I need motivation and tips to change my life?

[rubbertoe20]

Tired of how I am living, I am 20 and feel I am wasting my life. Sooner or later I am going to get old and realize I haven't done ****.

Pros:
-I am nice...could be con though.
-Know lots of people, supposedly I am well respected around here, which is weird.

Cons: (here we go)
-Virgin
--never kissed or even hugged

-Below average looks, bordering ugly
--bad skin; some acne scars, clogged pores, red, greasy, bumpy
--bad hair, dry, dandruff. Have no idea what kind of hairstyle to get, feel nothing looks right.
--toe nail fungus
--big head, skinny body.
--super hairy legs
--thick hairy eyebrows

-Clothing
--no style
--have no idea how to dress, nothing looks right on me, even the "cool" stuff.

-Social Anxiety
--Shy and feel awkward when outside with lots of people

-Education
--Use to be considered smart, on the honor roll, AP classes
--Feel dumb now, can't seem to learn anything as easily as before
--Going to a community college
--Been a 3 year freshman, and every semester I drop out of classes because of procrastinating

-Other
--Big time procrastinator
--Have no idea what I want to major in
--Waste too much time, browsing the internet or being non-productive.
--Can't drive

My Life:
-MON WED FRI: wake up at 6, go to ONE class at community college from 8-9am. Get home, browse message boards, and watch TV or other useless stuff until 5pm, go to the park and play soccer with a bunch of friends until 8, get home, watch tv, go to sleep.

-TUES THURS: wake up at 6, get ready to go to work, dirty job, so I dress crappy and take public transportation, feel embarrassed because I look like a homeless even though I am not. Work from 8-5, get home, shower and do nothing again.

-WEEKENDS: dont do shiit besides play a soccer game, and that's basically the highlight of my weekend.

CLIFFS:
-Low life, looking for tips or motivation to change his life.
-If you guys could give me advice in any category I will rep (don't have much power though, I even fail online)

[BintoPeans]

It sounds like you already know what you need to do. Work hard in school and get that finished up. Get a job doing something you are passionate about. Work hard at it. Don't sweat the cons right now even though I am sure most of the misc will focus on them. Things will start falling into place. Just work hard at everything you do.

[iWr3k]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

Tired of how I am living, I am 20 and feel I am wasting my life. Sooner or later I am going to get old and realize I haven't done ****.

Pros:
-I am nice...could be con though.
-Know lots of people, supposedly I am well respected around here, which is weird.

Cons: (here we go)
-Virgin that can change real fast
--never kissed or even hugged find a girl

-Below average looks, bordering ugly
--bad skin; some acne scars, clogged pores, red, greasy, bumpy hygene is important go buy acne wash
--bad hair, dry, dandruff. Have no idea what kind of hairstyle to get, feel nothing looks right. start using conditioner, spend a little money or your head
--toe nail fungus go to a pharmacy they can give u something
--big head, skinny body. start working out so your head matches your body
--super hairy legs wax
--thick hairy eyebrows same problem here, hasn't stopped me from having a gf or getting laid

-Clothing
--no style find what makes u feel comfortable
--have no idea how to dress, nothing looks right on me, even the "cool" stuff.

-Social Anxiety
--Shy and feel awkward when outside with lots of people start putting yourself more in those kinds of situations

-Education
--Use to be considered smart, on the honor roll, AP classes what happened?
--Feel dumb now, can't seem to learn anything as easily as before your not trying hard enough
--Going to a community college nothing wrong with that
--Been a 3 year freshman, and every semester I drop out of classes because of procrastinating stop that

-Other
--Big time procrastinator change that before it consumes your life
--Have no idea what I want to major in find out what makes u happy
--Waste too much time, browsing the internet or being non-productive. learn while you browse the internet
--Can't drive

My Life:
-MON WED FRI: wake up at 6, go to ONE class at community college from 8-9am. Get home, browse message boards, and watch TV or other useless stuff until 5pm, go to the park and play soccer with a bunch of friends until 8, get home, watch tv, go to sleep.

