Gonna go play with the Big Girls!

[NC_Fitdiva]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

1

At this point driving yourself into the ground is just what needs to be done! I know that I'm tired but I finally feel like I'm making progress and that this is what I need to do to feel like I'm a competitor...crackheaded I know, but I guess this is my psych out to keep myself going. I'll rest in 5 weeks...well, on the weekends I do get to sleep in until 6 (LOL!! I'm such a slacker). I'll get back to your journal though - interested to see whose ass you've been kickin or vice versa!




Girl, you know its already been planned out! We're only cycling now to slim down but it will come to a halt again. On my big carb day I get the usual sweet potato and grapefruit. In about a week, he'll cut all of that out, and in about 2 weeks he'll cut out all artifical flavoring including protein powder...in a little while I'll be strictly green beans and chicken - oh, and eggs...blah!! I'll have to replace my protein shake in the morning with egg whites...this is when the real torture begins.

I am also really sensitive to carbs - when I'm carb loading, I start the night before with salt-free rice cakes, PB, real fruit jelly, and honey. I'll do that twice and then switch to sweet potato. The morning of show, I'll start with the rice cake PB&J, then switch of to sweet potato - we'll alter every hour. I didn't spill over although I was afraid that I would but everything was really low portion.


Hey girlie!! I"m trying to get some pics...I might have to have someone follow me around with a camera while I workot just so I don't have to stop. Hmm, that's not a bad idea.


Its not easy!

LOL!! Time?

I'll have the shirt made up tomorrow 'Bad Ass'!

I'm getting used to it


On the weekend its easy...I get up, train and 1 hr of cardio; leave, eat, run an errand, another hour of cardio - rinse and repeat!

On the weekdays, however, a little bit tougher. I have to make sure I'm out the house before 5am. If I know its going to be a long day, I'll hit 1.5 of my cardio and shower, change at the gym...I look like I'm leaving town for the weekend when I load my car up, its kind of funny! Then, after work, I'll get in as much cardio as I can before I train my clients and then finish up...I don't always get in the full 3 hours because I refuse to be at the gym past 9pm..gotta get home and prep for the next day.

And yes!!! He won't tell me that he's upset with me until he is happy with me...but I can see it on his face! So, I have an extra boost of energy!

I'm trying to get pictures...I haven't stood still long enough to get pics..but I'll do better!



It will definitely reduce muscle mass - I can really tell a difference. Plus, my abs are a lot more defined so it won't be such a stressful battle to get them to come in. The goal is to rush it now instead of last minute. Last year I did cardio pretty much until I stepped on stage...I'd rather get killed now and recover the week of the show so I'm not so tired and achy!

Cool. Your coach better not be upset with you...I hope he's just concerned b/c he wants you to shine on stage and he knows what your comp will look like. As long as your not cheating yourself there's no way he can possible be upset with you!! If he is, then fire his azzz!! He should be proud!

[thenewchamp]

Hmmm, yeah...fell asleep at a stop light - almost got into an accident.

one month .... one month... and then I can get my act back together and get some sleep. LOL!

[NC_Fitdiva]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

Hmmm, yeah...fell asleep at a stop light - almost got into an accident.

one month .... one month... and then I can get my act back together and get some sleep. LOL!

Thank God for Angels!!! One more month!

[earl360]

To Cheryl from Earl....

Invest in some coffee! No more falling asleep in traffic....that's enough to give your fans a heart attack! (wink)

- E

[twinnett]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

Hmmm, yeah...fell asleep at a stop light - almost got into an accident.

one month .... one month... and then I can get my act back together and get some sleep. LOL!

Hang in there girl!!!! Caffeine!!!!

[thenewchamp]

I still don't like the way I look...I'm flat because of lack of carbs and all I can see are flaws and areas of improvement (who doesn't, right?)

I got my second wind when I put on last year's suit and saw that my belly didn't hang over the edges...its a little comforting. But my arms look really small to me and I'm too tired to pose correctly - but these are my 5 week pics...so please, be gentle.

[NC_Fitdiva]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

I still don't like the way I look...I'm flat because of lack of carbs and all I can see are flaws and areas of improvement (who doesn't, right?)

