New Gay Thread (part 2)

[trvlr70]

This event is going on this weekend at Sugar Mountain/Blowing Rock, NC this weekend. I'm going and it should be fun. There some fun events mixed in like a pool party and dance party.

All Southeasterns welcome!!! See you on the slopes.

[FuturMuscleBULL]

Don't bother sweetheart! I got in the best shape of my life on no one looked me in the eyes but ship's crew for the 1st 4 days. The ship was 1/3rd bodybuilders, about 2/3rds coverboy face material, and 100% body class and caste-system dominated. A boatload of Republican closet cases would have been more friendly and welcoming. Each megastud, more beautiful than the last, was more afraid someone he didn't find "hot" would stare at him for a second. One of the ugliest group of humans I have ever witnessed, in the most beautiful bodies imaginable. I DO recommend the singles events.

In the sauna, we ran bets: each man looks in: if ANYONE in the sauna is better looking then him, he enters. If not, he moves on. I was RIGHT 100% of the time. If we all create our own Hell, Atlantis is the gay one! Everyone looking to trade up... I wanted to turn in my gay card and go straight, after 49 years iof torment by straights, it's my own kind which turned me!

The gift is I figured out why I've always NEEDED a muscleguy (was entrapped & THE school *** at a BIG JOCK boarding school) -- had flashbacks mid-breakdown on board. On Atlantis, instead of being persecuted for being gay by big jocks, I was persecuted/sneered at/ignored by big jock gay men for not being built like Lee Priest with Christopher Reeves' face. ALL the big muscle gays were reprogramming their high school years (around the pool) with them as the alphas, so having Omega human **** on the bottom is essential, right? I'll always be good at the role my narcissistic sick **** parents raised me to play: human **** on the bottom of the power and influence system. Consistency.

BOTH all male environments, BOTH enclosed environments from which there is no escape, BOTH 24 hour environs, both catered, both with heavily-stratified class & caste systems based on athleticism and muscle mass and (subconscious) homoeroticism. NO WONDER I HAD A FRIGGIN NERVOUS BREAKDOWN: Atlantis cruises is a carbon copy of my historic abuse environment, except it is ALL gay men. No wonder I returned to the clinical suicide of my high school years: What a FUN week at sea! Still gay; still ALL ALONE AS ALWAYS on a ship of 3000 gay men, mostly single, all
_hideously_ desirable. So what that I worked for 10 years unpaid in gay activism (including when HRC was 2 people at one desk in one room across the hall from my office near the DC housing projects-1980); so what that I suffered as THE school *** so all the butch and jock gays could hide behind me while I got all the injuries; so what that they got affection and sex in secret but no one could even talk to or look at me in public without risk of association. Proving yourself to yourself as an Alpha Muscle Man REQUIRES a class of sexual and emotional untouchables at the bottom who are UNWORTHY of love or affection, and exist only to prop up the self-esteem of the muscle alphas, don't you think? Culture starts in California and heads east. What would gay culture BE without the class distinctions of body type and aesthetics? Why we would just fade into the background of America, I say!

Hey, do any of you think I have any personal baggage or rage with any of this? Huh? Sorry, I won't take it out on you. I'm just very needy. I am damaged goods, clearly, but a sweet guy, brilliant, funny, and OBSCENELY, STINKING rich. Now surealy SOME of you super-big, freaky muscleguys have some personal issues of your own which need cash as much as my psyche needs musclelove to heal...............

Atlantis: Really a great vacation: Nothing helps you lose weight quicker than suicide!

So, now, post-cruise-nightmare, I can forgive myself for wanting & NEEDING musclelove all my life, so now what????? Exorcism? Aversion therapy (Clockwork Orange)? Trips to West Hollywood to buy Steroid Sissies by the hour? I have settled on the behavioral response of looking hardcore for a muscle trophy husband (investing in a man rather than renting a boy), partially because I am a two-digit millionaire and partially because I really am a GREAT husband, and only so-so as a single gay guy. I am 49 and desperate. It is time to lay ALL my cards on the table, including credit cards, or GO HOME! If you know of anyone who might be interested in getting to know me, please refer them to me here or on BigMuscleBears (Travel Junkie). THANKS!

