Women are not so nice

[MsFitFern]

We are pretty much all nice on here, BUT what is with women in general? At my last show I got shot so many dirty looks from BB's girlfriends and wives that I wanted to smack someone. The girls in my figure show were all great, but actually there were a couple that didn't use the dressing room and kept themselves seperate from us that did shoot dirty looks. I am mainly talking about the women you walk by and you hear them say, "yeah, I saw her".......blah,blah,blah. Even at my job I hear them talking about other women all the time. They never have much of anything nice to say. Instead of saying about a pretty woman "damn, she is gorgeous" they will say, "she looks like a bitch" or something similar. I imagine it's easier for some women to be this way, but I have tried really hard to not do this. I have made it a point to compliment women because frankly it's much better to get a compliment from a woman than a man. I'm totally straight, love my man, but damn.if you have a nice butt or awesome hammies.........I am going to tell you as much. And how good does it feel to get a compliment from someone who isnt trying to get in your pants!!! hahaaaaaaaaaa

[yogastrong]

its called leveling, its something that insecure people do to make themselves feel like they are at the same level as they perceive the other person to be at. Dont sweat it, you're gorgeous and thats all that matters!

[tse]

Originally Posted by MsFitness

We are pretty much all nice on here, BUT what is with women in general? At my last show I got shot so many dirty looks from BB's girlfriends and wives that I wanted to smack someone. The girls in my figure show were all great, but actually there were a couple that didn't use the dressing room and kept themselves seperate from us that did shoot dirty looks. I am mainly talking about the women you walk by and you hear them say, "yeah, I saw her".......blah,blah,blah. Even at my job I hear them talking about other women all the time. They never have much of anything nice to say. Instead of saying about a pretty woman "damn, she is gorgeous" they will say, "she looks like a bitch" or something similar. I imagine it's easier for some women to be this way, but I have tried really hard to not do this. I have made it a point to compliment women because frankly it's much better to get a compliment from a woman than a man. I'm totally straight, love my man, but damn.if you have a nice butt or awesome hammies.........I am going to tell you as much. And how good does it feel to get a compliment from someone who isnt trying to get in your pants!!! hahaaaaaaaaaa

That sounds horrible at shows! I was thinking of competing and always had a feeling there'd a lot of tension between some competitors, but that sounds like what happens in the playground at school/ college. I've not really had this problem before maybe because I'm quite young, but I'd agree with Yogastrong that it's something to do with their insecurities - ie. THEIR problem. It would be nice to get compliments from girls once in a while because I agree they're better than compliments from guys but I guess thats what friends are for?

Originally Posted by yogastrong

its called leveling, its something that insecure people do to make themselves feel like they are at the same level as they perceive the other person to be at. Dont sweat it, you're gorgeous and thats all that matters!

[Beklet]

I dunno, I think that a lot of it's down to insecurity and bitchiness. Any grief I've ever had from women is because they're jealous, or somehow think I'm a 'threat' to them, it's bloody annoying!!!

I'm not a big fan of women in general because I can't be bothered with the drama - it's no surprise that the women I do have as close friends are very similar to me and are very tomboyish at times

[OnTheRoad]

It's not about you but about how these girls are feeling about themselves.

Anyone that loves themselves and feels good does NOT feel the need to make themselves feel better by putting others down.

Remember it's not about you!

[Lemming]

The most unfriendly person at the little gym I train at is...a WOMAN and a Personal Trainer!! I just cannot believe it. She stands 6 inches in front of the dumbbell rack working with her client and then acts like you are so RUDE to ask to get a DB out between sets. She is very skinny, blond, has fake breasts (and is the worst PT as well, but that's a different story...), and I get the impression that she is used to getting things her way, right away. So I suggest that women who are prettier than average or workout more than average or whatever more than average CAN be the worst, because they are used to being the center of attention. So if someone comes along who is also skilled or pretty or whatever, that is a threat to them. So for you guys who are doing shows and are at the top of your game, you are in for a rough ride from some of these people!!

[TragicBeauty]

I only shoot dirty looks at girls who hit on my boyfriend. I'm bitchy that way.

but if I see a gorgeous girl and she's nice I don't mind her and might actually like her.

Generally I don't have many female friends because of the drama, but for the most part don't' feel threatened by hot ma'mas

I agree with most girls here who say that the reason that most women are so hateful is because of their own insecurities. Plus I think is socially conditioned... Women (especially attractive women) are kind of subliminally taught that a lot of their value comes from their appearance and if there is a woman around who is as(or more) attractive other ladies automatically feel their personal value is threatened.

[TragicBeauty]

I guess that especially goes for competitions. because you are being judged ON THE WAY YOU LOOK! so if a girl sees someone who looks better than her she's like RAWR GET OUT OF HERE!

[Gloryhound]

I saw an add for a TV show where they are going to stick 6 girls on a stage and then they (the six girls) have to decide who is the best looking! To me it is a disgrace that the media is actually promoting this kind of behavior in a prime time show! If my daughter ever watched that (which she will not) what type of message is it going to send to her? Kind of weird that we live in a society that is pushing political correctness down our throat while at the same time our media is pushing the other way.

