Jealousy - Guys & Girls

[AdrianaW]

Are you an overly jealous partner? Do you show your jealousy easily?

I can get jealous but instead of confronting my husband I usually get pissed off with him, which isn't fair of course!

Him on the other hand - he NEVER shows it and it bugs me. A while ago we went to our fav club and an ex of mine happened to be there. I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't. My husband was watching out of the corner of his eye but did NOTHING. He didn't even come up to me to interfere or anything.

I want to tell him that sometimes its nice to feel that he is jealous, or that he will tell other guys to back off. I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

[pats55583]

[StreetWise]

I currently have to watch my ex (i was with for years and was in love with) put up photos of herself at college with all her new friends. I only just split up with her before summer.



I honestly dont give a ****. I know if I walked back into her life tomorrow I could have her on all fours.

The power of the penis brah.







Oh yeah, bitches aint ****. Disregard females, acquire currency.

[ImFromDuval]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Are you an overly jealous partner? Do you show your jealousy easily?

I can get jealous but instead of confronting my husband I usually get pissed off with him, which isn't fair of course!

Him on the other hand - he NEVER shows it and it bugs me. A while ago we went to our fav club and an ex of mine happened to be there. I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't. My husband was watching out of the corner of his eye but did NOTHING. He didn't even come up to me to interfere or anything.

I want to tell him that sometimes its nice to feel that he is jealous, or that he will tell other guys to back off. I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

Some people are just not the jealous the type at all. I am one of those people sorta. IMO your a grown ass woman why did you let this go on for 5 mins with your ex? # 1, your ass should have put him in his place the very second he put his hand on your arm and was stroking it. You cant expect your husband to be around 100% of the time, grow up and defend yourself. If my GF cant defend herself then I will be damn if I am going to jump in every guys face and start **** with them. Now if they escalated the situation and I saw this then I would do something. I would have personally left your ass in the middle of the dance floor and went home.

So lets recap what i am saying. QUIT TRYING TO LOOK LIKE A VICTIM STICK UP FOR YOURSELF

[AdrianaW]

Originally Posted by ImFromDuval

Some people are just not the jealous the type at all. I am one of those people sorta. IMO your a grown ass woman why did you let this go on for 5 mins with your ex? # 1, your ass should have put him in his place the very second he put his hand on your arm and was stroking it. You cant expect your husband to be around 100% of the time, grow up and defend yourself. If my GF cant defend herself then I will be damn if I am going to jump in every guys face and start **** with them. Now if they escalated the situation and I saw this then I would do something. I would have personally left your ass in the middle of the dance floor and went home.

So lets recap what i am saying. QUIT TRYING TO LOOK LIKE A VICTIM STICK UP FOR YOURSELF

I didn't feel like a victim at all and there was no need for me to stick up for myself. I wasn't flirting with him either, I was just listening to him talk and trying to hear what he was saying (yeah that sounds like bull but its the truth) What Im saying is that most guys would've felt threatened or jealous if some other guy was pawing there girlfriend - though I admit in this situation it wasn't "groping" or anything serious like that. Just wanted a male perspective. Thanks

[AdrianaW]

Does my post lead you to believe that I was encouraging the guy?

[ImFromDuval]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I didn't feel like a victim at all and there was no need for me to stick up for myself. I wasn't flirting with him either, I was just listening to him talk and trying to hear what he was saying (yeah that sounds like bull but its the truth) What Im saying is that most guys would've felt threatened or jealous if some other guy was pawing there girlfriend - though I admit in this situation it wasn't "groping" or anything serious like that. Just wanted a male perspective. Thanks

Why were you talking to your ex? Has your husband ever talked to your ex? What was he saying that was so important? Next time something like this happens try this "Hey, I am not trying to be rude or anything but my husband is right over there and I do not want to be disrespectful towards him so I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop rubbing my arm" I guarantee your husband was not happy with the situation but more so not happy with you he may have not come out and said it but in the back of his mind he is thinking it. Why do you ask? Because its your ex, if it was some gay friend different story but its your ex who you had a relationship with and was intimate with. SO yes there was a need for you to tell your EX to back off alittle, he can talk without grabbing your arm and touching your cheek that is a no touching zone and you said it yourself that you let it go on for 5 mins why did you let it go on for past 1min is beyond me. Or maybe you just did it and let it go on to test your husband because you know he is not the jealous type. Tell the truth

[giles337]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Does my post lead you to believe that I was encouraging the guy?

the point is you weren't discouraging him, and you should have been.

