Breaking Free.....for Me! :) - Page 36

rubes00 · 09-29-2009, 12:46 AM

Cardio before work... FTW

Angela R · 09-29-2009, 05:10 AM

Oh yay! I have a House Tivo'd to watch tonight! How was it?

I feel so bad for you watching your dad in pain and being so helpless. That is truly the worst. Dad's are supposed to be super hero's.....

Your workout looks solid and strong! 55# skull crushers....yikes!!

Have a fantastic day, Tara.

kimm4 · 09-29-2009, 06:09 AM

Oh Tara, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope he feels better soon. Your workouts are looking great, stay focused.

twinnett · 09-29-2009, 05:41 PM

Hello everybody. It IS hard to see my dad in pain. He truly is like a superhero. He is the best man I know...the one I measure all others against (and they usually can't measure up!)

I did a leg workout after school today. We had after school band and it is definitely fall...cold, windy, rainy..I love the crisper air though!

PREACHER CURLS(standing): warmups (25, 35,45#) working set @55#...I am trying out this rest/pause method where you do as many as you can, rest for about 15-20 seconds, do as many as you can again, rest 20 sec. and do one more set....it's pretty tough. I did 12/6/5

1 ARM ALT. DB CURLS: warmups: 15s, 20s, 25s...working set w/ 30s for 6/4/4, then dropped to 20s for 10 and 15s for 10

STANDING CALF RAISES: warmup w/ 60 and 80, then a working set @140#, for 8 reps, a LONG, deep stretch, then a few more reps (this hurts so bad!), then I did 120# for the same scheme

LEG PRESS: 180, 270, 360# warmup...630# for 10/6/6, then 360 for 15 reps and 180 for 20

LEG EXTENSIONS( plate loaded): 120#x12 for 2 sets, then 90# until I burned out w/ some holds

CLOSE LEG PRESS: 320# x30

FOOD: I didn't really count calories today

1: oats, whey, egg whites, almond butter, coffee w/ skim milk
2: apple slices, lettuce, chicken, ff ranch
prewo: pure protein drink
3: brown rice tortilla, egg whites, low fat cheese, lettuce, onions
4: whey, almond butter

twinnett · 09-30-2009, 07:26 PM

I am so devastated...the bodybuilder that has been helping me out with training died on Sunday. We worked out together in the morning. I don't know what happened. I had really gotten close to him. He was only 35. I am so so sad...and my dad is going back to the Cleveland Clinic tonight.....I am really not handling things well right now..

HappySnowBunny · 09-30-2009, 08:04 PM

oh wow...I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could say...but i'm here if you need to talk.

vanillabn · 09-30-2009, 08:04 PM

Oh wow Tara... I'm so so sorry to hear what happened! That is so tragic - I don't even know what to say-- you're in my prayers!

njg13 · 09-30-2009, 10:25 PM

Tara, I am so sorry to hear this! You've been doing so well! Please try to keep your spirits up as much as possible. Take care of yourself! We are here for you girl!

Buffycat3 · 10-01-2009, 02:08 AM

OMG!! Tara! How Awful!
I am speechless....but I want to offer my sadness, and many many heartfelt prayers to the family of your friend.
And Big Prayers to you Dad.

twinnett · 10-01-2009, 06:09 AM

We're off to the clinic for more testing....I think things will be ok, but I hate seeing dad sick and my parents are very poor

I found out that my friend actually took his own life...very sad..I had no idea. I could have been the last one to see him. I wish I could have helped

Miranda · 10-01-2009, 06:16 AM

...

twinnett · 10-03-2009, 08:09 PM

Well, Dad is improving...he's up at the Cleveland Clinic again, but he's coming home tomorrow I hope. He's feeling a lot better, so that's a big relief

I went to a bodybuilding show today and happened to see Joan and her husband, so I had people to sit with, which was nice. I was sad at how small the female bodybuilding has become...I wish more women would want to get into it...I really want to compete one day

So...for some more big news...for those of you who have been long time followers of my trials and tribulations, you know that I've struggled with marriage stuff..well I finally sucked it up and told Drew how I really feel....he took it well and we're going to get a friendly (or as much as possible) divorce. I know it's the right decision b/c I feel so much lighter and optimistic and hopeful...I love him, but I don't love him like a husband and that's not fair to either of us..we're going to clear out the house, work on fixing it up to sell and I'm going to move back with either mom and dad or my friend for awhile...

