New Gay Thread (Part 3)

[1.8Tsunami]

Originally Posted by boon9484

LOL thats hilarious, I've never been drunk dialed

It's not necessarily a good thing lol...it always pissed me off when I had an early class and I'd get call in the middle of the night..some of them were pretty funny though. Also, you eventually get to return the favor

[t-xx-boy]

dont mean to hijack the conversation but i do have something bothering me.

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.
my libido is through the roof
the issue is my wife is in iraq (therefore sex isnt happening at all)
and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her. ive always been a switch when it came to dating either butch or fem girls and i finnaly married a butch girl over a year and a half ago. but since my testosterone has been going up ive been looking at more fem girls and not even wanting to talk to my wife that much. its kind of like we are having a battle of the butch. ive tried telling her but she just goes "girl" on me and plays at my weak points. how do i fix this problem with out losing my identity or my wife?

[Trempid]

Originally Posted by t-xx-boy

dont mean to hijack the conversation but i do have something bothering me.

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.
my libido is through the roof
the issue is my wife is in iraq (therefore sex isnt happening at all)
and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her. ive always been a switch when it came to dating either butch or fem girls and i finnaly married a butch girl over a year and a half ago. but since my testosterone has been going up ive been looking at more fem girls and not even wanting to talk to my wife that much. its kind of like we are having a battle of the butch. ive tried telling her but she just goes "girl" on me and plays at my weak points. how do i fix this problem with out losing my identity or my wife?

Humm, not sure if this is the right thread, but let's see if I can help.
I don't believe that your preference for fem vs. butch girls is related to increased test. As we go through life, we change our preferences or points of view basted on what we experience. At one point in your life you were seeking a stronger partner (emotionally and/or physically) maybe because you wanted a more equal type of relationship. That led you to your wife.

Here is where the test might come in... increased test can make you more aggressive. This increased aggressiveness might have caused you and your wife to clash more often, each of you trying to be the one in control of the relationship. After all this time in this relationship, you might have grown tired of this power struggle, and her present absence might have given you time to re-evaluate the situation. You feel emotionally unsatisfied by your wife's absence of fem behaviour. You probably need both fem and butch to be really satisfied.

My suggestion is to discuss this with your wife. I think it's a waste to through a year and a half down the drain in this manner. The present friction may be due to lack of communication between the two of you. Maybe she can be more fem or at least blunt her strong character to satisfy your emotional need. Also, there might be things you do that are bothering her. If you talk about all this with her, and both of you try to resolve your differences your relation might grow stronger instead of burning out and ending. Relationships are a lot of work, never forget that!

I really hope this helps, let me know how things go.

[boon9484]

Originally Posted by t-xx-boy

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.

and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her.how do i fix this problem
with out losing my identity or my wife?

edited becuase i now realize i sounded like a total a_s_S hole

[mntbikedude]

Originally Posted by t-xx-boy

dont mean to hijack the conversation but i do have something bothering me.

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.
my libido is through the roof
the issue is my wife is in iraq (therefore sex isnt happening at all)
and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her. ive always been a switch when it came to dating either butch or fem girls and i finnaly married a butch girl over a year and a half ago. but since my testosterone has been going up ive been looking at more fem girls and not even wanting to talk to my wife that much. its kind of like we are having a battle of the butch. ive tried telling her but she just goes "girl" on me and plays at my weak points. how do i fix this problem with out losing my identity or my wife?

As has been said taking test boosters at your age is a bad idea. Taking them while your wife is away is even worse. I would suggest getting a sexual identity therapist to help you work thru all this. Not being able to talk to your wife about this will just get worse. Trust me I've already been thru it.

Your wife can have a powerful impact on your identity and you both need to be on the same page of what that means.

[bhujerban]

I'm going to an interview today with the church that wants me for their pianist. What fun! I played a few songs from the hymnal on my spinet last night and did quite well for sight-reading. Maybe this'll actually work... The director has also suggested that we work on a pageant-type programme, something that the church does not do. But he figures with a director like myself in his fold, we could do it.

Did I mention that if I'm a member of the church, I get free venue space for my shows?