I got my second wind when I put on last year's suit and saw that my belly didn't hang over the edges...its a little comforting. But my arms look really small to me and I'm too tired to pose correctly - but these are my 5 week pics...so please, be gentle.

Hey Champ!! Now we all know we are our worst critics....alot can happen in 5 weeks! I think our body perceptions are similar to an anorexic...no matter what we do, it'll never be good enough....just the nature of the beast!! Stay focused, your doing great!

Lucky you, atleast in 5 weeks you'll be able to eat! I'm already dieing w/ the diet and it's only been 2 weeks!

[Buffycat3]

Beautiful pictures!
5 weeks to go...Keep pushing, Keep up the motivation.

I am in the same state as you...I am 6wks out and I need to really improve on tightening up.
You are much closer than I, Your back and legs are smokin!
You will get there, just keep your eye on the prize

[shankuan]

Hey Cheryl:

At 5 weeks out you have not a thing to worry about! We indeed are our own worst critics but if we weren't we wouldnt push ourseves as hard. you yourself said, you'll have time to sleep, eat, relax afterwards...so give it all you've got right now. The leg sweep is looking really good, not to mention your back. Just so i'm clear your doing both figure and bbing? Well start practicing the poses...and believe me you will see the difference it makes it how your muscles look..along with all your other measures of course!

Looking good, keep working hard, we are all behind you and we know you'll nail it when comp day comes around!

[thenewchamp]

As I predicted. The carb cycling is over - I'm off carbs until show time!

We're keeping with the 3 hours of cardio, and I'm posing every night. Workouts are the same and I'm getting bored with them. I'll switch up the order and/or time of day just for a little bit of variety but I'm too tired to think of anything else to do.

Originally Posted by NC_Fitdiva

Hey Champ!! Now we all know we are our worst critics....alot can happen in 5 weeks! I think our body perceptions are similar to an anorexic...no matter what we do, it'll never be good enough....just the nature of the beast!! Stay focused, your doing great!

Lucky you, atleast in 5 weeks you'll be able to eat! I'm already dieing w/ the diet and it's only been 2 weeks!

Violence is not the answer...can't threaten someone who is carb deprived. Although I don't miss eating them, I'm liable to break down in tears at any moment.

And you are correct - we are never good enough and will never be satisfied. I'm not happy with the way I look because I know what I looked liked at the last show even though I'm not happy with that anymore *sigh*. I really hate that what I see in the mirror does not translate into pictures

I felt the same way when I first started dieting...sick of the norm - really really hard not to cheat this time around!!

Originally Posted by Buffycat3

Beautiful pictures!
5 weeks to go...Keep pushing, Keep up the motivation.

I am in the same state as you...I am 6wks out and I need to really improve on tightening up.
You are much closer than I, Your back and legs are smokin!
You will get there, just keep your eye on the prize

Uh - I saw your pics. You let me know where you think to tighten because you look great and make me want to call you names. LOL!!

Originally Posted by shankuan

Hey Cheryl:

At 5 weeks out you have not a thing to worry about! We indeed are our own worst critics but if we weren't we wouldnt push ourseves as hard. you yourself said, you'll have time to sleep, eat, relax afterwards...so give it all you've got right now. The leg sweep is looking really good, not to mention your back. Just so i'm clear your doing both figure and bbing? Well start practicing the poses...and believe me you will see the difference it makes it how your muscles look..along with all your other measures of course!

Looking good, keep working hard, we are all behind you and we know you'll nail it when comp day comes around!

Thanks - I kind of feel like the leg sweep is all I have right now. LOL!! I'm going to try BB in October for the first time!!

I'm really looking foward to a vaccation - Mark wants to vaccay in the Bahamas!! If there is ever incentive to get this done ....

[TheSheepdog]

not bad for 5 weeks out, maybe a tad off, but you will do great. that last pic was a very good pic. you have the best trainer you can have for bodybuilding and perhaps for precontest dieting so you should be ok

how many weeks out did you start?

[TheSheepdog]

btw, can you show us a rear double bi and a rear lat spread

[twinnett]

lol to your comments to Joan!

Your back is freakin' sweet!!!! Your posing looks good too!!! I love your quads!!!

