What the hell does this mean!

[Italiantank26]

So what the f*ck does it mean when your gf tells you that she loves you, your her best friend, and you mean the world to her, but that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment cause she can't handle it. I'm like wtf, why can't you handle it, cause you can't handle the stress not being single and surrounded by college dudes? She said no this isn't the reason, and failed to comply what it was. Anyone wanna give me the male interpretation of what she really ment

[Al_Pal]

its absolutely cause she is surrounded by other options. options that are to much for her to ignore at such a young age.

frankly i agree with her. I wouldnt want to be tied down at your age. you shouldnt either.

"21 and over let another man mold her"

u learned the hard way.

[Jedan01]

Originally Posted by Italiantank26

So what the f*ck does it mean when your gf tells you that she loves you, your her best friend, and you mean the world to her, but that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment cause she can't handle it. I'm like wtf, why can't you handle it, cause you can't handle the stress not being single and surrounded by college dudes? She said no this isn't the reason, and failed to comply what it was. Anyone wanna give me the male interpretation of what she really ment

Are you doing a distance relationship or something? Girls crave attention and if you're not there she probably wants it from someone else

[Italiantank26]

[QUOTE=Al_Pal;406489371]its absolutely cause she is surrounded by other options. options that are to much for her to ignore at such a young age.

frankly i agree with her. I wouldnt want to be tied down at your age. you shouldnt either.

"21 and over let another man mold her"

u learned the hard way.[/QUOTEI
I told her, she could go f*ck who ever she wanted, just not to tlk to me ever again, but she keeps insisting thats not the reason. I explicitly told this girl not to contact me, I delete her fb all that other sh*t, two days later she txt me says she misses me, doesn't want it to b like this, I said fine lets c what happens, then we had another conversation tonight, which I told her I can't be a friend, and not to txt me till she is ready. Def not begging for this girl, she doesn't deserve me, but I'm trying to see where she is getting off saying this sh*t

Originally Posted by Jedan01

Are you doing a distance relationship or something? Girls crave attention and if you're not there she probably wants it from someone else

Na, not a long distance relationship, her college is only 40 min away from mine, I have a car, and drive all the time so to me 40 min is nuthin

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

She want's other guy's as sad as it is, if you want her back, i'd say your best bet is to act as if you don't care and just agree with her and try moving on.

[Italiantank26]

Originally Posted by BIGDUBBDEISEL

She want's other guy's as sad as it is, if you want her back, i'd say your best bet is to act as if you don't care and just agree with her and try moving on.

lol, if you remember from my previous thread, breaking down and sh*t over this girl, I'm completely over it. Thing is I really do not care anymore at all, sure I love the girl, but I'm honestly f*cking over her, I don't think she gets this, I keep telling her do not tlk to me ever again if we are broken up and we can't be friends. She replies to this by saying what I mentioned in the first post.

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

Originally Posted by Italiantank26

lol, if you remember from my previous thread, breaking down and sh*t over this girl, I'm completely over it. Thing is I really do not care anymore at all, sure I love the girl, but I'm honestly f*cking over her, I don't think she gets this, I keep telling her do not tlk to me ever again if we are broken up and we can't be friends. She replies to this by saying what I mentioned in the first post.

So what happend then, did you ever see her that sunday, and i take it you didin't break it off with her or what?

[onebigc]

Cliffs:
-it means she says one thing and does another... in this case... another guy.

You are taking what she says literally. She doesn't. She tells you you are perfect for her (what she says) but she doesn't want a relationship (what she does). What she does is the only thing that matters.

Women are programmed to maintain their chastity, honesty, purity etc...by any means necessary... including lying... even lying to themselves. She will never tell you the real reason because the real reason would violate all that she is trying to protect about herself. She might not even admit the real reason herself.

Kind of like when people say they want a legacy... they don't want a legacy... they just don't want to die and a legacy is the only way to keep themselves alive in the future. In b4 misc psychologists prove this wrong and miss the point.

A 'real' reason she says these things is that she does 'love' you but mostly that she wants to keep you as a backup and maybe string you along so you think about only her and don't get involved with other women.

