My husband says... gross

JessicaLauren · 10-24-2008, 08:36 PM

So yeah. I got into the fitness kick after my husband and I got together and after we had our baby. I love being skinny but now I want to put some muscles on and see some definition in my abs.

I told my husband this and he said that would be gross. do you think I will be being selfish if I keep going? lol I really want this but ... ah... anyone else have this problem?

kimm4 · 10-24-2008, 08:40 PM

Actually I think skinny with no muscle is gross...but that's just me!!

Be selfish girl, have some fun!!

demike · 10-24-2008, 08:41 PM

Keep doing it, He won't think it is gross after you have started to do it. Some muscle is attractive on women, but not women that look like men. My wife told me she doesn't like it when I flex my muscles and I told her well I am only going to train more and you will see more muscles. She will be okay with it just like your hubby will. Good luck and do it for yourself!

Fit women can be hawtt!

rockyl686 · 10-24-2008, 08:45 PM

go 4 it

DaleJR · 10-24-2008, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessicaLauren

So yeah. I got into the fitness kick after my husband and I got together and after we had our baby. I love being skinny but now I want to put some muscles on and see some definition in my abs.

I told my husband this and he said that would be gross. do you think I will be being selfish if I keep going? lol I really want this but ... ah... anyone else have this problem?

Uhh duh. Why isn't your ass in the kitchen? Dishes NAO

lopaw · 10-24-2008, 11:09 PM

OMFG.
Why in hell do some women think this way?
Being SELFISH for wanting to change your OWN BODY??
WTF????

You gotta do what's right for YOU.
If your husband doesn't like it - TFB!

heavywt · 10-24-2008, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lopaw

OMFG.
Why in hell do some women think this way?
Being SELFISH for wanting to change your OWN BODY??
WTF????

You gotta do what's right for YOU.
If your husband doesn't like it - TFB!

^^^^^^^^^^^^
i concur

funkymonk420 · 10-24-2008, 11:30 PM

if your husband doesn't like it, tell him to go **** himself...

alright but seriously, i don't think he'll object when he sees it, he's just having a knee-jerk reaction to the idea of a woman building muscle.

Tiffany_P · 10-25-2008, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lopaw

OMFG.
Why in hell do some women think this way?
Being SELFISH for wanting to change your OWN BODY??
WTF????

You gotta do what's right for YOU.
If your husband doesn't like it - TFB!

Reps

gingerrockypoint · 10-25-2008, 08:20 AM

My husband doesn't necessarily have a problem with me gaining muscle, he has a problem with me going to the gym period. He says I'm selfish for hitting the gym 5 days a week for about an hour a day even though it's the one thing that I do for myself. I still go, but I really have to concentrate on pushing myself because not having his support gets me down.

soleuvanathlete · 10-25-2008, 08:34 AM

Taking care of yourself and doing what you enjoy doing is NOT selfish - it's actually very unselfish in that achieving your own goals will make you happier and more confident and just a great person to be around! I say do what makes YOU happy!

ToraAdams · 10-25-2008, 10:05 AM

I can understand what he's saying because my son has said the same thing to me multiple times. He will actually turn the pages of fitness magazines to show me what is gross and what he thinks looks good.

Other than the fact I have raised a bit of a control freak !!!!

I think female muscles is not the only issue. Guys like separation they like to know they can do something that (we) can't. When the idea of femininity and masculinity mix it's too taxing on the masculine ego .
I'm not insulting men in general I just think its important to be understanding of our male loved ones and just continue to be our awesome selves and eventually they will get used to your zest for self improvement.

When I put down the 2 pound dumbbell and picked up a 20 my life has changed for the better and therefore so has everyone else in my life.

do1more · 10-25-2008, 10:34 AM

And yet the irony is that if a wife puts on 25+ lbs of "insulation" her husband feels totally justified in voicing his opinion that she has let herself go!

Men are a constant lesson in contrasts.............. after 24 years I STILL have not figured mine out!

Do what makes you happy.

Going to the gym is not a selfish act, its like reading a book, or walking the dog, or doing the laundry. Something you do because it needs to be done.

How many of us come home from work- do laundry,make dinner and clean house, while our DH sits in a chair and has a beer?

Gym- selfish? NOT.

girl81 · 10-25-2008, 11:37 AM

I train to become a stronger, more productive member of society. Appearing "gross" is not a factor.

ellematkovic · 10-25-2008, 01:19 PM

i think u should do what u want for yourself... maybe ur husband would change his tune once he saw them

<3 elle

DemetriaF · 10-25-2008, 01:29 PM

I'm gonna go ahead and chime in with a bit of redundancy--do what's right for you!

It's not your husband's decision, especially in regard to doing something POSITIVE for yourself. It's not like you said you wanted to gain 200 pounds of lardy fat, or maybe to start drinking or doing drugs. I mean please, fitness was a 'good thing' last time I checked--and if he has problems with you making positive changes in your life, then I'd dare to say that he's got the problem--not you!

MountainSong · 10-25-2008, 01:49 PM

IMHO women with those skinny little anorexic arms don't look healthy at all.

Aeris · 10-25-2008, 03:18 PM

Actively going against his wishes sounds like it would cause a lot of tension in any marriage, especially since it's something that would effect how attractive you are to him. Keep this in mind. Don't you think it would hurt to know that your husband found you less beautiful because of something you chose to do? Personally, if my husband didn't think I needed to change a part of my body, I wouldn't try and change it. He's the one hitting it, therefore it matters most to him

That's just my opinion anyways.

