Eating Disorder Support Group

[tse]

Originally Posted by cthal13

Hey TSE, glad to see you're trying to get better. Though I'm still struggling myself, I would love to be able to help in any way that I can, I know I could use a support system sometimes too. I'm trying to just eat things that I like sometimes, while pretty much following a normal MMA/bodybuilding diet. It's worked sometimes and sometimes it hasn't, but I think I'm really ready to change my outlook on life, and how I view myself, which I think is a big underlying problem. Let me know if you ever want to chat.

Peace and love,
Casey

Thanks for replying - sometimes it feels like a massive uphill struggle but hopefully everything will fall into place. It just happens so suddenly, and I think part of the reason is that I'm very much all or nothing, so if I bought a packet of biscuits for example, I'd either eat none, or eat them all in one sitting. Also if something makes me really unhappy I temporarily stop caring about diet etc. I really need to learn moderation but this has been going on for so long now that I need to learn from the basics really. It's just so frustrating because I wouldn't view myself as a weak person but when it comes to food I just don't know the first thing!

[Environ]

Originally Posted by andrewpoleon

Hey, so at my college gym I always see this girl on the eliptical machine, and well she has some sort of eating disorder (litterally all skin and bones) and I don't feel just right seeing this and just doing nothing, because this girl is pretty far down the wrong path, and I was wondering what is the best way to approach this?

You can't do anything about it. You can try to be friendly towards her and that might give her a little boost, but don't start asking her questions about her problem. In fact, even if you try to be friendly, she will probably not respond the way you'd like. Chances are that if you get too close to her (and she will decide what that is), she will just leave the gym and go somewhere else. I'm glad to see that your heart is in the right place though in that you want to help her.

What you could do is point out your concern to a member of staff, preferably one who you think might be sympathetic and understanding. If she is as sick as you suggest, then she needs to work with a therapist who is experienced in treating eating disorders.

[Environ]

Originally Posted by tse

Thanks for replying - sometimes it feels like a massive uphill struggle but hopefully everything will fall into place. It just happens so suddenly, and I think part of the reason is that I'm very much all or nothing, so if I bought a packet of biscuits for example, I'd either eat none, or eat them all in one sitting. Also if something makes me really unhappy I temporarily stop caring about diet etc. I really need to learn moderation but this has been going on for so long now that I need to learn from the basics really. It's just so frustrating because I wouldn't view myself as a weak person but when it comes to food I just don't know the first thing!

You use food for emotional purposes and that is one of your biggest problems with food. Learning moderation is not going to help you unless you learn to detach your emotions from food. It's simple - food provides fuel and absolutely nothing else. This is how you need to look at food for the moment. Of course, food should be enjoyed too. It's just that people with eating distress abuse food because they use it to avoid dealing with things that they need to deal with, whether it's internal stress or external matters.

[tse]

Originally Posted by Environ

You use food for emotional purposes and that is one of your biggest problems with food. Learning moderation is not going to help you unless you learn to detach your emotions from food. It's simple - food provides fuel and absolutely nothing else. This is how you need to look at food for the moment. Of course, food should be enjoyed too. It's just that people with eating distress abuse food because they use it to avoid dealing with things that they need to deal with, whether it's internal stress or external matters.

You've definitely hit the nail on the head here but I enjoy food, and always have enjoyed it - I mean particularly sweet foods. And now I'm living in France which is littered with cake shops so I don't want to miss out on trying new things, but definitely need to stop what's going on at the moment. I think I should take your advice on thinking of food as fuel though, which will be really tough. I really appreciate your input, so thanks.

[andrewpoleon]

Originally Posted by Environ

You can't do anything about it. You can try to be friendly towards her and that might give her a little boost, but don't start asking her questions about her problem. In fact, even if you try to be friendly, she will probably not respond the way you'd like. Chances are that if you get too close to her (and she will decide what that is), she will just leave the gym and go somewhere else. I'm glad to see that your heart is in the right place though in that you want to help her.

What you could do is point out your concern to a member of staff, preferably one who you think might be sympathetic and understanding. If she is as sick as you suggest, then she needs to work with a therapist who is experienced in treating eating disorders.

Alright thanks, it's just that this a first time I've seen someone with a disorder, and it's really just unusual, especially when I see it almost every day in the same place doing the same thing.

[Environ]

Originally Posted by andrewpoleon

Alright thanks, it's just that this a first time I've seen someone with a disorder, and it's really just unusual, especially when I see it almost every day in the same place doing the same thing.

