Wife is having hard time with my diet

MMAJason · 07-14-2009, 07:28 AM

Hey all, I am 28 yrs old and looking to get in shape for my first ever contest whenever I am ready. Right now I have to diet to lose bodyfat%, and my diet is bothering my wife. She is upset that I have to eat certain things only and certain things at certain times. She can't stand that she can't cook spaghetti, or lasagna, or rice and gravy, etc for me. She feels like I'm in my own world. I told her I would quit if she really wanted me to but I feel like it's unfair. Is there any way that I can either get her to understand my drive for this, or work something out to where she can cook a good meal for me? I just don't know what to do....we've been married only 2 years and I'm only a few months into the dieting. If it's this bad now, what will happen when pre-contest comes around. She, as well as my mom thinks there should be a balance when eating, but it's hard to explain. Anyway, any help will be appreciated as always. Thanks.

dimasso69 · 07-14-2009, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMAJason

Hey all, I am 28 yrs old and looking to get in shape for my first ever contest whenever I am ready. Right now I have to diet to lose bodyfat%, and my diet is bothering my wife. She is upset that I have to eat certain things only and certain things at certain times. She can't stand that she can't cook spaghetti, or lasagna, or rice and gravy, etc for me. She feels like I'm in my own world. I told her I would quit if she really wanted me to but I feel like it's unfair. Is there any way that I can either get her to understand my drive for this, or work something out to where she can cook a good meal for me? I just don't know what to do....we've been married only 2 years and I'm only a few months into the dieting. If it's this bad now, what will happen when pre-contest comes around. She, as well as my mom thinks there should be a balance when eating, but it's hard to explain. Anyway, any help will be appreciated as always. Thanks.

Ask her to cook u meals like grilled/baked chicken and veges, or a nice steak and a potato on the side. Just watch the portion sizes, u can eat that spaghetti u know just dont eat a huge plate of it "fit it into ur macros"

blast00 · 07-14-2009, 07:33 AM

so this answer really depends on how serious you are about bodybuilding.

since it appears you are very serious, (you have a contest coming up...), your wife should understand that this is one of your jobs, a source of income maybe. It is something that it necessary to be done to be in pre-contest shape.

if you are doing this as a hobby? I would rethink everything over and maybe think about what your priorities are and discuss them with you and her.

lee__d · 07-14-2009, 07:33 AM

u could always let her cook what she cooks and weigh some of it out.

u could have her cook less (quantity) and she can eat what she cooks, and u eat w/e u eat.

tabasco.sauce · 07-14-2009, 07:50 AM

that's cute...

Samamo · 07-14-2009, 07:58 AM

Eat her. nutritious meal, nagging gone=problem solved.

Nah hmmm sounds like a difficult situation maybe give her a list of foods you can eat and she can make some new recipes if that is what she enjoys doing. Or if she feels like this is just extra work for her and that is the problem then maybe help out with the cooking. Maybe involve her in your new healthy lifestyle and she will enjoy the foods as well and she will feel like the change is no big deal. Good luck

lorinelise · 07-14-2009, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samamo

Maybe involve her in your new healthy lifestyle

This.

Obviously if your wife is feeling like you're isolating and "in your own world" then she isn't included in your lifestyle changes. Maybe spend some time searching new recipes she can cook? Your wife probably loves to cook for you (like I do for my boyfriend

) and is upset that you're rejecting her meals.

stuck185 · 07-14-2009, 08:04 AM

I think I can help. I'm married and have had a similar situation with my wife. It wasn't a BB'ing show and she wasn?t my wife at the time. But I was dedicated to something other than her, and that pissed her off. It would cause problems left and right. I wouldn?t go out to eat because I was worried about making weight. All I wanted to talk about was fighting (i.e.- not her). I kept trying to fix the little problems. But I never got to the root of the issue. The real problem was that all the time I was putting into my goal made her feel less important.

My advice would be to make an effort to make her feel important. I don't mean to come off as talking down to you or anything. I know that your dog tired when you finally get home to see her. But you need to go the extra mile for her. People always say "being married takes a lot of work." And this is the kind they are talking about.

The good news is things get much easier if when you learn to do this. Eventually my wife stopped harassing me about all the time I was putting into my goal. She even began to start supporting me. And when I was preparing for other competitions she felt like she was a part of it. Hope this helps!

awbasa · 07-14-2009, 08:15 AM

Is your wife fit? If not get her into this lifestyle.

Pics of your wife? Lol

gse123 · 07-14-2009, 08:19 AM

Start doing the cooking yourself - then you can make whatever the hell you like!

The_Animal11 · 07-14-2009, 08:19 AM

she can still cook alot of those things, they just have the be different! spaghetti made with spaghetti squash, lasagna made with sliced zucchini or eggplant, "rice" you can make outta cauliflower... it just takes creativity my friend!

oh, and the involving her thing, thats a good idea too.

athomp55 · 07-14-2009, 08:31 AM

There is a whole section on this web site devoted to bodybuilding recipes. I would look there, and maybe suggest some foods that would fit into your diet. some of them are pretty tasty too :P

I have learned one thing though.... "Happy Wife = Happy Life" find a way to make it work, or this will be a difficult time for you

Good luck!

GTmauf · 07-14-2009, 11:50 AM

Excellent post.

Flex500 · 07-14-2009, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMAJason

Hey all, I am 28 yrs old and looking to get in shape for my first ever contest whenever I am ready. Right now I have to diet to lose bodyfat%, and my diet is bothering my wife. She is upset that I have to eat certain things only and certain things at certain times. She can't stand that she can't cook spaghetti, or lasagna, or rice and gravy, etc for me. She feels like I'm in my own world. I told her I would quit if she really wanted me to but I feel like it's unfair. Is there any way that I can either get her to understand my drive for this, or work something out to where she can cook a good meal for me? I just don't know what to do....we've been married only 2 years and I'm only a few months into the dieting. If it's this bad now, what will happen when pre-contest comes around. She, as well as my mom thinks there should be a balance when eating, but it's hard to explain. Anyway, any help will be appreciated as always. Thanks.

you don't need to add that strict if you are just trying to lose some bodyfat. Just eat less calories.

Now are you serious about getting ready for a contest? If so don't just say you'll do one when you're ready...you'll never be ready.

If you are eating so strict you have to eat specific foods at specific amounts in specific quantities no matter what then I would suggest you pic a show and do it. That way your wife can see and endpoint.

I'm very serious about this but my wife would kill me if I was that strict and not getting ready for a show or just trying to lose some bodyfat.