Relationship is fail

user45354 · 07-18-2009, 10:16 AM

I have been dating a chick for a month

we are awkward when we are together
people say we look awkward
she stresses me out, and im more quiet around her
she doesnt like to talk to me when i socially drink with friends (like if i drink im not me or somthing)
its a challenge to set up a date with her
when i say i like her and crap she sends wierd texts back that make me regret saying it
when we are at a party, sometimes she will be on my lap and stuff is fine, or she will be having a blast with other people than has nothing to say to me when she does see me
I constantly wonder if she likes me back the way i like her (dont know if today is going to be fun or a breakup lol)
we did it once and havent done it for weeks
this is her first real relationship (no slut)
she hangs around this other guy friend alot, they talk about the relationship and stuff and im obviously being judged a bit (i know him and he is a good guy who has had a girlfriend for 2 years and wouldnt do anything)
we have had some great times together but its like after she took me away from another chick and "had" me these moments decreased

altogether im generally not happy
Should I do myself a favour and end it, or try to work things out. lol

im thinking of spending a day with her and asking her to decide, but that sounds a bit needy

Spaghettii · 07-18-2009, 10:18 AM

You don't tell a girl you like her. Actions speak louder than words...
You have experience in relationships or girls, brah? (srs)

user45354 · 07-18-2009, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spaghettii

You don't tell a girl you like her. Actions speak louder than words...
You have experience in relationships or girls, brah? (srs)

yeah i failed by doing this and regret it, it puts her in power.

this is my third relationship, im still learning

Spaghettii · 07-18-2009, 10:25 AM

How old are you?
And yeah, I can relate to your experience. I felt similarly around my 3rd relationship.

user45354 · 07-18-2009, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spaghettii

How old are you?
And yeah, I can relate to your experience. I felt similarly around my 3rd relationship.

im 18

Spaghettii · 07-18-2009, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leprosy

im 18

Well, just stop worrying about whether she has power or not, but don't act like a total kiss-ass either. Just forget all of the PUA.

Dump her, and go talk to other girls.

chriskav · 07-18-2009, 10:31 AM

My last girlfriend was one of the nicest people ever, she asked me to go out, not the other way around, I was totally in control, but it felt weird so I ended it. If it doesn't feel right being in a relationship then you shouldn't be in one

user45354 · 07-18-2009, 10:49 AM

bump anyone?

Dhboy · 07-18-2009, 10:59 AM

venaquimami · 07-18-2009, 11:02 AM

Your relationship honestly sounds very unstable... a relationship is suppose to bind two people... if you guys are not growing your comfortability with eachother... i think that is either 1.) a serious incompatibility sign or 2.) a serious wake up call that you need to change how your interacting with your partner.... and what i mean by that is... you need to seriously sit down with your partner and try to talk to her about her position on the relationship... it sounds like the relationship might end soon anyway... so if you put yourself out there on the table completely... and try to show concern for her thoughts and feelings.. it might allow her to open up more... thus bring you two closer... thus... allowing you guys to bind a little closer... thus opening the door for you guys to continue to bind closer... because now the doors of communication are open... so yes to sum it up... my advice is... at the rate your going your relationship is destined to end.. and soon... so you need to seriously try to discuss the relationship with her.. but do it in a confident manor... not a forced manor... but show her you can be the strong one in the relationship... and still care about her feelings and thoughts... and if she truly cares for you... even in the slightest... i guarentee she will see you in a new light... and perhaps your relationship will be saved... and turn out better than you ever imagined.

user45354 · 07-18-2009, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venaquimami

Your relationship honestly sounds very unstable... a relationship is suppose to bind two people... if you guys are not growing your comfortability with eachother... i think that is either 1.) a serious incompatibility sign or 2.) a serious wake up call that you need to change how your interacting with your partner.... and what i mean by that is... you need to seriously sit down with your partner and try to talk to her about her position on the relationship... it sounds like the relationship might end soon anyway... so if you put yourself out there on the table completely... and try to show concern for her thoughts and feelings.. it might allow her to open up more... thus bring you two closer... thus... allowing you guys to bind a little closer... thus opening the door for you guys to continue to bind closer... because now the doors of communication are open... so yes to sum it up... my advice is... at the rate your going your relationship is destined to end.. and soon... so you need to seriously try to discuss the relationship with her.. but do it in a confident manor... not a forced manor... but show her you can be the strong one in the relationship... and still care about her feelings and thoughts... and if she truly cares for you... even in the slightest... i guarentee she will see you in a new light... and perhaps your relationship will be saved... and turn out better than you ever imagined.

