Social Environment Vs BodyBuilding

[anthonybolerjack]

Originally Posted by Darkwatcher758

I apologize if I posted in the wrong section but I posted here because I know a majority if not all are dedicated to your workouts and diet.

I recently have always had a problem with bodybuilding it works for some and I guess not for others. It took me a while to get over my own problems and start getting back into a stage where I decide to better my life. I love to lift. It's Simple. I have great passion and dedication for bodybuilding. I just I don't know but nothing is more comfortable to me then going to the gym and lifting. It's relaxing and the music I play is motivating. I usually lift about 6 days a week and spend my weekends outdoor doing activities such as rock climbing or hiking.

Now although I did find others who are interested in the same things as I am the problem is I really want to go to clubs and go out with friends my age but the majority of them drink a lot or don't watch their diet and I often times feel like I don't belong because of the choices I make. I know the choices are for me but what good is all these choices I make when in the long run I feel like I'm left out.

Now easily I understand if you say have a drink once in a while or so or don't worry about cheat meals as much if you're not competing but regardless of the situation what if its every week. I've had different times had water or didn't eat bad food and I was looked upon is a joy killer even though I didn't effect others.

So I guess in short is I want to get out there, I want to meet everyone and everything but how can I make smart choices that benefit me and choices where they seem "normal" to everyone else. If I end up giving in I feel bad about my actions and I failed but to be short and maybe its with my age. I feel like its either a social life with possible opportunities to meet people or no life but better bodybuilding.

How do you guys maintain your bodybuilding as your life but also enjoy any social activities that come about as well?

Hey its great to see someone else going through what I go though everyday. I love bodybuilding but when just ove 2 years ago I gave it up to smoke weed and do some class 3 drugs. I did it because I liked having "friends". Well needless to say one time drank 72zo of9.9%alcohol/caffiene and about a gram of coke at least and ended up throwing up all over a barns and noble parking lot. I woke up in my passenger seat a block from my house. enough was enough and I joined the Army...ya, I lived in a town of rich kids who do drugs and were all fake. Out of all my druggy friends, I still kinda talk to one.
The army is a lonely place and on top of it, I am back into bodybuilding like no other. I get **** from work saying why do you always take that "moose dick?" Just eat, its nt going to kill you. My motivation comes from my wife and my one friend (im stationed with). Me and Hayes are the only two nutrition/boybuilders in my whole unit and we get **** everyday and **** on all the time because of how we eat and workout. So I feel you. This site is also my motivation because there are other people out there like me. I am the same way, music and the gym is my vacation, everyday except on the 4th day of my workout routine.

I don't regret my drug days because there were a lot of memories but it messed me up pretty bad inside my head, so don't give in, stay focused and try to talk to people in the gym, maybe a part time job (I worked for 2 gyms for about 2 years) and I could speak my mind. Try to look for someone who is open to let you be who you are, im lucky I got an angel wife who helps me and understands me so that in itself is a gift. I take her to the gym, rockclimbing and try to get her active. I' been where you are, I was fat 205 5th grade till 11th then I was to skinny 128 12grade then started drugs. It will all worout, it always does just keep your head up and your eye's open. As much as everyone rates me as an *******, I always offer my advice/help anytime and I am open to making friends on this site. You gus are also my mtivation. Bodybuilding is a life style and a hard one, only strong people I feel can handle it and live it. gl bro

[slaughterama]

Originally Posted by Mr. Aries

You determine what "life" is, and what "living" means to you.

People your age are like powders stirred into a glass of water. When the liquid/world finally stops spinning in the next few years, the scum precipitates to the bottom and the cream rises to the top.

amen, amen.

[greenchevette]

This is an incredible thread guys.

DO WORK.

[GuiYoM]

Look inside for answers...ask the right questions...become someone you wouldnt mind being locked in a room with...because after all the bull**** is done and over...thats who your stuck with...the man in the mirror. You dont need others to understand you or your point of view. You need no acceptance from any outsider

[Johnnyduc916]

Originally Posted by dvsness

After reading this, I'm really glad I have no desire to drink/go clubbing/party. I don't know what it would feel like to be contemplating if I were missing out on something.

SPENT A LITTLE TIME ON THE HILL..
nOW i DON'T KNOW, BUT i'VE BEEN TOLD IT'S HARD TO RUN WITH THE WEIGHT OF GOLD OTHER HAND I've HEARD IT'S SAID, IT'S JUST ABOUT HAS HARD WITH THE WEIGHT OF LEAD.