-TUES THURS: wake up at 6, get ready to go to work, dirty job, so I dress crappy and take public transportation, feel embarrassed because I look like a homeless even though I am not. Work from 8-5, get home, shower and do nothing again.

-WEEKENDS: dont do shiit besides play a soccer game, and that's basically the highlight of my weekend.

CLIFFS:
-Low life, looking for tips or motivation to change his life.
-If you guys could give me advice in any category I will rep (don't have much power though, I even fail online)

find a better job, save meoney, buy a car learn how to drive it.

change comes with motivation, motivating yourself to change will be the biggest reward in your life, but it has to be you who motivates yourself.

[OG_Philosoraptor]

[Ganderson2]

[CanadianBeaver]

Just try to fix everything you see as a problem OP. It takes time but time will pass anyway.

And to the guy above me- Waxing legs, wtf? No OP don't wax your legs.

[ducksfan2006]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

Tired of how I am living, I am 20 and feel I am wasting my life. Sooner or later I am going to get old and realize I haven't done ****.

Pros:
-I am nice...could be con though.
-Know lots of people, supposedly I am well respected around here, which is weird.

Cons: (here we go)
-Virgin
--never kissed or even hugged

-Below average looks, bordering ugly
--bad skin; some acne scars, clogged pores, red, greasy, bumpy
--bad hair, dry, dandruff. Have no idea what kind of hairstyle to get, feel nothing looks right.
--toe nail fungus
--big head, skinny body.
--super hairy legs
--thick hairy eyebrows

-Clothing
--no style
--have no idea how to dress, nothing looks right on me, even the "cool" stuff.

-Social Anxiety
--Shy and feel awkward when outside with lots of people

-Education
--Use to be considered smart, on the honor roll, AP classes
--Feel dumb now, can't seem to learn anything as easily as before
--Going to a community college
--Been a 3 year freshman, and every semester I drop out of classes because of procrastinating

-Other
--Big time procrastinator
--Have no idea what I want to major in
--Waste too much time, browsing the internet or being non-productive.
--Can't drive

My Life:
-MON WED FRI: wake up at 6, go to ONE class at community college from 8-9am. Get home, browse message boards, and watch TV or other useless stuff until 5pm, go to the park and play soccer with a bunch of friends until 8, get home, watch tv, go to sleep.

-TUES THURS: wake up at 6, get ready to go to work, dirty job, so I dress crappy and take public transportation, feel embarrassed because I look like a homeless even though I am not. Work from 8-5, get home, shower and do nothing again.

-WEEKENDS: dont do shiit besides play a soccer game, and that's basically the highlight of my weekend.

CLIFFS:
-Low life, looking for tips or motivation to change his life.
-If you guys could give me advice in any category I will rep (don't have much power though, I even fail online)

Turn to PUA community.

[rubbertoe20]

Originally Posted by iWr3k

find a better job, save meoney, buy a car learn how to drive it.

change comes with motivation, motivating yourself to change will be the biggest reward in your life, but it has to be you who motivates yourself.

Thanks bro, you actually gave me advice on almost everything. All things I could do, it's just I am not even motivated enough to even go to a store or pharmacy to look for clothes or neccessary hygene needs.

[ducksfan2006]

Originally Posted by OG_Philosoraptor

Originally Posted by Ganderson2

these.

[rubbertoe20]

Originally Posted by CanadianBeaver

Just try to fix everything you see as a problem OP. It takes time but time will pass anyway.

And to the guy above me- Waxing legs, wtf? No OP don't wax your legs.

HAHAH yeah, my legs are hairy as hell, I have even been called Osama, but I always thought shaving my legs would be homo.

[CanadianBeaver]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

HAHAH yeah, my legs are hairy as hell, I have even been called Osama, but I always thought shaving my legs would be homo.

My legs are phucking hairy too and I'm only 18. I might consider trimming them but having them completely shaved/waxed...

