Takes a special someone to date a competitor

[Cnstnce]

It sounds like the women are being supportive of the men, but women are having a hard time finding men that will support them. What's up with that?

[str8flexed]

makes men insecure

[Cnstnce]

Well that just...sucks! You try to do the best you can, and men can't handle it. I guess it doesn't help that I probably know more about college football than most men too huh?

[str8flexed]

i wouldn't worry about it... if he's a man too insecure to support what you do, then he's a man probably not worth having

[Fjock]

Originally Posted by Cnstnce

Well that just...sucks! You try to do the best you can, and men can't handle it. I guess it doesn't help that I probably know more about college football than most men too huh?

You are probably one of the many waiting to hear about the extent of Chris "Beanie" Wells' injury out there in Ohio, arent you? haha.
Love the shirt in the avatar though. Go bulldogs!

[Cnstnce]

Originally Posted by Fjock

You are probably one of the many waiting to hear about the extent of Chris "Beanie" Wells' injury out there in Ohio, arent you? haha.
Love the shirt in the avatar though. Go bulldogs!

I havent decided if I would rather see them go down now, or let my Dawgs be the next to embarass them on a national stage. Makes no difference, Dawgs are #1!

[Fjock]

Originally Posted by Cnstnce

I havent decided if I would rather see them go down now, or let my Dawgs be the next to embarass them on a national stage. Makes no difference, Dawgs are #1!

HAHA, i think id rather see them go down myself. If they make it to another BCS Nat championship only to get destroyed by another SEC team, something is wrong with the system.

[VenomXL]

Originally Posted by Cnstnce

Well that just...sucks! You try to do the best you can, and men can't handle it. I guess it doesn't help that I probably know more about college football than most men too huh?

My wife just took 4th place at the North Americans after not being on stage for 2 years! I'm handling it quite well lol! I'm very proud of what she has accomplished and now she has put the pressure on me to perform well at the jr usa's in may. She's top dawg for now lol.

Oh and the college football thing is a plus in my book. My wife doesn't care for college football.... probably should have figured that one out before i married her lol.

[Cnstnce]

Originally Posted by Fjock

HAHA, i think id rather see them go down myself. If they make it to another BCS Nat championship only to get destroyed by another SEC team, something is wrong with the system.

Well we already know that there is something wrong with the system.

Originally Posted by VENOMXL

My wife just took 4th place at the North Americans after not being on stage for 2 years! I'm handling it quite well lol! I'm very proud of what she has accomplished and now she has put the pressure on me to perform well at the jr usa's in may. She's top dawg for now lol.

So glad to hear of a couple that can be together during such a difficult journey. I know it must make you guys so much stronger.

[tkokayde]

I think it's hard for any couple where one is a competitor and one isn't, whether it's the man or the woman. I would imagine it's not as difficult if you are already competing when you meet the person, but I don't know from experience. My husband and I were already together when I decided to start competing. He has been extremely supportive, going to the gym with me, making my breakfast while I get ready for work, filming my routine practices, the list goes on. He's been great about everything, but it gets difficult when the cutting begins and the emotions get out of whack. I don't think one can really understand the way training and dieting for a physique sport messes with you unless they have been there, done that. Makes the marriage interesting though!

[scoobysnacks]

Rich,

Whats up man, you excited for Sue, I know I am, from her pics and reports she is on point.

Anyways, I always make sure I dated an athlete, that way they understood the competitive side of this--and I always made it clear that I WILL do this periodically.

My wife hadnt even really lifted before we met, always felt weird in the gym, she was a race runner. After seeing how I was able to transform my body year after year she finally was like I need to start to do this, running at best kept her looking the same. So she started lifting not really messing with the diet, then came protein powders, then she dropped the cereal for oats, in came the eggs, then she started to get really good results. And after saying she would never compete the tables have turned and she is 8 weeks out from the Mash.

Focus on finding a competitive gal and you will be good, and of course be up front about the fact you will compete from time to time.

I try my best to not be selfish while competing but there were many nights while prepping for the NKY id just say, honey, you go out, enjoy yourself Im going to watch tv and chill.

Anyways....if they didnt support it now they wouldnt support it later, so Id say adios.

