I NEED ADVICE ON DEALING WITH A VERBAL ABUSIVE COWORKER (serious)

[Limons.]

he can't abuse you if he's dead, just sayin'....

[QB_Killa]

Originally Posted by davideric05

coworker-"this order needs to go out get this fu ckin **** out i dont give a **** if you have to put it out on the street"
me- "ok ill put it out on the street"
coworker- "wtf do you think this is funny" (hangs up on me)

coworker proceeds to come outside to my desk and slams fist on desk and starts screaming **** at me again

"are you gonna fu ckin help me or not"

lol you let it go to far, as soon as he starting screaming and pounded his fist on my desk I would have said "who the fck you talking to" if he would've carried on we would've been throwing down for sure, I don't care were it is I wouldn't stand for someone talking to me like that

[ShadowsDeed]

srs, get a tazer and the next time he gets in your face, make him pay for it,

catch it on camera, and there is nothing he can do about it.

and post for lulz.

[davideric05]

Originally Posted by QB_Killa

lol you let it go to far, as soon as he starting screaming and pounded his fist on my desk I would have said "who the fck you talking to" if he would've carried on we would've been throwing down for sure, I don't care were it is I wouldn't stand for someone talking to me like that

Word man. that was seriously the last time **** goes down like that. next thread i make will be about the consequences of him lashing out at me again.



thanks misc, you always steer a miscer in the right direction. Ill try to rep every1 in this thread except for haters.

*reps are all out guys will rep the rest tomorrow, thanks.

[blananana4]

Originally Posted by magnumpeanut

Walk away and don't help him, ever. Tell your manager that you can't work with the dude if your manager gets mad at you for walking away. If the dude gets physical at all when you walk away, break his arm. Self defense, you felt threatened. Serious, I have had to walk out of the room before from an employee freaking out on me. Mind you this employee has pulled this more than once on other people too and is in big **** right now.

That's actually brilliant.

[xdestron]

It's called being assertive. Try it sometime rather than becoming scared just because someone is yelling at you.

I seriously think if something like that happened to me my rage switch might flip and I'd have lost it. You either allow people to talk to you that way or you don't. Most people don't find themselves in this situation because they make it clear stuff like that doesn't fly.

I've only seen once instance of this happening at my office. It was my boss getting yelled at by a consultant, who isn't even higher up above him. In this case my boss is the type of unassertive guy who will let this happen rather than throwing the guy out of his office. Which type are you?

[marmadogg]

Originally Posted by dlm

start recording his outbursts...act calm at all times...bring it up to manager...keep recording outbursts keep acting calm...basically you need to prove all of this, then take it to an attorney

or just stand up for yourself and tell this guy to start being respectful towards you...if it takes getting in his face and screaming back, oh well.

Originally Posted by mkpat

bring a hidden recorder and record the abuse. take it to hr and they'll take it from there.

break his jaw the very next day so it will be justified.

Be careful about recording him as you cannot do that without his consent and it may be inadmissible in court and he could file a lawsuit against you for violation of his privacy. I maybe totally wrong on this one but you must consult a lawyer before taking this plan of action.

Stay late with him one day and confront him when no one is around.

[davideric05]

Originally Posted by xdestron

It's called being assertive. Try it sometime rather than becoming scared just because someone is yelling at you.

I seriously think if something like that happened to me my rage switch might flip and I'd have lost it. You either allow people to talk to you that way or you don't. Most people don't find themselves in this situation because they make it clear stuff like that doesn't fly

Heres the thing. I use to have a bad temper before even with my family where if i got mad enough i would start either hitting crap or just going off on a tantrum because i was unable to control my anger sometimes.

Now i dont really want anyone to see that side of me because its not a nice side and thats a certain trait i learned to control and dont wanna get out of hand ever again.

[INSANEREACH]

Being someone with a bad temper myself I see where you are coming from and I've been in your position.I've try to avoid confrontation and it's all very well people saying 'pussy' and 'manup' but the problem is if the person I confront doesn't back down and apologise straight away and maybe keeps talking **** I would end up losing my job or worse. It happened once before and it took me years to sort out my employment record because what company wants to employ someone who beats someone up at work , whatever the background to it is?