[ducksfan2006]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

Tired of how I am living, I am 20 and feel I am wasting my life. Sooner or later I am going to get old and realize I haven't done ****.

Pros:
-I am nice...could be con though.
-Know lots of people, supposedly I am well respected around here, which is weird.

Cons: (here we go)
-Virgin
--never kissed or even hugged

-Below average looks, bordering ugly
--bad skin; some acne scars, clogged pores, red, greasy, bumpy
--bad hair, dry, dandruff. Have no idea what kind of hairstyle to get, feel nothing looks right.
--toe nail fungus
--big head, skinny body.
--super hairy legs
--thick hairy eyebrows

-Clothing
--no style
--have no idea how to dress, nothing looks right on me, even the "cool" stuff.

-Social Anxiety
--Shy and feel awkward when outside with lots of people

-Education
--Use to be considered smart, on the honor roll, AP classes
--Feel dumb now, can't seem to learn anything as easily as before
--Going to a community college
--Been a 3 year freshman, and every semester I drop out of classes because of procrastinating

-Other
--Big time procrastinator
--Have no idea what I want to major in
--Waste too much time, browsing the internet or being non-productive.
--Can't drive

My Life:
-MON WED FRI: wake up at 6, go to ONE class at community college from 8-9am. Get home, browse message boards, and watch TV or other useless stuff until 5pm, go to the park and play soccer with a bunch of friends until 8, get home, watch tv, go to sleep.

-TUES THURS: wake up at 6, get ready to go to work, dirty job, so I dress crappy and take public transportation, feel embarrassed because I look like a homeless even though I am not. Work from 8-5, get home, shower and do nothing again.

-WEEKENDS: dont do shiit besides play a soccer game, and that's basically the highlight of my weekend.

CLIFFS:
-Low life, looking for tips or motivation to change his life.
-If you guys could give me advice in any category I will rep (don't have much power though, I even fail online)

Seriously, take my advice and read "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

[iWr3k]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

Thanks bro, you actually gave me advice on almost everything. All things I could do, it's just I am not even motivated enough to even go to a store or pharmacy to look for clothes or neccessary hygene needs.

just get up and go, seriously you wont ever regret a positive change in your life. Most negative changes in your life always lead to a positive change so dont be afraid to make a change in your life.

do it now that your young (yes aware im 21)

[elementskaterx7]

Originally Posted by ducksfan2006

Seriously, take my advice and read "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

THANKS! I've been trying to remember that book for the longest time! Reps upon recharge!

[rubbertoe20]

Originally Posted by ducksfan2006

Seriously, take my advice and read "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

I have to get the rest of my shiit together before I even begin trying to pick-up chicks, although my parents philosophy is the other way around, once I get a girl, everything else will come into place..WTF.

[Havawk]

In these posts, normally people tend to make a bigger deal out of their **** than it actually is.......but, in your case, you actually do suck. Stop being a pussy, man the **** up and get **** done.

[LiverrLipss]

Seriously go out and buy a planner. Sit down every night for at least 10 minutes and write down everything you wanna do the next day. Like schoolwork, working out, etc.

I just started doing this and I have to say holy sh!t it has helped me so much, and the feeling you get looking at a sheet of goals with check marks next to them ...........























FEELS GOOD MAN

[SpikedDiesel]

What's your major?

Here is some advice that I will give you, because I wish someone had given it to me when I was your age.

You are already in CC. That's good. I wish I would have started there for my basics. Get your basic english/history/algebra/science general classes knocked out with a 4.0. These should be relatively easy for you if you "used to be smart." Just apply yourself, and get it done.

While in CC, maintain your GPA in the easy basics, and get into that academic fraternity...theta something, I can't remember. This is your goal, to keep you motivated.