J

[musclemass22]

Wow, what timing! I have 4 weeks left of what will ultimately have been a 21 week prep. I have competed many times in the past, just 1 show and prepped between 10-14 weeks. My wife and I got in a small argument last night about the BB lifestyle. She has always been really supportive and has no problem going out on the town without me. However, this extended prep is really taking a toll. I just kept reminding her that it is almost over but reiterating that this is WHO I AM! She never played sports or even exercised for that matter so I think she lacks the competitiveness that we as BB's have. She did end the debate with, " I am proud of your dedication and comittment which felt good...keeping her reign as the greatest woman I have ever met--Brian

[tkokayde]

Originally Posted by musclemass22

Wow, what timing! I have 4 weeks left of what will ultimately have been a 21 week prep. I have competed many times in the past, just 1 show and prepped between 10-14 weeks. My wife and I got in a small argument last night about the BB lifestyle. She has always been really supportive and has no problem going out on the town without me. However, this extended prep is really taking a toll. I just kept reminding her that it is almost over but reiterating that this is WHO I AM! She never played sports or even exercised for that matter so I think she lacks the competitiveness that we as BB's have. She did end the debate with, " I am proud of your dedication and comittment which felt good...keeping her reign as the greatest woman I have ever met--Brian

musclemass - You have a great lady! I will tell you what has really helped my husband understand. First, showing him threads like this that let him know it's not just me, it's not just a girl thing, and the psychological part of all this is real. Second, being around couples that have been through this. We are fortunate to have met some people (at the gym) that either compete or used to compete. My husband is just as relieved to have other guys to talk to about it as I am to find other women who understand what I'm going through. Lol, it's almost like there needs to be a bodybuildingspouses.com support site. Seriously though. Why are we on the bb.com forums? To talk to other people that understand us. Same with our significant others.

[musclemass22]

Yep I think I will show her this thread. She thinks there is no one in the world that exercises more than me........my weights and cardio for prep only take about 2 hours and I usually try to go early while she is sleeping. Nice back in your avatar by the way!-Brian

[tvicemanXXL]

I want to chime in on this.

While it certainly takes some compromise and patience on the person of the relationship that is NOT preparing for a competition, I think many people in prep mode take their lives and prep way, way, way too seriously.

As a person in contest mode, you have to understand that other people (who've never competed) don't comprehend what you're going through. They don't even remotely understand why you have to eat certain foods and a set number of calories every single day, no exceptions. They don't get it - and unless they compete they never will. So, in a sense, YOU have to adjust to them because you're the one that is doing something so extreme and different.

Also, there are competitors who would rather slit their own wrists than slightly deviate from the daily routine they've followed for months. Certainly competing is a daunting task, and if you want to win you need to be very diligent and 100% committed to your diet, but so many make it out to be life or death if they don't have their next meal by a very specific time or they run out of a certain kind of meat or carb and don't have enough common sense to substitute foods for that one meal, delay a few minutes, or switch their meals around. On top of all this, many people on a strict diet genuinely hate their life. And I mean that exactly as it says. They HATE their life. They HATE anyone who forces them to expend an ounce of physical or mental energy beyond their contest prep. I ask you this: what's the point of doing anything if you can't be happy? You, my friend, should step back and reevaluate your priorities. Because if you're this person, at this particular time in your life competing isn't for you.

The "normal" person wants to play beach volleyball in the summer time, drink a beer a few times a week, and get ice cream every once in awhile. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this ----- notice how they're often happier than someone prepping for a contest? You can't blame them not wanting to date competitors either - if they're unable to share experiences they enjoy in life with their significant other, where is the relationship?

You, as a competitor, have to learn to strike a good balance between all that you are involved in - be it family, work, competition, girlfriend, etc.

[musclemass22]

Completely agree Tony.....still trying to find that balance. I get better at it each prep though. When are you going to compete again? You look awesome in your avatar as well!-Brian

[tvicemanXXL]

Originally Posted by musclemass22

Completely agree Tony.....still trying to find that balance. I get better at it each prep though. When are you going to compete again? You look awesome in your avatar as well!-Brian

It's a secret. Shhhh...

[Quelly]

Originally Posted by tvicemanXXL

I want to chime in on this.

While it certainly takes some compromise and patience on the part of the relationship that is NOT preparing for a competition, I think many people in prep mode take their lives and prep way, way, way too seriously.

