wtf is wrong w/ people

[liegelord]

I agree with the above post. However, if you read meathead's comments, he's doing those things you suggested, he sounds like a pretty dedicated trainer. I also agree with another poster, those 2 clients need to be dumped.

Some people just don't listen and if we're not flexible enough to find what motivates them, they need to get with another trainer.

One woman I worked with refused for weeks to eat better and cut out the booze. I was going to drop her and she finally got her diet under control and stopped boozing it up. She started dropping weight every week. Big surprise.

Sometimes you feel more of a babysitter than a trainer.

[Meathead.]

Originally Posted by -Ironside-

Do you make your clients pay in advance?

Yes, of course. everyone pays ahead of time and has their packages of sessions..etc
they are charged for no shows and cancels not within 24 hrs

[Meathead.]

Originally Posted by liegelord

Sometimes you feel more of a babysitter than a trainer.

i joke with some clients and say.."what am i doing.. running a daycare" lol definitely

I drain myself w/ all of them and my schedule is PACKED - i work a good 50 hrs a week

[-Ironside-]

Welp, at least your not losing money on them.

[konkapot]

I provide a different type of training, and I have had similar experiences to the OP.

People, in general, are unmotivated by anything other than IMMEDIATE gratification. We can rationalize it all day long, provide all the motivations that "should" be working, engage in self criticism and analysis, and at the end of the day the trainee/client/student has to have some type of internal motivation.

We are all afraid of "giving up" or "quitting" because WE are not "quitters." We don't want that label; give it a different label, but there ARE some times when our skills/resources as trainers are better spent elsewhere.

It's important for OUR own motivation and self worth that our clients/trainees/students are succesful.........to just bang our head against the wall of exuses is non-productive.

Early on this thread there was some implied criticism of the OP; he's frustrated because he's passionate about what he does and wants to succeed. That is to be commended.

[Pezwarrior18]

we live in a society of excess and most people are lazy. It is easier to do nothing and feel bad for yourself than it is to take action. some people will wake up, and those are the ones you should focus on.

[missfitness226]

So to add a question to this thread... what do you do when you give someone all the tools and knowledge but they don't comply... then say it didn't work?! How do you work with those people to protect your reputation?

[bigfrog]

Originally Posted by Meathead.

I am really beginning to question people..

You? Who else deals with this sh*t on a regular basis?

F***!!!!!!!!

All of us deal with it often.

[Meathead.]

Originally Posted by missfitness226

So to add a question to this thread... what do you do when you give someone all the tools and knowledge but they don't comply... then say it didn't work?! How do you work with those people to protect your reputation?

Well, in many cases the person giving what they believe to be helpful tools are indeed wrong, or the person is not truly following the plan. I am fortunate enough to have a large % of clients whom have succeeded in addition to myself following my guidelines, so when someone new comes and they fail, if they question it, I can be sure to question them, but it wouldn't happen that way because I would always feel the need to question them throughout, every single day, every session. I also like to do weekly weigh-ins, even though it isn't always about the # itself. Some gyms and trainers do an assessment every 6 weeks or so, which i find stupid because if 6 weeks of the wrong things go by, they wasted time. Even w/ beginners and people very overweight, if any muscle gain, they can still lose quite a bit of weight on the scale as their body comp. changes. So I do weekly or every 2 weeks, for weigh in and if nothing happens - we tweak something, or they are not following the guidelines properly. I want people to get to their goal, then maintain, it's much easier to maintain. I try to invest in people to not waste time, focus and give it to themselves to just complete the objective, rather spend a year trying to lose 10lbs

[missfitness226]

Originally Posted by Meathead.

Well, in many cases the person giving what they believe to be helpful tools are indeed wrong, or the person is not truly following the plan. I am fortunate enough to have a large % of clients whom have succeeded in addition to myself following my guidelines, so when someone new comes and they fail, if they question it, I can be sure to question them, but it wouldn't happen that way because I would always feel the need to question them throughout, every single day, every session. I also like to do weekly weigh-ins, even though it isn't always about the # itself. Some gyms and trainers do an assessment every 6 weeks or so, which i find stupid because if 6 weeks of the wrong things go by, they wasted time. Even w/ beginners and people very overweight, if any muscle gain, they can still lose quite a bit of weight on the scale as their body comp. changes. So I do weekly or every 2 weeks, for weigh in and if nothing happens - we tweak something, or they are not following the guidelines properly. I want people to get to their goal, then maintain, it's much easier to maintain. I try to invest in people to not waste time, focus and give it to themselves to just complete the objective, rather spend a year trying to lose 10lbs

Well, the training is on point, the mental aspect of being a female and understanding that there is a point of having TOO great of a calorie deficit is the problem. So with this one, I just don't want her to not reach her goals because she won't give it a chance. I can control to a point what happens in the gym, but the rest of the 22-23 hrs/day when they're away from me, it's all on them. I'm a firm believe if what you're doing isn't working- it's time to try something else. And her major deficit has NOT been working, and she came to me for a reason, so just gets a little frustrating sometimes when they ask for help then don't do it because of the "stigma" of less=wt loss. But TRUST ME, she's got GREAT potential so I'm NOT giving up by any means. Just wondered how others treated situations similar to mine. Again, she's got so much potential it just kind of makes me bummed I can't get her even half way there at this point. Hopefully I'll get things turned around for her soon =)

[WillGoesBoing]

This is the reason why the guy at my gym told me to not be a personal trainer when I expressed interest. Because of people like THAT.

