way O.T. / WTF child support !!!!!!!!

[ntrllftr]

Originally Posted by blopid

Funny how the original poster hasn't returned... Just sayin'...



Peace...

Originally Posted by kimsquit

maybe he took the advice in post #2?

Or maybe he sold his computer to pay the child support.

[RaeMe]

Originally Posted by jdmalm123

Are you overdue? or in arrears? Either way, start paying something, even if it's less than ordered...it will keep you out of court longer and show good faith. It may also keep you out of jail. Your ex could make lots of trouble if she keeps going to court and making official complaints and appeals. She can get you arrested eventually or have your pay garnished.

If you have a half way decent relationship with her, maybe she will agree to accept less if you can contribute non-monetarily like babysitting, etc.

When you add up basic care and long term costs for a kid, the amount isn't unreasonable (think braces, summer camp, college, etc).

More states are also taking away driving privilages for failure to pay child support. This also effects the price you pay for car insurance and guarantee's no job because you have no transportation Lets not forget the reinstatement fees that'll have to be paid. Everyone gets their cut.

[TDetroit]

tell her she has to reimburse you for the half week

[RaeMe]

Originally Posted by TDetroit

tell her she has to reimburse you for the half week

Good suggestion. Baby sitting IS expensive, right? Lol.

[higher-peaks]

Originally Posted by ntrllftr

Or maybe he sold his computer to pay the child support.

THere is always more to the story and I have been spending time with my son the last few days so I havent been here to post. Yes I have him all day Friday Saturday SUnday and Monday. I pay child care for 2 of those days. To answer some questions...Oregon does not consider child support the same as parental rights or custody rights. It is solely determined by a DNA test. I still have to get her into court to get those established. I just didnt realize that 1. they are seperate here and 2. that they could take so much of your money. One poster says that the mortgage needs to be paid...well hers will but mine wont so what do I do??? "o hey son...welcome to dad's new dumpster.....i just had new wallpaper put up....they call it cardboard...." And for the one(s) who think i am a 99percenter well read above and also take note that i have been paying voluntary child support at 300/month for 3 years when it was never ordered because she didnt know who the father was.....I took him in and cared for him right from the begining even with this knowledge. Its the 99 percenters that make it difficult for the 1 percenters like i am sure the fathers on this site are. And I do apologize for venting here guys and gals but I appreciate the feedback. Between working, exercising, and my son I dont get much adult conversation. At work its all professional, in the gym I am there to push iron, and with my son ...well....he's my best friend and my heart...and like its said above I spare him any stress or worry...he goes through enough....thank you again o35ers.....and also ntrlftr.......

[BootyCamp]

Originally Posted by higher-peaks

THere is always more to the story and I have been spending time with my son the last few days so I havent been here to post. Yes I have him all day Friday Saturday SUnday and Monday.

You don't need a lawyer. You just need to document everything.
The easiest way to do that is to RECORD ALL PHONE CONVERSATIONS. Everything you've said to us get your baby'a mama on the phone and say.
Start crying and sounding like a wussy. File for physical custody & play the tapes.

[higher-peaks]

Originally Posted by BootyCamp

You don't need a lawyer. You just need to document everything.
The easiest way to do that is to RECORD ALL PHONE CONVERSATIONS. Everything you've said to us get your baby'a mama on the phone and say.
Start crying and sounding like a wussy. File for physical custody & play the tapes.

lol.....ive got all the texts that we send but i thought it was illegal to tape voice???? but you are right the only leg i have is documentation......ty...

[Iron Barbarian]

Depends on your states law. Where I live it is a Single Consent state to record conversations as I am recording every conversation I have with a company that is trying to defraud me. Boy will they be surprised if we have to go to court to settle our disagreement. However make sure first because if you live in a dual consent state it is considered a felony to record someone without their knowledge.

Originally Posted by higher-peaks

lol.....ive got all the texts that we send but i thought it was illegal to tape voice???? but you are right the only leg i have is documentation......ty...

[Karl_Hungus]

Originally Posted by Stevelegh

My Dad hated his first wife so much he sold his business and home and pissed the money away.

She took him to court. The judge asked where the money went:

'Wine, women and song', my Dad said.