[thenewchamp]

I'm embarassed to say this but as of 12:30pm today I gave up. I've been an emotional mess for the past couple days...so stressed out and a little beaten up. I sent Armymuscle this email:

Donald, I give up...right now I just don't want to do this show. I don't have my suit or the money to get it; If I order it there is no guarentee that It'll be done in time since they want you to request it 4-6 weeks out...as of today I'm less then 4 weeks and the original place that submitted a request to will no call me back so I don't know what to do..

I'm so stressed out and I'm behind...I didn't finish my workouts, or practice posing last night. I'm so tired that I fell asleep last night and woke up late this morning. Everyday counts and I do not have any energy to do a God !@#$ thing!! I know that my body will not be ready and I just want to break down. This is so much worse then last time and I really think that I need to step back and not compete next month. I don't know what to do.

***he let me know that I shouldn't do it if my heart's not in it and maybe take a break but continue to train. After a few encouraging words, he suggested that I get an opinion from those of you who read my thread.***

At work, I was so unfocused that I left...I got into my car and started driving. I suddenly wanted a hamburger so I started looking for a joint. I called Mark and we talked for a second. He reminded me how hard I had worked and that my heart was in it ... but there are a lot of circumstances that are making this go around a lot harder. He'll support me in whatever I decide to do...but I shouldn't be driving when I'm pissed off cuz I'm liable to run someone down just to put a smile on my face. When I hung up with him I pulled into the Burger King parking lot. Then I kept driving and went back to work. My mind was still unsettled but I knew that all my options weren't shut down.

My phone was ringing as I got back to my desk. Its Rachel from sensational designs...'we have the pattern and fabric that you were requesting. Can you come in for a fitting next Thursday?'

Its an instant sigh of relief. I'm glad that I didn't eat and knowing that I'll get my suits in time for the show...my Omen. Even though the sponsorship money that was promised me will not be coming in, Mark's company and partner are paying for my suits and hotel...*sigh* I guess I'm not giving up yet.

[TheSheepdog]

i like whoppers...im just saying

[serinebean]

Oh man...
what a day.

Is your heart in this? I guess is what you have to ask yourself.
You cant use the suit as an excuse now..lol...thats awesome that she called in that moment.

I am glad you didnt give into a burger....ugh....it really wouldnt be what you wanted, I dont think. More like a rebellion?? Plus, like 5 mins after you swallow, you are like, "that wasnt that great, and not worth all that g-damn cardio!!".


Hang tight woman. I know you dont know me from Jack...but I feel where you are coming from!

So go strong if you can, if not....there are always more comps.

[twinnett]

We're here for you...you know that..no matter what you decide! You aren't a failure if you don't want to compete...if it's too much..you sound so stressed..but if you decide to give it your all, then you'll be a success!!

[TheSheepdog]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

I'm embarassed to say this but as of 12:30pm today I gave up. I've been an emotional mess for the past couple days...so stressed out and a little beaten up. I sent Armymuscle this email:

Donald, I give up...right now I just don't want to do this show. I don't have my suit or the money to get it; If I order it there is no guarentee that It'll be done in time since they want you to request it 4-6 weeks out...as of today I'm less then 4 weeks and the original place that submitted a request to will no call me back so I don't know what to do..

I'm so stressed out and I'm behind...I didn't finish my workouts, or practice posing last night. I'm so tired that I fell asleep last night and woke up late this morning. Everyday counts and I do not have any energy to do a God !@#$ thing!! I know that my body will not be ready and I just want to break down. This is so much worse then last time and I really think that I need to step back and not compete next month. I don't know what to do.

***he let me know that I shouldn't do it if my heart's not in it and maybe take a break but continue to train. After a few encouraging words, he suggested that I get an opinion from those of you who read my thread.***

At work, I was so unfocused that I left...I got into my car and started driving. I suddenly wanted a hamburger so I started looking for a joint. I called Mark and we talked for a second. He reminded me how hard I had worked and that my heart was in it ... but there are a lot of circumstances that are making this go around a lot harder. He'll support me in whatever I decide to do...but I shouldn't be driving when I'm pissed off cuz I'm liable to run someone down just to put a smile on my face. When I hung up with him I pulled into the Burger King parking lot. Then I kept driving and went back to work. My mind was still unsettled but I knew that all my options weren't shut down.

