Working out and depressed?

[constanceh]

I want to find out if anybody went through the same things i did when i was working out ( i have stopped for now but may get back into it soon). When i was working out I would get very depressed. i saw other women at the gym who looked about 50 times better than i did, and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn't working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse, so i stopped, but now i am in the exact same spot. i want to try and lose weight again, even though i have already thrown most of my 2009 goals out the window. did any one else go through anything like this? if so how did you get through it and keep going?

[VoxExMachina]

Personally, I feel better about myself when I'm working out. I think you have stop comparing yourself to others. Instead compare your "working out self" to your "lazy self".

If you work out regularly, eat right, and stay consistent, then after awhile you will likely be one of those people in the gym that others envy. It doesn't matter that you aren't there yet, what matters is that you are on your way. Tell yourself that when you work out. "I'm making progress. I'm on my way."

On the other hand, if you focus too much on how far you have to go, then it's easy to be discouraged and never get anywhere. You will never get out of the rut if you think this way. It's like a 2nd grader being depressed because they feel they will never learn quantum physics.

So, set small goals that are specific to you: "I want to lose 5 pounds", or "I want to be able to see my bicep". Make them small and something you can realistically attain in a month or so. Focus only on progress, and only on that goal. Don't worry about others. Track your progress to that goal, and every time you leave the gym tell yourself "I made a small but positive step today. Good job for getting your butt in the gym!"

Then, when you achieve your goal you will feel better and it will encourage you do do more. Eventually, you can set longer and longer term goals.

None of those people you feel look better than you did it overnight. They had to put in the work. So do you.

[BIGrob84]

Don't give up. Patience is key. Just visualize what you will look like when you acheive your goals and hold on to that thought. The battle is internal and you must overcome that little voice of depression. You can do it

[constanceh]

Its hard to visualize what i will look like 6 months from now right now. all i see when i look in the mirror is a really fat, over weight person. i want to get back into working out and try to feel better about myself but, i don't want to go through even more self hatred while getting there. if i go to a gym with people, i feel embarrassed, not good about what i would be doing. i would see other women, stop and leave. i guess i have a different mindset than everyone else. since i have stopped i have gained what little i lost back and i just stay home basically all the time, which i'm sure isn't helping. i want to look good and like who i am but i dont know if i can pull myself out of this rut and go through more self hating again. i appreciate the responses.

[wrecking_ball]

You should kick up a conversation with those people at the gym and tell them how good they look or how well their program must be working for them. Just compliment them it will make you feel good and then they will probably go out of their way some days to compliment you and you will feel good all over again. It may seem embarrassing at first but its worth it!

[bull.dogz]

You need to change the way you think. Think of these women as your motivation. I see women who have the physique I want and it motivates me to work that much harder. Giving up should not be an option. Just think of where you might actually be if you hadn't have given up.

[UpInSmoke]

Those women prolly started in the same shoes as you. Don't beat yourself up, just let that be your motivation. You truely can acheive your goals if you set em and do it the rite way. Don't pay attention to others, just yourself. Once you start seeing results on your own body it gets addictive and you will feel much better about yourself. You say working out makes you depressed and self-loathing, so what is sitting around doing nothing about it going to acheive?

[bayou_piper]

In a word, yes. I absolutely felt this way for many years. I was the classic work out for 3 weeks with a very strict diet and then get down on myself on how little difference it was making and quit. I always had a great excuse for why I wasn't going to meet my goals. I also saw others in the gym as a demotivator. At 6'4" there were not a lot of people my size, so I would convince myself that it was genetics. I would tell myself, "When I bench I am lifting the weight twice as far with half of the leverage." If they were my size, I would convince myself that they had been at it for years and there is no way I could catch up.

Basically, it was my brain using every trick it could think of to avoid working out. It was uncomfortable, embarrassing, it hurt.

You just need to keep doing it. After about 6 months I little switch in my head flipped and now my brain works the opposite. I need to fight with myself not to work out. Diet however is still a big challenge... living in New Orleans... mmmmmm fooooooood!

No thanks, I will skip the etouffee and have my chicken and greens. Ugh!

[constanceh]

Thanks fro everyone?s replies! I totally agree that I should keep going but as far as going to the gym, well my confidence isn?t there yet. I?m going to use the stuff I have here at home (bowflex and treadmill and other random stuff). Maybe in a couple months ill get my self esteem up enough to go back to the gym.

[dcamnc]

You're a cute girl. Just get to it. Ignore everyone's comments (and your own) and consistantly stick to your goal no matter what.