[1972girl]

On the flip side, People often think I look mean and more so when im in the gym lifting.Sometimes when a women comes in that looks like she works hard in the gym I will look but try not to stare.I know that I look like im being a bitch but im admiring and often thinking things like "I wish I had delts like that". I will break the ice sometimes and say hi or give a compliment, when I do this they find im not like that and am very friendly. Im not saying I think your wrong im sure that most of them are not so nice but I wish people did not think that about me.

[Outdoor Girl]

Never heard it called "leveling" but that's a great word and that's what it sounds like to me. I would guess it's insecurity on the part of others, not only that you are in great shape but also that you are involved in the same passion for training that their significant others are and they cannot relate the same way.

I spent time with a friend and his wife, he and I are really passionate about a particular hobby. Although I have been friends with him longer than he's been with her (and have never been involved with him in any way besides friendship) she saw the connection due to the mutual passion and firmly believes I have a "thing" for him and he can no longer spend time with me. He is a great friend and I can understand that the marriage comes first but it just plain sucks.

[gfundaro]

Very true. Actually my old 'best' friend used to do that to me ALL the time. "I think my boobs are bigger than yours...I think my butt is higher than yours...etc." Nevermind that she was my height and 40 lbs heavier. I don't have many female friends either because my major is male-dominated and I don't really have hobbies besides reading, lifting, and rock climbing. I don't party or drink, don't really stay up on the latest fashions because I love my comfies too much hehe I'm not mean towards girls and I'll talk to them in the gym if they talk to me, but mostly I just get stared down...can't really tell if they're 'dirty' looks though, I mean I've never been scowled at lol

But if a chick hits on my bf I definitely give them a look.... :-[

[JJanet]

Woman can be pretty mean. LOL. But if I am to be completely honest, I've probably had a few moments in the past when I've been a bit bitchy myself. I think for me, it was because I was pretty insecure with myself. I like to think I've come a long way from there, though.

[norinicole]

I think it's definitely an insecurity. I would like to think that every woman who is competing in a figure/fitness competition would know that every woman up there has worked their hardest to get where they are. Why not compliment each other? And make each other feel good under such stressful conditions? But that's me, and I have been known to compliment other women.

I know that it takes hard work to build a great figure, and if I see a woman with great legs/arms/abs I'm going to say something. In no way am I hitting on them, I'm just letting them know that their hard work is getting noticed.

What it comes down to is the junior high mentality and a 'clique' philosophy. You against them sort of thing. It's funny how a lot of women get intimidated by our confidence and obvious strength. Little do they know that if they were to come up to us, say hi, and start a nice conversation, we'd me more that willing to be friendly.

[Gloryhound]

Originally Posted by gfundaro

But if a chick hits on my bf I definitely give them a look.... :-[

My wife laughs and asks them how long they think they would last living with a stuburn old mut that isn't even house broken! For some reason it works.

[HappySnowBunny]

Originally Posted by TragicBeauty

I agree with most girls here who say that the reason that most women are so hateful is because of their own insecurities. Plus I think is socially conditioned... Women (especially attractive women) are kind of subliminally taught that a lot of their value comes from their appearance and if there is a woman around who is as(or more) attractive other ladies automatically feel their personal value is threatened.

Thank you for this perspective!! I live among women who are exactly of this kind and it's maddening! (not that i'm any threat...i'm definitely not attractive...lol).

I really am glad I clicked on this thread. The self esteem comments and the coping ideas have been a bit of an eye opener after a devastating week.

sorry for the threadjack...this all just floored me. It's one of those 'right message at the exact right time' things.

wow.

[gfundaro]

Originally Posted by Gloryhound

My wife laughs and asks them how long they think they would last living with a stuburn old mut that isn't even house broken! For some reason it works.

LOL

My bf doesn't even notice or care, he just thinks it's funny that I get uppity because he doesn't realize how handsome he is! So I always have to nonchalantly walk up and give him a big hug and introduce myself to the girl so she doesn't get any ideas

[freebirdmac]

I never worried about other women hitting on my boyfriend or husband. All that mattered was whether or not the boyfriend or husband stayed true to me. Having women flirt with them was flattering, as it is when men flirt with me. I simply told the guys if you think you can do better, go for it. Just tell me first so I know I can move on too. Never lost one to another woman

I do wonder is some of the problem at contests comes from the diets these woman have been on. I could see where I'd act out of character, or with less self-control after putting my body through that ordeal.

[Vegreenmom]

Originally Posted by OnTheRoad

Anyone that loves themselves and feels good does NOT feel the need to make themselves feel better by putting others down.

QFT (quoted for truth)

[trainwithrae]

you have to just laugh if it's directed at you, how sad! I always say "kill em with kindness" . Sounds like that's what you do. I always go into a show with the intent of helping newbies out, they aren't jaded and bitchy and you always make a new friend out of it. I block out the negative peeps.