Well, just understand that this girl is very unhappy with her life and finds it very difficult to cope with life in general. Exercise and food are the only two things that she feels she can control, even though they are both ruining her life. I don't think you do, but please don't see her as some kind of freak; she's not but she is certainly unwell.

And, once again, thanks for caring.

[andrewpoleon]

Originally Posted by Environ

Well, just understand that this girl is very unhappy with her life and finds it very difficult to cope with life in general. Exercise and food are the only two things that she feels she can control, even though they are both ruining her life. I don't think you do, but please don't see her as some kind of freak; she's not but she is certainly unwell.

And, once again, thanks for caring.

O no no, that's not what I meant. I understand how eating disorders work. But thanks for clearing that up.

[recovering]

Originally Posted by andrewpoleon

Hey, so at my college gym I always see this girl on the eliptical machine, and well she has some sort of eating disorder (litterally all skin and bones) and I don't feel just right seeing this and just doing nothing, because this girl is pretty far down the wrong path, and I was wondering what is the best way to approach this?

I actually think it depends on where she is - if she is trying to recover, you might be really helpful if you are looking for a possible friendship. (Yes, I realize if she is all skin and bones running on the elliptical, she is definitely not in a GOOD place, but this doesn't necessarily mean she is in denial or not wanting to get better.) If I could find a friend who understood me right now, it would be ever so helpful in fighting my ED! But you should most definitely NOT go up to her offering help or advice. Instead, if you maybe bumped into her one day and said, "hey, we must be on the same schedule... if you ever want to grab coffee after a workout, let me know..." Just be prepared that if she is not in a good place, she's probably going to shut you down completely because she does not want to be disturbed during her gym time! But if you really care, I would say it's worth a shot. There were definitely times I was just wishing somebody would come up to me and offer to be a friend...

[andrewpoleon]

Originally Posted by recovering

I actually think it depends on where she is - if she is trying to recover, you might be really helpful if you are looking for a possible friendship. (Yes, I realize if she is all skin and bones running on the elliptical, she is definitely not in a GOOD place, but this doesn't necessarily mean she is in denial or not wanting to get better.) If I could find a friend who understood me right now, it would be ever so helpful in fighting my ED! But you should most definitely NOT go up to her offering help or advice. Instead, if you maybe bumped into her one day and said, "hey, we must be on the same schedule... if you ever want to grab coffee after a workout, let me know..." Just be prepared that if she is not in a good place, she's probably going to shut you down completely because she does not want to be disturbed during her gym time! But if you really care, I would say it's worth a shot. There were definitely times I was just wishing somebody would come up to me and offer to be a friend...

I see. Thanks for the input. It's weird I have a strict no hitting policy at the gym, but I guess for now all I can do is observe and see how things progress. If she looks like she is getting better well good for her.

[recovering]

Originally Posted by andrewpoleon

I see. Thanks for the input. It's weird I have a strict no hitting policy at the gym, but I guess for now all I can do is observe and see how things progress. If she looks like she is getting better well good for her.

Well I didn't mean to hit on her If she's really bad, she may not have many friends. EDs crave isolation!

[andrewpoleon]

Originally Posted by recovering

Well I didn't mean to hit on her If she's really bad, she may not have many friends. EDs crave isolation!

I know I know, but you said that that's what she might think in your previous post...

[cthal13]

Originally Posted by tse

It just happens so suddenly, and I think part of the reason is that I'm very much all or nothing, so if I bought a packet of biscuits for example, I'd either eat none, or eat them all in one sitting. Also if something makes me really unhappy I temporarily stop caring about diet etc. I really need to learn moderation but this has been going on for so long now that I need to learn from the basics really. It's just so frustrating because I wouldn't view myself as a weak person but when it comes to food I just don't know the first thing!

Ha you just described me! Well if you ever need to talk, I'm open to helping! I know how bad it can get :/

[Barry1337]

Originally Posted by tse

You've definitely hit the nail on the head here but I enjoy food, and always have enjoyed it - I mean particularly sweet foods. And now I'm living in France which is littered with cake shops so I don't want to miss out on trying new things, but definitely need to stop what's going on at the moment. I think I should take your advice on thinking of food as fuel though, which will be really tough. I really appreciate your input, so thanks.

I have exactly the same problem as you. If I start eating something, I can't stop until everything is gone. I noticed that I tend to eat more if I'm tired. If I can sleep long, then I automatically will eat less. I think my mind wants to reduce the fatigue with food.
Food isn't something that will give me energy but more something to look forward to. A kind of reward. Sometimes when I say "well I think it's dinner time" or "what are we going to eat?" people tell me that I only think about food. And that kinda puts me on the spot.
If only I could find a way to detach emotions from food. I guess all those years of counting calories and nutritions caused this. Now I don't count it anymore and I don't have the feeling that I'm controlling how much I eat, and therefore it doesn't matter how much I eat.
I guess I like to be in control of everything.
If psychotherapy wasn't so expensive I would probably consider that.