[Spencer444]

I don't think you necessarily have to give up drinking or going out and partying; I think thats a very legit social scene for people yer age to be doing mate. Just do it in moderation, and if your friends give you crap about not drinking or being a party pooper, just tell them to suck it haha - real friends will undstd your goals and after a while they wont give a crap; plus who doesnt like having a DD in a group after a long night of partying?

Theres always a way to control a situation so you're still having fun and not missing out, but at the same time not compromising yourself. I do this a lot persnally, Ill go out on Fridays and Saturdays to bars with friends but will only have 1 drink or nothing at all but still chat it up with the buds and have a good time.

[gharlow]

I feel the exact same way as the OP.... I love bodybuilding and would never change or give it up, however it does lead to a lot of lonely nights.

It's a catch 22 because it is either do everything right and be somewhat lonely (but feel good about yourself), or go out and have fun (but hate yourself). I'm 24 and I can't say it's a bad thing but I work with all people in their 40's-50's (healthcare administration) and being as I don't go out, it is really hard to meet people.

I have also found that going out and not drinking, is worse than not going out at all. For starters you are stuck having to drive a load of drunk people around all night, you are going to have to stay out late (totally wacks out my sleep schedule), and it is almost impossible to carry on a decent conversation at most bars/clubs.

For me the solution is usually finding someone to date, especially if they have similar interests.

It's kinda crappy when your weekends consist of going to the movies alone and sneaking in grilled chicken because popcorn and pheraplex don't mix.

[jesuswept]

I'm 29 now but started getting into lifting around 22. I was a real party animal and it was a drastic change that wasn't without it's problems. I was made fun of being classified as a "health freak" but it didn't bother me.

You should do your own thing and good friends will respect that. It takes all kinds of people to make up this world and never feel bad about doing what makes you happy. I came to the conclusion that waking up sick and hungover wasn't the way I wanted to spend my mornings anymore.

[mingo3403]

HANG OUT WITH REAL FRIENDZ

My friendz usually keep me away from temptations by going to eat places that have nutritious meals

I get stoned instead of drunk

lolz

Much better experience, no next day hang overs, doesn't affect my gym gainz

[GoalsmotivateU]

Originally Posted by GoalsmotivateU

some of the views really hit home for me.

this is what I have done when i got into bodybuilding.

At 21 I went every so often.

23 I did NOT drink I did bring my protein bars to clubs and something a whole meal in my car ..at 12-1 (every couple hours) id go into my car and eat than return to the club

This was when learning women skills was important and I still created anabolism while gaming

I very rarely drink and if I do its a glass; however i did go down to Panama city beach this spring break with some college kids 19-21(I was 26 at the time and look about there age, one actually looked older, except I was a lot bigger) and I got smashed for a good five days. I mean drunk as a skunk one night and we went to a strip club and I was handing out 20 $ buills to stripper and I was just "drunk crazy."

I have had an occasional glass since than

so you see usually i drink very rarely , and when i do its a glass or two, if at all(I haven't had a drink in months)

and when it does come time to relax I really let loose(and this may be every few years , depending on how often I go on vacation)

Generally though you don't want to drink much if anything because it can cause catabolism. and if you do drink do it on vacation when your really going all out.

I just caught this I put I did drink at 23. correction I did NOT drink.

[GoalsmotivateU]

Originally Posted by gharlow

I feel the exact same way as the OP.... I love bodybuilding and would never change or give it up, however it does lead to a lot of lonely nights.

It's a catch 22 because it is either do everything right and be somewhat lonely (but feel good about yourself), or go out and have fun (but hate yourself). I'm 24 and I can't say it's a bad thing but I work with all people in their 40's-50's (healthcare administration) and being as I don't go out, it is really hard to meet people.

I have also found that going out and not drinking, is worse than not going out at all. For starters you are stuck having to drive a load of drunk people around all night, you are going to have to stay out late (totally wacks out my sleep schedule), and it is almost impossible to carry on a decent conversation at most bars/clubs.

For me the solution is usually finding someone to date, especially if they have similar interests.