You should also set a goal to meet new people. Quality people, though brah. Look around campus, starting with a general advisor, for a worthwhile charity organization to volunteer with. You should easily be able to put 5-10 hours a week into some sort of volunteer program that will look good on a college application/resume. In addition, this will expose you to some people with interests the same as yours. Pick something that you can really be excited about, whether it be an animal shelter, church group, special olympics, big brother mentor for less fortunate kids (teach them to play soccer) or whatever. There's a million things out there that you can be a part of that are great worthwhile causes.

Start a binder to hold your certificates of accomplishments, and start filling it up. Everything you receive that has any kind of recognition for service or an accomplishment goes into that binder. Keep it organized, and keep it filling up. You will begin to feel good about everything you receive and it will help keep you motivated. Not only that, but you will be able to list these on your college application/resume.

During this time, you should be getting an idea what you want to major in at a 4 year university, or, if you rather, a votech degree, if it better suits you. Don't think that technical school is a bad path. Good incomes can come from a technical degree.

Devote at least 5 hours a week to the gym. Get your nutrition straight as well. While you feed your mind, you should also feed your body. Think of it like this. Your body is simply transportation for your brain. You need it to be in as good as shape as possible to most effectively take you places where you want to go for the longest time possible.

This is a pretty good start. Make some goals brah. At the same time, start checking into scholarships. There are hundreds of programs that offer scholarships, and all you need to do is write something out to apply for them. Look at the ones that line up with your interests.

For brownie points, learn a second language, and learn how to play an instrument. These can be time consuming, but rewarding. I wish I had done one or both. It's not too late, and I'm probably going to still do this, but I will tell you, these extracurricular items get more and more difficult as you get older. It's the time vs responsibility factor. One day you will be doing things because you "have to," not so much because you "want to."

Hope this helps, bro. Good luck Dave man.

Edit: As for the girl thing: If you do the above, and stick to it, your confidence will go up. You will look better, feel better, and people will notice this. Girls find guys attractive that have their proverbial **** together and working towards something. Sooner or later, a hottie will find you. And you won't even have to work at that.

[thorton]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

Tired of how I am living, I am 20 and feel I am wasting my life. Sooner or later I am going to get old and realize I haven't done ****.

Pros:
-I am nice...could be con though.
-Know lots of people, supposedly I am well respected around here, which is weird.

Cons: (here we go)
-Virgin --- Easy to fix
--never kissed or even hugged --- Easy to fix, find a girl

-Below average looks, bordering ugly
--bad skin; some acne scars, clogged pores, red, greasy, bumpy - Stop eating greast food, stop touching your face, wash your face 4-5 times a day, get some cream, Make sure to work out/get cardio to clear your pores ect
--bad hair, dry, dandruff. Have no idea what kind of hairstyle to get, feel nothing looks right. - Get conditioner, buzz your hair for a bit, use the conditioner till your scalp looks better, get a haircut, they all look weird till you get use to it
--toe nail fungus - Make sure to get good dry shoes and clean socks, get cream from the pharmacy
--big head, skinny body. Do a bulk, its a BB site FFS
--super hairy legs Wax them, or get tanned so it won't matter
--thick hairy eyebrows - Get them trimmed if your that insecure, but your a man, its a bitch move

-Clothing
--no style - Dress clean till you put some weight on
--have no idea how to dress, nothing looks right on me, even the "cool" stuff. See above

-Social Anxiety
--Shy and feel awkward when outside with lots of people-- Start a process, for week one start a convo with one person a day you've never talked too, week two do it with two people, week 3 try to keep the convo's going for more than 5minutes. Its a bitch but it'll work.

-Education
--Use to be considered smart, on the honor roll, AP classes
--Feel dumb now, can't seem to learn anything as easily as before
--Going to a community college
--Been a 3 year freshman, and every semester I drop out of classes because of procrastinating

Quit being a lazy ****er and realise you only have one life. Look at your first paragraph, do you want to be that old guy? This is pure willpower, grab your balls and be a man finally.


