eating disorder/binges - Page 2

genn · 01-24-2009, 11:09 PM

our society

Miranda · 01-24-2009, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megin

There is a reason that many people gravitate toward self-destructive behavior [smoking, drinking, drugs, ED, cutting, lying, cheating, stealing.. you get the idea] ... I just don't know what it is, yet..

um

1. 'i will hurt myself before you can hurt me.'

or perhaps

2. 'i hurt therefore i feel therefore i am.'

and what else . . .

**Emma-Leigh** · 01-25-2009, 02:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miranda

um

1. 'i will hurt myself before you can hurt me.'

or perhaps

2. 'i hurt therefore i feel therefore i am.'

and what else . . .

physical pain = easier to deal with than emotional/psychological distress...
Therefore pain/cutting = easier option

numbness = easier to deal with than emotional/psychological distress...
Therefore drugs/drinking = easier option

getting angry at 'the word' = easier to deal with that 'self-analysis'...
Therefore acting out/ violence = easier option

excessive control = easier to deal with than the anxiety of 'feeling out of controlled'...
Therefore ED = easier option

'sticking head in the sand'/ 'making excuses'/ = easier to deal with than 'facing reality' or 'hard work'...
Therefore cheating/ lying/ 'getting stuck' = easier option

Basically - when it comes to the human brain and body --> 'staying comfortable' (the 'easier option') is usually our 'default' settings.
And, as a result, 'lack of change' is also what 'naturally happens'.

So one has to be willing to 'be uncomfortable' if they want to break that habit and see something change (be that in their body, mind or life in general).

heidismommy · 01-25-2009, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma-Leigh

So one has to be willing to 'be uncomfortable' if they want to break that habit and see something change (be that in their body, mind or life in general).

Agree with that statement 100%.

Jessica29 · 01-25-2009, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genn

our society

100%... I know several girls who are getting it as young as 7th grade.. thats just too young to judge ones own body

heidismommy · 01-25-2009, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica29

100%... I know several girls who are getting it as young as 7th grade.. thats just too young to judge ones own body

Genetics loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger. So it's not the fault of society, but society (and unrealistic standards) certainly doesn't help.

cln1812 · 01-25-2009, 01:58 PM

I've dealt with it also, anorexia when I was in college. At my worst, I was around 80 lb. I've been in recovery since 2000. I believe mine stemmed from sexual abuse by an uncle when I was young; plus, growing up with an angry, verbally abuse father.

Now, I've gotten quite thin again. It's strange because I am eating quite a bit and still losing weight. I think maybe I have a fast metabolism and am breastfeeding and dealing with an extremely attached clingy toddler all day. I had bloodwork done at the doc's and nothing came abnormal. The doc said some women have a hard time hanging on to weight while BF'ing. It is ironic that this would have to happen to me.

I need to gain weight and really stop looking at the scale. That messes with my head a bit, even now. I am going to just get rid of the scale, because it's too tempting to become obsessed by it. I just still have difficulty with the mindset weight gain = bad, weight loss = good even though I know logically for me, I need to gain weight. I tried journalling my meals (I really need to eat more protein, less sugar & processed foods), but it reminded me too much of when I was sick with the ED and also recovery, counting calories, meal plans, etc., so now I'm just trying to total up grams of protein each day and not mess about journalling the rest.

Weight lifting really has helped me become more comfortable with my body; I've got nice abs and arms, and I'm stronger than I have ever been before, but sigh...a total recovery still eludes me a bit mentally. It's a process, and one day I hope to get there.

pecan · 01-25-2009, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cln1812

I tried journalling my meals (I really need to eat more protein, less sugar & processed foods), but it reminded me too much of when I was sick with the ED and also recovery, counting calories, meal plans, etc., so now I'm just trying to total up grams of protein each day and not mess about journalling the rest.

yeah i definitely understand that. the way i see it, you have to keep in mind that managing your macros and focusing on getting certain amounts of each food is another aspect of the sport that is bodybuilding..like how runners keep track of their times, for instance. if you can remember that, it really separates the anxiety and just makes it part of your athletic goals.

of course, it's also not necessary to be too meticulous unless you have a competition coming up or photo shoot or whatever..if anything, focusing less on making an extreme diet makes it easier to reach long-term goals.

heidismommy · 01-25-2009, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cln1812

I need to gain weight and really stop looking at the scale. That messes with my head a bit, even now. I am going to just get rid of the scale, because it's too tempting to become obsessed by it. I just still have difficulty with the mindset weight gain = bad, weight loss = good even though I know logically for me, I need to gain weight. I tried journalling my meals (I really need to eat more protein, less sugar & processed foods), but it reminded me too much of when I was sick with the ED and also recovery, counting calories, meal plans, etc., so now I'm just trying to total up grams of protein each day and not mess about journalling the rest.