My phone was ringing as I got back to my desk. Its Rachel from sensational designs...'we have the pattern and fabric that you were requesting. Can you come in for a fitting next Thursday?'

Its an instant sigh of relief. I'm glad that I didn't eat and knowing that I'll get my suits in time for the show...my Omen. Even though the sponsorship money that was promised me will not be coming in, Mark's company and partner are paying for my suits and hotel...*sigh* I guess I'm not giving up yet.

but is your heart in it?
dont half ass it

[amj0883]

WOW - it sounds like you have been on an emotional rollercoaster! Were all behind you 100% regardless of your decision - but I do agree that the first question you must answer is if your hearts in it and if it is you'll do amazing!!!! I am happy to hear that they got the fabric for your suit though - thats one sigh of relief...

[NC_Fitdiva]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

I'm embarassed to say this but as of 12:30pm today I gave up. I've been an emotional mess for the past couple days...so stressed out and a little beaten up. I sent Armymuscle this email:

Donald, I give up...right now I just don't want to do this show. I don't have my suit or the money to get it; If I order it there is no guarentee that It'll be done in time since they want you to request it 4-6 weeks out...as of today I'm less then 4 weeks and the original place that submitted a request to will no call me back so I don't know what to do..

I'm so stressed out and I'm behind...I didn't finish my workouts, or practice posing last night. I'm so tired that I fell asleep last night and woke up late this morning. Everyday counts and I do not have any energy to do a God !@#$ thing!! I know that my body will not be ready and I just want to break down. This is so much worse then last time and I really think that I need to step back and not compete next month. I don't know what to do.

***he let me know that I shouldn't do it if my heart's not in it and maybe take a break but continue to train. After a few encouraging words, he suggested that I get an opinion from those of you who read my thread.***

At work, I was so unfocused that I left...I got into my car and started driving. I suddenly wanted a hamburger so I started looking for a joint. I called Mark and we talked for a second. He reminded me how hard I had worked and that my heart was in it ... but there are a lot of circumstances that are making this go around a lot harder. He'll support me in whatever I decide to do...but I shouldn't be driving when I'm pissed off cuz I'm liable to run someone down just to put a smile on my face. When I hung up with him I pulled into the Burger King parking lot. Then I kept driving and went back to work. My mind was still unsettled but I knew that all my options weren't shut down.

My phone was ringing as I got back to my desk. Its Rachel from sensational designs...'we have the pattern and fabric that you were requesting. Can you come in for a fitting next Thursday?'

Its an instant sigh of relief. I'm glad that I didn't eat and knowing that I'll get my suits in time for the show...my Omen. Even though the sponsorship money that was promised me will not be coming in, Mark's company and partner are paying for my suits and hotel...*sigh* I guess I'm not giving up yet.

Champ!!! You have absolutely nothing 2b embarrassed about!! Now you know I can find 100 other competitors that have been in your same situation...hell, I've been there tooo many times!!

I agree with what everyone has said...is your heart in it? If not, that's OK!! I PROMISE, THIS IS NOT THE LAST SHOW!! There will be other shows to compete in...if you're not feeling it...so be it.. you'll hit that stage when you're ready!! I think it takes a lot to recognize when you can't give your all...take a step back. I just don't want you to beat yourself up!! B/C at the end of the day...this is a HOBBY!!! Look at the PROs in any federation, maybe 1% if that much of all PROs are making a substantial living off of this!! You gotta do it b/c it is in your heart...and trust me, it's OK if you sit this one out..and it's OK if you don't!! But this is what I don't want..I don't want you to get on stage if your not 100% confident b/c it'll show....

I'm glad you didn't eat that hamburger!! The Lord knew you needed that phone call...atleast you don't have to worry about the suit anymore! I'm here for ya!!

[NC_Fitdiva]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

I'm embarassed to say this but as of 12:30pm today I gave up. I've been an emotional mess for the past couple days...so stressed out and a little beaten up. I sent Armymuscle this email:

Donald, I give up...right now I just don't want to do this show. I don't have my suit or the money to get it; If I order it there is no guarentee that It'll be done in time since they want you to request it 4-6 weeks out...as of today I'm less then 4 weeks and the original place that submitted a request to will no call me back so I don't know what to do..