I have tried to help my share of friends to lose weight or exercise properly but they all seem to be a bunch of whiney unmotivated b*tches who wants everything but doesn't want to put the effort and time into it.

In the end, I would say 90% of people out there will fall into that category. Most of us who are dedicated to proper nutrition and workout consistently do it out of our own will power and are self motivated to do it for ourselves.

Maybe you should ditch that "I wanna help them" mindset and just save yourself some heartache. If they listen and stay consistent great.... if they don't (which will happen a lot) then just say "whatever" and move on.

[trance__dreamer]

Originally Posted by WillGoesBoing

This is the reason why the guy at my gym told me to not be a personal trainer when I expressed interest. Because of people like THAT.

I have tried to help my share of friends to lose weight or exercise properly but they all seem to be a bunch of whiney unmotivated b*tches who wants everything but doesn't want to put the effort and time into it.

In the end, I would say 90% of people out there will fall into that category. Most of us who are dedicated to proper nutrition and workout consistently do it out of our own will power and are self motivated to do it for ourselves.

Maybe you should ditch that "I wanna help them" mindset and just save yourself some heartache. If they listen and stay consistent great.... if they don't (which will happen a lot) then just say "whatever" and move on.

/agreed. & i tried to rep you. but i just did, it says. =P

[trojandynasty]

The problem with unmotivated people is simple: Lack of emotional leverage.

On one side they will do what you say, put in the effort, and eventually get their results.

Other side is that they don't do what you say, keep their habits, and get either no results or bad results.

Now, human beings always driven by two forces: pain and pleasure. They want to avoid pain and gain pleasure. That's it.

So, in their mind, if they want to stick with their unhealthy habits, it's only because IN THE MOMENT, they see the change as more painful (it'll take too long, I'll feel deprivted, it's not convienent) and the results in their mind don't seem to be worth it.

So what do you do? You have to help them get enough leverage in their minds that NOT taking action will become the ultimate pain, at the same time just TRYING to take action towards their goals will result in pleasure. Ask them blatantly, "this is what's going on, and this is what's scientifically happening in your body. If we continue down this path, how do you think you will feel? What do you think will happen?" Let THEM TELL YOU the bad result if they stick to their ways.

Then let them truely picture the pleasure they will have with their results. All the great things to having a body of their dreams. how it will look, how it will peform, once again LET THEM TELL YOU how good it can be.

If a person is unable to gain enough leverage for them to take action, then don't even waste their time. You have very valuable knowledge as a personal trainer, and life is short. If this person cannot appreciate your help, you can easily find someone who does.

Hope this was helpful. Best of luck, brother!

[trance__dreamer]

Originally Posted by trojandynasty

The problem with unmotivated people is simple: Lack of emotional leverage.

On one side they will do what you say, put in the effort, and eventually get their results.

Other side is that they don't do what you say, keep their habits, and get either no results or bad results.

Now, human beings always driven by two forces: pain and pleasure. They want to avoid pain and gain pleasure. That's it.

So, in their mind, if they want to stick with their unhealthy habits, it's only because IN THE MOMENT, they see the change as more painful (it'll take too long, I'll feel deprivted, it's not convienent) and the results in their mind don't seem to be worth it.

So what do you do? You have to help them get enough leverage in their minds that NOT taking action will become the ultimate pain, at the same time just TRYING to take action towards their goals will result in pleasure. Ask them blatantly, "this is what's going on, and this is what's scientifically happening in your body. If we continue down this path, how do you think you will feel? What do you think will happen?" Let THEM TELL YOU the bad result if they stick to their ways.

Then let them truely picture the pleasure they will have with their results. All the great things to having a body of their dreams. how it will look, how it will peform, once again LET THEM TELL YOU how good it can be.

If a person is unable to gain enough leverage for them to take action, then don't even waste their time. You have very valuable knowledge as a personal trainer, and life is short. If this person cannot appreciate your help, you can easily find someone who does.

Hope this was helpful. Best of luck, brother!

great advice, my friend! *reps you* (...*& is not sure why you're in the red. =S*)

[Meathead.]

We discussed it and worked it out - mostly miscommunication but I got my point across and we will continue on...

I never give up! lol

we shall see where it leads..

[trojandynasty]

Originally Posted by trance__dreamer

great advice, my friend! *reps you* (...*& is not sure why you're in the red. =S*)

Well one person didn't agree with one of my opinions and gave me a neg. he happened to have a lot of rep power and I've been playing catch-up ever since.

[Meathead.]

Originally Posted by trojandynasty

Well one person didn't agree with one of my opinions and gave me a neg. he happened to have a lot of rep power and I've been playing catch-up ever since.