[Cell-Tech Daddy]

[AdrianaW]

Originally Posted by ImFromDuval

Why were you talking to your ex? Has your husband ever talked to your ex? What was he saying that was so important? Next time something like this happens try this "Hey, I am not trying to be rude or anything but my husband is right over there and I do not want to be disrespectful towards him so I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop rubbing my arm" I guarantee your husband was not happy with the situation but more so not happy with you he may have not come out and said it but in the back of his mind he is thinking it. Why do you ask? Because its your ex, if it was some gay friend different story but its your ex who you had a relationship with and was intimate with. SO yes there was a need for you to tell your EX to back off alittle, he can talk without grabbing your arm and touching your cheek that is a no touching zone and you said it yourself that you let it go on for 5 mins why did you let it go on for past 1min is beyond me. Or maybe you just did it and let it go on to test your husband because you know he is not the jealous type. Tell the truth

You make some very valid points. My ex came up to me and no my husband hasn't ever spoken to him. And he was saying nothing of value - basically some inane drunken babble and that it was "good to see me again". I think I was partly testing him. You're right, and next time I will politely tell him to back off. I guess at the time I didn't want to seem rude. And yeah I probably wanted to see his reaction too. Which was the same as before. Meh. I don't know WHY I want him to show he is jealous. I love him, he loves me, that's what counts.

Thanks for the comments.

[CelticBhoy]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Are you an overly jealous partner? Do you show your jealousy easily?

I use to be an overly jealous partner. It was due to a variety of reasons: immaturity, lack of confidence, her inability to deal with confrontations and her inability to say "no."

That's just skipping the surface.

Now? Pppft. Absolutely not.

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I can get jealous but instead of confronting my husband I usually get pissed off with him, which isn't fair of course!

No, it's not fair. It's utterly retarded. When you don't communicate all that anger you have is going to build and build and build before it finally explodes in a intense, trivial, and totally preventable argument.

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Him on the other hand - he NEVER shows it and it bugs me. A while ago we went to our fav club and an ex of mine happened to be there. I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't. My husband was watching out of the corner of his eye but did NOTHING. He didn't even come up to me to interfere or anything.

Maybe he was hoping YOU would deal with the situation at hand. If I found out that my girlfriend's drunken ex came up to her and started stroking her arm and cheek, I would see how she handled the situation. If it's taken her more than a few seconds to react, I will go over and *ahem* introduce myself. But yes, let her handle it first. If she's sitting there for 5 minutes and letting him do that...Oh, she'll be in deep ****.

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I want to tell him that sometimes its nice to feel that he is jealous, or that he will tell other guys to back off. I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

Why do you want him to tell other guys to back off? I think it's totally situational. But 9/10 it's her decision. I remember going to a bar a looooong time ago with my girl (early stages of our relationship) and some drunk dude sloshed his way near her and was incoherently hitting on her. I clearly moved in near to intercept. She gave me a quick glance that said, I GOT THIS! Lo and behold she handled the situation accordingly and all was well.

It's always situational. If things are nominal, I'll wait for her signal. You'll know if she needs help or not. There are other times when you can sense when something is wrong and move in abruptly.

There are ways of telling your man, you know. Why not say, "You know, if a woman approached you, I'd be a little jealous. A little jealousy isn't a bad thing, you know...*insert sexual gesture* But I have to let them know that you're mine and to back off."

Viola. You have no established your concern, used the reverse-roles as an example, and hope that he's capable of processing such information.

*Sighs* Women

[AdrianaW]

Originally Posted by CelticBhoy

I use to be an overly jealous partner. It was due to a variety of reasons: immaturity, lack of confidence, her inability to deal with confrontations and her inability to say "no."