[jaim91]

AMAZING article by Tom Venuto about Orthorexia and disordered eating...

(I'm posting this for educational purposes, but this could be a trigger for some...be careful....)

I think bits of the article will hit home for all of us...

http://www.burnthefatblog.com/archiv...ean_eating.php

Take care of yourselves

[Environ]

Originally Posted by recovering

Well I didn't mean to hit on her If she's really bad, she may not have many friends. EDs crave isolation!

I don't think that they crave isolation. I think that the condition causes them to be isolated. It's easier to live with an ED when you are isolated. But, it's incredibly lonely. There were so many times when I was sick that I wished that somebody would just talk to me. In fact, I always felt like an outsider looking in.

[recovering]

Originally Posted by Environ

I don't think that they crave isolation. I think that the condition causes them to be isolated. It's easier to live with an ED when you are isolated. But, it's incredibly lonely. There were so many times when I was sick that I wished that somebody would just talk to me. In fact, I always felt like an outsider looking in.

I can't say that I agree with you totally here. I have struggled on and off with AN since I was 12 (now 27). My ED has become my best friend in that time. ED is a very controlling friend and does not allow other friendships in very easily. I'm not saying that it's not a lonely place, because it is (extremely so). But ultimately, I have continually chosen the friends hip of my ED over others. If ED wasn't so important in my life, I would replace that friendship with something more normal. One day I'll be ready for that... But right now, I'm lacking greatly in the area of having enough good friends. I'm social, attractive, and young, but ED is definitely holding me back.

[Environ]

Originally Posted by recovering

I can't say that I agree with you totally here. I have struggled on and off with AN since I was 12 (now 27). My ED has become my best friend in that time. ED is a very controlling friend and does not allow other friendships in very easily. I'm not saying that it's not a lonely place, because it is (extremely so). But ultimately, I have continually chosen the friends hip of my ED over others. If ED wasn't so important in my life, I would replace that friendship with something more normal. One day I'll be ready for that... But right now, I'm lacking greatly in the area of having enough good friends. I'm social, attractive, and young, but ED is definitely holding me back.

Well, that is certainly one way to look at your relationship with your ED. But, is it the one you would prefer? Could you imagine life WITHOUT the condition? Which would you prefer (in an ideal situation) - one very selfish, controlling and manipulative friend, or many friends who just want you to be yourself and to experience all the things that life has to offer? Would you like to be able to experience everything this world has to offer in a completely free and spontaneous way or would you rather be limited by the restraints imposed by that condition you call your friend? A real friend would not restrain a person.

When you realise just how much of life you are missing out on, THAT is when you will feel the same loneliness that I felt. You 'prefer' your friendship with your ED because you are not fully ready to become free of it. I bet you'd love to be 'social, attractive and young' but NOT held back. Don't delude yourself - the condition is not your friend.

[recovering]

Originally Posted by Environ

Well, that is certainly one way to look at your relationship with your ED. But, is it the one you would prefer? Could you imagine life WITHOUT the condition? Which would you prefer (in an ideal situation) - one very selfish, controlling and manipulative friend, or many friends who just want you to be yourself and to experience all the things that life has to offer? Would you like to be able to experience everything this world has to offer in a completely free and spontaneous way or would you rather be limited by the restraints imposed by that condition you call your friend? A real friend would not restrain a person.

When you realise just how much of life you are missing out on, THAT is when you will feel the same loneliness that I felt. You 'prefer' your friendship with your ED because you are not fully ready to become free of it. I bet you'd love to be 'social, attractive and young' but NOT held back. Don't delude yourself - the condition is not your friend.

No, I don't like having this relationship with ED. And it's taken me YEARS of therapy to even come to grips with how powerful a hold ED has on me. Trust me, I'm working damn hard at replacing my relationship with ED with something more meaningful. ED has done nothing good for me, my rational brain knows that. And I've missed out on SO much valuable stuff, I know that too. And there is so much in my future that I don't need to miss out on. I know how lonely I am. I'm fighting, but I'm just not quite strong enough to let go quite yet. I have confidence that I will be; trust me, I'm not giving up! Thank you for challenging me, Environ. Your messages are always insightful and encouraging!

[Newbaylder]

Well, my problem is completly the opposite than many, I have been totally underweight all my life. Its probably mostly just genetics, before I started eating like F*** (which is very hard - cant finnish a big mac meal) my BMI was about 15--- I think it has been about that for most of my life. And i have always gotten all the food I want.