The judge pulled out documents relating to 'stashed' money and asked where that was:

'Gone' Dad said.

'Where?' the judge said.

'More wine, more women and more song!'

I wish your dad was a member of this forum so that I could give him reps for life....lol.

[higher-peaks]

Originally Posted by Karl_Hungus

I wish your dad was a member of this forum so that I could give him reps for life....lol.

LOLOLOLLOLLOL

[BootyCamp]

Oregon is a single consent state.

[maryinmesquite]

from a female point , my ex made about twice what i do , he paid fo one year only , still owes some, refuses to help her with any of her college, wont even carry her on his insurance even thoughit is like $15 a week for him. So my daughter works full time and is paying for her own school and doing ok even though it is hard on her , While he lives in a rathole and has nothing because he chose a life style that isnt family oriented . like titty bars and drugs. and he wonders why she doesnt want anything to do with him. so not all men are blameless, and this is after the courrt hearing where they hid me in a back room and he was escorted out because the lawyers(both sides) were afraid of what he would do to me

[ntrllftr]

Originally Posted by maryinmesquite

from a female point , my ex made about twice what i do , he paid fo one year only , still owes some, refuses to help her with any of her college, wont even carry her on his insurance even thoughit is like $15 a week for him. So my daughter works full time and is paying for her own school and doing ok even though it is hard on her , While he lives in a rathole and has nothing because he chose a life style that isnt family oriented . like titty bars and drugs. and he wonders why she doesnt want anything to do with him. so not all men are blameless, and this is after the courrt hearing where they hid me in a back room and he was escorted out because the lawyers(both sides) were afraid of what he would do to me

I can totally understand his side.
I do NOT agree with it but I can relate.
I am "allowed" to see my son every other weekend, which I do.
Do I feel like a father? NO!
His hostility is more likely frustration. I have been there myself.
I just choose not to care any more, thats what works for me.
Then again I am re married and have two other children that I see every day.

.

[Npeart]

Originally Posted by higher-peaks

I just got the court ordered that I will be paying $760 dollars a month for child support on ONE child. I live in Oregon and they are saying as of 2007 whether or not I have 1 kid or 5 they can take 1/2 of your gross income. I make 11 dollars and hour which means I will be homeless just so she can live with all the luxeries. ANd like my kid needs 700+ dollars a month for his expenses.....hes only 3!!!!!! WTF! I have him half the week but its not down on paper......I NEED ADVICE AND DOES THIS SOUND LEGITE?????? FAUK!

Condoms, son. Much cheaper. . .

[SeaSiren]

OK Another females point of view here:

I have 2 children from marriage #1 (yep they are numbered now), and 2 from marriage #2.

Husband #1 pays no child support. The children hated him for so many years for everything he had done. He however is getting his life on track and I have convinced them the try and repair the relationship.

Husband #2 pays no child support. And yes, I am making arrangements so the children can go visit him, most likely at my expense. (we live at separate ends of the country ... yes, he moved far away first).

Would I like some monetary support. Sure, that would be just peachy! In reality however, I'll be lucky to see a dime with him moving around continuously and not holding a job.

HOWEVER....... receiving so much support that he would be unable to pull his life together and not have a home, etc. is simply not cool. And not good for my children to have to go to when they visit.

I don't regret my children, they are my life! I brought them into this world and I'm going to take care of them. Birth control would have been a heck of a lot cheaper, lol .... but would not give up one second of my time with them, so no regrets regarding them in any way shape or form. I wish however, I had chosen their fathers more wisely...... but the past is the past.

So to wrap it up, I do think you are getting the bad end of this, and wish some of the laws calculations would change. I wish more parents would step up realize each others side and figure it out. That of course is a fantasy world which doesn't exist. So, basically it seems your choices are pay or play. I would put up one heck of a fight in regards to parenting time. What I would give to have my children's father close enough for them to be able to spend time with them.