[Mike83]

Originally Posted by bull.dogz

You need to change the way you think. Think of these women as your motivation. I see women who have the physique I want and it motivates me to work that much harder. Giving up should not be an option. Just think of where you might actually be if you hadn't have given up.

THIS!!!!^^^^^^^

Best thing i Read all DAY!

LIVE TO THIS CODE AND FOLLOW IT WITH NO REMORSE

Then you will look back and think how stupid you were thinking.

[matix1]

maybe you could try talking to someone that has the physique you are trying to get. that has helped me alot because there is always someone bigger and in better shape, and i get discouraged but i try and make friends and follow tips and after that im less embarressed with my shape because im utilizing what they have said to help me get to where i wanna be

[Haybales]

Originally Posted by constanceh

I want to find out if anybody went through the same things i did when i was working out ( i have stopped for now but may get back into it soon). When i was working out I would get very depressed. i saw other women at the gym who looked about 50 times better than i did, and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn't working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse, so i stopped, but now i am in the exact same spot. i want to try and lose weight again, even though i have already thrown most of my 2009 goals out the window. did any one else go through anything like this? if so how did you get through it and keep going?

Argh, that sucks bad. Don't feel bad coz there are people out there who may look "better"
than you. She might be thinking the same thing about you.

Also, how on earth are you going to better yourself, if you don't go to the gym and work hard, don't eat right and constantly look down on yourself?

Be happy with who you are and make the best of what you have. You should be happy knowing that you are working hard to make YOU the best YOU can be.

Jump back into the gym, and start smilin' sunshine! Don't waste your time on negative thoughts, life is too short to worry.

[dannyboy27]

You need to be patient and consistant, you can achieve those goals if you acually put your mind to it 100%

[sjayne80]

Maybe looking deeper, and finding out why you really want to get into shape, what is your own personal motivation, can help you focus more on yourself. You may have been doing is in other areas of yourself, where others took the focus off of yourself, leaving your wants and needs on the "back burner". Its normal to care what others think at times, however when you begin to lose out on things that could benefit you greatly (such as exercising/eating healthy) due to other people, its time to change something. You have to believe that you are a truly beautiful person and that you DESERVE to be healthier and happier. Most of those people you see at the gym may have started off at a place even worse from where you are now. You need to be your own personal cheerleader (because no one else is going to do it) and motivation yourself to continue on your journey to a healthier lifestyle. With this will come a stronger self esteem, stick with it, you can do this! Put yourself first, and at the end of the day do things that will make you feel happier and healthier. Good luck!

Originally Posted by constanceh

I want to find out if anybody went through the same things i did when i was working out ( i have stopped for now but may get back into it soon). When i was working out I would get very depressed. i saw other women at the gym who looked about 50 times better than i did, and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn't working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse, so i stopped, but now i am in the exact same spot. i want to try and lose weight again, even though i have already thrown most of my 2009 goals out the window. did any one else go through anything like this? if so how did you get through it and keep going?

[arimasu_yo]

The first time i ever stepped into a gym by myself, about 11 years ago, i was overweight and depressed. I took out my depression on the weights and spent ALL my spare time in the gym. I closed the place out every weeknight with all the hard core guys who were ripped and monstrous. All i kept thinking is (i don't belong here with these guyz... they're prob all laughing at me)... it was a struggle to walk down that long hallway to the weightroom every night. i felt like a noob with books and stuff to make sure i did things right. but it was an internal fight every EVERY night.. when all your friends are out partying, but i wanted this.. i WANTED this change above ALL else.

well, after a while, they all came up one by one to help me with form sometimes, suggestions here or there, or just some words of encouragement. some asked me to spot them sometimes. turns out, most were REALLY cool and all started out the same way.

then it came full circle. a good friend, who was really scrawny, wanted to build some muscle and get into shape. So he came and worked out with me (he felt the same... self concious..like he didn't belong there) but he kept at it. one day, i was doing some curls in the corner, and my friend came up to me and said, "DUDE, your fu*in House!", i turned and looked in the mirror, my arms were ripped, all cut up, and pumped... i never noticed before.. i was starting to look like all the guys i was intimidated by and now my friend was in my position from a while back. that one moment made all that work worth it.. every hard lonely night hittin the iron, every fight to walk down that halway... (and my friend also kept at it and got some decent size btw)

Pls don't stop, push through it~ we're all there with you. all the people you see started out just like you...

push for it, work through it, and you will soon come full circle. It is sooo hard, but soooooo rewarding.

i wish i never stopped, but i am back in it now, for good (and am going through a little of that scenario all over again!!

i hope YOU also jump back in it for good!! PLEASE don't throw this years goals out the window. It is NEVER NEVER too late to start!! or even to continue!!!

join a class, look through the music section and get some tunes that get you pumped, throw up some posters of what you want to look like!! it WILL happen faster than what you think!!!!!!!