Do you ever go drinking with these people from work? because I solved a similar thing which happened afterwards with an office bully by having a chat with him in the pub toilets and gave him a slap and I had no more bother from him in work. So I'm more savvy now, I just make sure I never do anything at work no matter how much people provoke it. I just find talking to your boss , personnel etc totally useless, the Bully don't really stop , and if he does the other people in the office have you marked down as someone who can't stick up for himself.

I just think the best way is to confront this person. And if you can't do it in work without maybe losing your job do it outside.

[beaverfever]

Is he your peer or your supperior? The way you should handle the situation completely depends on a couple of things. If he is your peer I can't imagine why you would have let the situation get out of control already. If he is your peer you can just tell hiim to get outta ur face and take his issues up with someone else. If he is your superior then you should probably take the concern to a different (higher) superior and tell them that the situation is out of control and you need to be put in a different situation or the situation is going to become a big problem.

[beaverfever]

And not to pry but what kind of stuff does he say to you? And does he talk to everybody like he talks to you?

[Orlando Abs]

Originally Posted by davideric05

with all the built up aggression and rage i have towards him, he doesn't stand a mere chance.

I dealt with this before. This is what you do :

Next time he yells at you like that, look him in his eye hard, but stay calm. Just tell him "Don't speak like that to me again" and look him in the eye.

I had to do that to a coworker and he never gave me a problem again. Sounds cray, but the guy may not realize he has overstepped his boundaries. You may just need to put him in check.

It just matters the job. When I was 22, I had a lame tech support job for a few months. Some kid mouthed off trying to look cool in front of his friends. The economy was good and the job was ****, so I stepped up to him and told him to say it again. He bitched completely and apologized. I actually ended up feeling bad for the guy. The majority of people in a work environment are beta as ****.

[brake]

im just gonna go with:

tell him to stop watching entourage...

[T-mac]

next time hes is a douche to you just give him the 1000 yard stare and make sure its a good war face so he questions your sanity and his safety

demonstation:


words are overrated

[SirTerrythe3rd]

well in California we have a whistle blower law. You can complain if you need to.

[Ninja84Rush]

Originally Posted by davideric05

Misc i need your help

There is one coworker which is a sales person where i work. This guy is verbally abusive as **** to me and ive only been here for a year but it has gotten far out of hand to the point where i feel like i am threatened by him and feel very hostile even coming in or talking to him.

Im very frustrated and if it were up to me id pop him in his mouth but obviously i wont do that.

now is there anything i can do? first off i want to report the abuse to someone, i dont really have a HR dept here. We are a small business.

Also i cant tell the office manager...the one time i told him about it he told me "you have to see it from his perspective hes a salesperson".

Keep in mind that the owners are orthodox jewish and if your not your basically nothing to them. (no offence to any jews ive met some that were cool as hell).

I was thinking what if i get fired somehow and just collect?


*cliffs
-Been taking verbal abuse from sales person at work for almost a year
-feel threatened by him
-work feels very hostile now
-get fired somehow
-collect unemployment
-profit?
what would the misc do if they were in my situation?

The owners will take an interest when you mention that its "illegal" as it is HARRASSMENT

[camdls1]

if you really wanna piss him off whenever he talks to you like a dickhead just act like your stoned, trust me this will get under his skin.

him- GET THIS **** OUT OF HERE

you- *giggle* lol ok 1 sec though *more giggling* then lol

[kyle_reese]

talk to him, tell him it needs to stop. if he doesnt, tell your boss. if all else fails



+



he'll be out of work for a while


(serious)

[headinahole]

There has to be a reason he's all in your ****, you're crazy passive aggressive on here, and with the legal action comments, most likely the same IRl. Nobody just jumps off in somebody's **** EVERYDAY for no reason. Quit mousing around here...



If he was that much of a dick for this long, for no reason, even milton did something.

[RockyB]

1.) Never hit another person at your work place regardless of how much of a ass they are to you. You would go to jail for assult, lose your job and most likely have problems finding another job. Especially now when everyone knows jobs are very hard to come by.



2.) Start a log "date/time" and basic conversation notes when you feel verbally abused. Make sure to note what other employees are around to back your story up. This way if it ever gets really bad or you want to bring legal action you have some proof to back up your claim.

3.) You have to make it clear that you do not appreciate his tone with you. Verbally is good and follow it up with an email to make sure its documented. Evidence is your friend.



Protect your own ass both legally and monetarily by doing the right thing and stay cool.