Eileen · 10-25-2008, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gingerrockypoint

My husband doesn't necessarily have a problem with me gaining muscle, he has a problem with me going to the gym period. He says I'm selfish for hitting the gym 5 days a week for about an hour a day even though it's the one thing that I do for myself. I still go, but I really have to concentrate on pushing myself because not having his support gets me down.

He's being a jerk. Do you complain when he spends five hours a week watching tv or surfing the net, never mind going out with his friends or doing his hobby. Tell him the alternative is that you spend some quality time on e-bay, spending his money.

EnigmaPower · 10-25-2008, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessicaLauren

So yeah. I got into the fitness kick after my husband and I got together and after we had our baby. I love being skinny but now I want to put some muscles on and see some definition in my abs.

I told my husband this and he said that would be gross. do you think I will be being selfish if I keep going? lol I really want this but ... ah... anyone else have this problem?

Let me put this delicately, he is your husband and either he will support you in your quest to improve your body or frankly you should make progress without him. He does sound a bit old fashioned not wanting his wife to pursue her interests.

JAWS22 · 10-25-2008, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lopaw

OMFG.
Why in hell do some women think this way?
Being SELFISH for wanting to change your OWN BODY??
WTF????

You gotta do what's right for YOU.
If your husband doesn't like it - TFB!

Lol then PIITB!

kimm4 · 10-25-2008, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lopaw

OMFG.
Why in hell do some women think this way?
Being SELFISH for wanting to change your OWN BODY??
WTF????

You gotta do what's right for YOU.
If your husband doesn't like it - TFB!

She speaks the truth...I love this girl!!

demike · 10-25-2008, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aeris

Actively going against his wishes sounds like it would cause a lot of tension in any marriage, especially since it's something that would effect how attractive you are to him. Keep this in mind. Don't you think it would hurt to know that your husband found you less beautiful because of something you chose to do? Personally, if my husband didn't think I needed to change a part of my body, I wouldn't try and change it. He's the one hitting it, therefore it matters most to him

That's just my opinion anyways.

I see what you are saying but I have to disagree. I think he will find her attractive once he sees that she is not going to look like a man or anything. My wife wanted to lose some weight, I told her go ahead, she has my support. I told her I wanted to get more muscular, she said okay but thinks I am sexy how I am. She said she does not want me to look like some guy on steriods.

This is probably the same reaction her husband is having. It will work out I am sure, plus it takes time for these changes so he will adapt over the process. Good luck.

JessicaLauren · 10-25-2008, 07:49 PM

thanks for all the feedback ya'll.

partsRheavy · 10-25-2008, 08:11 PM

I agree with what the majority here say.

In addition, since you are working at least part-time as a fitness coach, it is your professional responsibility to stay in shape. Your job is presumably ethical (you're in a legitimate type of work). Hubby has no right to interfere with what puts food on the table.

He's trying to be controlling, and that's just wrong.

If he demands his way, then you _take_ yours....like the other poster said, $pend away on eBay LOL...Once he realizes that the alternative will _cost_ him money and remove income, if he has any sense in his head he will back down and let you be yourself and also coach others toward better health.

SearMeCarefully · 10-26-2008, 03:04 PM

Maybe he was thinking you'd end up looking masculine like women taking steroids..
Either way I'd say do what makes you feel your best. If you're feeling great your positive energy will affect everyone around you
It is important what your spouse thinks to an exctent but number one should be yourself and your happiness

humblegenius · 10-26-2008, 03:52 PM

People need their own hobbies in a relationship. He would be complaining more if you were 300lbs.

You should be proud of the fact that being fit and healthy is important. In an obese society, OP, you are a breath of fresh air.

girl81 · 10-26-2008, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aeris

Actively going against his wishes sounds like it would cause a lot of tension in any marriage, especially since it's something that would effect how attractive you are to him. Keep this in mind. Don't you think it would hurt to know that your husband found you less beautiful because of something you chose to do? Personally, if my husband didn't think I needed to change a part of my body, I wouldn't try and change it. He's the one hitting it, therefore it matters most to him

That's just my opinion anyways.

Strengthening a bodypart does more than just affect attractiveness; having a stronger core will add to her health and well-being.

Aeris · 10-26-2008, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demike

I see what you are saying but I have to disagree. I think he will find her attractive once he sees that she is not going to look like a man or anything. My wife wanted to lose some weight, I told her go ahead, she has my support. I told her I wanted to get more muscular, she said okay but thinks I am sexy how I am. She said she does not want me to look like some guy on steriods.

This is probably the same reaction her husband is having. It will work out I am sure, plus it takes time for these changes so he will adapt over the process. Good luck.

I understand what you're saying, but if along the way her husband makes it clear that he does not like how she is looking and finds her less attractive than before, I certainly wouldn't advise her to go any further. That's just my thought at least.

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl81

Strengthening a bodypart does more than just affect attractiveness; having a stronger core will add to her health and well-being.

You can be perfectly healthy without having a six-pack. Strengthening the core muscles doesn't have to mean having a ton of definition in that area. I doubt her husband is opposed to her obtaining a stronger core; he just doesn't want her to also get a low enough body fat that it causes the type of look he dislikes.

xc_mtb · 10-26-2008, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessicaLauren

So yeah. I got into the fitness kick after my husband and I got together and after we had our baby. I love being skinny but now I want to put some muscles on and see some definition in my abs.

I told my husband this and he said that would be gross. do you think I will be being selfish if I keep going? lol I really want this but ... ah... anyone else have this problem?

before everyone gets mad, no i am not a woman, just saw this thread from main menu. my opinion is that he may just be jealous of your progress and dedication, does he spend any time in the gym as well?