Originally Posted by trvlr70

Those abs are crazy sexy. That's my goal for Winter Party/Atlantis Solstice Cruise in a few weeks.

And that's why I'm attending "Coreblast" at lunch INSTEAD of eating.

[justboo2u]

Originally Posted by mntbikedude

no we are not a bunch of femmy f@@s we are men yes manly men, manly sweaty men, manly sweaty men with just the right amount of body hair. Ok sorry got carried away.

... Men in Tights.... we're BUTCH!

[FuturMuscleBULL]

But very few. I think Kinsey's numbers were < 12% scored Zero on the Kinsey scale. I THINK the same exact proportion as exclusively homosexual.

Originally Posted by kgiodd

lets be freakn honest. there isn't a single 100% straight person out there. everybody in my opinion has a BI curiosity.

[FuturMuscleBULL]

It was hideous and very painful, but I have special issues (see my later posts). Still, I tried VERY hard not to have ANY expectations of anything.

Of course your experiences were very different - that is the point: you are pretty, and pretty people DO NOT SEE THE WORLD occupied by the rest of us. We are invisible, or just like I said, our lives have been sprayed with aerosol instant streetperson. If you look at the lives of fat and unattractive gay men, you will see nothing. How many did you notice on the cruise? All the visible gay men are pretty and athletic and rich and so fashionable, and the rest of us are fictions of our own imagination. That reality was ALL AROUND YOU, and you didn't see it. After I realized I was getting "emotionally sick," I looked around for others in trouble and IMMEDIATELY I saw and met MANY other men in pain and danger on board. Try putting on a prosthetic cleft pallate, go on an Atlantis cruise, and see what you think of "our community" then!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by MiamiSpartan

Wow. WAY different than the experiences we have had. We are by no means in the SoBe young muscle crowd and we found NO attitutude what so ever. On the contrary, we found it to be a very uplifting time where we met lots of wonderful people, whose average age was in the early-mid 40s....
I'm sorry you did not have the same great experience that we did...

[FuturMuscleBULL]

In retrospect, it's a miracle any of us are still alive over here, given all the hazardous spots I mentioned. PLEASE do note that many of America's most toxic, violent, and dangerous areas are quite urban, so don't feel safe just because you're in an American city. (I think Miami is # 1 for dead Brit and German tourists globally, ahead of even Arab states and Thailand!)

Although frankly, The _Vicar_Of_Dibley_ looks an AWFUL LOT like a small West Virginia town to ME! (needs more guns & booze)

Originally Posted by wouldlikemuscle

^^ PBT.. yes please





Neither of you are convincing me at all to want to ever visit rural America!! lol

[gary124]

Originally Posted by FuturMuscleBULL

It was hideous and very painful, but I have special issues (see my later posts). Still, I tried VERY hard not to have ANY expectations of anything.

Of course your experiences were very different - that is the point: you are pretty, and pretty people DO NOT SEE THE WORLD occupied by the rest of us. We are invisible, or just like I said, our lives have been sprayed with aerosol instant streetperson. If you look at the lives of fat and unattractive gay men, you will see nothing. How many did you notice on the cruise? All the visible gay men are pretty and athletic and rich and so fashionable, and the rest of us are fictions of our own imagination. That reality was ALL AROUND YOU, and you didn't see it. After I realized I was getting "emotionally sick," I looked around for others in trouble and IMMEDIATELY I saw and met MANY other men in pain and danger on board. Try putting on a prosthetic cleft pallate, go on an Atlantis cruise, and see what you think of "our community" then!!!!!!!!!!