[MaxxxSquats]

well you look like you would get your ass kicked by anyone over 150 lbs, so i would just shut up and take it up the ass like you already are doing.



JK brah.


imo just quit.

[RedSoxfan1978]

Well no offense OP, I see you are trying to be smart about this. BUT you enabled him from day one. Maybe Im old, and old fashioned but where and when I grew up, I would have told him once to back the f**k off and find another mark, cause Im not that other guy.

If he did it a second time I would have broke his face up. Period.
I spent my whole life fighting and using violence to solve problems. THIS guy never got his jaw jacked up. THAT is his issue. If he caught a good beating just ONCE in his life, he would not comport himself this way.

Im not a tough guy, or an E-thug here. I just have never taken anything from anyone.
I learned early in life, if you let someone bully you, they will do it forever. If you hurt them the first time, they will find someone else to pick on.

I was thrown out of more schools and fired from more jobs than I care to count. But I have my dignity and my pride intact.

Im not saying YOU dont, but you have to do something here. I dont think recording him is the ticket, its illegal in most states anyway and probably couldnt be used later on.
I cant believe he hasnt been fired yet, on the streets are one thing, but in a professional setting, to act that way is absurd.

Good luck man I feel for you here.

[matwarrior]

Stats: 5'11", 235 lbs

[J-Peg]

Originally Posted by PantyBoy

I suggest you stop being a pussy and man the fuck up.

Why is this thead 3 pages long? The answer was in the 3rd post.

[marmadogg]

Originally Posted by RockyB

1.) Never hit another person at your work place regardless of how much of a ass they are to you. You would go to jail for assult, lose your job and most likely have problems finding another job. Especially now when everyone knows jobs are very hard to come by.



2.) Start a log "date/time" and basic conversation notes when you feel verbally abused. Make sure to note what other employees are around to back your story up. This way if it ever gets really bad or you want to bring legal action you have some proof to back up your claim.

3.) You have to make it clear that you do not appreciate his tone with you. Verbally is good and follow it up with an email to make sure its documented. Evidence is your friend.



Protect your own ass both legally and monetarily by doing the right thing and stay cool.

^^^^^^ this!

[Oncebitten]

Jesus Christ! Most of this advice sucks!

Here are the facts.

1) Do not confront him or talk to him about it. Ever. Do not record or tape him.

2) Document ever occurance. Write it down. Including what has happened in the past and who witnessed it.

3) Inform your manager IN WRITING of what has transpired. Explain the threatening behavior, your concern for your safety and that it has become a hostile work enviroment. Keep a copy for yourself. E-mail is fine.

4) Request that the manager reply to your concerns IN WRITING. (They may not and that's ok)

If you don't follow these 4 steps you could lose in court or in front of the State Labor Board. Hit me up if you need more info.

Oh, and obviously don't beat his ass.

[Oncebitten]

Originally Posted by RockyB

1.) Never hit another person at your work place regardless of how much of a ass they are to you. You would go to jail for assult, lose your job and most likely have problems finding another job. Especially now when everyone knows jobs are very hard to come by.



2.) Start a log "date/time" and basic conversation notes when you feel verbally abused. Make sure to note what other employees are around to back your story up. This way if it ever gets really bad or you want to bring legal action you have some proof to back up your claim.

3.) You have to make it clear that you do not appreciate his tone with you. Verbally is good and follow it up with an email to make sure its documented. Evidence is your friend.



Protect your own ass both legally and monetarily by doing the right thing and stay cool.

I agree with 1 and 2. But step #3 is the requirement of the EMPLOYER, not the employee. Very important difference!

[Billy_The_Kid]

Originally Posted by bluebeltATT

why not just go and kick his fukking ass all over the sales floor??


if he pounds his fist on your desk jump and yell really loud " Are you fukking threatening me??? "

then kick the living sh!t outta him, say you felt threatened and you were defending yourself

This. Or one day at lunch, stage a food fight. Cover your hands with pie and ice cream, then pound the shit out of his face and say it was just a food fight. Profit.

[BB1969]

Originally Posted by forcefedfreak

This is what you say:

"If you don't stop being such a prick, I'm going to knock your teeth out of your head. Sure I'll get fired, but I can get another job, you're teeth...well they'll be gone forever."

LOL I like this one.