Alcoholic

[Chicharrones]

I think I am one. As much as I love being in shape and eating healthy and feeling good, I let my weakness for alcohol get me. I find my job pretty stressful and when I get home, I feel I deserve a beer. A few months ago, I ended up long term relationship and used that as my catalyst to get back in to the gym and I did, I was doing really well. Since then, my feelings of "proving" myself have slowed down and I've drifted back into a lifestyle of stress, laziness and exhaustion. I play a lot of volleyball so I guess I consider that my weakly workout but I'm smarter than that and know I need to do more.

I'm educated on what I need to do and what I need to eat but this beer demon has its claws dug into me. I feel like I'm waiting for my next catalyst. Needless to say, I'm not a self-motivator. On top of that, no one knows how much I actually drink. I'm a single mom with not many friends and only see my family on the weekends. So really, nobody knows...except everyone here now. If you have any encouragement to offer, let me know! It would be very much appreciated. I do realize I'm the only one that can stop this...actually I'm afraid it has gotten past that.

Thanks!

Rachel

[Chicharrones]

Sorry, should have posted this is misc. My bad!

[stasgolbom]

look, only reason you drink is because you are sad with your life, do something to change it.
dont you think your child deserves better then a mom who is passes out on the floor or in a bar somewhere getting her drink on? i think you know the answer to this one.
i got an addctive personality myself, but i put alot of effort into getting addicted to gym and working out, sometimes i drift away but my guilty feelings bring me back. plus my dad drinks beer and cant quit and i dont want to be like him, with a beer belly and half passes out on the couch at 9pm even tho his life isnt that hard it just isnt exciting enough for him to keep any interest in it, when he isnt drinking he is the most awesome dude ever, so i dont understand yet what makes great people do such stupid things.

[Chicharrones]

Originally Posted by stasgolbom

look, only reason you drink is because you are sad with your life, do something to change it.
dont you think your child deserves better then a mom who is passes out on the floor or in a bar somewhere getting her drink on? i think you know the answer to this one.
i got an addctive personality myself, but i put alot of effort into getting addicted to gym and working out, sometimes i drift away but my guilty feelings bring me back. plus my dad drinks beer and cant quit and i dont want to be like him, with a beer belly and half passes out on the couch at 9pm even tho his life isnt that hard it just isnt exciting enough for him to keep any interest in it, when he isnt drinking he is the most awesome dude ever, so i dont understand yet what makes great people do such stupid things.

I should clear up that I don't pass out or black out. I drink in the evenings when my daughter is asleep and I don't get belligerent. I suppose I use it to relax or as a sleep aide but I don't drink to the point where I cannot function. And I'm not in denial. I know how much I drink and it's on a weekly basis but I don't do it to the point of passing out or not being able to wake up in the morning, I do it more to aide in my relaxation for the evening. But I do it enough so that I am too tired the next day to eat well and get my butt off the couch when I get home and get to the gym. I don't do it at work or even on a daily basis...nothing to that extreme but, like I said, enough to take me a few steps back from who I really want to and should be.

And I'm not really posting this to be looked at as a bad mom or a bad person. I don't need anyone coming down on me, I do that enough myself. An encouraging word would be much more helpful. Thanks!

[Smartpart]

Originally Posted by Chicharrones

I should clear up that I don't pass out or black out. I drink in the evenings when my daughter is asleep and I don't get belligerent. I suppose I use it to relax or as a sleep aide but I don't drink to the point where I cannot function. And I'm not in denial. I know how much I drink and it's on a weekly basis but I don't do it to the point of passing out or not being able to wake up in the morning, I do it more to aide in my relaxation for the evening. But I do it enough so that I am too tired the next day to eat well and get my butt off the couch when I get home and get to the gym. I don't do it at work or even on a daily basis...nothing to that extreme but, like I said, enough to take me a few steps back from who I really want to and should be.

And I'm not really posting this to be looked at as a bad mom or a bad person. I don't need anyone coming down on me, I do that enough myself. An encouraging word would be much more helpful. Thanks!