[mntbikedude]

Originally Posted by Trempid

Humm, not sure if this is the right thread, but let's see if I can help.
I don't believe that your preference for fem vs. butch girls is related to increased test. As we go through life, we change our preferences or points of view basted on what we experience. At one point in your life you were seeking a stronger partner (emotionally and/or physically) maybe because you wanted a more equal type of relationship. That led you to your wife.

Here is where the test might come in... increased test can make you more aggressive. This increased aggressiveness might have caused you and your wife to clash more often, each of you trying to be the one in control of the relationship. After all this time in this relationship, you might have grown tired of this power struggle, and her present absence might have given you time to re-evaluate the situation. You feel emotionally unsatisfied by your wife's absence of fem behaviour. You probably need both fem and butch to be really satisfied.

My suggestion is to discuss this with your wife. I think it's a waste to through a year and a half down the drain in this manner. The present friction may be due to lack of communication between the two of you. Maybe she can be more fem or at least blunt her strong character to satisfy your emotional need. Also, there might be things you do that are bothering her. If you talk about all this with her, and both of you try to resolve your differences your relation might grow stronger instead of burning out and ending. Relationships are a lot of work, never forget that!

I really hope this helps, let me know how things go.

Those are some really good points. However when either party trys to suppress their inner self at some point that is going to come out. For most they would think my wife and I's problems are because I am gay. But I don't see it that way. The fact is I have a lot of needs that only a women can fullfill.

Our conflict didn't exsplode over my attraction to men, it happened after my kinda butch wife decided to start a power struggle with me. We are both very alpha but my wife had kind of deferred to me. I like being the head of the family, the male, the father. But all of a sudden we are both competing for that role.

This led to me feeling less and less the man and more my wifes bitch. This has been incredibly damaging to my self-esteem. It's funny in all this no one, none of our councelors have been able to say that to my wife. No one, other than my close friends have been able to see what is going on.

The fact is my wife has as many identity issues as I do, but I don't believe she is willing to be honest about it.

[Trempid]

Originally Posted by mntbikedude

Those are some really good points. However when either party trys to suppress their inner self at some point that is going to come out. For most they would think my wife and I's problems are because I am gay. But I don't see it that way. The fact is I have a lot of needs that only a women can fullfill.

Our conflict didn't exsplode over my attraction to men, it happened after my kinda butch wife decided to start a power struggle with me. We are both very alpha but my wife had kind of deferred to me. I like being the head of the family, the male, the father. But all of a sudden we are both competing for that role.

This lead to me feeling less and less the man and more my wifes bitch. This has been incredibly damaging to my self-esteem. It's funny in all this no one, none of our councelors have been able to say that to my wife. No one, other than my close friends have been able to see what is going on.

The fact is my wife has as many identity issues as I do, but I don't believe she is willing to be honest about it.

I agree and not once did I state that either one of them should repress a part of them. Actually, quite the opposite. It could be that his wife is acting butch because she thinks he likes it that way. It could be that she is repressing part of her self (her feminine side). Sometimes we think we want one extreme but in actuality we want a balance. The OP thought he wanted a butch woman. Now he's having second thoughts about it.

I do believe they need to discuss this situation fully, try to resolve the issue, and if the issue cannot be solved it may be time to part ways. What I didn't notice when I first posted my reply was the OP's age. It's possible that he was either 18 or 19 when he got married. To me it feels like him and his wife possibly rushed into marriage. At that age it's hard to really know yourself, and, unless they dated since childhood, it's hard to know the other person as well. It is possible that their marriage was never meant to be. Then again, maybe it was but a lot of work needs to be done, a lot of conversations need to be had, and a lot of discussions need to take place (maybe with a counseling specialist) to strengthen the relationship and solve the problem.

Going back to the first possibility though, if the two of them are trying to hold on to their marriage out of convenience alone, and don't really have feelings for each other, they are doing a disfavor to themselves and to one another.


I also agree with Boon. Considering the OP's age and fitness level as seen from his profile pics, I don't think test boosters are a wise supplement choice. I would stick to protein, creatine, a good diet and lots of hard work in the gym (both cardio and weight training). Oh and also a lot of patience (the most important thing)!

[Gemini6Ice]

Originally Posted by t-xx-boy

dont mean to hijack the conversation but i do have something bothering me.