Good luck!

[johnderriLLL]

Originally Posted by constanceh

I want to find out if anybody went through the same things i did when i was working out ( i have stopped for now but may get back into it soon). When i was working out I would get very depressed. i saw other women at the gym who looked about 50 times better than i did, and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn't working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse, so i stopped, but now i am in the exact same spot. i want to try and lose weight again, even though i have already thrown most of my 2009 goals out the window. did any one else go through anything like this? if so how did you get through it and keep going?

i have struggled with weight since 1992. every day is a battle. ive been working on it the past 3 years even when i felt like giving up, i still pushed, i still ate my veggies and i have 100 pounds less to show for it.

nothing will take the place of persistence and patience. the buck stops with you.

theres still 187 days left this year plenty of time to do something with your time.

if you dont say NO to all the things that hurt you who will?

you have my support

[Halothane]

You know what is right, choose it and do it. It's the right thing and don't fear it.

[Mike83]

Originally Posted by johnderriLLL

i have struggled with weight since 1992. every day is a battle. ive been working on it the past 3 years even when i felt like giving up, i still pushed, i still ate my veggies and i have 100 pounds less to show for it.

nothing will take the place of persistence and patience. the buck stops with you.

theres still 187 days left this year plenty of time to do something with your time.

if you dont say NO to all the things that hurt you who will?

you have my support

I like the outstandingly positive outlooks in here. Thats the key "POSITIVE!" Stay Positive! No matter what, No matter what happens, how you feel, ect. You have to stay in a positive outlook and mindframe. Please just try to do this, if something gets you down, remind yourself to think positive. Do not let those evils and "demons!" control you, fight hard and be strong!

[dissonance]

those really fit girls were probably in the same shoes as you were in. don't sweat it and continue on working and improving yourself.

[matteothefart]

go for it!

its all about consistency and patience...

[SERVED_USMC]

The reason I go to the gym is to see those people that look 50 times better than me. I dont care how ****ty I look that day compared to everyone else, I just get pissed enough to work hard and try to look better than them! If I was in the best shape out of everyone who went there I would have no reason to push myself harder and harder each day. Look at them as motivation, not as a reason to get depressed.

[darkartist81]

It can be hard at first, you feel fat and everyone around you at the gym seems like they are all fitness models. But it just takes time. I would come home and look in the mirror, look at my belly or fat legs and think... "I have a ways to go, but it's gonna happen."

You just have to keep at it, keep reminding yourself that you are taking it step by step. Every day you go is another day closer to your goal. NOTHING can stop you but yourself. I let the big guys motivate me further now. I see someone really huge or defined, and I push harder. It's not an ego thing, I just want to have a new body so much I can taste it.

All of us are self conscious, even the super fit. When you are in the gym, retreat into your mind. Think only of the run you are about to do, or the weights you are going to lift. Think about sets and what your post workout nutrition is going to be, ANYTHING but what the other people in the gym are doing or if they are looking at you. You almost have to put on the blinders and become a machine, you are there for YOU. Your mission is to tear yourself apart and build up a new version of yourself, anybody else near you doesn't matter. So you just focus and hit it hard, and I guarantee you... one day...you will be that girl in the gym that make other people nervous.

Keep at it, never give up... you WILL succeed.

[pablocai]

Originally Posted by arimasu_yo

The first time i ever stepped into a gym by myself, about 11 years ago, i was overweight and depressed. I took out my depression on the weights and spent ALL my spare time in the gym. I closed the place out every weeknight with all the hard core guys who were ripped and monstrous. All i kept thinking is (i don't belong here with these guyz... they're prob all laughing at me)... it was a struggle to walk down that long hallway to the weightroom every night. i felt like a noob with books and stuff to make sure i did things right. but it was an internal fight every EVERY night.. when all your friends are out partying, but i wanted this.. i WANTED this change above ALL else.

well, after a while, they all came up one by one to help me with form sometimes, suggestions here or there, or just some words of encouragement. some asked me to spot them sometimes. turns out, most were REALLY cool and all started out the same way.