I think your experience is youth in general. It is not just the gay community. I agree we may focus on our youth and bodies, but that is the case in the single straight world. I know my parents were children of the 60's and talking with them, they did have their fun. However, their lives changed. If you ask them if they would like to go out and party or just lay by a pool, they pick pool. I myself would never want to party with my parents; however, I love to sit down and talk about their life experiences. Some of my best friends are older gay men, they are great to hang out with, talk, drink, but I don't want to go to the clubs with them. This is my perspective. I do want you to know that I personally do not discount older gay men.

[trvlr70]

[QUOTE=FuturMuscleBULL;284302301]Hey, do any of you think I have any personal baggage or rage with any of this? Huh? Sorry, I won't take it out on you. I'm just very needy. I am damaged goods, clearly, but a sweet guy, brilliant, funny, and OBSCENELY, STINKING rich. QUOTE]

WOW! This post made me very sad. It is painful to imagine you feeling so isolated and lonely on the cruise. I'm not going to try to dispute what you've said because everyone's individual perceptions are their own reality. I've never been on an Atlantis cruise, but I'm been to about 101 circuit events...which are essentially the same crowd. My experience is about the exact opposite. In the gay masses, I feel a heightened sense of emotional warmth and self-acceptance. I'm not the best looking guy with the best body, but I'm quite self-assured and a true extrovert. I have no problems talking or approaching anybody. I'm also so positive that I can appear naive. [Note: I have a partner and we're monogomous] That being said, I'm a big flirt who self-admittedly realizes attention does wonders for my self esteem. Perhaps this is just not your environment? In any case, you probably should not condemn an entire industry just because you had a rotten time. I'm sure I'll have the time of my life.

[cowboyathlete]

I have no desire to attend a circuit party or a gay cruise. Where do I turn in my gay card?

[trvlr70]

Originally Posted by cowboyathlete

I have no desire to attend a circuit party or a gay cruise. Where do I turn in my gay card?

No worries, baby. Differnt strokes for different folks.

[Gemini6Ice]

Originally Posted by FuturMuscleBULL

It was hideous and very painful, but I have special issues (see my later posts). Still, I tried VERY hard not to have ANY expectations of anything.

Of course your experiences were very different - that is the point: you are pretty, and pretty people DO NOT SEE THE WORLD occupied by the rest of us. We are invisible, or just like I said, our lives have been sprayed with aerosol instant streetperson. If you look at the lives of fat and unattractive gay men, you will see nothing. How many did you notice on the cruise? All the visible gay men are pretty and athletic and rich and so fashionable, and the rest of us are fictions of our own imagination. That reality was ALL AROUND YOU, and you didn't see it. After I realized I was getting "emotionally sick," I looked around for others in trouble and IMMEDIATELY I saw and met MANY other men in pain and danger on board. Try putting on a prosthetic cleft pallate, go on an Atlantis cruise, and see what you think of "our community" then!!!!!!!!!!

I don't understand why you would want to put yourself in the middle of a miserable "vacation" surrounded by vapidness? These are just a few of my reasons for not clubbing or partying at all. I prefer scenes where people care about more than getting laid.

[trvlr70]

Originally Posted by Gemini6Ice

I prefer scenes where people care about more than getting laid.

Trust me. There are a lot of men with that agenda on a cruise.

[Superion]

Originally Posted by trvlr70

Trust me. There are a lot of men with that agenda on a cruise.

And they are the one that usually know how to have fun. People who go out to circuit parties, clubs etc... just to get laid are usually one that come home alone having an exhausting night and did not have fun.

Next time you out... try and enjoy yourself, forget about getting laid. Well it seems to work for me, i don't care if i come home alone, at least i had fun. But most of the time, when people see you are having fun they like to surround themselves with you and you could always show them another level of fun once the party finish up.

[trvlr70]

Originally Posted by Superion

. But most of the time, when people see you are having fun they like to surround themselves with you and you could always show them another level of fun once the party finish up.

Well said, young man.

*beaming with pride*

[Superion]

Originally Posted by Gabriel Anton

Go suck on an Aids dick

You are an absolute jerk. How much lower can you get?



http://img90.imageshack.us/my.php?image=89343173dl4.png

[Want2BeStrong]

I'm not much for the club scene either. I am also a huge introvert.

