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09-21-2006, 11:08 AM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2005
Age: 25
Posts: 771
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 63
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How in the hell do you use those toilet-seat-protector things
Everytime I go to take a crap in a public restroom I attempt to use one of them but never succeed. I put it on the seat and punch out the middle portion but it ALWAYS ends up falling into the toilet.
The last time this happened I was at Barnes and Noble shopping for a book, and I had to take a crap. So I go into the bathroom, pull one of the butt-shields out of the holster and put it on the seat, part of it falls into the toilet, So I attempt to tear that part off and leave it in the toilet, but in the process, the whole thing falls in. So I just get mad and push the whole thing into the toilet and proceed with my dump. Well they have those water-saver toilets where the water level is low and the poop doesnt actually hit the water. Long story short, I crapped and it landed on the toilet-seat-protector thing, and I get up and try to flush and the seat protector was acting like a water shield. It looked like my turd was water skiing. I flushed the toilet like 9 times to no avail. There's probably some employee in there now still trying to get the thing to go down.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO USE THESE THINGS.
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09-21-2006, 11:13 AM
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#2
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Banned
Join Date: May 2006
Age: 39
Posts: 1,982
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Those are supposed to go around your neck. DUH!
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09-21-2006, 11:17 AM
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#3
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In the clinch
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: California, United States
Age: 21
Posts: 8,184
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 20949
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Take 3, tear out the holes of all of them. Lay them on the toilet seat. Dude it isnt that hard.
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09-21-2006, 11:18 AM
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#4
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Banned
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Bay Area, Cali
Age: 30
Stats: 5'6", 158 lbs
Posts: 1,392
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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sit on it first and then punch out the hole...?
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09-21-2006, 11:21 AM
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#5
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BAAAAA
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 7,784
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 19414
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they don't have them in the public toilets in Ottawa 
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09-21-2006, 11:22 AM
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#6
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Banned
Join Date: May 2006
Age: 39
Posts: 1,982
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In some places in Turkey they don't have toilets. Just stalls with holes in the ground. Eewwww, I laughed when I saw places like that.
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09-21-2006, 11:26 AM
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#7
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I'll take the Ape Tit one
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Texas
Age: 29
Posts: 746
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Well, the toilets are supposed to have enough water and those Paper Ass Gaskets are supposed to be almost like toilet paper when they hit the water. You were doing it right, it was just the toilets fault. I think they should have a thing of sanitizer in each stall so you can wipe the seat off with that...
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09-21-2006, 11:28 AM
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#8
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2005
Age: 25
Posts: 771
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 63
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Turd Ferguson
Well, the toilets are supposed to have enough water and those Paper Ass Gaskets are supposed to be almost like toilet paper when they hit the water. You were doing it right, it was just the toilets fault. I think they should have a thing of sanitizer in each stall so you can wipe the seat off with that...
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wow good idea w/ the sanitizer
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09-21-2006, 11:56 AM
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2005
Stats: 6'2", 200 lbs
Posts: 15,462
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 31410
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Quatchkopf
In some places in Turkey they don't have toilets. Just stalls with holes in the ground. Eewwww, I laughed when I saw places like that.
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You'd be surprised as to how many countries have toilets that are holes in the ground. It's good for your legs since you gotta squat to take a dump. Knees hurt when you stand up.
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09-21-2006, 12:07 PM
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#10
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Gone Spacedockin'
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Burbank/Los Angeles CA
Posts: 1,257
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God bless ass gaskets
__________________
Age:22-Height: 6'5"-Weight: 230- Bulking - Bf%:no idea
Don't be weak.
"I like swiss cheese. It's the only cheese you can draw with a pencil and identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!" I got some swiss air on that bite." -Mitch Hedberg
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10-09-2009, 12:02 AM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: West Virginia, United States
Stats: 5'11", 187 lbs
Posts: 518
BodyPoints: 6481
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Semtex
Take 3, tear out the holes of all of them. Lay them on the toilet seat. Dude it isnt that hard.
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That's what I've always done, however I only use one. You're right it's not that hard!
__________________
There is no alternative to keeping fit. Why risk poor health and possibly an early grave?
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10-09-2009, 12:07 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Texas, United States
Age: 19
Stats: 5'8", 160 lbs
Posts: 874
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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don't take dumps in public.. thats what i do brah..
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10-09-2009, 12:09 AM
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 324
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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dont punch the middle out, just **** on it.
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10-09-2009, 12:09 AM
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Beaverton, Oregon, United States
Age: 21
Stats: 6'2", 245 lbs
Posts: 1,960
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 4365
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thorherc67
don't take dumps in public.. thats what i do brah..
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buncha pussys
myth busters did a test those things dont work...not even a little bit and toilet seats r clean believe it or not
__________________
get big or die trying
i Survived 10-16-09
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10-09-2009, 12:11 AM
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#15
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nah bitch nah!
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Gresham, Oregon, United States
Age: 22
Stats: 5'10", 163 lbs
Posts: 3,409
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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wtf brah that was u?
took me my whole shift the clean that up and unclog
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10-09-2009, 12:12 AM
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#16
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California, United States
Age: 22
Stats: 5'9"
Posts: 1,025
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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you DONT punch out the center, lulz
the weight of your **** will sink it down perfectly
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I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees
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10-09-2009, 12:14 AM
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#17
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OG of JediMindTricks
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: California, United States
Age: 20
Stats: 5'11", 168 lbs
Posts: 1,341
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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My dump always snags it and drags it right into Davey Jones locker, right out from under my pale ass
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♦ CALLOUS CREW ♦
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