[DocHol1day]

if you were over her you wouldnt be answerin calls, replying to texts, and you DEFINATELY wouldnt be makin a thread about her....... jus sayin.

anyway, just cut off contact with her dude. she wwants to expierence being young and in college. i.e. lots of sleeping around. who can blame her? i dont. but she is scared because you give her a sense of stability, so thats why she keeps calling and texting. theres no reason to hate her for wanting to live the college life, but theres no reason you should be her rock either.

cut contact, or at the very least be totally cold and distant if your not strong enough to cut contact all together. your 18. your marriage wouldve failed anyway

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

Originally Posted by onebigc

Cliffs:
-it means she says one thing and does another... in this case... another guy.

You are taking what she says literally. She doesn't. She tells you you are perfect for her (what she says) but she doesn't want a relationship (what she does). What she does is the only thing that matters.

Women are programmed to maintain their chastity, honesty, purity etc...by any means necessary... including lying... even lying to themselves. She will never tell you the real reason because the real reason would violate all that she is trying to protect about herself. She might not even admit the real reason herself.

Kind of like when people say they want a legacy... they don't want a legacy... they just don't want to die and a legacy is the only way to keep themselves alive in the future. In b4 misc psychologists prove this wrong and miss the point.

A 'real' reason she says these things is that she does 'love' you but mostly that she wants to keep you as a backup and maybe string you along so you think about only her and don't get involved with other women.

Hmm so bassically your saying he's like a rebound guy to her? Also in my situation my gf broke up with me after we faught all the time for some guy that spoils her and gives into all her bs, and never fight's with her, i never did this. But anyhow she tried stringing me along aswell, but i woudn't be considered the rebound guy since it wasn't a great relashionship?

[Italiantank26]

Originally Posted by BIGDUBBDEISEL

So what happend then, did you ever see her that sunday, and i take it you didin't break it off with her or what?

I ended up seeing her that sunday, and that's when we decided on an open relationship, we ended up going back to my house and chillen n sh*t, fast fowarding to now, when she said she would give up the open relationship and go back to normal, this is when sh*t started happening, and now I'm trying to get rid of her.

Originally Posted by onebigc

Cliffs:
-it means she says one thing and does another... in this case... another guy.

You are taking what she says literally. She doesn't. She tells you you are perfect for her (what she says) but she doesn't want a relationship (what she does). What she does is the only thing that matters.

Women are programmed to maintain their chastity, honesty, purity etc...by any means necessary... including lying... even lying to themselves. She will never tell you the real reason because the real reason would violate all that she is trying to protect about herself. She might not even admit the real reason herself.

Kind of like when people say they want a legacy... they don't want a legacy... they just don't want to die and a legacy is the only way to keep themselves alive in the future. In b4 misc psychologists prove this wrong and miss the point.

A 'real' reason she says these things is that she does 'love' you but mostly that she wants to keep you as a backup and maybe string you along so you think about only her and don't get involved with other women.

This I completely agree with, and I think this is just exactly reason with why she is doing this

Originally Posted by DocHol1day

if you were over her you wouldnt be answerin calls, replying to texts, and you DEFINATELY wouldnt be makin a thread about her....... jus sayin.

anyway, just cut off contact with her dude. she wwants to expierence being young and in college. i.e. lots of sleeping around. who can blame her? i dont. but she is scared because you give her a sense of stability, so thats why she keeps calling and texting. theres no reason to hate her for wanting to live the college life, but theres no reason you should be her rock either.

cut contact, or at the very least be totally cold and distant if your not strong enough to cut contact all together. your 18. your marriage wouldve failed anyway

lol true on the marriage part, yes, I am taking all the advice of cutting contact, I deleted FB deleted her phone #, all that sh*t and even told her not to contact me until she is serious and has her sh*t together, only problem is she txt me two days later and I'm like wtf. I can't be that big of a dick and completely ignore her, so thats when I cave. Cause I obviously still want sh*t to work, but no longer am I forcing it, and I know its unrealistic

[DocHol1day]

what you dont understand is that your being TOO EASY. every time she calls or texts you cave. if you really want to make it work(stupid imo but whatever), then you need to ignore her for a minimum of 2-3 weeks. make her ****ing earn it.

but my advice for serious is to find a nice latin chick to bone tonight. thats what i'm gonna do

[LovesMuscles]

Sounds like bad experiences with other guys. Ya rly. It's not always "omganotherdudeomg".

There are females out there that just can't deal with having a relationship at a certain time, same way some guys can't. Duh.

[porcupinetree]

It has nothing to do with her not being able to handle a relationship.

Here it is:

She doesn't want a relationship with you anymore and she wishes you would set her free.