Although, if I had more gay friends who invited me to go clubbing, I would probably go along and have a good time. But I wouldn't feel comfortable going on a cruise or to a club without bringing a friend or knowing somebody else there. I rarely start conversations with strangers (see: introvert), but am more than happy to talk to others when I am approached.

[1.8Tsunami]

Originally Posted by Superion

You are an absolute jerk. How much lower can you get?



http://img90.imageshack.us/my.php?image=89343173dl4.png

Wow, what a bitch move...don't worry about him...what's that jay z song....got 99 problems but....

[Gemini6Ice]

Originally Posted by Superion

You are an absolute jerk. How much lower can you get?



http://img90.imageshack.us/my.php?image=89343173dl4.png

Remember, that's what reputation is for.

[atticus_a]

Originally Posted by FuturMuscleBULL

Don't bother sweetheart! I got in the best shape of my life on no one looked me in the eyes but ship's crew for the 1st 4 days. The ship was 1/3rd bodybuilders, about 2/3rds coverboy face material, and 100% body class and caste-system dominated. A boatload of Republican closet cases would have been more friendly and welcoming. Each megastud, more beautiful than the last, was more afraid someone he didn't find "hot" would stare at him for a second. One of the ugliest group of humans I have ever witnessed, in the most beautiful bodies imaginable. I DO recommend the singles events.

In the sauna, we ran bets: each man looks in: if ANYONE in the sauna is better looking then him, he enters. If not, he moves on. I was RIGHT 100% of the time. If we all create our own Hell, Atlantis is the gay one! Everyone looking to trade up... I wanted to turn in my gay card and go straight, after 49 years iof torment by straights, it's my own kind which turned me!

The gift is I figured out why I've always NEEDED a muscleguy (was entrapped & THE school *** at a BIG JOCK boarding school) -- had flashbacks mid-breakdown on board. On Atlantis, instead of being persecuted for being gay by big jocks, I was persecuted/sneered at/ignored by big jock gay men for not being built like Lee Priest with Christopher Reeves' face. ALL the big muscle gays were reprogramming their high school years (around the pool) with them as the alphas, so having Omega human **** on the bottom is essential, right? I'll always be good at the role my narcissistic sick **** parents raised me to play: human **** on the bottom of the power and influence system. Consistency.

BOTH all male environments, BOTH enclosed environments from which there is no escape, BOTH 24 hour environs, both catered, both with heavily-stratified class & caste systems based on athleticism and muscle mass and (subconscious) homoeroticism. NO WONDER I HAD A FRIGGIN NERVOUS BREAKDOWN: Atlantis cruises is a carbon copy of my historic abuse environment, except it is ALL gay men. No wonder I returned to the clinical suicide of my high school years: What a FUN week at sea! Still gay; still ALL ALONE AS ALWAYS on a ship of 3000 gay men, mostly single, all
_hideously_ desirable. So what that I worked for 10 years unpaid in gay activism (including when HRC was 2 people at one desk in one room across the hall from my office near the DC housing projects-1980); so what that I suffered as THE school *** so all the butch and jock gays could hide behind me while I got all the injuries; so what that they got affection and sex in secret but no one could even talk to or look at me in public without risk of association. Proving yourself to yourself as an Alpha Muscle Man REQUIRES a class of sexual and emotional untouchables at the bottom who are UNWORTHY of love or affection, and exist only to prop up the self-esteem of the muscle alphas, don't you think? Culture starts in California and heads east. What would gay culture BE without the class distinctions of body type and aesthetics? Why we would just fade into the background of America, I say!

Hey, do any of you think I have any personal baggage or rage with any of this? Huh? Sorry, I won't take it out on you. I'm just very needy. I am damaged goods, clearly, but a sweet guy, brilliant, funny, and OBSCENELY, STINKING rich. Now surealy SOME of you super-big, freaky muscleguys have some personal issues of your own which need cash as much as my psyche needs musclelove to heal...............