That's just skipping the surface.

Now? Pppft. Absolutely not.



No, it's not fair. It's utterly retarded. When you don't communicate all that anger you have is going to build and build and build before it finally explodes in a intense, trivial, and totally preventable argument.



Maybe he was hoping YOU would deal with the situation at hand. If I found out that my girlfriend's drunken ex came up to her and started stroking her arm and cheek, I would see how she handled the situation. If it's taken her more than a few seconds to react, I will go over and *ahem* introduce myself. But yes, let her handle it first. If she's sitting there for 5 minutes and letting him do that...Oh, she'll be in deep ****.


Why do you want him to tell other guys to back off? I think it's totally situational. But 9/10 it's her decision. I remember going to a bar a looooong time ago with my girl (early stages of our relationship) and some drunk dude sloshed his way near her and was incoherently hitting on her. I clearly moved in near to intercept. She gave me a quick glance that said, I GOT THIS! Lo and behold she handled the situation accordingly and all was well.

It's always situational. If things are nominal, I'll wait for her signal. You'll know if she needs help or not. There are other times when you can sense when something is wrong and move in abruptly.

There are ways of telling your man, you know. Why not say, "You know, if a woman approached you, I'd be a little jealous. A little jealousy isn't a bad thing, you know...*insert sexual gesture* But I have to let them know that you're mine and to back off."

Viola. You have no established your concern, used the reverse-roles as an example, and hope that he's capable of processing such information.

*Sighs* Women

Sorry I'm new to this, dunno how to "multi quote" even though there's a goddamn button to use that feature!! :P

Look I have told guys to step off before, I don't need him to be around to do it for me. This is just the most recent and obvious example I could think of to explain how he never, ever reacts when a guy is hitting on me. BLAH. Gotta deal with it.

I have said that to him many times and he insists that he would react if the situation arose *shrugs* Thought the situation I described was one of them? that's why I wanted to know how you guys personally felt about it. So now I get that if YOUR girlfriend did what I did, you'd be pissed off and I understand its up to me to stop a situation like that from continuing. When I asked him the next day about what happened he said he was jealous. That's all he said. Nothing about him being mad at me or whatever.

[AdrianaW]

Thanks for the comments guys - going home now!! See ya

[CelticBhoy]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Sorry I'm new to this, dunno how to "multi quote" even though there's a goddamn button to use that feature!! :P

Click on all the posts that you want to quote from using the "multi quote" button. Once you're to the last one, simply use the "quote" button and viola! You'll have them all quoted

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Look I have told guys to step off before, I don't need him to be around to do it for me. This is just the most recent and obvious example I could think of to explain how he never, ever reacts when a guy is hitting on me. BLAH. Gotta deal with it.

Believe me, I'm not going to vehemently defend your man because I feel you should have handled it better. Because HE should have stepped up especially if it was an ex (did he know it was an ex?). Once the touching, rubbing occurs, both of you would be broken. NO TOUCHING.

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I have said that to him many times and he insists that he would react if the situation arose *shrugs* Thought the situation I described was one of them?

Yeah, it was one of them. You're right. Maybe he's thinking if you're arguing with some dude and clearly trying to get away and he's grabbing you to stay (like in some cheesy film) that THAT'S his queue to move in and intercept. Because if you're smiling and talking to some dude, that's giving off another vibe.

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

that's why I wanted to know how you guys personally felt about it. So now I get that if YOUR girlfriend did what I did, you'd be pissed off and I understand its up to me to stop a situation like that from continuing. When I asked him the next day about what happened he said he was jealous. That's all he said. Nothing about him being mad at me or whatever.

It's weird. I am very cool when it comes to jealousy (or lack thereof?) for my girl. There's a lot of **** that I have to deal with (profession and all). With that being said, I think a small hint of jealousy is a good thing because if shows that you care for your partner and making your presence known.

Showing absolutely none? It's interesting. Maybe he 100% fully trusts you because of the ring and that you are his wife.