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.
my libido is through the roof
the issue is my wife is in iraq (therefore sex isnt happening at all)
and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her. ive always been a switch when it came to dating either butch or fem girls and i finnaly married a butch girl over a year and a half ago. but since my testosterone has been going up ive been looking at more fem girls and not even wanting to talk to my wife that much. its kind of like we are having a battle of the butch. ive tried telling her but she just goes "girl" on me and plays at my weak points. how do i fix this problem with out losing my identity or my wife?

What is pre-T? At first I was thinking it was pre-op, which would imply you're ftm? But is it something else? I don't completely follow.

[pseudohero]

Originally Posted by Gemini6Ice

What is pre-T? At first I was thinking it was pre-op, which would imply you're ftm? But is it something else? I don't completely follow.

I believe you're correct, which explains the TEST, guys.
I think we need our token thread lesbian to halp! paging: Thuirwyne

[DocOH]

Originally Posted by t-xx-boy

dont mean to hijack the conversation but i do have something bothering me.

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.
my libido is through the roof
the issue is my wife is in iraq (therefore sex isnt happening at all)
and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her. ive always been a switch when it came to dating either butch or fem girls and i finnaly married a butch girl over a year and a half ago. but since my testosterone has been going up ive been looking at more fem girls and not even wanting to talk to my wife that much. its kind of like we are having a battle of the butch. ive tried telling her but she just goes "girl" on me and plays at my weak points. how do i fix this problem with out losing my identity or my wife?

Hmmm.. that's a tough one. I've never known anyone, personally, in your situation so I have nothing to reference for this kind of relationship dynamic. The only thing I could say that could possibly help is not to make ANY lasting decisions while you're taking the testosterone. I think that would go for any chemically altering medication, even anti-depressants (which I had a 2 year love/hate relationship with in the past). I imagine you will probably find yourself much more clear headed and even keeled in your thoughts that you may look at this completely different when you are done with your treatment. "this too shall pass".

[LoL Rick]

Originally Posted by Gemini6Ice

What is pre-T? At first I was thinking it was pre-op, which would imply you're ftm? But is it something else? I don't completely follow.

Originally Posted by pseudohero

I believe you're correct, which explains the TEST, guys.
I think we need our token thread lesbian to halp! paging: Thuirwyne

Yes, Gemini got it. The first clue was the username - XX as in chromosomes. But the clincher is in his bodyspace comment: "my long term goal is complicated. as a trans-guy more that just hardcore workouts are required for me to get where i want.. but in short i want be in the best design i can be"

[boon9484]

Originally Posted by LoL Rick

Yes, Gemini got it. The first clue was the username - XX as in chromosomes. But the clincher is in his bodyspace comment: "my long term goal is complicated. as a trans-guy more that just hardcore workouts are required for me to get where i want.. but in short i want be in the best design i can be"

ohhh.. this changes everything

coincidentally, i am currently writing a long paper and giving a presentation tomorrow on infant gender re-assignment surgery (for infants who are born as either hermaphrodites or with odd genitals, such as females with large clitoris, males with very small penis, persons who menstruate through their phallus, or anything in between with any number of combinations!...)
And its long term effects on the infants who have had their gender re-assigned based on these abnormalities (which is usually extremely negative BTW).

Really made me appreciate the science behind it and it no longer seems strange or "freakish"... I think it should be taught to children in sex ed and adopted as a cultural norm... A lot of studies are showing about 4% of the population is born with some type of physiological gender abnormality, that is differentiated central nervous system, endocrine system, chromosomes, etc which cause gender differentiation, both biological and psychological.





(not sure if that's the boat the other guy is in.. just me going of on a tangent)

T-xx-guy may be on these for reasons other than plain body building... I recomend seeing a specialist or psycologist that specializes in the area to help you through as I can in no way relate to this...

On a further note i am continuing my format for my "gaysinmaine.com" website and creating another site for people who do not want to associate themselves with any gender or sexual orientation label... which makes since I think because male and female, gay and straight definitely do not even begin to encompass the range of inbetween-ness that people actually are

(thank you feminist perspectives class lol)

[Trempid]

I did not pick up on the clues, sorry.
Ok so while my Testosterone use opinion can be discarded (oh I'm so ashamed, sorry), I think my relationship suggestions still stand. XX I think you need to realize that the testosterone is affecting your thoughts. Once you get used to it, you might realize that you still crave your partner's aggressiveness. Give it some time, and maybe see a good relationship counselor.