[dvsness]

Originally Posted by TragicBeauty

I guess that especially goes for competitions. because you are being judged ON THE WAY YOU LOOK! so if a girl sees someone who looks better than her she's like RAWR GET OUT OF HERE!

Actually, all of the women I've met who are competitors are extremely kind and supportive. There is a lot of camaraderie backstage and I have made friends that I keep in touch with. The only times I feel uneasy from dealing with women it is from non-competitors.

[gfundaro]

Originally Posted by dvsness

Actually, all of the women I've met who are competitors are extremely kind and supportive. There is a lot of camaraderie backstage and I have made friends that I keep in touch with. The only times I feel uneasy from dealing with women it is from non-competitors.

Did you find it was the same at all levels of competition? I am hoping to compete in Oct. in a small amateur show and it seems like 'ladies' my age can be pretty brutal hehe

[Dangerousd37]

Its also a way to psych someone out when doing shows I read somewhere Arnorld said many people do that when competing not to really put down others but to psych themselves up, while others do it to throw their competition off. Women in general can be bitchy.. often times its insecutity and it makes them feel better by putting someone else down.. while others just go along with the crowd of putting someone down... its not worth getting upset about just keep your focus and keep up the good work!!! :O)

[MsFitFern]

The women in the dressing room with me were very friendly and chatty, but there were perhaps 3 women who stayed in the "pump room", they were the ones with the dirty looks. Don't worry! no one is going to bother in that way! I try to take it as a compliment I suppose.
Twice now, women in my gym have made it a point to kiss their boyfriends right in front of me..........like I was on the hunt for him or something..haha
I was thinking,"damn woman, if you knew what my man looked like, you'd know I wasn't scoping out your little man"
As for women hitting on my man, hmmmm, if I knew she knew about me...I'm sure bitchy would take over, BUT women checking out my man would be a compliment!!

[xxx_KILLER_x]

Many women are insecure and jealous. I get that all the time, but I don't let it bother me. And, I'm not going to sink to their level and do the same. I have no problem saying a women is hot. I'm secure with myself and can see the beauty in other women even though I'm not sexually attracted to women at all. I think a lot of girls also make those comment to friends to bring them closer by gossiping. Which is weird if you ask me...if a girl will bash other girls in front of me who knows what they say about me when I'm not around, but whatever lol.

[b3always]

hiya... im new on this site so still getting used to this..iv prepped alot of our s.a. fittness girls and been in the industry for a good 12 years..in that time iv found the men to be as bad as the woman,granted the names you girls come up with tops the charts though..ha ha ha. but hey the world is so full of bull anyway its such a pity our game is so misunderstood genrally by those want but dont have and are to scared to try,my game plan is for every negative look or comment i get from anyone i give back a smile or complement...being a guy who works with so many woman i got to see both sides...anyway its a shame all the same..keep rocking ladys! take care. ant

[misstransformer]

Originally Posted by xxx_KILLER_x

Many women are insecure and jealous. I get that all the time, but I don't let it bother me. And, I'm not going to sink to their level and do the same. I have no problem saying a women is hot. I'm secure with myself and can see the beauty in other women even though I'm not sexually attracted to women at all. I think a lot of girls also make those comment to friends to bring them closer by gossiping. Which is weird if you ask me...if a girl will bash other girls in front of me who knows what they say about me when I'm not around, but whatever lol.

Some women are disliked because they have an unpleasant dispostion, but when women experience this rejection, and they've done nothing at all....it has to do with insecurities in the other women. The more competitive the environment, the more you'll find these women in cliques. They NEED and FEED off of each other, because few of them can stand alone.

After awhile it becomes annoying, so just consider the behavior as a compliment turned inside out, keep those women at a distance, and focus on those who are positive. Jelousy is a very ugly emotion. T

[IronIc]

Originally Posted by misstransformer

Some women are disliked because they have an unpleasant dispostion, but when women experience this rejection, and they've done nothing at all....it has to do with insecurities in the other women. The more competitive the environment, the more you'll find these women in cliques. They NEED and FEED off of each other, because few of them can stand alone.

After awhile it becomes annoying, so just consider the behavior as a compliment turned inside out, keep those women at a distance, and focus on those who are positive. Jelousy is a very ugly emotion. T

^^^ X100

If you are an affable person (like me) it is hard to take the cold shoulder from others. Women especially get very nasty when feeling threatened; or in the presence of someone they don't understand.

I agree with T that those women are best left alone There's too many positve people to hang out with, and get support from

[xxx_KILLER_x]

Originally Posted by IronIc

^^^ X100

If you are an affable person (like me) it is hard to take the cold shoulder from others. Women especially get very nasty when feeling threatened; or in the presence of someone they don't understand.

I agree with T that those women are best left alone There's too many positve people to hang out with, and get support from

I'm so used to it now that it doesn't bother me. I've made it make me feel better if anything (lol definitely helps). And I agree those people are best left alone. I completely avoid it don't need people like that in my life, there definitely are a lot of positive people to hang out with instead like you said .

[Dedicatedforlife]

Women are crazy