As a person in contest mode, you have to understand that other people (who've never competed) don't comprehend what you're going through. They don't even remotely understand why you have to eat certain foods and a set number of calories every single day, no exceptions. They don't get it - and unless they compete they never will. So, in a sense, YOU have to adjust to them because you're the one that is doing something so extreme and different.

Also, there are competitors who would rather slit their own wrists than slightly deviate from the daily routine they've followed for months. Certainly competing is a daunting task, and if you want to win you need to be very diligent and 100% committed to your diet, but so many make it out to be life or death if they don't have their next meal by a very specific time or they run out of a certain kind of meat or carb and don't have enough common sense to substitute foods for that one meal, delay a few minutes, or switch their meals around. On top of all this, many people on a strict diet genuinely hate their life. And I mean that exactly as it says. They HATE their life. They HATE anyone who forces them to expend an ounce of physical or mental energy beyond their contest prep. I ask you this: what's the point of doing anything if you can't be happy? You, my friend, should step back and reevaluate your priorities. Because if you're this person, at this particular time in your life competing isn't for you.

The "normal" person wants to play beach volleyball in the summer time, drink a beer a few times a week, and get ice cream every once in awhile. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this ----- notice how they're often happier than someone prepping for a contest? You can't blame them not wanting to date competitors either - if they're unable to share experiences they enjoy in life with their significant other, where is the relationship?

You, as a competitor, have to learn to strike a good balance between all that you are involved in - be it family, work, competition, girlfriend, etc.

excellent post, something every competitive bodybuilder should consider and do some self evaulation about

[tvicemanXXL]

Originally Posted by Quelly

excellent post, something every competitive bodybuilder should consider and do some self evaulation about

Thank you sir. No matter the subject, I try to give the best objective analysis I can. It's not always what people want to hear, but it's always honest!

[Cnstnce]

Originally Posted by tvicemanXXL

I want to chime in on this.

While it certainly takes some compromise and patience on the person of the relationship that is NOT preparing for a competition, I think many people in prep mode take their lives and prep way, way, way too seriously.

As a person in contest mode, you have to understand that other people (who've never competed) don't comprehend what you're going through. They don't even remotely understand why you have to eat certain foods and a set number of calories every single day, no exceptions. They don't get it - and unless they compete they never will. So, in a sense, YOU have to adjust to them because you're the one that is doing something so extreme and different.

Also, there are competitors who would rather slit their own wrists than slightly deviate from the daily routine they've followed for months. Certainly competing is a daunting task, and if you want to win you need to be very diligent and 100% committed to your diet, but so many make it out to be life or death if they don't have their next meal by a very specific time or they run out of a certain kind of meat or carb and don't have enough common sense to substitute foods for that one meal, delay a few minutes, or switch their meals around. On top of all this, many people on a strict diet genuinely hate their life. And I mean that exactly as it says. They HATE their life. They HATE anyone who forces them to expend an ounce of physical or mental energy beyond their contest prep. I ask you this: what's the point of doing anything if you can't be happy? You, my friend, should step back and reevaluate your priorities. Because if you're this person, at this particular time in your life competing isn't for you.

The "normal" person wants to play beach volleyball in the summer time, drink a beer a few times a week, and get ice cream every once in awhile. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this ----- notice how they're often happier than someone prepping for a contest? You can't blame them not wanting to date competitors either - if they're unable to share experiences they enjoy in life with their significant other, where is the relationship?

You, as a competitor, have to learn to strike a good balance between all that you are involved in - be it family, work, competition, girlfriend, etc.

Really fantastic post! It does get hard to remember that others aren't trying to set you up for failure. I know that I have been getting very selfish during this time, and need to learn to let some things go, and to "pick my battles." I, personally, have decided to not date during the end of my prep just to avoid dragging anyone else through the dirt.

Rich and I talked about it today while training. You can't stop others from living their lives, you just have to learn to deal with your decision. Luckily, Rich has found a woman that supports him and makes him a stronger competitor, I hope to find someone that makes me as happy as Angie makes him.

[tvicemanXXL]

Originally Posted by Cnstnce

Really fantastic post! It does get hard to remember that others aren't trying to set you up for failure. I know that I have been getting very selfish during this time, and need to learn to let some things go, and to "pick my battles." I, personally, have decided to not date during the end of my prep just to avoid dragging anyone else through the dirt.