-Other
--Big time procrastinator - Be a man
--Have no idea what I want to major in - Finish a few classes, might help (see be a man)
--Waste too much time, browsing the internet or being non-productive. Will power, stop being a bitch
--Can't drive - Get your licence? This is not really that hard

My Life:
-MON WED FRI: wake up at 6, go to ONE class at community college from 8-9am. Get home, browse message boards, and watch TV or other useless stuff until 5pm, go to the park and play soccer with a bunch of friends until 8, get home, watch tv, go to sleep.

-TUES THURS: wake up at 6, get ready to go to work, dirty job, so I dress crappy and take public transportation, feel embarrassed because I look like a homeless even though I am not. Work from 8-5, get home, shower and do nothing again.

-WEEKENDS: dont do shiit besides play a soccer game, and that's basically the highlight of my weekend.

CLIFFS:
-Low life, looking for tips or motivation to change his life.
-If you guys could give me advice in any category I will rep (don't have much power though, I even fail online)

I use to be 465 pounds and at the lowpoint of my life playing WoW in my parents basement with no education. I'm now 300 pounds, still having sex, almost done a 4 year diploma and pretty much having the time of my life at parties/clubs ect.

The only thing I did different was realize that no one was going to give me my life. I had to grab my balls, pull myself up and get the **** I wanted to get. Stop expecting **** to actually happen, you make it happen yourself.

[rubbertoe20]

Originally Posted by LiverrLipss

Seriously go out and buy a planner. Sit down every night for at least 10 minutes and write down everything you wanna do the next day. Like schoolwork, working out, etc.

I just started doing this and I have to say holy sh!t it has helped me so much, and the feeling you get looking at a sheet of goals with check marks next to them ...........























FEELS GOOD MAN

Tried doing that, did a couple things on the list, haven't done the rest. I'll give it another try, by checking off the things on this list I just created. Also everyone calling me a pusssy...feels good, thanks for the motivation to man up and get my shiit straight.

[EllusioN]

[bclark22]

why are you on a bodybuilding forum? O_o


but seriously, plan stuff out, get a job, go to the gym, trim your hair/body hair, use a shampoo like head and shoulders, do things that will boost your confidence!

[thorton]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

Tried doing that, did a couple things on the list, haven't done the rest. I'll give it another try, by checking off the things on this list I just created. Also everyone calling me a pusssy...feels good, thanks for the motivation to man up and get my shiit straight.

You have had people baby you all your life I take it havn't you? Sometimes you need to realize you are being pussy before you change. Like I said, stop expecting people to coddle you going "awww it'll be ok..don't be sad..../pat on the head".

Grow a pair and get your **** together.

[rubbertoe20]

Originally Posted by bclark22

why are you on a bodybuilding forum? O_o


but seriously, plan stuff out, get a job, go to the gym, trim your hair/body hair, use a shampoo like head and shoulders, do things that will boost your confidence!

To get bigger...but yeah I am really low on confidence right now, I just have to take action to boost my confidence.

[bclark22]

Originally Posted by rubbertoe20

To get bigger...but yeah I am really low on confidence right now, I just have to take action to boost my confidence.

no where in your daily routine did I see you go to the gym, which is a big confidence boost in itself.

if you don't like your looks, change them. that simple. get out and go places, make friends, challenge yourself...1 class and no work, you might as well just curl up in a ball in your house and never come out. make some money and stay busy

[rubbertoe20]

Originally Posted by bclark22

no where in your daily routine did I see you go to the gym, which is a big confidence boost in itself.

if you don't like your looks, change them. that simple. get out and go places, make friends, challenge yourself...1 class and no work, you might as well just curl up in a ball in your house and never come out. make some money and stay busy

I have a home gym, lately I haven't used it though, been sick for a 2 weeks.

[fishpat86]

Only joking, I'd say from the way your feeling now should be motivation to sort yourself out.

[_Ishy]

Which country do you live in? It's not hard to be stylish actually. Do you have a sister that can help "dress" you? Like I mean you can go shopping with her and get some stylish clothing.