Sounds to me like you are doing okay. Your not going to get pity, from me at least. If stopping is something you want to do, then yes, people including myself will be happy to help and encourage you. (I'm 18, so far from alcoholism, but I have quit partying and quit smoking.) I am pro alcohol, but there comes a point like anything, including sex and drugs, hobbies, relationships, etc where using it, taking part, or spending time doing it just becomes outrageous. If you want to quit then, please, state that you would like to quit. You are basically arguing with yourself as to whether you want alcohol in your life or not. If the only reason you are quitting is from a fitness standpoint, then consider drinking vodka etc. Either way you want to be in control of your addiction, and make it no longer an addiction. The best way to no longer be an addict is to quit completely. You have to find a reason to quit as well. If you tell yourself it is ok and what you want to do everynight then you won't quit. You talk about lack of energy, stress, etc in your original post. I have found that working out completely voids me of stress and worries. It is definitely something to get your mind on things other than alcohol. I'm sorry if that seemed heartless or compassionless. I respect you for realizing something is wrong, but I have firsthand the effects of abuse, addiction, or first time consumtion, and have no pity for decisions people make in this regard. I still choose to be pro alcohol in the midst of the hell I have seen it cause. You and only you can logically decide what you want to do from here. Once you make a decision there is help, but no one can decide for you.

[BabyBel2]

I won't patronise you and say 'oh yeaaah i know how you must feel' because actually i don't. However, the way you talk about alcohol is the way i was with food. I live on my own and my close friends are married with children so i'd usually just spend the evenings doing nothing but eating crap. I'd think to myself, i've had a sh*t day so i'm gonna treat myself.....but that was everyday and before you know it i was a friggin fat miserable mess.
Sometimes its hard to admit you have a problem but its the first step to success.
I didn't want to admit that i was a fat, unhealthy 24 year old but there is only so much bullsh*t you can tell yourself.

What i did was step my training up, i've never worked out so much or so hard in my life but the change in how i look and feel (and how people treat me now) is amazing and thats what makes me not want to go back to my sad lifestyle again.

You have to find something that gives you a push to change. You say your educated on what you need to do (which most of us are when we have a problem) so you just need to grit your teeth and do it for you and your kids.

[digitalbath11]

I'm also not going to pretend that I know "exactly" how you feel, however, alcoholism plagues my family and I have a "close" relationship with the disease.

The true definition of an alcoholic, is a person who not only drinks in a regular basis but is also someone who lets alcohol interfere and affect areas of your life like your work, children, relationships with friends or family, even something like personal hygene, etc. I'm not saying you have all or ANY of these, just establishing the definition.

Regardless of your personal struggle with alcohol, or if you are even an alcoholic or not, it sounds to me like the root of your regular drinking comes from a lack of knowing how to deal with day-to-day stress. You mentioned that once you're done with the day, you put your daughter to sleep, and you need a beer (or more) to relax. It is a habit you have created and habits are hard to break, but not impossible. First, all I can recommend is that you begin a more productive way to deal with your time alone at night, and handle the stress of the day with a more productive activity. Obviously, you'll have to find what that "something" is, because I dont know if you're into reading, or yoga, or watching a comedy movie, or whatever it is. Maybe it's reaching out to a friend and talking about a bunch of nothing for an hour, who knows. Find an alternative to sitting around and drinking. The second most important thing you need to do, is STOP buying the stuff. If you let it sit in your house, it will plague you. Next time you're at the grocery or convenience store, do not get it. Write it down in a piece of paper, and carry it around with you. Write down how it makes you feel, and how much it bothers you to have to go through this. Touch it, read it, remind yourself that it is there. If you lose it, write it again. Find some way to listen to your own reasoning, and shut down that little evil subconcious telling you that it's harmless. Lastly, find the courage to tell someone you know about what you're going through. Maybe a brother, sister, mother, cousin, best friend, but someone with accountability to your life. Trust me, they will love nothing more than to help you, or just be there for you when you are "weak", even if you don't say it exactly as such. But be HONEST. We're very social beings by nature, and you need to accept that, and realize that you cannot do everything alone. Trust me, I visit my family once a week too, but that doesn't cut it as far as socializing. Find groups of other single mothers, or join a gym and put your face out there somehow! It'll help so much!

I hope you find the answers and resolution that you're looking for. I'm also sorry if I'm completely off base. That's the risk you run when you ask a forum though. Like I said, reach out to someone you know. It'll make such a difference!

good luck!

[Chicharrones]

Originally Posted by digitalbath11

I'm also not going to pretend that I know "exactly" how you feel, however, alcoholism plagues my family and I have a "close" relationship with the disease.

The true definition of an alcoholic, is a person who not only drinks in a regular basis but is also someone who lets alcohol interfere and affect areas of your life like your work, children, relationships with friends or family, even something like personal hygene, etc. I'm not saying you have all or ANY of these, just establishing the definition.