Once again, I apologize for not fully understanding the situation.

[MenStraight]

I know I'm not ready but I'll do a progress or lack of progress picture. How about the rest of you guys, have you been progressing?

[boon9484]

Originally Posted by MenStraight

I know I'm not ready but I'll do a progress or lack of progress picture. How about the rest of you guys, have you been progressing?

I'll have mine up, probably virtually no difference, I really didn't get my diet back into gear until about a week ago... but i will just to help motivate myself.

[MenStraight]

Originally Posted by boon9484

ohhh.. this changes everything

coincidentally, i am currently writing a long paper and giving a presentation tomorrow on infant gender re-assignment surgery (for infants who are born as either hermaphrodites or with odd genitals, such as females with large clitoris, males with very small penis, persons who menstruate through their phallus, or anything in between with any number of combinations!...)
And its long term effects on the infants who have had their gender re-assigned based on these abnormalities (which is usually extremely negative BTW).

Really made me appreciate the science behind it and it no longer seems strange or "freakish"... I think it should be taught to children in sex ed and adopted as a cultural norm... A lot of studies are showing about 4% of the population is born with some type of physiological gender abnormality, that is differentiated central nervous system, endocrine system, chromosomes, etc which cause gender differentiation, both biological and psychological.

lol)

Interesting and relevant subject with the story of that female athlete runner bringing more attention to this gender re-assignment. I would question on what would be more traumatic physically or Psychological on individuals that are born with abnormalities or both genders to either let them live with their abnormalities or try to correct this at birth (which is what doctors are doing now)?

[MenStraight]

Originally Posted by boon9484

I'll have mine up, probably virtually no difference, I really didn't get my diet back into gear until about a week ago... but i will just to help motivate myself.

I know as difficult as it is to gain weight for you, I have the opposite problem to keep it off.
"Off Damn Weight" nope not working.

[MenStraight]

Originally Posted by t-xx-boy

dont mean to hijack the conversation but i do have something bothering me.

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.
my libido is through the roof
the issue is my wife is in iraq (therefore sex isnt happening at all)
and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her. ive always been a switch when it came to dating either butch or fem girls and i finnaly married a butch girl over a year and a half ago. but since my testosterone has been going up ive been looking at more fem girls and not even wanting to talk to my wife that much. its kind of like we are having a battle of the butch. ive tried telling her but she just goes "girl" on me and plays at my weak points. how do i fix this problem with out losing my identity or my wife?

I would say your fine, you are just acting like a regular guy. Didn't somebody tell you that men are pigs, as*holes, inconsiderate bastards? I think you are right on track, do some sweet talking and baby I love you and she will be fine.

[NoMeatFreak]

Wow. I am impressed that this site is open-minded enough to except the gays and the Bi folks to bodybuilding, that's awesome. Thank god it's 2009. For the guy that said it was difficult to find a good bb pic of a hairy guy, I agree it is hard to find. Most hairy dudes have way too much hair, and a lot fo the times it looks and feels like rough pubic hair, and it's crazy dark. However, I myself have a hairy chest, but not too hairy, and it's soft and smooth to the touch, and it's dark blonde in color, and it's thin enough that you can still see my skin underneath lol. Anyway kudos to you all.

[darryl27]

Originally Posted by NoMeatFreak

Wow. I am impressed that this site is open-minded enough to except the gays and the Bi folks to bodybuilding, that's awesome. Thank god it's 2009. For the guy that said it was difficult to find a good bb pic of a hairy guy, I agree it is hard to find. Most hairy dudes have way too much hair, and a lot fo the times it looks and feels like rough pubic hair, and it's crazy dark. However, I myself have a hairy chest, but not too hairy, and it's soft and smooth to the touch, and it's dark blonde in color, and it's thin enough that you can still see my skin underneath lol. Anyway kudos to you all.

Oh no, no, no...you can't post this without pics!!!