I think that when you're still in the process of working towards recovery, counting and tracking calories and macros are a very bad thing. The best thing you could do is to focus on trying to get more protein and try to make better food choices, but not to the point of obsessiveness. It's good to give your body a break and it's necessary to get rid of some of that rigidity in order to break out of that eating disorder cycle. I'm doing far better with food now, but tracking is still a very bad idea. I just get too obsessed, far too easily.

Megin · 01-25-2009, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma-Leigh

Basically - when it comes to the human brain and body --> 'staying comfortable' (the 'easier option') is usually our 'default' settings.
And, as a result, 'lack of change' is also what 'naturally happens'.

'Lack of change' and 'naturally happens' in the same sentence where change in inevitable / unstoppable..therefore natural = contradiction

No wonder there are so many crazies out there!

**Emma-Leigh** · 01-26-2009, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megin

'Lack of change' and 'naturally happens' in the same sentence where change in inevitable / unstoppable..therefore natural = contradiction

No wonder there are so many crazies out there!

^^ T'is exactly right my Meggles....

As you so correctly state -> the world, the body, the mind, your life... love...
likes... wants.... needs... circumstances... relationships...
these things change...

Existence is in a constant state of flux.... a 'process' that 'flows' from one thing to another... trying to 'fight' these differences is about as useful as trying to stop time and 'sticking your head in the sand (or feet in the sand)' and REFUSING to STOP and change direction is only going to land you in trouble.

T'is a far better option to embrace things. Get yourself one step ahead. Be pro-active. SURE it might not be EASY - but at least that way YOU determine what you want, where you want to go, and what you need to do to get it. That is - you play a hand in your own fate...

If you don't - it is often that one is 'forced' to make a decision or make a change... And this often leads people into places that are a poor 'second choice' to what could have been if they had only 'made the choice' when given that earlier opportunity.

Megin · 01-26-2009, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma-Leigh

T'is a far better option to embrace things. Get yourself one step ahead. Be pro-active. SURE it might not be EASY - but at least that way YOU determine what you want, where you want to go, and what you need to do to get it. That is - you play a hand in your own fate...

Can one really play a hand in fate ?
Another contradiction to create spin in the hamster wheel

Sorry Ems - this is the current subject of process, so I may be a bit too inquisitive.. and I like your reasoning.. just trying to understand it

Miranda · 01-26-2009, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megin

Can one really play a hand in fate?

define 'fate'.

a predetermined course of events?

you create the situation you're in.
you are responsible for your own happiness.

if you, under whatever pretext, choose to believe someone or something else directs you, you're basically giving away your autonomy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma

when it comes to the human brain and body --> 'staying comfortable' (the 'easier option') is usually our 'default' settings.

^^ this here.

Megin · 01-26-2009, 02:35 PM

Touche
[I think..]

Except for maybe this part:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miranda

if you, under whatever pretext, choose to believe someone or something else directs you, you're basically giving away your autonomy.

For those who believe in this 'something else' .. they are not giving away their autonomy if they believe it was never theirs to begin with.
^^something you taught me - you make up your own distorted reality

I can learn

Miranda · 01-26-2009, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megin

For those who believe in this 'something else' .. they are not giving away their autonomy if they believe it was never theirs to begin with.

what 'begin'?

children have a very strong tendency to believe what they are told.

why? because they depend on their elders for life.

one would assume once children reach a certain age, reason and logic kick in.
but that is strongly related to the environment (peer pressure, traditions etc.).

two options:

1. i am my own creator. i take full responsibility for my actions and the consequences.
2. i give my life to X. X will take care of me and give me hints.

it is a very basic, almost feeble difference to many, but it is distinct.
it is the simple stuff that matters and all else is fluff

one can feel 'uncomfortable' << at the very thought of dissecting the above further.
because it is 'easier' << to stick to nr. 2.

Quote:

you make up your own distorted reality

it is still a choice, no?

