Balancing family dinner time with bodybuilding diets.

[crupiea]

I thank God everyday that my wife left when she did.

I used to have to worry about things like this but no more.

I eat what I want, when i want and I love it.

You know the old saying, "The hard part wasnt when my wife left, the hard part was burying her car in the backyard."

This used to be my dining room and family room.

[thepainter5]

My wife learnt early in our dating that there were things I was never going to eat. I told her that is she fried it, I wouldn't eat it. I also told her that she should stop baking for me because I wasn't going to eat all that stuff.
She is a wonderful cook and she has adapted to a healthy menu. She knows protein is high on my list. She even structures dinner time around my training schedule. If at times she needs to eat sooner she either will & save mine or have a small snack to tide her over.

[Byakuya]

Originally Posted by mikepence

Is the OP religious? If so, he could just point out that the Magic Book of his religion says that she has to do as he wants. >

We do go to church, yes. Actually she does believe she should be submissive. She'd let me decide every meal if I put my foot down. But if the meal is something she doesn't like she won't eat much and then she'll be snacking soon afterwords. It's a little worse than usual at the moment due to the fact that she's pregnant, so she's dealing with all the pregnancy cravings.

Originally Posted by mikepence

Not to be all Dr. Phil about it -- I hate that guy, anyway -- but it sounds like there are larger issues here that could be addressed, issues that are just showing up at mealtime. Somebody's not feeling loved...

Are you saying I'm the one not feeling loved? or her? I'm sure every marriage has some issues. I'm not expecting every day to be pure bliss. But we get along pretty well.

[do1more]

Funny thread, to see it from the other side of the street.
In typical wifely fashion, I plan,prepare, and cook the meals. Over the course of the last 2 years , i have completely changed my husbands eating habits to a clean "BB" type diet.
There is not crap food present in our house, its like snakes, if they are not there they can't bite you.
I do hear some whining about the lack of junk from time to time, but mostly my DH will just sneak the odd chocolate bar on the road.
He does look forward to our scheduled cheats- and surprizingly follows my lead mostly in ordering not too badly when we go out to eat.
I guess immersion in culture works, cause he even goes to the gym now.
(won't touch free weights though.........)

[stackums]

As a wife of 15 years, I have so enjoyed reading this thread to get a man's prospective. You guys are great.

I love to cook, own a retail bulk food store next to my home, so I'm spoiled with lots of healthy ingredients at my fingertips. I'm the one training though not my husband (his shoulders & knees are trashed from his line of work or maybe he'd join me in the gym)

I cook healthy meals for the most part for all of us (we have 4 sons), but say if I'm cooking white rice for them I throw a sweet pot in this mike for me. I's fairly easy to adapt my portion as I'm cooking. I just get blamed for stealing most of the veggies, who me?

As for a wife opinion, be honest, be kind, be respectful, be helpful, and you shouldn't have any problems with getting your wife to help you out. My hubby never complains about me eating different because it ensures that he will have a hot & hornier (did I say that?) mamma to climb in bead with every night.

[Uber_Dad]

Don't you guys discuss meals with the family?

I discuss meals with my kids before we do stuff...something like what do you guys feel like tonight?...etc.

What we eat is a non - issue, I feel something else is going on when somebody is worried about what the other eats.

[indocanuck]

Originally Posted by bodyhard

I don't agree with this at all. Seems like a fake relationship to me man. If my wife cooks something and I don't like it I will tell her, no way am I going to do lie for the sake of avoiding some form of confrontation with her, my wife and I been together for 27 years there is nothing I hide from her and vice versa.

We've been married now for almost 14 years and trust me, this is no fake relationship. It's called empathy and knowing which battles to pick. Could I be a prick and try to get her to change her lifestyle to accomodate mine? Probably, but I wouldn't want to.