I'm so stressed out and I'm behind...I didn't finish my workouts, or practice posing last night. I'm so tired that I fell asleep last night and woke up late this morning. Everyday counts and I do not have any energy to do a God !@#$ thing!! I know that my body will not be ready and I just want to break down. This is so much worse then last time and I really think that I need to step back and not compete next month. I don't know what to do.

***he let me know that I shouldn't do it if my heart's not in it and maybe take a break but continue to train. After a few encouraging words, he suggested that I get an opinion from those of you who read my thread.***

At work, I was so unfocused that I left...I got into my car and started driving. I suddenly wanted a hamburger so I started looking for a joint. I called Mark and we talked for a second. He reminded me how hard I had worked and that my heart was in it ... but there are a lot of circumstances that are making this go around a lot harder. He'll support me in whatever I decide to do...but I shouldn't be driving when I'm pissed off cuz I'm liable to run someone down just to put a smile on my face. When I hung up with him I pulled into the Burger King parking lot. Then I kept driving and went back to work. My mind was still unsettled but I knew that all my options weren't shut down.

My phone was ringing as I got back to my desk. Its Rachel from sensational designs...'we have the pattern and fabric that you were requesting. Can you come in for a fitting next Thursday?'

Its an instant sigh of relief. I'm glad that I didn't eat and knowing that I'll get my suits in time for the show...my Omen. Even though the sponsorship money that was promised me will not be coming in, Mark's company and partner are paying for my suits and hotel...*sigh* I guess I'm not giving up yet.

Champ!!! You have absolutely nothing 2b embarrassed about!! Now you know I can find 100 other competitors that have been in your same situation...hell, I've been there tooo many times!!

I agree with what everyone has said...is your heart in it? If not, that's OK!! I PROMISE, THIS IS NOT THE LAST SHOW!! There will be other shows to compete in...if you're not feeling it...so be it.. you'll hit that stage when you're ready!! I think it takes a lot to recognize when you can't give your all...take a step back. I just don't want you to beat yourself up!! B/C at the end of the day...this is a HOBBY!!! Look at the PROs in any federation, maybe 1% if that much of all PROs are making a substantial living off of this!! You gotta do it b/c it is in your heart...and trust me, it's OK if you sit this one out..and it's OK if you don't!! But this is what I don't want..I don't want you to get on stage if your not 100% confident b/c it'll show....

I'm glad you didn't eat that hamburger!! The Lord knew you needed that phone call...atleast you don't have to worry about the suit anymore! I'm here for ya!!

[Buffycat3]

Cheryl...I really understand your frustrastions and doubts.
I had a case of the jitters and self doubt. It's very natural to feel scared and unsure at this point.
But it can pass.

I am happy that your mental state has changed and you are taking a change in heart for this comp.
Looking at the fact that Mark's company and partner are paying for your suits and hotel...Is a Big push to keep on pushing!
(the money part of my comp is a Big hinder, and it is a bit of a killer..money is tight)

So Good For YOU Girl!!
I support you, in what ever you decide!

[thenewchamp]

Originally Posted by armymuscle01

i like whoppers...im just saying

go eat one!

Originally Posted by serinebean

Oh man...
what a day.

Is your heart in this? I guess is what you have to ask yourself.
You cant use the suit as an excuse now..lol...thats awesome that she called in that moment.

I am glad you didnt give into a burger....ugh....it really wouldnt be what you wanted, I dont think. More like a rebellion?? Plus, like 5 mins after you swallow, you are like, "that wasnt that great, and not worth all that g-damn cardio!!".


Hang tight woman. I know you dont know me from Jack...but I feel where you are coming from!

So go strong if you can, if not....there are always more comps.

I agree, it happens a lot now...I'll want something and think it'll be so good and then after the first bite I remember 'I never really cared for this'...the hype is a lot better then reality. LOL!!

Originally Posted by twinnett

We're here for you...you know that..no matter what you decide! You aren't a failure if you don't want to compete...if it's too much..you sound so stressed..but if you decide to give it your all, then you'll be a success!!

I hate feeling so negative and down...I've got to fix my attitude quick!!!