**Emma-Leigh** · 01-30-2009, 04:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miranda

what 'begin'?

children have a very strong tendency to believe what they are told.

why? because they depend on their elders for life.

one would assume once children reach a certain age, reason and logic kick in.
but that is strongly related to the environment (peer pressure, traditions etc.).

two options:

1. i am my own creator. i take full responsibility for my actions and the consequences.
2. i give my life to X. X will take care of me and give me hints.

it is a very basic, almost feeble difference to many, but it is distinct.
it is the simple stuff that matters and all else is fluff

one can feel 'uncomfortable' << at the very thought of dissecting the above further.
because it is 'easier' << to stick to nr. 2.

it is still a choice, no?

I started thinking about this tread again today when flipping through my copy of IronMind: Stronger Minds, Strong Bodies...

I think many here would really enjoy the book - it has a lot of wise words about training and the psychology behind how you can get results through exercising your mind, not just trying to 'fix your body'.

=> One of my favourite quotes which relates to the above:
"Begin wherever you can to prove to yourself that what you do does make a difference, that you can control your situation, that you are the master of your destiny..... Illusory control is better than no control...

"once burned, twice shy" describes the reaction of people who have thoroughly learned helplessness... The way out: teach the victim that he or she really does have control over the environment....

What happens next proves that symmetry of these adaptive links: Just as repeated failures created an expectation of future failure, the success experience created the expectation of future success...

Do whatever is necessary to show yourself that you control even the slightest portion of your destiny and you are well on your way to becoming free of fatalistic limitations...."

"Determination, which comes from belief in your own ability to succeed, is what usually sorts the winners from the losers. Determine that you are going to succeed, and start running your life the way you'd like. Accept some personal responsibility: it's time to take charge"

ainedb · 01-30-2009, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinnett

I speak from experience, b/c I seem to be unable to NOT be strict w/out going overboard on eating...

This is exactly my problem. I've struggled with disordered eating of many sorts for nearly 9 years, and it's this black and white situation that gets me every time. It's either all bad or all good... it's not as though I think, "Oh I've screwed up and so I can just binge binge binge," but rather that if I'm not 100% dead-on with my eating, then I'm 100% off. Therapy and medication are useless. I can only hope someday to find a balance that works for me. Good luck to you all!

jaderuby · 01-31-2009, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma-Leigh

Do whatever is necessary to show yourself that you control even the slightest portion of your destiny and you are well on your way to becoming free of fatalistic limitations...."

"Determination, which comes from belief in your own ability to succeed, is what usually sorts the winners from the losers. Determine that you are going to succeed, and start running your life the way you'd like. Accept some personal responsibility: it's time to take charge"

absoluty agree, but it was precisely that kind of thinking that ironically got me into this mess in the first place.

LauraC821 · 01-31-2009, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica29

I have suffered from an eating disorder.. anorexia...85lbs being my worst.. then I went into a depression because of it.

Today, I am 110 and am in MUCH better shape however.. I do still obsess over food.. I also from time to time get a little depressed. It definately has changed my life a lot and I wish I would just stop obsessing.. it kills me and sometimes I get so frustrated over it.. but why should I?
I feel like it will never go away.. although then again maybe with time it will if I let it.. idk so confusing

But anyways I go to the gym now 5 days a week and I am trying to prove to myself that I do not need to starve myself in order to feel/look good.. the gym has helped me so much and has opened my eyes to a new path.

I agree with what you said completely... I have recovered from being underweight but I still obsess about everything I eat. Its draining at times and I know that I need to lighten up but its hard to find a balance at times... I know I am at a healthy weight and I feel so much better but it still is a struggle... I do feel like eating disorders are something that almost haunts you, its hard to escape it completely.

Jessica29 · 01-31-2009, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LauraC821

I agree with what you said completely... I have recovered from being underweight but I still obsess about everything I eat. Its draining at times and I know that I need to lighten up but its hard to find a balance at times... I know I am at a healthy weight and I feel so much better but it still is a struggle... I do feel like eating disorders are something that almost haunts you, its hard to escape it completely.

Glad to hear you do! Well its not a good thing but still makes it a little better when someone is experiencing the same feelings/thoughts.

I believe it does haunt and like someone else said.. it is a cycle that can easily be triggered. the more I obsess over the gym and eating healthy, and this site!!(even though its great) the more I become frustrated.

Drives my BF nuts because I am forever talking about food but however he does understand where I'm coming from.

Anyways, again.. sometimes I have to catch myself and say to stop obsessing and getting upset. It isn't healthy and.... I've accomplished so much.. why put myself back where I once was! (Not that I will ever go down to that weight again but the other part of it)

Megin · 01-31-2009, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ainedb

Therapy and medication are useless. I can only hope someday to find a balance that works for me.