[IronCamp]

Originally Posted by higher-peaks

I just got the court ordered that I will be paying $760 dollars a month for child support on ONE child. I live in Oregon and they are saying as of 2007 whether or not I have 1 kid or 5 they can take 1/2 of your gross income. I make 11 dollars and hour which means I will be homeless just so she can live with all the luxeries. ANd like my kid needs 700+ dollars a month for his expenses.....hes only 3!!!!!! WTF! I have him half the week but its not down on paper......I NEED ADVICE AND DOES THIS SOUND LEGITE?????? FAUK!

I haven't read all the other posts.

I am a single mother of a 3 year old and believe me, it does cost more than $700 a month to care for her. Daycare is $800 a month + food, clothing, extracarricular activites, etc it easily adds up to over $1,000. Now, I don't receive CS, b/c forunately I don't need it and prefer not to receive funds from a dead beat that is not involved in my child's life, but some mother's (or father's) do need the CS and both parents should contribute financially to the child.

I don't think it's fair that 1/2 or more of your income is what you are required to pay for CS, but I just wanted to point out that it is costly to care for a 3 yo.

[maryinmesquite]

Originally Posted by ntrllftr

I can totally understand his side.
I do NOT agree with it but I can relate.
I am "allowed" to see my son every other weekend, which I do.
Do I feel like a father? NO!
His hostility is more likely frustration. I have been there myself.
I just choose not to care any more, thats what works for me.
Then again I am re married and have two other children that I see every day.

.

i think my situation is different than yours , my daughter is now 19 and he was abusive and started all the other **** while we were married and the girls saw him hit on me quite abit , so they have very little respect for them , plus he has hit them . and i would love for him to see the girls and heal any rifts they have because whatever he is , he is still their father and he needs them , as well as they need him

[bIGHIN31]

Seems nobody gives a damn about a grown assed man playa(especially, us good ones). I pay 414 for my son. His mom has kept him from me for some years and I finally got to see him this summer. I flew him to me. What a disaster the visit was! I treid to make peace with him, go camping, workout and hang out. But the whole 3 months he stayed angry cause his mother was tells him we are going to shopping and spending money. She told me I needed to spend some money on him to show him I love him! And when you get thier he is taking you on shopping sprees and stuff. And with his mother talking down on me he now has been programmed to believe I don't want anything to do with him. His mom feels that 414 is not enough and has called my job harrasing me and putting me out thier bad to my son and supervisor. He wants to be a rapper and said if I love him I would front him the loot to do his demo. AIN'T THAT SOME STUFF! I told him you think I am fronting you couple grand for a sloppy ass rap cd. Hell to da knaw. GET YOU A DEGREE IN MUSIC/BUSINESS AND OWN THE DAMN COMPANY SON! He thinks thats corny too. Sad. She told him I called her a no-acount-b&*%h and said I was gona kill her. He texted me and had some words to say that you would not say to a parent. But you know what my friend, you can't control these judges decisions. And it's hard to bargain aand convience an angry woman who had dreams to be with her ex(babbies daddy) and holds grudges to change her mind. But I know one thing though. I know how to pray. Don't put your trustin this man/woman cause apparently you done that and look what it got cha. Mac-n-chesse. Trust in the man upstairs and I guarantee it will get better. Pay the lawyer to get it lowered, sit down somewhere, and ask God to handle it. He's your only defense for what your going through. And I promise you homeboi, it'll get better. All you got is your sanity. Keep it at a high stake. If not for you, for you little dude!? Stay encouraged bossman!

[SP1966]

The saying 'Freedom isn't free' has so many uses...

My brother in law gets screwed continually. His ex disappears for years at a time and when he goes to the courts they will do nothing to help. His support checks get deposited so they could find her, but will not. Then just to rub salt in old wounds, every time he goes asking for help they re-evaluate his support payment, if he makes more money they increase the support he has to pay for a child they will not help him see!

And before dbx chimes in, he is a good guy, good father. She is the nut job!! There is not more to this story, other than our great government once again screwing the wrong person...

To the OP, good luck! I hope things work out for you... And like others have said, your child always gets the worst of a divorce, look out for them first!! Been there, done that, no fun!! My parents got divorced when I was 10, messed me up for a very long time!!

Some would say I am still messed up, but I am pretty sure that is all my fault now!

[runner05]

Originally Posted by IronCamp

I haven't read all the other posts.

