I love women... just can't understand em'

Paulo · 03-04-2008, 07:57 AM

So last night I get home from hockey and my wife is sleeping on the couch. I wake her up to tell her about the 10 goals I scored (2) and I notice she is wearing something skimpy. I LIKE. So I say "what's that your wearing" and she says "well I wanted some but I fell asleep and now I'm too tired". Well boys we've all been down the IM TOO TIRED road so I decide maybe this one is best left unpersued. So I flick on the SportsCentre and she gets up and says "Good night, lock the door b4 you come up to bed. Alright cool. 5 mins later she comes flying down the stairs all enraged saying "WTF, I put all this effort into turning you on and you don't persue me"? At this point I just about fell of the couch. We fight for like half an hour and I'm like " I wanted it bad... you said you were tired".. and God only knows how many times I've tried to persue the tired, headache, stressed, kids buggin her wife.

Anyone else can relate to this.

SupaDJDiesel · 03-04-2008, 08:01 AM

Strangely, that has happened to me, the only difference is that I didn't "pursue" because I don't want any damn sex.

Al_Pal · 03-04-2008, 08:02 AM

women are illogical, irrational creatures. Understanding them would be an oxymoron.

give up on trying to understand, and crossover to trying to manipulate. you will find much more success.

Paulo · 03-04-2008, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

women are illogical, irrational creatures. Understanding them would be an oxymoron.

give up on trying to understand, and crossover to trying to manipulate. you will find much more success.

She's a smart girl... not easy to manipulate. The thing thats gets me is she thinks I'm completely wrong? Trust me... if I knew her real intentions I would've been all over it.

Al_Pal · 03-04-2008, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulo

She's a smart girl... not easy to manipulate. The thing thats gets me is she thinks I'm completely wrong? Trust me... if I knew her real intentions I would've been all over it.

how hard would it have really been to flip the script on her in that situation?

seriously? could of easily gotten upset with her that she would even tease you like that, and them come at you with the cliche of all cliches "im tired" could have acted so depressed that she would help your marriage fall into such a trap, and then when she even dared to try and blame you for not persuing, you should have pointed out every action she took, mostly not being open and honest, which i am sure she pleads with you to be, that led to this ridiculous argument.

and at that point, if she doesnt admit fault, you walk away. A wise man told me dont argue with fools, cause people from a distance cant tell who is who.

seriously, the argument is never about what a woman claims, so if it it 100% obvious she is in the wrong, and is still wanting to argue... look her in the eyes, aske her if she wants to tell you what this is really about, if not just walk away and tell her you are ready to listen when she is ready to get real.

Guardian · 03-04-2008, 08:18 AM

Guys like stability, women like the chase.

She told u the shes tired bs because she wanted you to put effort into it instead of it being the same old "mmk lets do it." Since you rmarried she prolly gets sick of the same routine, the chase gives it a breath of youth and freshness.

The biggest problem is knowing whether they are the above (which she prolly was) or if they trully are tired. Only time, experience, and luck will give you that answer.

Paulo · 03-04-2008, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

how hard would it have really been to flip the script on her in that situation?

seriously? could of easily gotten upset with her that she would even tease you like that, and them come at you with the cliche of all cliches "im tired" could have acted so depressed that she would help your marriage fall into such a trap, and then when she even dared to try and blame you for not persuing, you should have pointed out every action she took, mostly not being open and honest, which i am sure she pleads with you to be, that led to this ridiculous argument.

and at that point, if she doesnt admit fault, you walk away. A wise man told me dont argue with fools, cause people from a distance cant tell who is who.

seriously, the argument is never about what a woman claims, so if it it 100% obvious she is in the wrong, and is still wanting to argue... look her in the eyes, aske her if she wants to tell you what this is really about, if not just walk away and tell her you are ready to listen when she is ready to get real.

That's a good response.. reps...you make alot of good points and I did argue back with her.. but she turned it into a "i make effort when I don't feel good about myself" (we have an 8 month old and she hasnt quite recovered) so I do feel for her in that respect. I learned to just take everything she has to say, let her vent... they're women... they love hearing themselves talk. Eventually everything just smoothed over.

Ellimist · 03-04-2008, 08:21 AM

Welcome to being a guy. Your membership card is in the mail.

Paulo · 03-04-2008, 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Guardian

Guys like stability, women like the chase.

She told u the shes tired bs because she wanted you to put effort into it instead of it being the same old "mmk lets do it." Since you rmarried she prolly gets sick of the same routine, the chase gives it a breath of youth and freshness.

The biggest problem is knowing whether they are the above (which she prolly was) or if they trully are tired. Only time, experience, and luck will give you that answer.

