Envy and Encouragement

hope2bme · 11-06-2009, 04:33 PM

This is just a rant. I am feeling the need to vent for a moment.
I have lost 42 lbs and gone from a size 18 to a 12 in the last eleven months. I obviously still have a long way to go but I am proud of my progress so far. (I started lifting 3 months ago)

When I started losing weight all the Ladies at the office where full of support and encouragement. We were all plus size and most of them are perpetually on Weight Watchers. Now that I am getting smaller and it shows I get negative comments, rolled eyes, looked up and down or back handed compliments.
I wore a new outfit today in a size 12 (slacks and a pretty sweater). My boss complimented my outfit and I made the mistake of confiding in a whisper that I was really happy to buy it this weekend because it is a size 12. She immediately went on the attack saying that it isn't really a 12, that I should know that sizes have changed and she is sure it is more like a 16 etc.
We all know women's sizes are not consistent, and sizes have changed over the years. However, they have not changed dramatically in the last 12 weeks that I know of. And I still have the 18's, 16's and 14's at home to compare it too.
I understand that they are unhappy because they are still the same weight and I am scrupulously careful to never, ever brag or flaunt my losses. I still weigh 173 lbs, I don't have anything to brag about yet. However it hurts my feelings and makes me a little angry that they can be that petty. I am not forcing them to eat fast food everyday or indulge in bag after bag of Halloween candy. I am the one dragging my saggy butt out of bed every morning to the gym at 5 a.m. when I would rather be sleeping!
Anybody else have to deal with this kind of attitude? I don't even know if I am mad or just bummed. At least my hubby and kids are stoked with my progress!

Echo814 · 11-06-2009, 04:51 PM

First off congrats on the weight loss and the dedication to keep it up! In my experience jealousy and insecurity can make total asses out of people. It's hard to, but try to ignore it and take it as you are doing something right if they react that way.I am in a similar situation, I only express the desire to continue losing to a handful of people, otherwise I get the rolled eyes and you are skinny enough bs. When I weighed 173 lbs I was a 12/14 and that was three years ago so I think it's safe to say that the clothing sizes haven't changed

, not saying we are the same but just throwing a little info out there.

Continued success with your fitness goals and don't let anyone get you down, they aren't worth it. Personal experience talking lol.

aznprincess · 11-06-2009, 04:55 PM

ok, first of all phuck those b*tches.

what you're going through pisses me off so much i can't even begin to say. i'm so sorry that they are trying to hold you back <-- and this is exactly what they are trying to do. they see that you're making progress and it throws all the excuses they have about why they are still not seeing results right out of the window.

i am stoked that you are seeing results and whatever you do, don't let their negative peer pressure win you over to going back to your old habits of eating and not working out. you can change your body as you have already started to do. congratulations btw!

i totally know what you're going through in the regard to changing your eating habits b/c this is so hard to do for all of us and it's easy to get jealous when we see someone else accomplish what we can't when they started in the same shape.

you're right that you're not the one who is sabotaging their success and this very fact is what gets them. you have to face the same temptations that they do and yet you are able to control yourself! you're success is basically a huge red arrow above their heads and they feel convicted.

you may find that you aren't as included in the group anymore and you might just have to find some other friends. if you try to stay in this group, they are going to require you to get back to your size 18 and stay there.

these ladies are what you would call "haters". you're not going to find any emotional support or bonding among them. unfortunately, they are your weight loss enemies and you MUST guard your emotional self from them or they will bring you down.

again congratulations on your progress and i wish you the best of luck finding more like minded friends who are also finding success in their body transformations! xoxo

Finner · 11-06-2009, 06:22 PM

GAHHH! Why is it that people just can't keep their petty shiz to themselves? You know something, friend, YOU are kicking butt, staying motivated - even when it gets hard, getting your ever-improving ass out of bed in the morning to work out, you are so happy with your progress, DO NOT LET THAT FRIGGIN CEE YOU ENN TEE take that away from you. That was just a wretched thing to say.

And you know something? It doesn't matter what the size tag in your clothes says. It's an outfit that is SMALLER than the one you were wearing months before, so EFF HER.

I have a wicked case of PMS right now, so I apologize in advance for the foul language and nearly violent reaction to this, but it annoys the living **** out of me when people say things like this to someone who is working hard.

When that woman has a perfect life, is happy and healthy, THEN you are allowed to let what she thinks concern you. Until then, just accept the fact that some people are petty and that other people's successes can drive them MAD with insecurity and jealousy. And not to play armchair psych here, but her **** comment probably came from a place of anger. ANGER AT HERSELF for not chasing after health and fitness like you are. If you lose weight/get healthier/get smaller, then she will have NONE of her lame excuses to fall back on.

Don't let her crap remark mar the joy of having a new outfit that FITS you. You wear your new self and your new clothes with pride and let her sit and stew in her old clothes and putrid stew of jealousy. Just let it roll off your back like water off of a duck! Don't be upset, mad or even give it the slightest thought past tonight.