Your green now brah

[McJimmie]

Originally Posted by Meathead.

I am speaking on just 2 ppl ive worked w/ versus the countless dozens of others who have gotten great success.

There you go !

Don't let the two who annoy you take over the importance of the other ones who respond.

You do need to review your emails and see if anything can be misinterpreted - we know from these forums alone that the message sent out is not always the message received! But if there is nothing there, then I would simply tell the guy that you no longer wish to be his trainer.

Your time and knowledge is more valuable elsewhere, and there is no point in getting p**ed off about it.

Remember the 80/20 rule (Pareto's principle) -

20 % of your clients take up 80% of your time
80% of the grief comes from 20% of your clients
80 % of the income comes from 20% of your customers - etc.

So concentrate on the useful 20 % !

and do let us know what you decide.

[Meathead.]

Originally Posted by McJimmie

Remember the 80/20 rule (Pareto's principle) -

20 % of your clients take up 80% of your time
80% of the grief comes from 20% of your clients
80 % of the income comes from 20% of your customers - etc.

So concentrate on the useful 20 % !

and do let us know what you decide.

Interesting, thanks for the words

[Al Shades]

Assume every person you meet is a child until they prove otherwise.

[Meathead.]

Well the other lady I was speaking about who the 'free' services were provided for just told me they will no longer be continuing w/ program LOL

Most people would die to get an opportunity like this for free lol once again, boggles my mind LOL

They choose what they want to get out of it - they make their own decisions. That is why I never believe someone when they say, "Yes I am ready to do this... I am so motivated... I am sick of looking this way and having no energy...my belly is embarrassing"

Well if that's the honest truth - PROVE IT!!!!

/rant

[-Ironside-]

Originally Posted by trojandynasty

Well one person didn't agree with one of my opinions and gave me a neg. he happened to have a lot of rep power and I've been playing catch-up ever since.

I got mod negged over a disagreement a few years back, took me almost 3 years to get out of the red.

Originally Posted by Meathead.

Well the other lady I was speaking about who the 'free' services were provided for just told me they will no longer be continuing w/ program LOL

Most people would die to get an opportunity like this for free lol once again, boggles my mind LOL

/rant

It's because it was a free service, which meant to them there was no value in it. People tend to place more value on their wallet then their health.

[Al Shades]

The greatest irony of this industry is that PT's who charge the most and act as babysitters towards their clients have the highest levels of client retention, in addition to having no problem finding new, paying clients.

Find a PT who charges little and actually gets their clients results, and more often than not, they are struggling financially.

PT's who work as adult babysitters and PT's who work as coaches are doing a completely different job. It is about 10,000 times easier across the board to be a babysitter, and that is why there is a 10,000:1 ratio of babysitter PT's to coach PT's in this field.

[Meathead.]

LOL I jokingly say to some clientele ..."its like Im running a goddam daycare here..!"

[Al Shades]

You are brah

[McJimmie]

Originally Posted by Meathead.

Well the other lady I was speaking about who the 'free' services were provided for just told me they will no longer be continuing w/ program LOL

Problem solved.

Now get out and find some good paying clients to fill the spaces, and then if she comes back you can say 'sorry, full up'.

[fiddybinkin]

I think maybe the reason these clients upset you so much is that you feel their failures reflect on your ability. You probably looked at them in the beginning and thought you could do a lot with them, help them to improve their situations. But now, since they aren't cooperating you aren't seeing the results YOU hoped to see.

Let people carry their own failures. Their lack of motivation, their inconsistencies, their apathy, their weaknesses are not yours so put down their burden and move on.

Get ready because I'm about to throw out an old southern quote..."You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." Stop trying to force water down their throats and just let it go.

[kserajuddin]

Hey Meathead - first off I know where the resentment for your client's lack of motivation is coming from - great athletes in every area go through this - we can't figure out why someone that wants to get better just doesn't make the effort to do it - the path to their goals is right their in front of them and they just need to make the effort, and the don't do it -

As trainers, you're going to feel this at a certain level many, many times - Arnold has pretty bitter passage about this in his book, from his stint as a gym manager/trainer -

That being said, I don't think that you should continue to train people that don't respect the effort you're making. I used to take the results of every client personally - when I stopped, I felt better, starting making more money, and liked training much more - the money just isn't worth your piece of mind -

Also, what's also funny is that the clients that I would put in the extra time for wouldn't appreciate it and would actually resent it and start to de-value my effort even more - the moral is that spend your time nurturing and cultivating your relationship with your top clients - they will give you the best testimonials, the most referrals, and cause more people to want to train with you -

I just wrote a blog post on this very subject as well - it gets into some other aspects of the issue - check it out:

http://super-trainer.com/how-to-deal...ining-clients/

[Meathead.]

good stuff
thanks

[cris_queens]

Originally Posted by -Ironside-

Do you make your clients pay in advance?

thats why time is money bro....forget training for free i have a friend like that and i was very rude myself to him than realized theres a big differencebetween me and him...i wanna get big and stay healthy he wants to be small and gay lol....just charge bro money can put a smile on