I still have huge problems with my appetite, and I am kind of worried how I will survive in the army with the fast eating schelude and not so calorie dense foods... So yeah, if anyone has any advice on improving appetite I do appericate that.

And my BMI is at least over 18 now and probably if everythin goes well about 19-20 by the end of the year so at least, thats a huge improvement.

Its very strange how diffrent persons are regarding weight, some of my friends are BMI 18 and then some 30! But everyone can eat more than I do in one sitting, but they really are not in control of their diets so thats why they are so thin too.

Also this is bothering me alot cause I get that "throw up" and "diarhea" feeling pretty easily, + it do be nice to finnish a whole pizza when eating with friends- quicker the better of course. Right now its like if I am hungry I can eat ½ a pizza in a time my friends the whole thing. Usually my meals wont exeed over 700 cals because of this.

[determined4000]

Originally Posted by Newbaylder

Well, my problem is completly the opposite than many, I have been totally underweight all my life. Its probably mostly just genetics, before I started eating like F*** (which is very hard - cant finnish a big mac meal) my BMI was about 15--- I think it has been about that for most of my life. And i have always gotten all the food I want.

I still have huge problems with my appetite, and I am kind of worried how I will survive in the army with the fast eating schelude and not so calorie dense foods... So yeah, if anyone has any advice on improving appetite I do appericate that.

And my BMI is at least over 18 now and probably if everythin goes well about 19-20 by the end of the year so at least, thats a huge improvement.

Its very strange how diffrent persons are regarding weight, some of my friends are BMI 18 and then some 30! But everyone can eat more than I do in one sitting, but they really are not in control of their diets so thats why they are so thin too.

Also this is bothering me alot cause I get that "throw up" and "diarhea" feeling pretty easily, + it do be nice to finnish a whole pizza when eating with friends- quicker the better of course. Right now its like if I am hungry I can eat ½ a pizza in a time my friends the whole thing. Usually my meals wont exeed over 700 cals because of this.

Is your problem mental or physical?
If it is only physical, you don't have an ED and just need to eat more calorie dense foods.
Things like Peanut Butter, oils, sauces, milk, cheese, oats, pasta, potatoes, or drink some high-calorie shakes.

[Newbaylder]

Originally Posted by determined4000

Is your problem mental or physical?
If it is only physical, you don't have an ED and just need to eat more calorie dense foods.
Things like Peanut Butter, oils, sauces, milk, cheese, oats, pasta, potatoes, or drink some high-calorie shakes.

It isnt mental, but it kind of does effect me mentally. I dont like eating, probably because I have to stuff myself all the time. Anyway I am now gaining weight, but I would still like to get my appetite fixed. But it might just be that its genetic - its been this way all my life. I want to be able to finish big meals in less than a day span thats all.

I dont think I have an eating disorder, but an appetite disorder.

[2481ryan]

Im not sure if you can call this an ED but i think it is and i just want help and to feel normal and not controlled by it

I binge but i dont purge or abuse laxatives or anything but i still binge and usually ide only binge on my cheat days then back to strict diet( very strict diet which could be considered part of a ED aswell very restrictive cals and so on ) but for 2 weeks i was ill and could not eat and i lost alot of weight and i needed to put on some weight after this so i started eating alot of junk about 3000 cals a day when my maintanance is 2000 cals but then anyway this has turned into a two week binge i eat about 3000 cals a day and im not lifting or doing cardio at the moment so im not bulking but i keep on having these kind of binges I DO NOT PURGE OR ABUSE LAXATIVES after it but i do feel guilty and am scared of becoming fat and i dont want to be like this i just want to be normal and learn moderation and i just want to feel normal . and i dont feel like i can stop these binges its just depressing me help please

Try help me please ??

[determined4000]

Originally Posted by 2481ryan

Im not sure if you can call this an ED but i think it is and i just want help and to feel normal and not controlled by it

I binge but i dont purge or abuse laxatives or anything but i still binge and usually ide only binge on my cheat days then back to strict diet( very strict diet which could be considered part of a ED aswell very restrictive cals and so on ) but for 2 weeks i was ill and could not eat and i lost alot of weight and i needed to put on some weight after this so i started eating alot of junk about 3000 cals a day when my maintanance is 2000 cals but then anyway this has turned into a two week binge i eat about 3000 cals a day and im not lifting or doing cardio at the moment so im not bulking but i keep on having these kind of binges I DO NOT PURGE OR ABUSE LAXATIVES after it but i do feel guilty and am scared of becoming fat and i dont want to be like this i just want to be normal and learn moderation and i just want to feel normal . and i dont feel like i can stop these binges its just depressing me help please

Try help me please ??

dont restirct your intake
your body is just craving the nutrients its needs
when you aren't normally allowing it to get them, it craves them and is afraid it wont get them again, so you keep on eating.