Regardless of your personal struggle with alcohol, or if you are even an alcoholic or not, it sounds to me like the root of your regular drinking comes from a lack of knowing how to deal with day-to-day stress. You mentioned that once you're done with the day, you put your daughter to sleep, and you need a beer (or more) to relax. It is a habit you have created and habits are hard to break, but not impossible. First, all I can recommend is that you begin a more productive way to deal with your time alone at night, and handle the stress of the day with a more productive activity. Obviously, you'll have to find what that "something" is, because I dont know if you're into reading, or yoga, or watching a comedy movie, or whatever it is. Maybe it's reaching out to a friend and talking about a bunch of nothing for an hour, who knows. Find an alternative to sitting around and drinking. The second most important thing you need to do, is STOP buying the stuff. If you let it sit in your house, it will plague you. Next time you're at the grocery or convenience store, do not get it. Write it down in a piece of paper, and carry it around with you. Write down how it makes you feel, and how much it bothers you to have to go through this. Touch it, read it, remind yourself that it is there. If you lose it, write it again. Find some way to listen to your own reasoning, and shut down that little evil subconcious telling you that it's harmless. Lastly, find the courage to tell someone you know about what you're going through. Maybe a brother, sister, mother, cousin, best friend, but someone with accountability to your life. Trust me, they will love nothing more than to help you, or just be there for you when you are "weak", even if you don't say it exactly as such. But be HONEST. We're very social beings by nature, and you need to accept that, and realize that you cannot do everything alone. Trust me, I visit my family once a week too, but that doesn't cut it as far as socializing. Find groups of other single mothers, or join a gym and put your face out there somehow! It'll help so much!

I hope you find the answers and resolution that you're looking for. I'm also sorry if I'm completely off base. That's the risk you run when you ask a forum though. Like I said, reach out to someone you know. It'll make such a difference!

good luck!

No, you're right on! Thank you, that is helpful

I do want to quit. It's waste of my time and money and good sleep! My main thing is feeling like I have no control over it. I know I do. I know I can just walk right by and not buy it, it's my choice but just like I make up excuses to not go to the gym, I make excuses to get the beer. I think the one characteristic I admire in a lot of people is control and I feel I don't and would like to have it.

I suppose today is a new day and I have to start making the right choices. I have to figure out another way to deal with my stress. I do like the note idea...that's good

[Revmachine21]

You've admitted to yourself that your drinking has reached a point where you are uncomfortable with your own behavior. You've come out to the forum here.

The next step would be asking for help in modifying your behavior from professionals and/or those familiar with addiction treatment.

I'm thinking contacting your personal physician, or going to an AA meeting, or speaking to your family priest/pastor.


You should feel proud of yourself right now. Time to make the next step while you have momentum.

[Jessica29]

Originally Posted by Revmachine21

You've admitted to yourself that your drinking has reached a point where you are uncomfortable with your own behavior. You've come out to the forum here.

The next step would be asking for help in modifying your behavior from professionals and/or those familiar with addiction treatment.

I'm thinking contacting your personal physician, or going to an AA meeting, or speaking to your family priest/pastor.


You should feel proud of yourself right now. Time to make the next step while you have momentum.

^Well said. You are recognizing there is something not right here.. so now you have the ability to do something about it!

[Chicharrones]

Originally Posted by Jessica29

^Well said. You are recognizing there is something not right here.. so now you have the ability to do something about it!

Thanks ladies, I appreciate the support. I'm feeling a lot better and I'm working on dealing with my stress in a different manner. It's a work in progress but it feels good to just let it all out

[MetalMommy]

when my hubby was oversea's for a year and i was playing isngle mom...i got a little emo sometimes and i started drinking wine all the time when my kid was asleep.....

eventually i realized i cant do this.....i cant do this to myself and to my family.....so everytime i wanted a drink....i would play a game with my daughter...if she was asleep i would write my hubby a mushy note to put in a care package for him....just distract yourself from it, keep busy and eventually the habit fades a bit.

or find another vice that is healthy. for me my vice now...belly dance. i love it. its healthy, its feminine and sensual but not slutty, its empowering, its great for your hips/abs/arms/bootie/posture etc etc.

find a healthy vice

[CATRACCOM]

I've got a nice stressful job with a kid and I take care of my grandmother too. Sometimes finding motivation is hard. I've been where you are. Things that I have found that help are keeping a solid routine or schedule. I get up every morning a exercise and that sets the mood for the day. I do it whether I want to or not. To chill out at night, I have some tea. Valerian tea is nice and calming. It makes me sleepy like beer. I think I have a beer about twice a month if that now. There are other things that you can do besides drinking. Don't stay up too late.
You can do it! Just keep remember how good you feel when you're on the right track.