then it came full circle. a good friend, who was really scrawny, wanted to build some muscle and get into shape. So he came and worked out with me (he felt the same... self concious..like he didn't belong there) but he kept at it. one day, i was doing some curls in the corner, and my friend came up to me and said, "DUDE, your fu*in House!", i turned and looked in the mirror, my arms were ripped, all cut up, and pumped... i never noticed before.. i was starting to look like all the guys i was intimidated by and now my friend was in my position from a while back. that one moment made all that work worth it.. every hard lonely night hittin the iron, every fight to walk down that halway... (and my friend also kept at it and got some decent size btw)

Pls don't stop, push through it~ we're all there with you. all the people you see started out just like you...

push for it, work through it, and you will soon come full circle. It is sooo hard, but soooooo rewarding.

i wish i never stopped, but i am back in it now, for good (and am going through a little of that scenario all over again!!

i hope YOU also jump back in it for good!! PLEASE don't throw this years goals out the window. It is NEVER NEVER too late to start!! or even to continue!!!

join a class, look through the music section and get some tunes that get you pumped, throw up some posters of what you want to look like!! it WILL happen faster than what you think!!!!!!!

Good luck!

after reading this I just want to hit the gym for a good chest and biceps session ; ), nice story men .... its really similar to mine, the first time I went to the gym I was so fat, so shy, I was so depressed, big gut, manboobs....but there I was, maybe the fattest person in the gym but I was there, for 2 hours I didnt care how bad I looked, how fat I was, how disgusting I was...I pushed myself a 100%, still have a long way to achieve my goal but I can really say I did it, I stop being that new and fat guy with huge manboobs... Im maybe the only person in the gym that goes every week, no matter if its cold, if it rains, if Im sick...I justo go and o what I dreamed all my life, to be proud of my body.... it all depends on you, we all have bad moments... I used to have depression because of being fat and discriminated (I seriously thought about suicide )...but thats life you now, there are no excuses, if being fit and having the body of your dreams makes you happy, well DO IT , go for it...good luck

[cookie123]

Hm, Im actually the exact opposite, im someone of a "debbie downer" just kind of a gloomy guy, but exercising (especially running) helps me clear my mind and feel better about life.

They gym isnt a competition, dont look at other people and think "oh they look so much better than me." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and people naturally tend to be far to self critical of themselves. Just try not to over analyze it and do what you came to do. Life is good, live it!

[Stud-Inc.]

wtf if ur jealous of other chicks in the gym that should just make u want it even more

[morikk]

I cant speak for everyone, but when I see someone in the gym who is overweight and working their butts off (litteraly) that actually motivates me to stick with it even more.

I think most people in the gym would see you just like everyone else there. Motivated trying to achieve a goal. So keep up the hard work, and before you know it you will be looking in the mirror thinking to yourself "I am just like those other hard bodies were when I first started"

[paolo59]

Originally Posted by constanceh

I want to find out if anybody went through the same things i did when i was working out ( i have stopped for now but may get back into it soon). When i was working out I would get very depressed. i saw other women at the gym who looked about 50 times better than i did, and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn't working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse, so i stopped, but now i am in the exact same spot. i want to try and lose weight again, even though i have already thrown most of my 2009 goals out the window. did any one else go through anything like this? if so how did you get through it and keep going?

When I go to the gym I pay no attention to anyone. It is unrealistic, and to be truthful, foolish to compare yourself to another. For years I didn't go to a commercial gym for precisely that reason. There are people of every weight, size, muscularity, or lack thereof. Focus on your goals. You are there to better yourself, whether it's a lower heart rate and the ability to hit the tread mill for 30 minutes without collapsing, losing weight and toning muscle, or increasing strength and size. It doesn't matter what the hell someone thinks of me, or whether they can lift 5 times what I can bench. I'm not at the gym to compete with anyone but myself. I encourage you to settle things in your mind, and forget about how you might compare to someone else. You can accomplish anything that you set your heart and mind to. Don't let "perception" get in your way!

[kanemacbox]

Originally Posted by constanceh

I want to find out if anybody went through the same things i did when i was working out ( i have stopped for now but may get back into it soon). When i was working out I would get very depressed. i saw other women at the gym who looked about 50 times better than i did, and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn't working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse, so i stopped, but now i am in the exact same spot. i want to try and lose weight again, even though i have already thrown most of my 2009 goals out the window. did any one else go through anything like this? if so how did you get through it and keep going?

use gaba