Originally Posted by armymuscle01

but is your heart in it?
dont half ass it

Originally Posted by amj0883

WOW - it sounds like you have been on an emotional rollercoaster! Were all behind you 100% regardless of your decision - but I do agree that the first question you must answer is if your hearts in it and if it is you'll do amazing!!!! I am happy to hear that they got the fabric for your suit though - thats one sigh of relief...

And I usually love roller coasters...Thanks for the luv!!

Originally Posted by NC_Fitdiva

Champ!!! You have absolutely nothing 2b embarrassed about!! Now you know I can find 100 other competitors that have been in your same situation...hell, I've been there tooo many times!!

I agree with what everyone has said...is your heart in it? If not, that's OK!! I PROMISE, THIS IS NOT THE LAST SHOW!! There will be other shows to compete in...if you're not feeling it...so be it.. you'll hit that stage when you're ready!! I think it takes a lot to recognize when you can't give your all...take a step back. I just don't want you to beat yourself up!! B/C at the end of the day...this is a HOBBY!!! Look at the PROs in any federation, maybe 1% if that much of all PROs are making a substantial living off of this!! You gotta do it b/c it is in your heart...and trust me, it's OK if you sit this one out..and it's OK if you don't!! But this is what I don't want..I don't want you to get on stage if your not 100% confident b/c it'll show....

I'm glad you didn't eat that hamburger!! The Lord knew you needed that phone call...atleast you don't have to worry about the suit anymore! I'm here for ya!!

Thanks girlie!! Yes, its a hobby that has become a passion and even though its all I want to do...I've got to get rid of these other distractions or I won't be any good!!

Originally Posted by Buffycat3

Cheryl...I really understand your frustrastions and doubts.
I had a case of the jitters and self doubt. It's very natural to feel scared and unsure at this point.
But it can pass.

I am happy that your mental state has changed and you are taking a change in heart for this comp.
Looking at the fact that Mark's company and partner are paying for your suits and hotel...Is a Big push to keep on pushing!
(the money part of my comp is a Big hinder, and it is a bit of a killer..money is tight)

So Good For YOU Girl!!
I support you, in what ever you decide!

Thanks for the support. I had a panic attack last show time too...Like I told Diva, I need to rid myself of the preventable distractions that cause extra stress - I might pop off and start beating people down just to relieve tension...*sigh* I need a sparring partner.

***Yes, my heart is in this. If it wasn't I wouldn't have gotten this far and I would have caved in yesterday. I had a wake up call this morning through a PM...I tend to forget how lucky I am to have this site and to have the support given to me...some people don't and they go about this on their own. I'm not sure what I would do or if I would be able to be and stay strong if I was in their position...
So, I'm gonna suck it up and get some rest...manage my time better and not let my client's take advantage. I'm hyped up on a ton of caffeine, my gym bags are packed and so are all my meals...

I've got this!!

[TheSheepdog]

[thenewchamp]

After a couple days of bed rest I'm bouncing back from some set backs...Since I've been out of commission I will not make it to next weekend's show. I've missed my fitting and my suit is not ready...I'm not upset about it because you can't really get mad about things you can't change. The positive, I will feel better stepping on stage with a little bit more time to tighten up and lose the excess weight from the bulking.

I've got some medical 'personal' issues to resolve and when that is handled I will be able to focus 100%.

Keep me in your thoughts! In the meantime I will be looking for a new trainer, researching and learning my body and what will work best for me...safely! LOL!

[Buffycat3]

Cheryl...even though I am sad you cannot go through with your goal of competing next weekend, and it's because of your medical problem....I am happy that you are not down about it, and you are accepting what has been thrown at you.
And with this attitude of self assurance that you WILL compete and carry out your goal at another time...Is VERY inspirational to everyone!

Best of luck in finding another trainer...I wish you nothing but the best.

And I pray whatever your medical problem is, you 'heal' quickly from it.

Take Care and Be Strong!!

[twinnett]

I'm keeping you in my thoughts! What a great attitude you have! So many people would be all pissed and angry!!

[Simpy]

Best of luck to you. You'll get this figured out, but first you have to deal with whatever's going on with your body.

[ubermumma]

WOW I've missed a lot, I'm sorry not to have been around

Of course we'll keep you in our thoughts....and fully support all your decisions. But take care of your first, we'll be here

[MuscleMom]

Thinking about you and keeping you in my thoughts!