Atlantis: Really a great vacation: Nothing helps you lose weight quicker than suicide!

So, now, post-cruise-nightmare, I can forgive myself for wanting & NEEDING musclelove all my life, so now what????? Exorcism? Aversion therapy (Clockwork Orange)? Trips to West Hollywood to buy Steroid Sissies by the hour? I have settled on the behavioral response of looking hardcore for a muscle trophy husband (investing in a man rather than renting a boy), partially because I am a two-digit millionaire and partially because I really am a GREAT husband, and only so-so as a single gay guy. I am 49 and desperate. It is time to lay ALL my cards on the table, including credit cards, or GO HOME! If you know of anyone who might be interested in getting to know me, please refer them to me here or on BigMuscleBears (Travel Junkie). THANKS!

Not to be an ass or anything. But I think that you need to take some of the cash and invest into some therapy. You mentioned needy. That is what I see, emotional dysregulation, and poor coping skills.

Most of us didn't have the dream of a life but seriously casting yourself as a victim is not helpful and probably inappropriate. You seem to be every bit as superficial as the guys that you covet.

You are alone because you want a certain guy. You will not lower your standards that is why you are alone. You want others to see your inner attractiveness perhaps you need to be attractive on your inside as well. Being unable to regulate your emotions and cope with problems makes you terribly unattractive in my opinion.

You might see me as a jerk but you know what I care enough to tell you to suck it up, get help, and move on because that is what you need to do.

[mdocruz]

Originally Posted by john_cubsfan

I just love Thursday. Now it is time to get back to work.

:^)~

[Gemini6Ice]

Originally Posted by atticus_a

But I think that you need to take some of the cash and invest into some therapy.

If you have health insurance, therapy isn't that expensive anyway.

[1.8Tsunami]

Originally Posted by FuturMuscleBULL

Don't bother sweetheart! I got in the best shape of my life on no one looked me in the eyes but ship's crew for the 1st 4 days. The ship was 1/3rd bodybuilders, about 2/3rds coverboy face material, and 100% body class and caste-system dominated. A boatload of Republican closet cases would have been more friendly and welcoming. Each megastud, more beautiful than the last, was more afraid someone he didn't find "hot" would stare at him for a second. One of the ugliest group of humans I have ever witnessed, in the most beautiful bodies imaginable. I DO recommend the singles events.

In the sauna, we ran bets: each man looks in: if ANYONE in the sauna is better looking then him, he enters. If not, he moves on. I was RIGHT 100% of the time. If we all create our own Hell, Atlantis is the gay one! Everyone looking to trade up... I wanted to turn in my gay card and go straight, after 49 years iof torment by straights, it's my own kind which turned me!

The gift is I figured out why I've always NEEDED a muscleguy (was entrapped & THE school *** at a BIG JOCK boarding school) -- had flashbacks mid-breakdown on board. On Atlantis, instead of being persecuted for being gay by big jocks, I was persecuted/sneered at/ignored by big jock gay men for not being built like Lee Priest with Christopher Reeves' face. ALL the big muscle gays were reprogramming their high school years (around the pool) with them as the alphas, so having Omega human **** on the bottom is essential, right? I'll always be good at the role my narcissistic sick **** parents raised me to play: human **** on the bottom of the power and influence system. Consistency.

BOTH all male environments, BOTH enclosed environments from which there is no escape, BOTH 24 hour environs, both catered, both with heavily-stratified class & caste systems based on athleticism and muscle mass and (subconscious) homoeroticism. NO WONDER I HAD A FRIGGIN NERVOUS BREAKDOWN: Atlantis cruises is a carbon copy of my historic abuse environment, except it is ALL gay men. No wonder I returned to the clinical suicide of my high school years: What a FUN week at sea! Still gay; still ALL ALONE AS ALWAYS on a ship of 3000 gay men, mostly single, all
_hideously_ desirable. So what that I worked for 10 years unpaid in gay activism (including when HRC was 2 people at one desk in one room across the hall from my office near the DC housing projects-1980); so what that I suffered as THE school *** so all the butch and jock gays could hide behind me while I got all the injuries; so what that they got affection and sex in secret but no one could even talk to or look at me in public without risk of association. Proving yourself to yourself as an Alpha Muscle Man REQUIRES a class of sexual and emotional untouchables at the bottom who are UNWORTHY of love or affection, and exist only to prop up the self-esteem of the muscle alphas, don't you think? Culture starts in California and heads east. What would gay culture BE without the class distinctions of body type and aesthetics? Why we would just fade into the background of America, I say!