So, best thing to do is set her free. Cut her loose. You don't need this or the drama that is sure to ensue. Take it from someone who has been there a bunch of times.

[porcupinetree]

In my early 20's, I had a bunch of gf's who pulled this crap
"You are so great, but I need to figure myself out"
"I'm just not ready for a relationship right now"
"I need some time to make sure this is what I want"

I could go on and on. I would always try to "help" them and be there for them. It was stupid, but being in my early 20's and having little experience with this.
Nothing helped. It took a while but I would realize that they didn't want me around anymore, but they didn't want to be mean, or whatever.

Finally, my response to this kind of crap was "Ok, do what you need to do. Call me if you decide you want to try with me again, but until then, leave me out of it"

You know what? NOT ONE OF THESE GIRLS EVER CALLED ME BACK. Think about it. It was just their way of breaking up with me in a nice way.

I'll tell you something else:

For the past 10 years, most of the girls I date really get to liking me, a lot. I guess having a good job and money and a nice home and car and muscular bod ( none of which I had in my early 20's) really makes a difference.
Many of them want to get married. None of the girls who were really into me pulled any of this "I need space" or "I don't want a relationship" crap. NONE OF THEM

Learn from that

[Italiantank26]

Originally Posted by LovesMuscles

Sounds like bad experiences with other guys. Ya rly. It's not always "omganotherdudeomg".

There are females out there that just can't deal with having a relationship at a certain time, same way some guys can't. Duh.

This could be it also, I've been going out with this girl for almost two years, we have had pretty deep talks in the past about her relationship with other BFs, she told me about a guy she like that f*cked her over, I mean she was only like 16, and was a while b4 she met me, so IDK, don't think this could b it. Def does have a troulbe past though, took me a while to get over it

Originally Posted by porcupinetree

It has nothing to do with her not being able to handle a relationship.

Here it is:

She doesn't want a relationship with you anymore and she wishes you would set her free.

So, best thing to do is set her free. Cut her loose. You don't need this or the drama that is sure to ensue. Take it from someone who has been there a bunch of times.

I told her if she doesn't want to have a relationship I didn't give a sh*t just don't tlk to me again, but then she says she doesn't wanna do that cause she still might wanna go back out, and I tell her straight up, wow thats the most direct way i've heard a female tell someone don't go I need u as a safety blanket, but she insists that this isn't the reason, and that she just can't handle a relationship right now, ya right

[onebigc]

Originally Posted by BIGDUBBDEISEL

Hmm so basically your saying he's like a rebound guy to her?

but i wouldn't be considered the rebound guy since it wasn't a great relashionship?

For simplicity... No. A rebound is someone easily available and short term that fills a void while you collect yourself to achieve another goal. The suggestions I made about him being a 'backup' or 'to keep him from moving on' are very speculative and assume she has malicious intent towards him... the hard evidence we have is that she wants to avoid responsibility for the break and to cover up the real reasons.

No. In your case she realized she didn't want you anymore and is trying someone else... this is part of the dating process and is normal.

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

Originally Posted by onebigc

No. A rebound is someone easily available and short term that fills a void while you collect yourself to achieve another goal. In your case she realized she didn't want you anymore and is trying someone else... this is part of the dating process and is normal.

Well if she didin't want me, why would she play games for 5 weeks afterward's? Why not just say yeah i'm done, instead of saying she want's me then saying she dousn't ect..

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

Originally Posted by onebigc

No. A rebound is someone easily available and short term that fills a void while you collect yourself to achieve another goal. In your case she realized she didn't want you anymore and is trying someone else... this is part of the dating process and is normal.

And yeah this guy she met at a car wash 3 day's before breaking up with me, guess he gave her his number and wanted to hangout right away, and at that time i would threaten to break up with her and make her cry all the time ect, then this guy spends 300 dollar's on her the first week of knowing her [serious] i mean come on, girl's can tell when someone is a bit desperate... Oh and another thing she would text/im me stricly bragging about him, trying to make me jealous.

[onebigc]

Originally Posted by BIGDUBBDEISEL

Well if she didin't want me, why would she play games for 5 weeks afterward's? Why not just say yeah i'm done, instead of saying she want's me then saying she dousn't ect..

Originally Posted by BIGDUBBDEISEL

And yeah this guy she met at a car wash 3 day's before breaking up with me,...

I edited my post while you made these.

Ok well you are adding more information now which changes my initial analysis and requires another thread.