[stateless]

Originally Posted by apdunshiz

Looking for tips on how to stop this, or gradually decrease the addictiveness to food. I love eating and Cannot get enough of it. But I hate the fact that I eat so much, i gain wait, and fat.

Has anyone tried anything to help them stop binging? Or atleast decrease their binging.

I figured the best way to do so would find another "addict" to something. Such as tobacco use. But thats just crazy if you don't use it already. And if you do, then i guess your **** out of luck.

I am really looking into chewing tobacco just because I binge so ****in much and cant help myself. Anybody have a good idea, thats healthy, to stop this nonsense?

Thanks guys!

Please don't start smoking. It's a nasty habit and ma well result in misery. It will also harm your health. Have you tried doing more cardio? A fiend of mine ate all of time and really ballooned. He still eats loads but does cardio 5 times a week.

[2481ryan]

Originally Posted by determined4000

dont restirct your intake
your body is just craving the nutrients its needs
when you aren't normally allowing it to get them, it craves them and is afraid it wont get them again, so you keep on eating.

Oright thanks for advice but i dont feel like i can stop it and im really scared of getting fat and i feel like i really need help and i just want to stop these binges cause it just keeps happening and it depressing me can anyone else help me ??

[Environ]

Originally Posted by 2481ryan

Oright thanks for advice but i dont feel like i can stop it and im really scared of getting fat and i feel like i really need help and i just want to stop these binges cause it just keeps happening and it depressing me can anyone else help me ??

You have to do what's called 'mechanical eating'. That means that you know exactly what time of the day you are going to have your meals. You can ONLY eat during those times. If you are currently at a normal body weight for your height and age, then you can only eat normal sized portions. If you are underweight for your height and age, then your meals must be bigger (or at least more nutrient dense) than a normal sized portion.

I know that this sounds as if it completely flies in the face of getting over an eating disorder, where you are supposed to be free and spontaneous about food. However, at the start, you have to stabilize your eating habits and that requires mechanical eating.

[tal1990]

damn it, just damn it, after long time without binges - its back, and back in big, i just binged @ 5000 calories yesterday, then today i wake up, so my freakin huge stomach, was depressed and bigned again, i just dunno what should i do, all my stomach hearts, my heart rate went up to 120, i feel really bad, i gained weight and im ****ing depressed

[enapay]

i thought i'd pop in here and say hi. i've been lurking around bb and finally made an account.

i had an eating disorder for five years- at first it was overexercising, binging, starving, etc. then last year i began purging and everything went downhill. i had anorexia and basically almost starved myself to death last april. my doctor told me to lift weights to build back my muscles, but i do it now because i love it.

i've been through it all- many behaviors, hypermetabolism, health consequences, the horrible feelings of obsession and guilt, etc. so i really understand where you're all coming from.

anyway, it's nice to see an active sticky about this. having support when you suffer from an ED is invaluable.

[vivalavelo]

Originally Posted by tal1990

damn it, just damn it, after long time without binges - its back, and back in big, i just binged @ 5000 calories yesterday, then today i wake up, so my freakin huge stomach, was depressed and bigned again, i just dunno what should i do, all my stomach hearts, my heart rate went up to 120, i feel really bad, i gained weight and im ****ing depressed

Hey bro, I've been there. Its a cycle and it comes down to will power and understanding that you can overcome it as you have before. You said you were doing fine for some time then this happened. What I've found what works for me it to step back and look at my diet and work out schedule. I've learned that for me, binging is most likely to occur when I restrict calories for weight loss and maintain a regular gym schedule (5days/week).
Just don't get too down on yourself, bro, and don't think about it too much either, otherwise it may work against you. Take a walk or go do something else away from a food source. Anyway, hang in there.

[Alyion]

Originally Posted by tal1990

damn it, just damn it, after long time without binges - its back, and back in big, i just binged @ 5000 calories yesterday, then today i wake up, so my freakin huge stomach, was depressed and bigned again, i just dunno what should i do, all my stomach hearts, my heart rate went up to 120, i feel really bad, i gained weight and im ****ing depressed

you are probably not eating enough. I used to binge now and then and it was simply because of my calorie restriction. Over time it the low amount of food builds up like a snowball effect and your body will do anything it can to get nutrients and will amount to a binge