[essinger]

Originally Posted by indocanuck

We've been married now for almost 14 years and trust me, this is no fake relationship. It's called empathy and knowing which battles to pick. Could I be a prick and try to get her to change her lifestyle to accomodate mine? Probably, but I wouldn't want to.

I hear you. Cooking is my wife's hobby and I don't feel I should be telling her what to cook anymore than she should be telling me what to play on guitar or what exercises I should do at the gym. I eat what she cooks because it makes her happy and I want to support her in the things she wants to do. I'm in control of what I eat every meal except one. And if that one meal means I never reach single-digit BF, so be it.

[mikepence]

Originally Posted by Byakuya

We do go to church, yes. Actually she does believe she should be submissive. She'd let me decide every meal if I put my foot down. But if the meal is something she doesn't like she won't eat much and then she'll be snacking soon afterwords. It's a little worse than usual at the moment due to the fact that she's pregnant, so she's dealing with all the pregnancy cravings.

Well, yeah! Pregnancy involves a mad rush of hormones and radically effects her behavior, and yours. Pheremones are powerful things.

But dude, in the opinion of someone who wasted the first 30 years of his life as a Jehovah's f*cking Witness, let me just say that that whole biblical wifely submission thing is bunk.

I don't want to get into a theological debate, because I just don't care how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, anymore. But once I understood that my wife is an equal partner, and should be no less important in the eyes of *anyone* because she is female...well, things got a lot better with us.

[Be_Blunt]

Originally Posted by Byakuya

I assume there are a lot of folks with families in the over-35 group. A big stumbling block for my diet is "family dinner time". My wife gets upset if I don't eat what she cooked. And she likes cooking stuff with lots of carbs. So I was wondering. How do bodybuilders with families manage to eat right without upsetting their spouse? I know it sounds like I'm making excuses to eat what I want, but if I made a habit out of refusing her dinners it'd cause problems. Anyone have experience in this area? thanks!

Interesting question. My wife recently attained her Master's degree in Nutrition, so you would think this wouldn't be a problem. However, I recently told her that I wanted to reduce my carb intake in order to trim some BF. She immediately starts in on how cutting carbs from your diet is bad, your body needs them, etc. etc. I explained that I never said I wanted to remove carbs from the diet, simply reduce them but she just goes on about how you're supposed to eat 60% carbs, 20% protein, and 20% fat. Thanks to you guys here on BB.com, I was able to articulate some bro-science that supported my desire to go 40-40-20.

Anyway, the point is that although we argued for a while about that, she has switched from white rice to brown, limited the amount of pasta, and doesn't complain when I skip the bread products at dinner.

Communication is the key. Marriage is about meeting each other's needs and we have to communicate those needs properly. Maybe you could sit down with her and explain what you're trying to accomplish, why you're trying to accomplish it and how she can help.

Well, that's my 2 cents, anyway. Best of luck!

[Be_Blunt]

Originally Posted by heatwave13

Can you have your wife talk to mine? I WISH my wife would stay on me when I fall out of line! I always tell her she needs to hold me accountable and help me in the discipline department. She is not at all interested in my lifting PR's....when I broke though the 400 lbs. barrier in the squat and deadlift, her reply was, "that's great, honey, just as long as you get a little exercise".......

You just made me appreciate my wife more! Now instead of irritated, I'll be happy the next time she says "I know you hate leg day, but you need to get out of bed and go to the gym anyway!"

Well, *maybe* I won't be irritated.......

[Baldiewonkanobi]

My youngest daughter is an amazing cook...pies, cakes, homemade candies, breads, sauce and gravy on everything, butter galore. I allow her to feed me once a year...Xmas.
Her husband, 43, is a cop and was my training partner at one time. Fast forward 20 years....she is FAT and he is FAT. She almost killed him. Turns out that he has had a mini stroke and this Monday goes in for bypass surgery. 43!!! His pipes are clogged like an old sewer drain. Sad thing is that she thought her cooking was an act of love.

Baldie