/hijack

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

Originally Posted by onebigc

I edited my post while you made these.

Ok well you are adding more information now which changes my initial analysis and requires another thread.

/hijack

Eh pm me bro?

[illninofan21]

Means she wants to get pounded by five different guys every week for the next 10 years...

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

Originally Posted by Italiantank26

I ended up seeing her that sunday, and that's when we decided on an open relationship, we ended up going back to my house and chillen n sh*t, fast fowarding to now, when she said she would give up the open relationship and go back to normal, this is when sh*t started happening, and now I'm trying to get rid of her.


This I completely agree with, and I think this is just exactly reason with why she is doing this


lol true on the marriage part, yes, I am taking all the advice of cutting contact, I deleted FB deleted her phone #, all that sh*t and even told her not to contact me until she is serious and has her sh*t together, only problem is she txt me two days later and I'm like wtf. I can't be that big of a dick and completely ignore her, so thats when I cave. Cause I obviously still want sh*t to work, but no longer am I forcing it, and I know its unrealistic

Yeah i think your in the right with the no contact, that's what i'm doing now anyhow, after awhile she will probley come crawling back. Girls are ****ed up in the head..

[xJustin]

Originally Posted by Italiantank26

So what the f*ck does it mean when your gf tells you that she loves you, your her best friend, and you mean the world to her, but that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment cause she can't handle it. I'm like wtf, why can't you handle it, cause you can't handle the stress not being single and surrounded by college dudes? She said no this isn't the reason, and failed to comply what it was. Anyone wanna give me the male interpretation of what she really ment

she isnt attracted to you anymore. (you know how when you see a hot girl and you are ATTRACTED? Well she doesnt feel like that towards you and its NOT about your looks either).

she loves you...as a FRIEND.

"best friend" is the key word here you shoulda just been like "my friend book is full homie".

solution: start busting her balls and remain indifferent and find other women to make her jealous.

[CelticBhoy]

Originally Posted by DocHol1day

if you were over her you wouldnt be answerin calls, replying to texts, and you DEFINATELY wouldnt be makin a thread about her....... jus sayin.

anyway, just cut off contact with her dude. she wwants to expierence being young and in college. i.e. lots of sleeping around. who can blame her? i dont. but she is scared because you give her a sense of stability, so thats why she keeps calling and texting. theres no reason to hate her for wanting to live the college life, but theres no reason you should be her rock either.

cut contact, or at the very least be totally cold and distant if your not strong enough to cut contact all together. your 18. your marriage wouldve failed anyway

You are the ****ing man.

Tell it like it is.

[Mr.Leather]

lol

[dsuhiti]

Dude, the SAME thing happened to me 2 days ago with a girlfriend of 11.5 months. Its like I was friend zoned by her after a year?! I dunno man, same situation as you, confused, upset, angry etc.

I think she is just unattracted to you now. Definately doesn't have to be another guy in her life. Mine just said that she is too young for a serious relationship etc etc. Understandable, girls before 23ish don't know what the f*uck they want. So I've decided to be a man whore for the next few years and then get back into serious stuff. Dunno how to help you out, I know you feel like sh!t and upset, but try to forget about it and keep yourself busy.

It sucks, especially when you gave it your all. Good luck bro.

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

Originally Posted by dsuhiti

Dude, the SAME thing happened to me 2 days ago with a girlfriend of 11.5 months. Its like I was friend zoned by her after a year?! I dunno man, same situation as you, confused, upset, angry etc.

I think she is just unattracted to you now. Definately doesn't have to be another guy in her life. Mine just said that she is too young for a serious relationship etc etc. Understandable, girls before 23ish don't know what the f*uck they want. So I've decided to be a man whore for the next few years and then get back into serious stuff. Dunno how to help you out, I know you feel like sh!t and upset, but try to forget about it and keep yourself busy.

It sucks, especially when you gave it your all. Good luck bro.

Was it ended on bad term's or no?

[skydve76]

Dude, she's already whoring behind your back. You're 18, you'll have at least 6 more bitches in a relationship before you marry in mid 20s or 30s.

Don't try to pin a whore down, once a whore, always a whore. You can't be watching your back like that.

[Italiantank26]

yea f*ck it, not gonna bother begging for her back, as I've done that, its over, idc, lol, I just wanted the male interpretation=what she actually meant, when she said she wanted to be best friends still love me etc. and I guess I got it. Just gonna focus on getting more jacked than you guys here on this forum and school