" are actually being intimidated by me being in good shape, think I'm out their league, and so don't flirt as much! The exact opposite from what I wanted!

Has anyone else had this?

du3ce · 11-09-2009, 04:30 PM

women your age range are mostly fat depressed soccer moms with bad teeth.

I3odyI3uilder · 11-09-2009, 04:33 PM

I think its the whole fact that they think your out of their league so looks like your the one who needs to be making first moves...

Shadow101 · 11-09-2009, 04:49 PM

I got talking to this group of 4 women one night. The youngest (about 30) and slimmest was interested in me and I sat next to her. Her friend is about my age, in not too bad shape, and is eyeing up this guy who's bald, about 50, and has a belly like he's 7 months pregnant. I said to her "WTF? Why are you looking at him?". She says "I know I'd never stand a chance with a guy like you but I'd have a shot with him"

It was a real eye-opener. Most women my age, as you say, are in poor shape. Following from that is low self-esteem.

For the younger women to at least be initially interested in me, I must be ok. Why can't I believe that enough to make approaches? I just depend on eye-contact just now and never do cold approaches.

Tiffany Wantsmore · 11-09-2009, 05:20 PM

Believe me, there are women your age who are drawn the muscular male and wouldn't be intimidated. Maybe you should try and meet women at the gym instead, where they might be more inclined to appreciate guys like you.