GF kissed another guy...

[ukero]

how did she react to you not wanting her to come home?

[MrZippy]

she could hardly speak. tears. basically had a panic attack

[yeahitsgotahemi]

Another piece of advice OP

Silence whatever voices are in your head for a second and just go with your gut


Your gut is right 99% of the time

[fantasticoo]

DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS THAT THEY JUST 'KISSED'?

I gauren fu/cking tee that FAR more than that occured.
Think about it, an emotional lonely girl in a LDR.. obviously horny, hasn't had some in a while. Close to a guy shes obviously attracted to; and all that occurs is a kiss? i don't believe it for a second.

100% chance 2nd base
80% chance 3rd base
75% chance alllllllll the way.

You have absolutely zero way of finding out what really happened and thats why you need to end it.

If you are stupid and stay in the relationship, then your only option (although its extremely shi/tty) is to sit her down in person, and ask her EXACTLY what happened. I'm talking go through it meticulously in chronilogical order.

"So what happened exactly after you kissed?"
If you ask this question and there is a 0.2second hesitation on her part, yeah, shes ****ed you around.

cliffs:
- She did more
- you have zero chance of finding out what really happened
- you can try by grilling her about what happened EXACTLY

cliffs of cliffs
- GTFO OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.

[cheerupemokid]

Originally Posted by Tiffany Wantsmore

I agree with Simon2g. A kiss is just a kiss. It means nothing. It doesn't mean she has feelings for the guy or anything, she could well have just been lonely. LDRs are difficult and sucky. It also doesn't mean she doesn't love the OP.

You should all calm down. Dumping someone after a year and a half because of a one off mistake is way overreacting. I'm not saying instant forgiveness or not telling her how pissed off you are ... but let the punishment fit the crime.

Ignoring the fact that the history of these situations that most of us have experienced (or knew people who experienced) suggests that a lot more than a kiss happened:

Any good relationship has to be built on a foundation of trust. She violated that trust by making out with her "friend" when she was in a relationship with the OP.

If the OP cannot trust her after she violated his trust like this, he should dump her. Because if he can't trust her, he's wasting both of their time.

[45poundbench]

OP from what i read.. she had no intention of telling you, not until you called her out.

Looks like she's a liar brah, and possibly she only admitted to the 'least' of the details to save herself the most trouble.

When I'm in a relationship with a girl, there's no ****ing way I can cheat, I just can't imagine hurting my gf at the time like that, its just not fair to the other person. I would never even KISS another girl.

So what about you man, if you truly "loved" someone like your gf is claiming, would you even KISS someone else while in a relationship with them?

[Jonty007]

Dump that *hore! She probably fcked him aswell

[Matt_Buddha]

Originally Posted by ZammerZee

'We kissed' = 'We had sex'

You've lost trust, no way of coming back from that, as someone has already said end it.

What he said.

Pretty sure it just wasn't a kiss....she was drunk, she almost certainly ****ed him.

If she does it once she'll do it again. End of story.

Move on.

[Bombog]

Originally Posted by fantasticoo

DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS THAT THEY JUST 'KISSED'?

I gauren fu/cking tee that FAR more than that occured.
Think about it, an emotional lonely girl in a LDR.. obviously horny, hasn't had some in a while. Close to a guy shes obviously attracted to; and all that occurs is a kiss? i don't believe it for a second.

100% chance 2nd base
80% chance 3rd base
75% chance alllllllll the way.

You have absolutely zero way of finding out what really happened and thats why you need to end it.

If you are stupid and stay in the relationship, then your only option (although its extremely shi/tty) is to sit her down in person, and ask her EXACTLY what happened. I'm talking go through it meticulously in chronilogical order.

"So what happened exactly after you kissed?"
If you ask this question and there is a 0.2second hesitation on her part, yeah, shes ****ed you around.

cliffs:
- She did more
- you have zero chance of finding out what really happened
- you can try by grilling her about what happened EXACTLY

cliffs of cliffs
- GTFO OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.

this my man. If I was the dude she kissed, I would have put my hand up her shirt and fondled her breasts at the very least. I'd probably put my hand down her pants and finger her, then because I did that she would put her hand down my pants and give me a serving of beef strokeinoff. Who knows if it would stop there or keep going. When it comes to people and sex, you can't give them the benefit of the doubt.

[Carnage44]

If she was willing to throw away your whole relationship for a kiss, what else is she capable of?

I would break up.