**Emma-Leigh** · 10-03-2009, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinnett

Well, Dad is improving...he's up at the Cleveland Clinic again, but he's coming home tomorrow I hope. He's feeling a lot better, so that's a big relief

I went to a bodybuilding show today and happened to see Joan and her husband, so I had people to sit with, which was nice. I was sad at how small the female bodybuilding has become...I wish more women would want to get into it...I really want to compete one day

So...for some more big news...for those of you who have been long time followers of my trials and tribulations, you know that I've struggled with marriage stuff..well I finally sucked it up and told Drew how I really feel....he took it well and we're going to get a friendly (or as much as possible) divorce. I know it's the right decision b/c I feel so much lighter and optimistic and hopeful...I love him, but I don't love him like a husband and that's not fair to either of us..we're going to clear out the house, work on fixing it up to sell and I'm going to move back with either mom and dad or my friend for awhile...

Oh my gosh muscles.....

I am so sorry to hear that you and drew are going to be splitting.... but I am also so, so proud of you... SO very proud.

You have done an amazing amount of growth in these last few months - emotionally and mentally... I know you know this < you feel it too.... you are wiser and more centered....

Everyone is going to know you are making the right decision for your future, as well as Drew's.

Additionally - selling that big old house is also going to be such a financial weight off your shoulders too.... And with the current economic ick, this is going to be so good for you too...

Be well my bestest Tara.... And keep fighting...

Miranda · 10-03-2009, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinnett

So...for some more big news...for those of you who have been long time followers of my trials and tribulations, you know that I've struggled with marriage stuff..well I finally sucked it up and told Drew how I really feel....he took it well and we're going to get a friendly (or as much as possible) divorce. I know it's the right decision b/c I feel so much lighter and optimistic and hopeful...I love him, but I don't love him like a husband and that's not fair to either of us..we're going to clear out the house, work on fixing it up to sell and I'm going to move back with either mom and dad or my friend for awhile...

HappySnowBunny · 10-03-2009, 08:44 PM

Tara, you are the bravest person! I'm sorry you and Drew are splitting, but you did what you needed to, and in the right way. I can only imagine how relieved you must feel.

Really good news about your dad! So glad to hear he's doing better.

mizone · 10-03-2009, 10:14 PM

Very proud and happy for you Tara

moisy · 10-04-2009, 06:34 AM

I had to pop in and respond to your last post ... I am truly sorry about what you will be going through ... it is never an easy thing going through a divorce ... however I am happy for you because you will finally be at peace and be happy

You are a strong woman and will come out on top even stronger for having made this decision - I think you did the right thing

Buffycat3 · 10-04-2009, 06:51 AM

Tara....It was AWESOME to see you!!
I agree that it is sad about how small the female bber's group has become.
Well...maybe by the time WE are ready to compete, there will be more women, right?

(I didn't eat my tuna and grn beans...Randy was hungry also *slaps head* forgot he had to eat too...LOL....So we dined at an Applebee's)

I am very happy about your Dad doing better...You and your Family Always has my Prayers.
I pray he gets even better and Stays Well!

I am sorry and happy for you at the same time about the break-up of you and Drew's marriage.
Splitting up is never a happy thing....But with your situation, it is a good thing for the both of you to split and venture out on your own for personal freedom and growth.

Best of luck to the both of you on your new lives!

AbramsAM · 10-04-2009, 10:03 AM

Wow - Tara, so much going on in your life right now. You are very strong in handling everything - so controlled and with intention.

Take care

I'll be following along - been popping in and out because I haven't found the time to be consistant on the boards!

PorscheGal · 10-04-2009, 10:46 AM

Some tough but wise decisions Tara. Good luck!

twinnett · 10-04-2009, 05:02 PM

Well I"m glad all of you ladies have such confidence in me b/c I'm scared ****less!!! lol

I'm afraid of leaving the "safety" of marriage...yeah it might not have always been the best, but Drew's a decent guy and he loved me. I'm scared that noone else will ever love me. I know that sounds so silly, but I'm scared to be alone.

I asked Drew if he was really sure about this and he gave a resounding yes. He said that he's done and has been for awhile..that he's glad I brought it up...he's ready to move on..then proceeded to rant about his "true" feelings for my family and how much he hates them...

Sooo...I guess this is really happening..lol

I'm not sure where I"m going to live...Mom says "no way" to dogs and now I have Max back as of tonight and he is BAD!!!

I DID get to the gym today though....it was a nice break from thinking..lol

PREACHER CURLS: warmup sets then working set @55#: 10/7/5 in a rest pause fashion, then a set of 20 w/ 35#

1 ARM DB CURL: warmups then 30s: 10/6/4 rest pause and 15sx15

SUMO LEG PRESS: warmups then 650#x 10/6/4, dropped to 300#x20

LEG EXTENSIONS: 2x10: 140#

CALF RAISES: 2x8: 80# w/ a deep, long strech between reps..this hurts!

CLOSE LEG PRESS: 450#x20,270#x15 and 180#x15 drop set

20 min. cardio and 2 long dog walks...and Max is STILL hyper!

Megin · 10-04-2009, 06:03 PM

Listening, T...