[iflyjets]

As far as sleeping goes, try out melatonin pills. Much better than using alcohol as a sedative. Melatonin doesn't leave me drowsy in the morning either. You can get them at any supplement store or even grocery in most cases.

I just always think about how horrible I feel the next morning after even a beer buzz the night prior. I just always feel "off". Just think of how you don't want to cheat your body out of it's potential to run on all cylinders.

[dunkonu9]

Originally Posted by MetalMommy

when my hubby was oversea's for a year and i was playing isngle mom...i got a little emo sometimes and i started drinking wine all the time when my kid was asleep.....

eventually i realized i cant do this.....i cant do this to myself and to my family.....so everytime i wanted a drink....i would play a game with my daughter...if she was asleep i would write my hubby a mushy note to put in a care package for him....just distract yourself from it, keep busy and eventually the habit fades a bit.

or find another vice that is healthy. for me my vice now...belly dance. i love it. its healthy, its feminine and sensual but not slutty, its empowering, its great for your hips/abs/arms/bootie/posture etc etc.

find a healthy vice

haha when I am gone my wife does the same thing drink that is. I bet I have not drank with her 10 times in 10 years but she was putting it away when I am gone.

I will let her read this maybe I can get some sexy belly dancing videos or steamy letters to help me pass the time while I am there.



For the op

Beer is my vice too. I like to drink a few everynight. Long days at work plus I hate 99% of the people I work with so it is not like I enjoy work. It mainly affects my eating because we have to work out the first two hours of everyday at work. You can get past it just make sure you put yourself on an even workout to payback yourself for any drinks you have.

[ITriedSoHard]

Subbed to read later. Going to the bar (no irony)

[Xerophilous]

Originally Posted by Chicharrones

I think I am one. As much as I love being in shape and eating healthy and feeling good, I let my weakness for alcohol get me. I find my job pretty stressful and when I get home, I feel I deserve a beer. A few months ago, I ended up long term relationship and used that as my catalyst to get back in to the gym and I did, I was doing really well. Since then, my feelings of "proving" myself have slowed down and I've drifted back into a lifestyle of stress, laziness and exhaustion. I play a lot of volleyball so I guess I consider that my weakly workout but I'm smarter than that and know I need to do more.

I'm educated on what I need to do and what I need to eat but this beer demon has its claws dug into me. I feel like I'm waiting for my next catalyst. Needless to say, I'm not a self-motivator. On top of that, no one knows how much I actually drink. I'm a single mom with not many friends and only see my family on the weekends. So really, nobody knows...except everyone here now. If you have any encouragement to offer, let me know! It would be very much appreciated. I do realize I'm the only one that can stop this...actually I'm afraid it has gotten past that.

Thanks!

Rachel

LOL I give you a 10 for honesty! Very simple! JUST STOP DRINKING!

[jd70]

yeah, i agree with xero! just stop drinking. try reading stories or information about disadvantages of alcoholic products and how to prevent from drinking it.

[tiff_7_17]

Originally Posted by Xerophilous

LOL I give you a 10 for honesty! Very simple! JUST STOP DRINKING!

I really like that some people are giving you supportive albeit honest responses and opinions...but childish immature answers like this are not necessary for someone reaching out to others for advice.

You may have a drinking problem. You may not, and it may be a temporary coping mechanism for you. I'm sure you are sitting there hoping that it is the latter.

I am not an alcoholic but my mother and sister are both recovered alcoholics with many years of sobriety between them. My daycare growing up was AA meetings, so i've been to a few of them, and I know my way around the program.

IF you do have a drinking problem - and remember, this is not defined by how much or how often you drink...that is irrelevant (albeit most alcoholics drink either more often or more quantities than are considered 'socially acceptable'). At the end of the day, alcoholism has to do with whether or not you have a dependency on it. Can you stop on your own? Does the thought of stopping stress you out? It's cues like these that you need to pay attention to and come to your own conclusions.

And, if you do have a problem, there are solutions so don't stress. It probably wouldn't hurt you to hit a meeting. You don't have to talk at all if you don't want to, you can just listen or talk to someone one on one. The first step is realizing it and taking action. Good luck

[MrLJizzle]

Hey nothing wrong wid one beer.. unless ur drinking to get drunk every night then you have a problem.