They may not be the right one just yet .. keep searching
Something about not having failed, just finding 10,000 ways that don't work

aimsee · 02-01-2009, 10:43 PM

I'm so glad I found this thread... I've often visited this site dreaming over having a super fit beautiful physique but have always thought that in order to acheive it I had to starve myself, live on chicken & vegetables and do obsessive amounts of workouts...

I am recovering and have been a chronic starvation dieter/binger/sometimes purger. My body just hit a wall & refused to lose any weight one more time last year, and so I realized my approach is all wrong.

This process is super scary, but I'm hoping those of you who have recovered can give me some pointers...

I am 5'8", 143lbs and about 25.6% bf (eek!)... for the last month I have been going through the "honeymoon" phase of ignoring all meal plans and diets and simply allowing myself to eat whatever I desire. Right now, I am ready for a realistic meal plan/way of eating to help me get my metabolism cranking and to build muscle and lose some of this bodyfat - the healthy way!
I've had the breath rmr test thingy done & I'm at 1445. I'm assuming I need to be consuming around 2000 cal right now for maint... but I'm also trying to implement a good workout routine of 2-3 days of weights & 3 days light cardio.

I'm having crazy low blood sugar issues & my body seems to be asking me for more like 2500 calories - which can't be right!? I'm also crazy bloated and would love to know how long it takes for this bloat to go away, the water weight I've gained to go away and in general about how long until my body wants to kick it into gear and feel good and be able to see some muscle & fat loss.... And any tips for balancing my blood sugar would be awesome! I dont seem to get a lot of energy when eating a lot of protein, so I'm wondering if it's okay to eat higher glycemic so long as I get enough protein???

Thanks!!!!!!

Amy

mimers210 · 02-03-2009, 10:41 PM

Yeah, I totally get what you're talking about. I struggled with anorexia and bulimia for years and when I went into recovery, I started having major binges because it was like 'i can finally eat this, they want me to eat' kind of thing and it ended up turning into a habit of binging every day. I'm seeing a new nutritionist and therapist now and I think the key is not telling yourself you can't have something because then you're more likely to crave it and think you need it. I think it's really helpful to know people in the same boat too, so you can encourage each other to be healthy.
And, as for binges--everyone binges occasionally. Everyone has different measurements of what they consider a binge, but nonetheless, nobody can eat 100% perfectly all the time. People like you and me have to remind ourselves that a binge isn't the end of the world and tomorrow is a new day.

twinnett · 02-04-2009, 04:15 AM

I have struggled with the binges from trying to be too restrictive. I have been recovering for a few years, but it's hard to say when you are "recovered".

I would advise you to NOT do a "diet" persay; counting calories and trying to hit perfect macro numbers can be just another outlet for the obsessiveness of the disease to continue. Instead, make a meal "outline" of healthy foods that you want to eat and good combinations to make balanced meals

I"m learning to gauge when I'm truly hungry and go by portion sizes instead

When you first start gaining after a disorder, it can be frustrating b/c your body wants to put it all back around your organs to protect itself. You have to push through a bit of "uncomfiness" and keep going. It WILL balance itself out, but you have to feed it so it doesn't think it needs to "save itself" anymore

Megin · 02-04-2009, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinnett

I have struggled with the binges from trying to be too restrictive. I have been recovering for a few years, but it's hard to say when you are "recovered".

I don't know (so much) that being 'recovered' is a good goal to have. Seems to me that it is a finish line that one is trying to 'get to'

I don't think it should be seen as a finish line. People give up when they see that the road is longer than they thought, are tired, or don't care enough to finish - it is easy to 'quit' when placed in game mode [finish line = game mode]

Rather, what about feeling the JOURNEY and PROCESS of it all.. not trying to attain yet another 'goal' that subconsciously feeds the ED
Guess what I am getting at, is ... life is a adventure. You don't try to get to the finish line with it (ie: death) .. no ! You ride the ride - ED visions could be seen the same way

Just a thought..

ps. Miranda - I know you are itching to comment on the death issue .. but the above suits the point !

Miranda · 02-04-2009, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megin

I don't know (so much) that being 'recovered' is a good goal to have. Seems to me that it is a finish line that one is trying to 'get to'

how about a 'seesaw' attitude?
swap an addiction to an addiction to not being addicted?

Quote:

People give up when they see that the road is longer than they thought[...]Rather, what about feeling the JOURNEY and PROCESS of it all

the road isn't 'long' - it is 'broad'

Quote:

ps. Miranda - I know you are itching to comment on the death issue .. but the above suits the point !

death is irrelevant.