It's kinda crappy when your weekends consist of going to the movies alone and sneaking in grilled chicken because popcorn and pheraplex don't mix.

lol at the pp and popcorn comment. Learn some pickup and take a girl out. thats what I did. I used to sneak in waters in my coat in the winter.

yeah i feel you on the clubs its messes with your sleep cycle which i hate getting off of. also drunk people and smoke. once in a while is fine to do this. like maybe after youve reaached a goal and want to celebrate. every other weekend big no no if you want to keep gaining muscle, losing fat and optimal hormonal environment. remember going out to clubs and suich can effect anabolism, making you more catabolic cause of the extra smoke, drunks, competition to get laid,, when you know if you love bodybuilding you need to be in doing healthy things. like sleeping , getting ready for bed, eating whole foods...again once in a while is fine just dont make it a habit

[ezraaspland]

This is a really good thread.
Very helpful information, as I faced the same dilemma as the OP is talking about. Being Australia day all my mates were drinking and I was contempt on my water but eventually gave into peer pressure and had a few beers.
Today worked extra hard on legs (felt guilt) so it wasn't all bad.

[Darkwatcher758]

So just to give everyone a quick update about my experience so far..

From the last time I posted regarding my issue I've changed and it's been somewhat beneficial for me in personal growth development. Coming from the past where I used to be obese and stay home a majority of the time when I got into training it was my life. I woke up to it, went to sleep.

I still train hard, do a lot of running and my diet.. well it's mostly spot on. Although I realized after a while that if you take too much of anything good or bad it's a recipe for disaster.

My social life when I originally created this thread was at an all time low. I have my own place, a job people go to school for and new car. I pretty much have everything I wanted but no social interactions AND because of that I often felt depressed and alone. No matter how much of a good lifting day I had or how good my diets been or how much money I had in my account it never replaced that empty feeling I had hidden from others and sometimes from myself.

I decided one day to kind of ease up on my mind set and take it easy on myself and just go out there and try to interact. So I joined meetup groups and got involved in different things and I did meet new people. I experienced new things I've never done. Going to restaurants, drinking once in a while, Wine tasting. Taking in and accepting that some of the habits are new and I'm not used to them.

So I guess what I'm getting at is that life does improve overtime ONLY if you're willing to not necessarily give yourself a specific mindset of what personal achievement is exactly. It's different for everyone and the key to success is MODERATION in both living and enjoying.

So I had to change the way I thought of myself and the way I did certain things but in return I've done things and experienced things that I would have never done. Sometimes life isn't about weights or diet it can just be pure experience based on entertainment, interactions, etc...

[Gr3g_Lycan]

Originally Posted by Darkwatcher758

I decided one day to kind of ease up on my mind set and take it easy on myself and just go out there and try to interact. So I joined meetup groups and got involved in different things and I did meet new people. I experienced new things I've never done. Going to restaurants, drinking once in a while, Wine tasting. Taking in and accepting that some of the habits are new and I'm not used to them.

These are the classic things to do to get rid of depression.

One thing i strongly recommend is joining a sport that has team bonding. eg a lifting group at college that goes to regular meets; volleyball; soccer. You will get invited to social functions as part of the group.
Try something totally new that involves people eg martial arts, dancing class, music festival, cycling group, rockclimbing group.

The other thing to watch is personality. Some people can be "cold fish" or nerdy/weird for want of better words. Have a look at "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" or a book on NeuroLinguistic Progamming. You want to aim for "people magnet" instead of "cold fish".

[GoalsmotivateU]

very good insight. i sometimes get too involved in bodybuilding. and other areas need outlet. after your bodybuilding goal you can let loose for a while and do some other areas while still bodybuilding. If you have a serious goal like a competition its best to stay the course intill its done(Im speaking from experience)

[Darkwatcher758]

Originally Posted by GregT

These are the classic things to do to get rid of depression.

One thing i strongly recommend is joining a sport that has team bonding. eg a lifting group at college that goes to regular meets; volleyball; soccer. You will get invited to social functions as part of the group.
Try something totally new that involves people eg martial arts, dancing class, music festival, cycling group, rockclimbing group.

The other thing to watch is personality. Some people can be "cold fish" or nerdy/weird for want of better words. Have a look at "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" or a book on NeuroLinguistic Progamming. You want to aim for "people magnet" instead of "cold fish".

I've read a couple NLP books for business development and it's helped me out wonderfully but never really applied it all the time. I actually plan on taking a martial arts class. Although I think right now I'm sampling a bit of everything to see what it is that I truly like.