Miranda · 10-04-2009, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinnett

Well I"m glad all of you ladies have such confidence in me b/c I'm scared ****less!!! lol

I'm afraid of leaving the "safety" of marriage...yeah it might not have always been the best, but Drew's a decent guy and he loved me. I'm scared that noone else will ever love me. I know that sounds so silly, but I'm scared to be alone.

it IS scary. most likely the scariest thing you'll ever do.
your 3rd marriage will be a lot easier

the first step is the hardest. which isn't to say there won't be more steps - some of them backward. but they're steps nonetheless and they will lead you elsewhere. they will constitute something called 'your life'.

i'm an old broad and i've been through some hard times . . . you're welcome to PM me

ubermumma · 10-06-2009, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miranda

i'm an old broad and i've been through some hard times . . . you're welcome to PM me

i'm even older....and here for you anytime Tara, believe me it gets easier *hugs*

twinnett · 10-06-2009, 03:26 AM

Ok, so I told Drew that maybe we should try to work on things, etc and he proceeds to give me this whole list of "ultimatums"...he hates my family and basically wants to cut ourselves off from them. He doesn't want me to spend holidays with them. He says that I have to give up the cleaning job that I'm doing to help my aunt b/c it "cuts in our our time together"...it's 3 hours a week and I get paid 12 dollars an hour which isn't so bad to do some dusting.

He's even being meant to poor Max. The other night, Max had an accident and Drew screamed F*** you over and over and slammed in his cage and hurt him. How can I be with someone who would be mean to a poor defenseless puppy?

But I don't know where to go....noone wants to take in someone with 2 huge dogs, not even my parents. If I stay here, I'm gone most of the day and I hate the thought of Drew not treating Max very nicely. I may have to find a new home for him, as much as I love him

So I'm still thinking...taking solace in the gym....I rediscover my passion for it every day.

girl22 · 10-06-2009, 09:13 AM

Hey girl, sorry you are going through some very rough times... However, you have to be strong and stand up for yourself. Be very sure that this is the man that you want to be with and if you really want him back with all the ultimatums.... I am sure that there are things that he needs to work on as well in order to make it work. Marriage take 2 people to make it work, not 1. Hope that you can rationalize for yourself what it is that you really want. ...

jess1228 · 10-06-2009, 02:24 PM

I haven't posted in awhile, and I know I'm just some random chic on the Internet, but... marriage will never work for someone (Drew) who thinks that all of the problems are external. The fact that he's giving you a laundry lists of irrational things you "need" to change shows that he doesn't want to fix the marriage. Do you really want to have kids with someone who blames everything on someone else? I'm not saying people can't change, but it takes a massive desire for someone to do so, and it doesn't seem like he has it.

As for your pups, can you maybe find a "foster family" on Craigslist or something? That way you can still visit, but you can make the move to your parents'.

"Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history." ~Joan Wallach Scott

jovinni · 10-06-2009, 09:00 PM

Hey Tara, I know I don't post much but I just had to jump in here and say, what the hell?? You have posted about having struggles with your parents, but your family is by far not toxic. Or so that would be the impression given on here. The fact that Drew would make such demands on you is ridiculous and, in my humble opinion, simply showcases his lack of understanding for you or your marriage. The problems you have in your marriage are not your family. It's how you and Drew relate to each other and the respect and feelings you have for one another, no matter how slight those may currently exist. The idea that he thinks cutting off your family will make your marriage better is absurd. I hope you know this and have the courage to see this for what it is. You have the courage within you to take a stand and make the tough decisions you need to in order to put yourself first. Do not let the fear of the unknown keep you caged up like this. You owe it to yourself. Believe in yourself, LOVE yourself. Please!

Simpy · 10-07-2009, 11:22 AM

I'm not qualified to give advice, but I will lend an ear. I'm sorry you have to deal with so much all at once. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and I mean that with utmost sincerity.

Angela R · 10-07-2009, 02:26 PM

Hey Tara.

Wowie girl when it rains it pours, eh? Well the old addage is bad comes in three...so good news is you should be good for awhile!

Marriage is hard. Man is it hard! If I knew it was this hard I never would have invested. But then you throw a couple years together under your belt, a house, a few kids and what do you know you have a life together. Divorce is like death and it takes quite an emotional toll just like death.

I don't have any advice except to go see a counselor.... and a good one. Even if you and Drew don't stay married it would be good for both of you to remain friends. Pointing fingers right now won't solve anything except more guilt and bad feelings. There is enough of that for a lifetime already.

Drew has been in your life for how long. You've been through what together? Exactly, he's important and he's an important part of your life. You would like to be friends with him if nothing more. Go to counseling. Even if it is someone at your church.

We all make mistakes and say the crappiest of things to others. Especially the people closest to us.

I don't have any answers for you but I do promise you one thing...you are going to be OK