[NoMeatFreak]

Originally Posted by darryl27

Oh no, no, no...you can't post this without pics!!!

lol. I'll get them eventually. I am still working on my phsyique. Only been at the gym for 5 months now. I need a camera that works :-/

[atticus_a]

Originally Posted by t-xx-boy

dont mean to hijack the conversation but i do have something bothering me.

ive been taking test boosters and estrogen blockers to aid in my work out since im still pre-T and ive definatly noticed a change.
my libido is through the roof
the issue is my wife is in iraq (therefore sex isnt happening at all)
and ive slowly noticed that im slowly becoming un-attracted to her. ive always been a switch when it came to dating either butch or fem girls and i finnaly married a butch girl over a year and a half ago. but since my testosterone has been going up ive been looking at more fem girls and not even wanting to talk to my wife that much. its kind of like we are having a battle of the butch. ive tried telling her but she just goes "girl" on me and plays at my weak points. how do i fix this problem with out losing my identity or my wife?

Didn't your provider discuss the ways that hormones will influence your cognition? You will probably notice that you are becoming more visually stimulated than you previously were before. That is just one example in which there are many. You are really going to be experiencing a lot of changes. Previously, I would imagine that you were experiencing gender incongruence hence the motivation to re-assign your sex. But now, you are dealing with the ramifications of having a hormonal milieu that is truly more like a mans and less than a women's. Before you were probably gender males (which is more of a cognitive artifice), now you are becoming hormonally male. Your identity and the way you perceive the world made indeed change. Where is your therapist in your transition? What role is he or she participating in your transition?

So your identity might change. I am slightly mad that no one counseled you in that the sexual re-assignment can cause changes in perception and experiences. As for maintaining your identity, I have no idea if that is truly possible. I know that sounds harsh but it is probably true.

I think there are more issues than the presented one. So your gender preference is developing different (of course divorcing the notion of biological sex and gender) is now more feminine. I have heard of similar effects. What is the outcome that you want? Do you still wish to maintain your relationship with your wife?

My advice for you is to talk with your therapists about your emotions and changes in your perception, finding out the direction that you want to go in, and re-establish communication with your wife. You might want to wait before you do anything dramatic because you are transitioning and that might really be playing havoc with everything. Once the process is done it might make it far more clear the direction that is necessary for your happiness.

[Trempid]

Originally Posted by MenStraight

I know I'm not ready but I'll do a progress or lack of progress picture. How about the rest of you guys, have you been progressing?

3 more days!

Originally Posted by boon9484

I'll have mine up, probably virtually no difference, I really didn't get my diet back into gear until about a week ago... but i will just to help motivate myself.

We're talking about progress pic AVs. We're (all) planning on changing AVs on Nov 1st.

Originally Posted by NoMeatFreak

Wow. I am impressed that this site is open-minded enough to except the gays and the Bi folks to bodybuilding, that's awesome. Thank god it's 2009. For the guy that said it was difficult to find a good bb pic of a hairy guy, I agree it is hard to find. Most hairy dudes have way too much hair, and a lot fo the times it looks and feels like rough pubic hair, and it's crazy dark. However, I myself have a hairy chest, but not too hairy, and it's soft and smooth to the touch, and it's dark blonde in color, and it's thin enough that you can still see my skin underneath lol. Anyway kudos to you all.

Welcome!

[blknbuff]

Originally Posted by NoMeatFreak

Wow. I am impressed that this site is open-minded enough to except the gays and the Bi folks to bodybuilding, that's awesome. Thank god it's 2009. For the guy that said it was difficult to find a good bb pic of a hairy guy, I agree it is hard to find. Most hairy dudes have way too much hair, and a lot fo the times it looks and feels like rough pubic hair, and it's crazy dark. However, I myself have a hairy chest, but not too hairy, and it's soft and smooth to the touch, and it's dark blonde in color, and it's thin enough that you can still see my skin underneath lol. Anyway kudos to you all.

Pics!

[thickmass]

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree
Merry, merry king of the bush is he
Laugh kookaburra, laugh kookaburra
Gay your life must be

[bhujerban]

Had my interview last night. Based on the response of the choir, they like me and I will be their new pianist next month. I don't have all the details but the hire is a definite.

[indygary]

[WorldEdition]

Originally Posted by bhujerban

Had my interview last night. Based on the response of the choir, they like me and I will be their new pianist next month. I don't have all the details but the hire is a definite.

Congrats!

But what's your long-term plan? Are you still doing the school or you decided to ditch it?
Looking to move to any bigger city?

[Mr. Nitro]

Originally Posted by indygary

i choose the one on the left.