i dont think she knows what she wants, and i dont expect that out of her at this age

Paper1pr · 07-18-2009, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venaquimami

Your relationship honestly sounds very unstable... a relationship is suppose to bind two people... if you guys are not growing your comfortability with eachother... i think that is either 1.) a serious incompatibility sign or 2.) a serious wake up call that you need to change how your interacting with your partner.... and what i mean by that is... you need to seriously sit down with your partner and try to talk to her about her position on the relationship... it sounds like the relationship might end soon anyway... so if you put yourself out there on the table completely... and try to show concern for her thoughts and feelings.. it might allow her to open up more... thus bring you two closer... thus... allowing you guys to bind a little closer... thus opening the door for you guys to continue to bind closer... because now the doors of communication are open... so yes to sum it up... my advice is... at the rate your going your relationship is destined to end.. and soon... so you need to seriously try to discuss the relationship with her.. but do it in a confident manor... not a forced manor... but show her you can be the strong one in the relationship... and still care about her feelings and thoughts... and if she truly cares for you... even in the slightest... i guarentee she will see you in a new light... and perhaps your relationship will be saved... and turn out better than you ever imagined.

bandaloop · 07-18-2009, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leprosy

I have been dating a chick for a month

we are awkward when we are together
people say we look awkward
she stresses me out, and im more quiet around her
she doesnt like to talk to me when i socially drink with friends (like if i drink im not me or somthing)
its a challenge to set up a date with her
when i say i like her and crap she sends wierd texts back that make me regret saying it
when we are at a party, sometimes she will be on my lap and stuff is fine, or she will be having a blast with other people than has nothing to say to me when she does see me
I constantly wonder if she likes me back the way i like her (dont know if today is going to be fun or a breakup lol)
we did it once and havent done it for weeks
this is her first real relationship (no slut)
she hangs around this other guy friend alot, they talk about the relationship and stuff and im obviously being judged a bit (i know him and he is a good guy who has had a girlfriend for 2 years and wouldnt do anything)
we have had some great times together but its like after she took me away from another chick and "had" me these moments decreased

altogether im generally not happy
Should I do myself a favour and end it, or try to work things out. lol

im thinking of spending a day with her and asking her to decide, but that sounds a bit needy

are you sure you're not married to her already?

AminoAmigo · 07-18-2009, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leprosy

i dont think she knows what she wants, and i dont expect that out of her at this age

sounds exactly like my last relationship. we were together for just like one month. she is the sister of my best friend and we knew each other for a long time ( like 4 or 5 years ) ... one day i decided to ask her to date me and she said yes. i knw that i was totally intzo her and that she was into me so it was common sense.

it was nearly exactly your story ... hard time to get dates, she played "hot and col" ... etc.

in the end i/we broke up because she seemed just to not feeling it.

now, about 5 weeks later, she pretends that she needs "more time" and that she wants tt make a new start later ... well, i think she just wasn't ready for a serious relationship ( she did not ahave a serious relationship before ... and she is no slut too )

try to talk to her seriously ... make sure that she understands, that you really care for her and thta you really want your relationship to work out ... but tell her that she has to work on some points too.

sorry for the bad grammar ... didn't wrote english for a while.

hellomister1 · 07-18-2009, 01:00 PM

if ur not happy, break up with her. find a new girl. she isn't "THE ONE". "THE ONE" is the one u feel comfortable with 24/7 (or most of the time) and the one you dont post threads asking for advice for (unless theres certain circumstances when ur confused as ****)

/thread

user45354 · 07-18-2009, 01:49 PM

bump

venaquimami · 07-18-2009, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leprosy

i dont think she knows what she wants, and i dont expect that out of her at this age

Why would you even want to be with someone who does not know what they want... we can try all to look past blinding incompatabilities but ultimately ... your only just settling but i suppose we will all suffer from thinking if we give people time they will change... im done playing that game.. I'd rather find someone mature off the bat.. everything else relationship wise is just wasted effort.

Tiffany Wantsmore · 07-18-2009, 07:13 PM

It's been a month, you should feel comfortable around each other by now. Sometimes you get together with someone based on mutual attraction or whatever, and then find out you're not compatible. It's not a failure, don't see it as one, it's just one of those things. If it's not making you happy, finish it.