She said that man... she wants to be persued... and I dont mind playing cat and mouse it can be fun... but I totally thought she was tired... I mean she was sleeping and all

Al_Pal · 03-04-2008, 08:23 AM

dont be an enabler though.

she is using the 8 month old as a cruch, and your acceptence/support is an honorable thing, but a potentially damaging. When you start to enable excuses like that, it can have a snowball effect. she is gonna get fat, and you are going to let it happen. and then she wont **** you no more cause she thinks she is to fat to be sexy... ahhhh!!!!!!

im never getting married, lol.

magnabolt · 03-04-2008, 08:25 AM

Schopenhauer on women.

http://www.americanwomensuck.com/for...showtopic=9880

Paulo · 03-04-2008, 08:29 AM

SHe's not fat... just has some stretched skin from pregnancy...you have to be compassionate... they go through some crazy ****... and all in all marriage is a good thing man... I really enjoy it most days

wartytoad · 03-04-2008, 09:47 AM

You sound like a great guy and very understanding husband. Somewhere down in that hormone riddled brain she knows this! (I can say that.. having a hormone riddled brain myself.) This won't help your current fight, but one thing my my husband and I came up with was..signals. Real concrete ones. The signals I thought were obvious, flew right past him

LOL For example, a lit candle in the bedroom, or a certain throw on the bed (something sexy.. like fur or velvet is great!), maybe even a specific perfume.. something girly she will like, that will act as a beacon for you. She still feels sexy, and you know what's going on. And no.. this doesn't mean there HAS to be this signal from her.. just means a sure thing when it's there.

TheJuicedchase · 03-04-2008, 09:50 AM

lol how did you end up married?

It's more than obvious she wanted you to rip her lingerie off and pound her. You're supposed to say oh....well honey....I don't give a **** if you're tired because I want that pussy.

Paulo · 03-04-2008, 10:13 AM

Warty- I know the obvious signals...she should have been more clear. On a different day I would have persued it and she woulda snapped at me.

TheJuiced-
Cliffs
-19 year old college student get gf pregnant
-keeps baby and both finish college
-get married when done college
-have another baby
-proud father of 2 in a happy marriage without any regrets

disbeast57 · 03-04-2008, 10:20 AM

wemenz are crazy!!!!!

I love my fiencee, but sometimes she gives me the biggest headache from stupid **** that girls do!!

VariantInterval · 03-04-2008, 10:38 AM

Dude...any time you see a woman put in effort to turn you on or please you, give her props and go at it, regardless of what she says.

MONIKAPL · 03-25-2008, 07:25 PM

hehehe.... funny reading this.... Come on boys, we are not always like that

Next time just start kissing her all over when she tells you she is tired..... and you might actually wake her up

slacombe · 03-25-2008, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MONIKAPL

hehehe.... funny reading this.... Come on boys, we are not always like that

Next time just start kissing her all over when she tells you she is tired..... and you might actually wake her up

Next time he will kiss her all over she will snap at him.

"I JUST TOLD YOU I'M TOO TIRED"

I've been single for the last 9 years and you have no idea how happy i am to not cope with that ****. All that stupid female crap for some sex? Lol do not want.

Hisgirl · 03-26-2008, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MONIKAPL

hehehe.... funny reading this.... Come on boys, we are not always like that

Next time just start kissing her all over when she tells you she is tired..... and you might actually wake her up

Damn straight. The thing to remember, is that she was STILL in the sexy underwear, so she was STILL wanting some. If she was truly tired, she would have been upstairs curled up in her flanellette pj's under a huge blanket.

If she says she is tired, say "okay baby" and then sweep her up into your arms, and proceed to carry her up to the bedroom. I guarantee you that the moment you do this, she will be all over you. and despite what all the stickers in bathrooms tell you, no doesn't mean yes. No means "not right now, but you can convince me".

Npeart · 03-26-2008, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulo

So last night I get home from hockey and my wife is sleeping on the couch. I wake her up to tell her about the 10 goals I scored (2) and I notice she is wearing something skimpy. I LIKE. So I say "what's that your wearing" and she says "well I wanted some but I fell asleep and now I'm too tired". Well boys we've all been down the IM TOO TIRED road so I decide maybe this one is best left unpersued. So I flick on the SportsCentre and she gets up and says "Good night, lock the door b4 you come up to bed. Alright cool. 5 mins later she comes flying down the stairs all enraged saying "WTF, I put all this effort into turning you on and you don't persue me"? At this point I just about fell of the couch. We fight for like half an hour and I'm like " I wanted it bad... you said you were tired".. and God only knows how many times I've tried to persue the tired, headache, stressed, kids buggin her wife.

Anyone else can relate to this.

Yet another example of them thinking we are mind readers. Personally, I would have tried anyway even after she said she was tired. I just don't really like taking no for an answer. Never have.

If she is in something skimpy, assume she wants some.

BlackHermit · 03-26-2008, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

how hard would it have really been to flip the script on her in that situation?

seriously? could of easily gotten upset with her that she would even tease you like that, and them come at you with the cliche of all cliches "im tired" could have acted so depressed that she would help your marriage fall into such a trap, and then when she even dared to try and blame you for not persuing, you should have pointed out every action she took, mostly not being open and honest, which i am sure she pleads with you to be, that led to this ridiculous argument.

and at that point, if she doesnt admit fault, you walk away. A wise man told me dont argue with fools, cause people from a distance cant tell who is who.

seriously, the argument is never about what a woman claims, so if it it 100% obvious she is in the wrong, and is still wanting to argue... look her in the eyes, aske her if she wants to tell you what this is really about, if not just walk away and tell her you are ready to listen when she is ready to get real.