Hey, do any of you think I have any personal baggage or rage with any of this? Huh? Sorry, I won't take it out on you. I'm just very needy. I am damaged goods, clearly, but a sweet guy, brilliant, funny, and OBSCENELY, STINKING rich. Now surealy SOME of you super-big, freaky muscleguys have some personal issues of your own which need cash as much as my psyche needs musclelove to heal...............

Atlantis: Really a great vacation: Nothing helps you lose weight quicker than suicide!

So, now, post-cruise-nightmare, I can forgive myself for wanting & NEEDING musclelove all my life, so now what????? Exorcism? Aversion therapy (Clockwork Orange)? Trips to West Hollywood to buy Steroid Sissies by the hour? I have settled on the behavioral response of looking hardcore for a muscle trophy husband (investing in a man rather than renting a boy), partially because I am a two-digit millionaire and partially because I really am a GREAT husband, and only so-so as a single gay guy. I am 49 and desperate. It is time to lay ALL my cards on the table, including credit cards, or GO HOME! If you know of anyone who might be interested in getting to know me, please refer them to me here or on BigMuscleBears (Travel Junkie). THANKS!

This...

Originally Posted by atticus_a

Not to be an ass or anything. But I think that you need to take some of the cash and invest into some therapy. You mentioned needy. That is what I see, emotional dysregulation, and poor coping skills.

Most of us didn't have the dream of a life but seriously casting yourself as a victim is not helpful and probably inappropriate. You seem to be every bit as superficial as the guys that you covet.

You are alone because you want a certain guy. You will not lower your standards that is why you are alone. You want others to see your inner attractiveness perhaps you need to be attractive on your inside as well. Being unable to regulate your emotions and cope with problems makes you terribly unattractive in my opinion.

You might see me as a jerk but you know what I care enough to tell you to suck it up, get help, and move on because that is what you need to do.

couldn't have said it better

FWIW, I checked out your profile futurBullMuscle...if you had such a bad time why are you going on another gay cruise?

[MiamiSpartan]

Seems like people who go on them looking to just hook up, end up disapointed....
Those who go on to have a great time, make good friends, and talk to people, end up having a great time...
Why would someone pay all that money just to hang out in a sauna, and try to get someone's attention? You can do that in the baths back home....
Makes not sense to me...

[Gabriel Anton]

Originally Posted by 1.8Tsunami

Wow, what a bitch move...don't worry about him...what's that jay z song....got 99 problems but....

Whatever

go make love to another big mac

[dude57]

Google the names below, check out what they wore, and maybe you can come up with some examples of what to wear, or maybe you can even come up with your own style. The names on the lists below range from historical figures all the way up to living people. The lists are from different sources.


* Alexander the Great
* James Baldwin
* Lance Bass
* Boy George
* Alan Cumming
* Leonardo Da Vinci
* Rupert Everett
* Neil Patrick Harris
* Rock Hudson
* Elton John
* T R Knight
* Greg Louganis
* Michelangelo
* Cole Porter
* Socrates
* Rufus Wainwright
* Walt Whitman
* Tennessee Williams
* BD Wong