You are winning in a battle against yourself. Continue to rock it and take heart in knowing that the more unhappy people make comments like that, the better you look. Ha.

xoxo

Nightbird573 · 11-06-2009, 06:29 PM

I can't stand it when people do that! My sister has been doing that to me lately. It seems like the further I come fitness-wise the more negative comments I get from her and a few others. For instance, I had a headache the other day b/c I hadn't gotten any sleep..Well, I posted something about having a headache on Facebook and she comments, "Well, I know you've been eating a more strict diet lately, maybe that's why you don't feel good." Grrrr...I just told her that my healthy diet makes me feel great...I never get sick! She also makes snide comments on any pictures I put up of my progress.
I'm just doing my best to ignore it. If someone wants to stuff their face full of pork fritters all day, that's their deal..I'm not gonna say anything about it..So, don't say anything about my healthy eating habits! Ya know??

Kellylou · 11-06-2009, 06:51 PM

Ugh -- I hate that people do that!! I completely can empathize with your situation. I lost 100 pounds and was so excited and PROUD of the hard work I put in to do it ... especially after spending my life struggling with food and never working out -- to be eating clean and lifting weights and seeing how strong I could really become was amazing!! But people I considered friends would say the most horrible things -- the worst being when someone actually accused me of being anorexic! I was like seriously, would you like to see the crazy amount of food I eat each day?!?

People can be just plain mean. You know the hard work you are putting in. You know the daily accomplishments that you have to be proud of. Don't let other people's jealous comments drag you down!

I don't know why some women can't find a way to be happy for each other -- we should be encouraging one another and challenging each other to reach new goals! Keep smiling and knowing that YOU are doing amazing things for yourself and your family by living a healthy life, and no one can take that away from you!

YOU GO GIRL!!!

Walk2liv · 11-07-2009, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nightbird573

I can't stand it when people do that! My sister has been doing that to me lately. It seems like the further I come fitness-wise the more negative comments I get from her and a few others. For instance, I had a headache the other day b/c I hadn't gotten any sleep..Well, I posted something about having a headache on Facebook and she comments, "Well, I know you've been eating a more strict diet lately, maybe that's why you don't feel good." Grrrr...I just told her that my healthy diet makes me feel great...I never get sick! She also makes snide comments on any pictures I put up of my progress.
I'm just doing my best to ignore it. If someone wants to stuff their face full of pork fritters all day, that's their deal..I'm not gonna say anything about it..So, don't say anything about my healthy eating habits! Ya know??

rofl, do we have the same sister? Jeez, mine is the exact same way. She makes snide remarks about me working out, and tries to entice me to eat badly. Sad people.

Nightbird573 · 11-07-2009, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walk2liv

rofl, do we have the same sister? Jeez, mine is the exact same way. She makes snide remarks about me working out, and tries to entice me to eat badly. Sad people.

Maybe we do! I have 5 sisters so maybe one of them is actually your's! lol

bocco · 11-09-2009, 10:06 AM

Congratulations on your success. Just keep doing what makes you feel good.

hope2bme · 11-09-2009, 01:05 PM

LMSBO! (laughing my saggy buns off!) Thanks, all of you. I feel so much better after reading your comments. You are all right and some of your comments were so spot on that it was almost spooky! You Ladies were just what I needed to smile and feel better and you know what? The girls at the office better "play nice" or I just might invite them all over for a 4th of July pool party next year when I am wearing my itsy bitsy teeny bikini!!! Haha

Thanks for the understanding and support!

P.S. I think I will bake them a cake this week...I know how much they love it! (pay back is a b*&tch).

RebeccaG · 11-09-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hope2bme

I don't have anything to brag about yet.

You absolutely have something to brag about!!

Congratulations for losing what you have and good on you for having the motivation and dedication to keep going.

Screw those betches. They're just jealous!

norinicole · 11-09-2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hope2bme

P.S. I think I will bake them a cake this week...I know how much they love it! (pay back is a b*&tch).

BAHAHAHA! That's awesome!

Then when they ask you if you're having any, say "no thanks, I like how I keep losing weight so I'll choose to eat some chicken instead"

aznprincess · 11-09-2009, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hope2bme

P.S. I think I will bake them a cake this week...I know how much they love it! (pay back is a b*&tch).

HAHAHAH!!! it sure is. you know they won't want to eat it but will end up falling on it like a pack of vultures! lol

Echo814 · 11-09-2009, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hope2bme

P.S. I think I will bake them a cake this week...I know how much they love it! (pay back is a b*&tch).

Muahahahahahah...... I like that a lot. Make it a once a month thing, I bet they don't leave enough to take home!

yelserp2 · 11-09-2009, 03:57 PM

FWIW:

Around 3 years ago a coworker had weight loss surgery, lost a lot of weight and looked great. She was my "at least she's fatter than me" friend, and I felt abandoned and jealous. I said things that were less than encouraging and bordered on catty. I have always been ashamed of this.

Now I am getting some of that attitude (call it karma). I try to remember that it stems from the other persons issues, and just move on.

Sorry you are experiencing this.

Sue

dawndm · 11-09-2009, 04:58 PM

I got the same at my office. A few people have asked if I've been losing weight to which I usually reply 'I don't think so" with smile on side of face LOL!. Yesterday I got the same so I answered with 'Thats strange, a few people have said that to me'. The reply...'well don't lose anymore...you're getting too thin!' I"M STILL ABOUT 26% BODY FAT!!!!!!!!

I trying my hardest to put on muscle and lose fat PEOPLE!

I think we are all so used to looking at overweight people that when someone actually goes out of their way to lose fat they are seen as too thin.....

I applaud all of you on this site for your fantastic achievements.