[Ecnewyx]

Originally Posted by Tiffany Wantsmore

I agree with Simon2g. A kiss is just a kiss. It means nothing. It doesn't mean she has feelings for the guy or anything, she could well have just been lonely. LDRs are difficult and sucky. It also doesn't mean she doesn't love the OP.

You should all calm down. Dumping someone after a year and a half because of a one off mistake is way overreacting. I'm not saying instant forgiveness or not telling her how pissed off you are ... but let the punishment fit the crime.

This is why you can't take the opinions of women seriously in relationships.

"It means nothing"? I loled. I wonder why it is then that people in committed relationships don't just go around making out with whomever they want.

It's not about the punishment fitting the crime. It's OP not being able to trust her anymore and wanting to save himself (and her) a lot of future heartache.

Break it off, OP.

[Ace_2004]

That sucks man, if i was you i'd move on though.

The way i see it you would never cheat on anyone or do anything that could put your relationship in danger if you truly wanted the relationship to work and adored the person you're with.
The fact that she kissed another dude shows otherwise or that she has no ability to control her own impulses and if thats the case then its probably gonna happen again in a similiar situation in the future.

Verdict = Ditch her, shes crossed the line

[rattler280]

She kissed another guy, but i know her well enough to know she loves me! lol

[bmy-]

Lesson learned: Keep the leash short next time. Just give her everything you expect from her, and she can't bitch about the leash.

Also -- she did more. Even if she didn't.. can you really trust her when she says that she did not?

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

This is why LDRs don't work.

[Jaw-Knee]

Originally Posted by Tiffany Wantsmore

I agree with Simon2g. A kiss is just a kiss. It means nothing. It doesn't mean she has feelings for the guy or anything, she could well have just been lonely. LDRs are difficult and sucky. It also doesn't mean she doesn't love the OP.

You should all calm down. Dumping someone after a year and a half because of a one off mistake is way overreacting. I'm not saying instant forgiveness or not telling her how pissed off you are ... but let the punishment fit the crime.

No.

As for letting the punishment fit the crime... Uh, that's kind of what breaking up with a cheater is.

Originally Posted by Tiffany Wantsmore

This is why LDRs don't work.

Wrong--this is why people with your attitude who try their hands at LDRs fail.

[HamMach1]

Originally Posted by SiMON2g

Was she drunk? Describe the kiss a little more, a kiss doesnt mean much, but weather you can trust her is another thing..

Actually, it means a lot.

OP, from personal experience, you should end it... for your own sake. Trust me.

[Future55]

Just out of curiosity, how did you become suspicious? or what suspicions did you have? Why would you even call her out on that?

[CelticBhoy]

Originally Posted by Tiffany Wantsmore

A kiss is just a kiss. It means nothing. It doesn't mean she has feelings for the guy or anything, she could well have just been lonely. LDRs are difficult and sucky. It also doesn't mean she doesn't love the OP.

You should all calm down. Dumping someone after a year and a half because of a one off mistake is way overreacting. I'm not saying instant forgiveness or not telling her how pissed off you are ... but let the punishment fit the crime.

I disagree and here's why. Relationships are all about commitments. There are positives and negatives about being in a monogamous relationship. One of those negatives is you're faithful. I guess there are various degrees, but in my opinion: If you want to kiss someone else, get out of the relationship.

A kiss might be just a kiss. That does hold merit. For example: My girlfriend is an actress. In the past she's had to kiss others in theatre, film, etc. I signed up for that. Not the easiest thing in the world, but I know what I was getting myself into and I know I have nothing to worry about. I think that's the only time it can have merit, unless the couple agrees beforehand what the rules are.

Outside of that? It's a breach of contract. The relationship is over. No hesitation.

Originally Posted by Tiffany Wantsmore

This is why LDRs don't work.

LDRs can work. I have seen LDRs work successfully. Relationships require effort to work. A LDR is simply more effort + rational behavior. Sorry, but if my girlfriend had to go to LA for 4 months, big deal. 4 months is 4 months. You visit once in a while, keep in contact, and take care of YOURSELF. If you're truly happy, serious, and committed it's not that difficult.

Besides: that's what masturbation is for.

Originally Posted by Jaw-Knee

No.

As for letting the punishment fit the crime... Uh, that's kind of what breaking up with a cheater is.



Wrong--this is why people with your attitude who try their hands at LDRs fail.

Can't disagree with this.

[chris423]

Originally Posted by ZammerZee

'We kissed' = 'We had sex'

You've lost trust, no way of coming back from that, as someone has already said end it.