and

Aaron Copland
Allen Ginsberg
Andrew Sullivan
Armistead Maupin
Barney Frank
Bob Paris
Brian Epstein
Bruce Vilanch
Charles Nelson Riley
Christopher Isherwood
Dan Savage
David Kopay
David Geffen
Dick Sargent
Dr. Tom Waddell
Edmund White
Edward Albee
Gerry Studds
Gus Van Sant
Harvey Fierstein
Harvey Milk
Henry (Harry) Hay, Jr.
Horatio Alger Jr.
Ian McKellen
James Coco
Jeff Stryker
Jerome Robbins
John Rechy
John Cage
John Waters
Johnny Mathis
Keith Haring
Larry Kramer
Liberace
Matthew Shepard
Merv Griffin
Michael Bennett
Michelangelo Signorile
Montgomery Clift
Noel Coward
Paul Lynde
Pedro Aldomovar
Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Pier Paolo Pasolini
Quentin Crisp
Richard Simmons
Robert Reed
Robert Mapplethorpe
RuPaul
Scott Thompson
Sir Ian McKellen
Sir John Gielgud
Sir Noel Coward
Troy D. Perry
Truman Capote
William Taten (Bill) Tilden

[justboo2u]

Originally Posted by atticus_a

Not to be an ass or anything. But I think that you need to take some of the cash and invest into some therapy. You mentioned needy. That is what I see, emotional dysregulation, and poor coping skills.

Most of us didn't have the dream of a life but seriously casting yourself as a victim is not helpful and probably inappropriate. You seem to be every bit as superficial as the guys that you covet.

You are alone because you want a certain guy. You will not lower your standards that is why you are alone. You want others to see your inner attractiveness perhaps you need to be attractive on your inside as well. Being unable to regulate your emotions and cope with problems makes you terribly unattractive in my opinion.

You might see me as a jerk but you know what I care enough to tell you to suck it up, get help, and move on because that is what you need to do.

I see you as a jerk, but one that is not completely wrong...

Knowing an 'internal' problem exists and expecting to adjust for it 'externally' is defective...
Attempting to correct the internal issue with external influence is just as defective...
Futurbull... please understand... I have enuf problems that I relate to what you experience... tho not quite in the same way... I can only say that you must 'somehow' cultivate that 'internal worth' that you SEEM to lack in order to cast off the severe external effects you seem to bring into your circle...

PM me if you want... If you happen to b in the PS area on WE or TH I'd be happy to visit w/ you in person!

[thickmass]

Originally Posted by FuturMuscleBULL

Don't bother sweetheart! I got in the best shape of my life on no one looked me in the eyes but ship's crew for the 1st 4 days. The ship was 1/3rd bodybuilders, about 2/3rds coverboy face material, and 100% body class and caste-system dominated. A boatload of Republican closet cases would have been more friendly and welcoming. Each megastud, more beautiful than the last, was more afraid someone he didn't find "hot" would stare at him for a second. One of the ugliest group of humans I have ever witnessed, in the most beautiful bodies imaginable. I DO recommend the singles events.

In the sauna, we ran bets: each man looks in: if ANYONE in the sauna is better looking then him, he enters. If not, he moves on. I was RIGHT 100% of the time. If we all create our own Hell, Atlantis is the gay one! Everyone looking to trade up... I wanted to turn in my gay card and go straight, after 49 years iof torment by straights, it's my own kind which turned me!

The gift is I figured out why I've always NEEDED a muscleguy (was entrapped & THE school *** at a BIG JOCK boarding school) -- had flashbacks mid-breakdown on board. On Atlantis, instead of being persecuted for being gay by big jocks, I was persecuted/sneered at/ignored by big jock gay men for not being built like Lee Priest with Christopher Reeves' face. ALL the big muscle gays were reprogramming their high school years (around the pool) with them as the alphas, so having Omega human **** on the bottom is essential, right? I'll always be good at the role my narcissistic sick **** parents raised me to play: human **** on the bottom of the power and influence system. Consistency.