Just hit up a nice clothing store.. if you're from Canada I'd recommend these: Guess, FCUK, American Eagle, Hollister, Abrecrombie, Mexx.. Those american brands aren't my style, but some style is better than no style. I'd recommend going in to Guess.. ask the sales associate for help if you have someone else with you to be the voice of reason (be warned the sales girls don't give a **** about you and just want you to buy stuff, but they do know what looks good). Just buy 1-2 pairs of nice fitting dark denims, then 3-4 nice t-shirts and 1-2 jacket/cardigan type things. You're set for a a bunch of different outfits now.

Post a picture of yourself in casual wear for better advice.

[ivoryce]

OP, sounds like u are suffering from depression and low self-esteem. I might get disapproving responses from some on this board but antidepressants might be an option for you. Unfortunately, what happens when you become depressed, your actions and thoughts manifest in a way that your brain actually produces less and less neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine - essential for feeling good and getting movitated. It's a vicious cycle because, when you start feeling depressed, if you don't do things to counteract the decrease in these neurotransmitters by exercising and doing things that make you happy, these levels continue to drop, making it even more less likely you'll do anything for yourself.

If you are against antidepressants, some natural ways to increase your mood and motivation is to get to a gym or exercise outdoors. Getting enough exercise will increase your mood, and if you are consistent with this, eventually your thoughts will begin getting more positive and will be reflected in the work you do - school work for one, and this has a domino effect - the more good u do and feel in the things u participate in, the more you'll attempt to do, creating the cycle of potential for feeling good in your favor.

What u r eating as a huge impact on how you feel as well. I'd recommend that you ignore how down you're feeling and focus on yourself in spite of this for a couple weeks. Eat well - if you aren't sure how, ask on the forums and people will support you in this, drink enough water (energy levels are affected by not drinking enough water and can start that negative cycle I mentioned above) - try for 12 8-oz cups a day, exercise in a way that isn't going to exhaust u because right now ur simply trying to get your mood stabilized and being tired will lead to being unmotivated and will halt your endeavors in this... But, make sure you get daily exercise - like putting in your ipod and taking an hr long walk somewhere, clean up ur place... might sound funny but for me my place is a good indicator of where my mood has been at; when i'm feeling down my dishes don't get done. When I clean up, I feel more motivated to tackle other things. Start socializing more with good and trusted friends... socializing helps to boost mood and will help you create that positive cycle. And I would recommend trying to see a counsellor at your local college... Our university has fantastic counsellors that will counsel you even after you're no longer a student (free!).. Set reasonable goals that you can meet, to bolster your self-esteem and sense of achievement - totally necessary in creating that positive cycle,

And one other thing you can do for yourself is, "fake it until you make it," give yourself positive feedback and replace negative thinking with a positive thought, eventually these things will help transform your thinking patterns into more positive, appropriate thoughts that will serve you in a way you deserve.

[rubbertoe20]

Originally Posted by _Ishy

Which country do you live in? It's not hard to be stylish actually. Do you have a sister that can help "dress" you? Like I mean you can go shopping with her and get some stylish clothing.

Just hit up a nice clothing store.. if you're from Canada I'd recommend these: Guess, FCUK, American Eagle, Hollister, Abrecrombie, Mexx.. Those american brands aren't my style, but some style is better than no style. I'd recommend going in to Guess.. ask the sales associate for help if you have someone else with you to be the voice of reason (be warned the sales girls don't give a **** about you and just want you to buy stuff, but they do know what looks good). Just buy 1-2 pairs of nice fitting dark denims, then 3-4 nice t-shirts and 1-2 jacket/cardigan type things. You're set for a a bunch of different outfits now.

Post a picture of yourself in casual wear for better advice.

I am hispanic but I am residing here in the USA. Guess, American Eagle, etc. seems like something I can't imagine myself wearing. I usually just slap on some jeans with a plain shirt, and nike shoes. Just that, plain.

And about the suicide joke, ahahah, never would consider it. Like I said I have a shiitload of friends and stuff, I just feel like the loser of the bunch.