This x100

[Bones98]

LOL at kissing not meaning anything. OP, you should jsu move on. She broke your trust and there's a huge chance she will do it again.

[Random Letters]

Originally Posted by CelticBhoy

I disagree and here's why. Relationships are all about commitments. There are positives and negatives about being in a monogamous relationship. One of those negatives is you're faithful. I guess there are various degrees, but in my opinion: If you want to kiss someone else, get out of the relationship.

A kiss might be just a kiss. That does hold merit. For example: My girlfriend is an actress. In the past she's had to kiss others in theatre, film, etc. I signed up for that. Not the easiest thing in the world, but I know what I was getting myself into and I know I have nothing to worry about. I think that's the only time it can have merit, unless the couple agrees beforehand what the rules are.

Outside of that? It's a breach of contract. The relationship is over. No hesitation.



LDRs can work. I have seen LDRs work successfully. Relationships require effort to work. A LDR is simply more effort + rational behavior. Sorry, but if my girlfriend had to go to LA for 4 months, big deal. 4 months is 4 months. You visit once in a while, keep in contact, and take care of YOURSELF. If you're truly happy, serious, and committed it's not that difficult.

Besides: that's what masturbation is for.



Can't disagree with this.

This is about as clear and correct as you are going to get...good post.

[tcs2k01]

Girlfriends get only one chance to cheat IMHO. If it happens once it will happen again, and if they are f'in around they aren't worth your time anyway. If you keep giving them chances they will keep getting away with BS. There are too many women in this world to let one ruin you.

[B.L.A.C.K]

How do u know she only kisssed him

[shitbrickhouse]

LDR wont work.

/thread

[marcFE]

It comes down to you and whether you trust her or not. If she came out and admitted it she would have a lot more of a case for just "a kiss" but the fact that you had to call her out on it means 90% chance she is lying or downplaying it a lot for sympathy. Issue is between you two to work out since we obviously don't feel what you do but I gotta agree with the consensus of at least taking a long break or being completely done with her.

[sargemaki]

-You tried your best to let her feel shes by your side while she was away and this is what you got from her (yes it hurt like hell)

-if she kissed don't be surprised if she fu**ed him too

-a trust when its broken would take months to get things close to how it was before and keep in mind those months would be pain in the ass and constant headache

-even if you worked hard on the trust chances are too high to risk when she gets into a similar situation again


....Is she really worth it after doing this to u?

[meteoraniac]

although it sounds pretty cliche, i'm a firm believer that once a cheater, always a cheater...

save the heartache and just leave her seriously..

[ibzGSZ120]

Originally Posted by Dom_88

It'll never be the same again. Trust broken like that won't be the same.

I'd say just save yourself a bunch of stress, headaches, etc. and just end it.

this. she fuked up. move on.

[MDguySC]

If you guys were in a long-distance relationship and she got so lonely... shouldn't she have picked up the phone and called you!? There is things like phone sex to satisfy "cravings" if that's what's going on with her... but I doubt that a kiss satisfied her desire... Then again, I also doubt that it was just a kiss... Whether they had sex or not, who knows, but it's not unheard of for a girl to tell a guy that it was "just a kiss" and that is her condensed version of "it was just a kiss and a blowjob"...

Hell, if you want to give her another chance, tell her that you're going to have to start back at square one with the whole initial calling and dating and all that... it's entirely 100% fair for you to do that... and then that might give you more information about her intentions and whether she's really into you or not... I know that sounds kind of harsh, but in relationships - if you don't have trust, what the hell do you have? ALL relationships are built on trust, so if she violated your trust and you think that you can get back on track with her, start over... completely. If she wants your trust back, she's going to have to EARN it back because she did something to lose it... It's not fair to you to keep up with this girl when she's the one that went and kissed this other guy if she's not going to be in it. I don't want to sound like an a**hole, but put some very strong, clear and concise boundaries up with her defining what you expect and all that... it's COMPLETELY your right to do that at this point (it's not being controlling... it's letting her know that you mean business and it's how we repair broken relationships)... You've kept your end of the bargain, now she needs to either keep hers or get packing...

In reality, alll of us can share our opinions and experiences... it's ultimatley up to you to figure out what's best for you. If you need time to figure out what you're going to do, take that time, as it's understandable and normal that you're confused and hurt and upset. Just remember that, at the end of the day, there are so many other girls out there that WILL respect you and that's what you deserve!