This is really bothering you. So let him know how you would like him to react. Everything is situational though. Do I - in my opinion - believe he should have reacted. Yes. Especially after 5 minutes of that ****. Do I feel that you should have stopped it ASAP and not test him and use bull**** games? Yes.

He should have - at the very least - came over and said hello. You introduce him, he introduces to drunken ex, now it's his move. If he starts being disrespectful, he'll feel the wrath. If he's all cool and chill, and all like "Didn't know you were taken!" She's feeling the wrath.

Talk to him. We (gf and I) have briefly discussed jealousy once. We both agree that a little jealousy can be a good thing. But there is a damn fine line.

[Achillis]

Originally Posted by ImFromDuval

Some people are just not the jealous the type at all. I am one of those people sorta. IMO your a grown ass woman why did you let this go on for 5 mins with your ex? # 1, your ass should have put him in his place the very second he put his hand on your arm and was stroking it. You cant expect your husband to be around 100% of the time, grow up and defend yourself. If my GF cant defend herself then I will be damn if I am going to jump in every guys face and start **** with them. Now if they escalated the situation and I saw this then I would do something. I would have personally left your ass in the middle of the dance floor and went home.

So lets recap what i am saying. QUIT TRYING TO LOOK LIKE A VICTIM STICK UP FOR YOURSELF

thats a good one brah, i totally agree with you

[Al_Pal]

nah im 2 lazy to get jealous.

[ICQ666]

I don't know what is more important:

The fact that your HUSBAND didn't do anything...

or

The fact that you are talking to Ex's while your husband is infront of you, your EX is drunk, and you are letting him touch you.


I am sure your husband didn't like that behavior, but HE DOESN'T NEED TO prove his MANLINESS... You had to prove that you had respect. I would never want my wife to be "talking" with an EX, much less in my fawking face. I am sure 100% of the guys here wouldn't want another dude grabbing wife's chick, and if it's an EX, that would not end good!!!!

THANK GOD YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT A PSYCHO, OTHERWISE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN PUNCHING, AND BEATING YOUR EX UNCONSCIOULSY.... maybe that's what you wanted hehehe. Next time don't take your husband if you are going to let guys grab you. That is plain disrespectful.

[illninofan21]

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

nah im 2 lazy to get jealous.

This.

[USAviator]

He was probably waiting for you to kiss your ex so he could dump you.


Sounds harsh, but might be true.

[Monarchy]

Originally Posted by USAviator

He was probably waiting for you to kiss your ex so he could dump you.


Sounds harsh, but might be true.

Hahaha, this. Or he's a pussy... Or he's alpha.

[Ecnewyx]

Alpha husband is alpha.

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I wasn't flirting with him either, I was just listening to him talk and trying to hear what he was saying (yeah that sounds like bull but its the truth)

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't.

Terrible wife is terrible.

[latetext]

troll

[WizardGlick]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW
Are you an overly jealous partner? Do you show your jealousy easily?

I can get jealous but instead of confronting my husband I usually get pissed off with him, which isn't fair of course!

Him on the other hand - he NEVER shows it and it bugs me. A while ago we went to our fav club and an ex of mine happened to be there. I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't. My husband was watching out of the corner of his eye but did NOTHING. He didn't even come up to me to interfere or anything.

I want to tell him that sometimes its nice to feel that he is jealous, or that he will tell other guys to back off. I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

You're married, why the hell should he need to defend that? And why the hell do you need that? Is he showing he loves you in other ways? And allowing some ex to basically fondle you for 5 minutes makes you an attention whore (if not a slut). Actually, this whole trip you're on makes you an attention whore. What's next? You going to sleep with someone just to get a reaction from him?
What you seriously need to do is grow up and realize you're not a teenager anymore who needs constant attention from guys.


You officially have my vote for worst wife ever. Have a good day.

[Fire_mesiah]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Are you an overly jealous partner? Do you show your jealousy easily?

I can get jealous but instead of confronting my husband I usually get pissed off with him, which isn't fair of course!

Him on the other hand - he NEVER shows it and it bugs me. A while ago we went to our fav club and an ex of mine happened to be there. I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't. My husband was watching out of the corner of his eye but did NOTHING. He didn't even come up to me to interfere or anything.