BOTH all male environments, BOTH enclosed environments from which there is no escape, BOTH 24 hour environs, both catered, both with heavily-stratified class & caste systems based on athleticism and muscle mass and (subconscious) homoeroticism. NO WONDER I HAD A FRIGGIN NERVOUS BREAKDOWN: Atlantis cruises is a carbon copy of my historic abuse environment, except it is ALL gay men. No wonder I returned to the clinical suicide of my high school years: What a FUN week at sea! Still gay; still ALL ALONE AS ALWAYS on a ship of 3000 gay men, mostly single, all
_hideously_ desirable. So what that I worked for 10 years unpaid in gay activism (including when HRC was 2 people at one desk in one room across the hall from my office near the DC housing projects-1980); so what that I suffered as THE school *** so all the butch and jock gays could hide behind me while I got all the injuries; so what that they got affection and sex in secret but no one could even talk to or look at me in public without risk of association. Proving yourself to yourself as an Alpha Muscle Man REQUIRES a class of sexual and emotional untouchables at the bottom who are UNWORTHY of love or affection, and exist only to prop up the self-esteem of the muscle alphas, don't you think? Culture starts in California and heads east. What would gay culture BE without the class distinctions of body type and aesthetics? Why we would just fade into the background of America, I say!

Hey, do any of you think I have any personal baggage or rage with any of this? Huh? Sorry, I won't take it out on you. I'm just very needy. I am damaged goods, clearly, but a sweet guy, brilliant, funny, and OBSCENELY, STINKING rich. Now surealy SOME of you super-big, freaky muscleguys have some personal issues of your own which need cash as much as my psyche needs musclelove to heal...............

Atlantis: Really a great vacation: Nothing helps you lose weight quicker than suicide!

So, now, post-cruise-nightmare, I can forgive myself for wanting & NEEDING musclelove all my life, so now what????? Exorcism? Aversion therapy (Clockwork Orange)? Trips to West Hollywood to buy Steroid Sissies by the hour? I have settled on the behavioral response of looking hardcore for a muscle trophy husband (investing in a man rather than renting a boy), partially because I am a two-digit millionaire and partially because I really am a GREAT husband, and only so-so as a single gay guy. I am 49 and desperate. It is time to lay ALL my cards on the table, including credit cards, or GO HOME! If you know of anyone who might be interested in getting to know me, please refer them to me here or on BigMuscleBears (Travel Junkie). THANKS!

You sound just like an ex of mine.

He'd had a breakdown and could not function properly in society.

[justboo2u]

Was at a bar tonite, and spent most of the time, as usual, aloof and alone, aknowledging glances and looks that suggested more than curiosity in my dress (as many seemed to be 'partnered') and went to the bar...

Where an interesting guy in a ribbed turtleneck sweater (details of questionable value... ) asked if I danced... to which I replied 'rarely'...


After I realized it wasn't as much a question as a request, I did... and had some fun...

He made a comment that he needed to 'excuse himself from someone if I wanted' and I okayed it... developing questions all the while.

He departed the dance floor and I did too... taking a perch by the exit door with my drink...
Shortly I saw him at about the same place where we met... and he wandered for a short time, stopping to talk with another at the bar right across from me...

I gave hime time to get a conversation going, then walked over and whispered 'I'll catch you again when you're not so busy', and walked away...

Later he stopped by the table where I had been standing since leaving the dance floor... I said 'how's things?'... put my empty drink at the bar and left...


That felt SO good!!!!

I may be evil, I know... but honestly, I am NOT that difficult so see.... yet, anyway.
IF there is a next time, he may think twice before 2nd-handing me!

[thickmass]

fuuuuu-uuuuuuck this place is getting full of guys with problems.

Never EVER stand around a bar like a spare prick at a honeymoon, and never EVER do a dummy-spit in public when things don't go your way.

Desperate and classless...

[justboo2u]

Originally Posted by thickmass

fuuuuu-uuuuuuck this place is getting full of guys with problems.

Never EVER stand around a bar like a spare prick at a honeymoon, and never EVER do a dummy-spit in public when things don't go your way.

Desperate and classless...

Sorry to disappoint you!
Nor did I mean to imply it was a problem...