Rich and I talked about it today while training. You can't stop others from living their lives, you just have to learn to deal with your decision. Luckily, Rich has found a woman that supports him and makes him a stronger competitor, I hope to find someone that makes me as happy as Angie makes him.

You're a gorgeous girl and if your personality is as big and strong as your will to compete is, you should have no problem eventually finding Mr. Great!

[jewelofnile]

Great topic all! I think we all take ourselves too seriously sometimes. I find myself doing so when prepping for a contest. Though, I must say, this time around it's been a lot easier. I've also been blessed with a fantastic man who doesn't ever go to the gym but yet completely supports me in my goals. He in the past was a competitve volleyball player and weight lifter but has pulled himself from that lifestyle and now chooses to just support me. I've been blessed. Good luck to you all in finding that Mr/Mrs Right who will stand by you no matter what you choose to do.

And Tviceman, great post. Your original post on this topic spells out my thoughts exactly.

[tkokayde]

Yeah, it's definitely something where you go nuts for that first show. You're trying to learn, your body is changing, your mindset is completely different, your emotions are like a rollercoaster on crack. Once you realize the world isn't going to end if your first coat of tanner is blotchy, life becomes semi-normal again. I think the people that take it to the extreme just can't keep that going forever. There definitely has to be a balance in order to maintain sanity and to be successful for the long haul.

I caught a show on WE last night (my husband was kind enough to DVR it) that was really interesting. It was Secret Lives of Women - Amazon Women. It told the stories of 3 pro-bodybuilders. One of them was talking about the balance of her life, how she prepares for months for one trophy, and then when she gets home she just cries realizing its insignificance. She did say something pretty profound though...Something like "There are three people in each of us. The person we are, the person people see us as, and the person we really are".

[Cnstnce]

Originally Posted by tvicemanXXL

You're a gorgeous girl and if your personality is as big and strong as your will to compete is, you should have no problem eventually finding Mr. Great!

Thanks, my fingers are staying crossed.

[Hulk7280]

Originally Posted by Cnstnce

I havent decided if I would rather see them go down now, or let my Dawgs be the next to embarass them on a national stage. Makes no difference, Dawgs are #1!

haha.. you guys all know you wont get past Florida this year. We will always have your number.
GO GATORS!

btw, to add to the topic. me and my gf got ready for the same show this year. it was awesome because we both were pretty much eating the same thing and she was very understanding with my time commitment ( i had to do way more cardio then her!).. she is the best although towards the end we both got a little cranky!

[jewelofnile]

Originally Posted by tkokayde

"There are three people in each of us. The person we are, the person people see us as, and the person we really are".

What a great line! I have to think about that more often.

I'm dragging today...and the good old boyfriend had to get me out of bed this morning. Again, I'm blessed with one that knows what competing means to me and he does everything to help me reach my goals. I wish everyone could be so lucky!

[Cnstnce]

Originally Posted by Hulk7280

haha.. you guys all know you wont get past Florida this year. We will always have your number.
GO GATORS!

Right, like you had it last year! Dancing in the in-zone, yea, I'm proud, and what?!

[Hulk7280]

Originally Posted by Cnstnce

Right, like you had it last year! Dancing in the in-zone, yea, I'm proud, and what?!

haha.. let see from 1990-2007 .. u have beat us a record 3 times.. 97, 04, 07.. i think its safe to say florida has your number sweetheart

[Cnstnce]

Originally Posted by Hulk7280

haha.. let see from 1990-2007 .. u have beat us a record 3 times.. 97, 04, 07.. i think its safe to say florida has your number sweetheart

Most important number is that 2007 one, we are on to you for good. Tebow doesn't stand a chance. How many times did we sack him last year? Remind me, I forget...lol

[Hulk7280]

Originally Posted by Cnstnce

Most important number is that 2007 one, we are on to you for good. Tebow doesn't stand a chance. How many times did we sack him last year? Remind me, I forget...lol

the most important number is 15-3 in the last 17 years!

Tebow injured his shoulder the week before against Kentucky, so he wasnt able to run the ball like he normally did all season( you know the one he won the hiesman in)

wait till you play him healthy then you will be wearing a orange and blue number 15 jersey in avatar