Teens I bring you the rules of GROWTH

Theniteiswhite · 02-28-2009, 10:18 AM

An admirable amount of protein consumption, or a manly tactic worthy of 'growth' stature.

The number one method of growth is lifting, hands down. But, we have other examples...

EXAMPLES ARE AS FOLLOWS:

"After this intense day of chest and tri's, I'm going to eat this can of tuna and grow like a ****ing weed."

OR, FOR ALCOHOLISM:

"Consuming this whole bottle of black velvet is sure to make me grow. (and black out)" Black outs are also that of growth.

FOR OUR DRUGGY FRIENDS OUT THERE:

*pulling out a bag of weed, the two teenages smile at each other both muttering only one word together in unison....*

"....growth."

Although I do not condone smoking marijuana, it is still a factor of growth. For instance, Michael Phelps just got caught smoking weed. However; he is an olympic gold metalist. Therefore, pot = growth. Way to grow, Michael.

FOR FASHION PURPOSES:

"Wow, John, you are really growing in that back-shirt you have on."

OR, IF SOMEONE IS UNAPPROIATELY FASHIONED:

"Kike, you have a popped collar. That's not how you ****ing grow, douchebag."

FOR GETTING LAID:

"Timmy, you slept with the whole cheerleading squad last night. Way to grow."

FOR A JOB PROMOTION:

"Oh, so you're making fries instead of mopping floors this week? That's the way to grow."

FOR A NICE, RELAXED ENVIROMENT:

"Ah, nothing could make me grow anymore than this dip of tobacco in my mouth and the six vikodin I'm rolling on, as I'm sitting here playing call of duty. Jesus Christ, that's a lot of growth for one setting..."

Growing is typically what real men do, not pussies. So, if you have fear, you need not apply. Grow, or ****ing die. The end.