I want to tell him that sometimes its nice to feel that he is jealous, or that he will tell other guys to back off. I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

Well He Was Obviously Taking A Back Seat On The Situation To See How You Handled The Situation, I Guess He Would Of Stepped In If He Tried To Kiss You.

[Roasted]

I'm like this also. I am very trusting and in those situations I WATCH what the girl does. If the guy is forcing himself on her physically he is as good as DEAD cause I will step in and DESTROY him if she looses as much as a single hair but if he's just flirting than if she has any respect for me she will handle the situation. If she is trying to handle the situation but seems to be having trouble (dude is pushy) I will step in also but if she flirts along than that's like spitting in my face, very disrespectful.

[aosch]

Jealousy shows weakness and that another person has control over you by manipulating your emotions to get you to act a certain way. This is why I don't get jealous and don't like people who try to make me jealous. In a sense, they are trying to use you.

[ispy]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

that's what you should be asking yourself - would you give your husband a reason to stop trusting you? if he is confident that you won't cheat on him, then he has no reason to be jealous.

[killermike]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Are you an overly jealous partner? Do you show your jealousy easily?

I can get jealous but instead of confronting my husband I usually get pissed off with him, which isn't fair of course!

Him on the other hand - he NEVER shows it and it bugs me. A while ago we went to our fav club and an ex of mine happened to be there. I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't. My husband was watching out of the corner of his eye but did NOTHING. He didn't even come up to me to interfere or anything.

I want to tell him that sometimes its nice to feel that he is jealous, or that he will tell other guys to back off. I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

you are a waste. why didn't you tell your ex boy friends to back off instead of trying to get your husband to do something? you're probably a cheater, aren't you?

[Thy_Kingdom]

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

Are you an overly jealous partner? Do you show your jealousy easily?

I can get jealous but instead of confronting my husband I usually get pissed off with him, which isn't fair of course!
Him on the other hand - he NEVER shows it and it bugs me. A while ago we went to our fav club and an ex of mine happened to be there. I was standing by the dance floor and my husband was a few feet away from me dancing. My ex came up to me to talk and he started stroking my arm and putting his hand on my cheek. This went on for about 5 minutes. He was really drunk and at one stage I thought he would kiss me but luckily (or unluckily) he didn't. My husband was watching out of the corner of his eye but did NOTHING. He didn't even come up to me to interfere or anything.

I want to tell him that sometimes its nice to feel that he is jealous, or that he will tell other guys to back off. I always ask him what he would do if some guy kissed me or touched me inappropriately and his answer is always "**** him up" But I know he wont!

This is why little girls should not be in relationships or get married at such a young age. Despite your age, psychologically you are still a child. Your husband was furious, but he didn't want to show it because that would've been beneath him (to show you the attention of two males competing for you, one of which is your husband).

Originally Posted by AdrianaW

I didn't feel like a victim at all and there was no need for me to stick up for myself. I wasn't flirting with him either, I was just listening to him talk and trying to hear what he was saying (yeah that sounds like bull but its the truth) What Im saying is that most guys would've felt threatened or jealous if some other guy was pawing there girlfriend - though I admit in this situation it wasn't "groping" or anything serious like that. Just wanted a male perspective. Thanks

You didn't want a male perspective, you wanted us to say it's okay that you were doing this. It's not okay, you're a child in the body of a woman, and your marriage will not last because of your insecurities and need to feel valid from other men around you - not just your husband. The truth is you're useless, and I'm sure he is probably cheating on you since you do not talk to him like an adult. You play games and let your ex touch you sexually, for that you are scum.

Of course you're an immature woman who thinks of no one but herself so you will disregard what any of us say and keep playing games with your husband. I feel sorry for your husband, he deserves better. Then again maybe you're not worth his time and he doesn't feel the need to show jealousy (or attention) to scum like you, if so - disregard this post.

Cheers,

T.K.

[MiBoda]

^^exactly what i was thinking. immature women. he is cheating probably cheating on you, and if not then i hope he will.