So I guess it's not impossible to become a bodybuilder and have a social life but you need to know when to have fun and when to be focused.

[vincenzo9]

Excellent thread. I have the same issue currently. My social life was decent and I'd go out and have fun on weekends, meet a few girls, and made new friends.

At the same time I was making no progress while lifting. Alcohol made me lack initiative and focus on my goals. I'd eat crappy food and be too hungover the next day or two to think about working out. This, along with other reasons, made me decide to stop drinking around two months ago.

I'm eating healthy and seeing much better progress, but also have no social life now. I've never been a fan of the typical club crowd even though I often ended up at them when drinking with friends. Bars are usually full of overly drunk people since they're based around alcohol. I have the self-restraint to limit myself, but it's difficult to enjoy myself around drunk friends when I'm mostly sober.

I do know others who are focused on fitness and don't drink, but they typically stay home and do nothing every weekend. This is my current schedule, but I'm bored and don't feel like I'm enjoying myself.

[Hollywood_HD]

The biggest mistake about this thread is the thinking that bodybuilding and partying and drinking once a week can't go together. It's a myth that if you party, you won't grow.

If you're planning to be Mr. Olympia then it makes more sense to avoid partying as you focus on reaching your goal, but for the majority of bodybuilders who don't compete, drinking every weekend definitely won't hurt them.

I had so many bodybuilder friends who party hard every Saturday and they were eating burgers everyday instead of chicken breasts and some of them became successful amateur competitors.

Enjoy life and don't forget that if you enjoy everything in moderation, you can never go wrong. Too much bodybuilding can hurt you too. Obssession is a disease.

[trooler78]

some good tips here esp from flex500 i think that is the most realistic approach

[etali]

Are there people at your gym who seem 'serious' about working out? Could you enter a bodybuilding competition? Could you find out about bodybuilding competitions in your area? Even if you don't actually want to compete, maybe you could find out who some of the serious types are, and get to know them?

I gradually left my original social circle and now have lots of friends that I met through work / on the internet (I've met most of my 'internet friends' in real life - even the ones in foreign countries).

I didn't find new friends until I stopped worrying about having friends. Seriously, when you start thinking "stuff everything, I'm going to get on with life and have fun doing what I enjoy" you get a different aura around you, and people start flocking to you

[wallyworld34]

damn man , not to sound harsh but man get a dog ..... you can still go out , and hang out , you dont have to get hammered man, and you can still meet people, i workout pretty hardcore and i take the gym serious, but i still go out maybe on a sat , i dont get hammered like i used to , i just have a couple beers and then call it a night......get out there man, stop crying bro...sorry man , i just dont get it.

[Unforgiven349]

Great thread to read. I find myself at the cross roads in life. I've recently made the choice to have a different lifestyle. In the past 2 months have stopped consuming alcohol, and have a great diet, im steadily trimming up, feeling better by the week physically which empowers me mentally.

My group of friends drink often, and eat unhealthy all the time. You'd consider them ''normal'' teenagers, go out and get drunk, then end up at 24hr McDonalds etc, and now that just doesn't appeal to me.

Though recently some have questioned my ways, some friends 'accept' of how I am, how I choose not to eat junk food, or drink. Though none of them respect it. They don't insult me or anything, but I times I feel outcast, just because I don't conform to their glutton like ways.

Im much happier how I am, and choosing and living the lifestyle I have at the moment is awesome, im never tempted to be like them. I just wish people/my friends would respect my way of life more so. I don't need them to embrace it, like it, love it, just respect it, and not push their ways on me.

I probably repeated myself in there a million times, but hopefully I got my point across.

[ThinLikeWhoa]

Originally Posted by Big Slim DaDDy

Stop giving a **** about other peoples opinions live your life for you.

That's my atttitude. I thankfully have 1 friend that has the same mentality as I do. We both bring our meals out with us, if it's a bar we just go outside for a minute and mow down, club is a bit harder, we "try" to chose a club that lets you go outside and come back in but that is not always the case. Needless to say a bag of protein powder may have ended up into a club with us mixed with a bottle of water.

Regardless don't let others around you criticize you for YOUR decisions in life, you chose to life you're life style...they chose to live thier "fad of a life style" because believe me, it's just a fad they will eventually change. The one's that don't will regret it.