I am a single mother of a 3 year old and believe me, it does cost more than $700 a month to care for her. Daycare is $800 a month + food, clothing, extracarricular activites, etc it easily adds up to over $1,000. Now, I don't receive CS, b/c forunately I don't need it and prefer not to receive funds from a dead beat that is not involved in my child's life, but some mother's (or father's) do need the CS and both parents should contribute financially to the child.

I don't think it's fair that 1/2 or more of your income is what you are required to pay for CS, but I just wanted to point out that it is costly to care for a 3 yo.

Great points, IC! xoxo

Originally Posted by bIGHIN31

Seems nobody gives a damn about a grown assed man playa(especially, us good ones). I pay 414 for my son. His mom has kept him from me for some years and I finally got to see him this summer. I flew him to me. What a disaster the visit was! I treid to make peace with him, go camping, workout and hang out. But the whole 3 months he stayed angry cause his mother was tells him we are going to shopping and spending money. She told me I needed to spend some money on him to show him I love him! And when you get thier he is taking you on shopping sprees and stuff. And with his mother talking down on me he now has been programmed to believe I don't want anything to do with him. His mom feels that 414 is not enough and has called my job harrasing me and putting me out thier bad to my son and supervisor. He wants to be a rapper and said if I love him I would front him the loot to do his demo. AIN'T THAT SOME STUFF! I told him you think I am fronting you couple grand for a sloppy ass rap cd. Hell to da knaw. GET YOU A DEGREE IN MUSIC/BUSINESS AND OWN THE DAMN COMPANY SON! He thinks thats corny too. Sad. She told him I called her a no-acount-b&*%h and said I was gona kill her. He texted me and had some words to say that you would not say to a parent. But you know what my friend, you can't control these judges decisions. And it's hard to bargain aand convience an angry woman who had dreams to be with her ex(babbies daddy) and holds grudges to change her mind. But I know one thing though. I know how to pray. Don't put your trustin this man/woman cause apparently you done that and look what it got cha. Mac-n-chesse. Trust in the man upstairs and I guarantee it will get better. Pay the lawyer to get it lowered, sit down somewhere, and ask God to handle it. He's your only defense for what your going through. And I promise you homeboi, it'll get better. All you got is your sanity. Keep it at a high stake. If not for you, for you little dude!? Stay encouraged bossman!

Unfortunately, regardless of the b... your ex is, it's your son that's suffering from not gaining a relationship w/ his dad. And, to me... that is inexcusable on your ex's part, because when a dad really wants to be a dad, or when a mom wants to be a mom, they should be allowed to do that wholeheartedly and think about the child(ren). Too often, there is a parent or maybe both that just don't think about "parenting" but rather money and being ticked off at an ex! So sad... Isn't that what "child support" should be about? The kids? Not necessarily just money!



IMO... If both parents (regardless of custody) were really "parents"... money wouldn't be any issue 'cuz both would do all they could to do the best they could for the kid.

[jawter]

Originally Posted by higher-peaks

THere is always more to the story and I have been spending time with my son the last few days so I havent been here to post. Yes I have him all day Friday Saturday SUnday and Monday. I pay child care for 2 of those days. To answer some questions...Oregon does not consider child support the same as parental rights or custody rights. It is solely determined by a DNA test. I still have to get her into court to get those established. I just didnt realize that 1. they are seperate here and 2. that they could take so much of your money. One poster says that the mortgage needs to be paid...well hers will but mine wont so what do I do??? "o hey son...welcome to dad's new dumpster.....i just had new wallpaper put up....they call it cardboard...." And for the one(s) who think i am a 99percenter well read above and also take note that i have been paying voluntary child support at 300/month for 3 years when it was never ordered because she didnt know who the father was.....I took him in and cared for him right from the begining even with this knowledge. Its the 99 percenters that make it difficult for the 1 percenters like i am sure the fathers on this site are. .......

?????????? Paying child support for a child that most likely is not yours? The court order was not formed in a vaccum, I know that you were sent paperwork and a whole set of instructions on when and how to contest the procedings, soooooooooooo....,. WTF dude didn't you read anything or are you telling us a load of BS?

If the child is not yours and you did not legally adopt her then get a lawyer.