^^ Best advice I've heard in a long time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MONIKAPL

hehehe.... funny reading this.... Come on boys, we are not always like that

Next time just start kissing her all over when she tells you she is tired..... and you might actually wake her up

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hisgirl

Damn straight. The thing to remember, is that she was STILL in the sexy underwear, so she was STILL wanting some. If she was truly tired, she would have been upstairs curled up in her flanellette pj's under a huge blanket.

If she says she is tired, say "okay baby" and then sweep her up into your arms, and proceed to carry her up to the bedroom. I guarantee you that the moment you do this, she will be all over you. and despite what all the stickers in bathrooms tell you, no doesn't mean yes. No means "not right now, but you can convince me".

I cant believe I'm saying this, but these two are wrong. I did exactly what they said to do. My 8 year relationship is now over because of it.

IMO, theres a bigger issue than her getting dressed up and you not pursuing. Talk to her when her emotions/hormones are calm again.

Hisgirl · 03-26-2008, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackHermit

^^

I cant believe I'm saying this, but these two are wrong. I did exactly what they said to do. My 8 year relationship is now over because of it.

IMO, theres a bigger issue than her getting dressed up and you not pursuing. Talk to her when her emotions/hormones are calm again.

No, I think you need to realise that unless there is some underlying flaw in your relationship, what the other lady and I have said, should work. Obviously if your relationship is in trouble already, there is nothing you can do to avoid it.

BlackHermit · 03-26-2008, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hisgirl

No, I think you need to realise that unless there is some underlying flaw in your relationship, what the other lady and I have said, should work. Obviously if your relationship is in trouble already, there is nothing you can do to avoid it.

Well to be fair I did exagerate in my previous post. Obviously we didnt break up over the whole "pursuing" thing, but I did as you both said, and it didnt make an ounce of difference.

My point is, its a silly game she played and there is no way he is going to win.
She holds all the cards, he holds none. She's making the rules up as she goes, infact, I'd bet my left nut SHE doesnt even know the rules, so how the hell is HE meant to?

Instead of coming out and saying "Hey baby, I'm feeling like I'm a big fatarse after having this baby of ours, and I need you to show me that you still love me and that I'm still the hottest thing on 2 legs, cuz right now I'm doubting it big time," she pulls this kinda crap (No offense to Op or his wife). To me, thats playing games. They're married now, she needs to open the lines of commmunication with him up.

If you tell a guy something, he's going to take it litterally. Tell him no, and he'll most likely shrug his shoulders, go to his room and fap himself off. (Unless there is an underlying problem in the relationship). Women need to wise up to that fact. Its an easier rule than the subtle (or sometimes unsubtle) hints that women like to throw out and then wonder why men dont pick them up. It's also very upfront and honest.

And as for the whole convincing thing. Ok, I understand what you mean, and I agree. Done properly, this can work, I've done it myself. But its probably not the advice I would give a bunch of under 25 year old horny guys. (yes aware the Op is older, but others read these threads and they are mainly in the first demographic)
Where do they draw the line? When does "convincing" overstep the line and become "harrasing/annoying/begging or seeming desperate". Unless you can give step by step instructions on how to do this, WITH a trouble shooting guide of what to do should things go wrong (complete with FAQ) then I think its asking for trouble.
Its also not fair. If you say no, and we take it literally, get over it.
What if we played the same games?
Her "what would you like for dinner honey?"
Him: Steak and vegies
She makes steak and vegies
Him: "WTF?? When I asked for steak and vegies I really meant Pasta! Cant you see that? Dont you know me by now? Cant you read my moods and tell that I was in a Pasta mood not a steak and vegies mood even if I said I was?"
Slight exageration, but you see my point.

Also, if she's still hormonal (I know nothing about pregnant women so I'm not even going to pretend I do), then I recon no matter what he did he would have been stuffed. He should probably just forget about it and keep being supportive etc. Eventually when the hormones go away, she will realise how silly she was and apreciate how sane he stayed through the whole thing.

Personally, thats what I would be doing, along with trying to make her feel sexy/gorgeous/desirable etc. The rest is up to her.

jahgregory · 03-26-2008, 10:46 AM

every married guy i know tells me never to get married. i'l prob. give it a shot someday though... i guess in that way us guys are pretty illogical too.

user437490845hjge · 03-26-2008, 11:21 AM

Her "logic" was that you should have pursued her anyway and tried to get some. Since you didn't she took it to as a sign of not caring about her even though she claimed she was tired. She needs to feel like you want her no matter what, that you can't live without her, and that you will put effort into it anyway when she refuses you. Since this wasn't the reaction she got, she went bat**** over it.

But this is exactly why you don't pursue her. It sends her the message that she is expendable and not all that. Women can't handle rejection like that. She'll be angry at first and lash out verbally big time but hold your ground and don't get into her verbal game. Trust me, she'll become amorous once the anger subsides - it could be hours or days but she will become horny for you.