What are some of the greatest quotes ever made?

[Negrodamus]

"Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought. What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know."

[AceRimRat]

Originally Posted by lord infamous

Damn Patton was an ALPHA mutha****er

damn imagine him with our military now? we could invade Russia and win

[U295]

I stole this from someone in here
He who hesitate, masterbait

LMFAO

[lord infamous]

Originally Posted by Ghostthor

I stole this from someone in here
He who hesitate, masterbait

LMFAO

x100 I've read that here too LMFAO

[Leenad]

"Character is what you do when nobody is looking"
Great quote by my head football coach.

[Dickson]

He didn't make that quote man

[guest]

Rousseau quotes:

"Free people remember this maxim: We may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost"

"Falsehood has an infinity of combinations, but truth has only one mode of being"

"I hate books; they only teach us to talk about things we know nothing about"

[c0ncept-2]

"I just want to conquer people and their souls" - Mike Tyson

[Diana Meeque]

Originally Posted by El Gilbro

"Is it just me or does wet pubic hair scare anybody else?" - dynamik

LOL. damnit.

[Krunk Fu]

When in Rome

[Z06]

Fogell: Yo guys! Sup?
Seth: Fogell, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you pussy out or what?
Fogell: No noooo, man. I got it; it is flawless. Check it!
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait... you changed your name to... McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin...
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the **** would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a ****ing book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb ****ing name!
Fogell: **** you.
Seth: Gimme that. All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called ****ing strategy, all right?
Evan: Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's... it's a fine ID; it'll... it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?
Fogell: [grinning] ... I am McLovin!
Seth: No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb ****ING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU ****!

Also...

"I'm over here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that. That looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life, and it's B.S. - excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry; I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know home-ec is a joke - no offense - it's just that everyone takes this class to get an A, and it's bull**** - and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here, all by myself, cooking this ****ty food - no offense - and I just think that I don't need to cook tiramisu. Am I going to be a chef? No. There's three weeks left of school, give me a ****in' break! I'm sorry for cursing."

[microsize]

"lol wut"

[puppet_master]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

[TheBigEasy007]

All I want is freedom, all I want is for people to cherish freedom and not force their views on others.
Many in the priviliged world do not understand freedom, cause they haven't had to fight for it. And their children are simply ignorant of the value of freedom.

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded
state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is
much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight,
nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable
creature, and has no chance of being free unless made or kept so by the
exertions of better men than himself."

Cant remember the people who said it.

[ko5567]

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. - Mitch Hedberg

One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?
- US Open TV Commentator

[IronNick]

" WHOOO AHHHHH" -pacino.

[TheBigEasy007]

Originally Posted by ko5567

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. - Mitch Hedberg

I hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy. All day. Like, if you wear a turtleneck and a backpack, it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

RIP Mitch

[Notnowchief]

"One good schoolmaster is of more use than a hundred priests"

"Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity"

"That government is best which governs least."

"Age after age has passed away, for no other purpose than to behold their wretchedness."

- Thomas Paine

"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine. "

-Bruce Lee

"Mr. Madison, what you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul." - Billy Madison

[iamtheawesome]

I'll be damned if Mitch Hedberg was not one of the funniest mofuggas to ever walk on God's green earth.

RIP Mitch indeed.

[Dickson]

Originally Posted by ko5567

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. - Vince Lombardi

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. - Mitch Hedberg

One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?
- US Open TV Commentator

LOL Poor Commentator

[betterNbetter]

Be the change you want to see in the world.

[NextBestThing]

Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their ****ing arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment, bollocks! What they want is filth! People doing things to each other with chainsaws during Tupperware parties. Babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates. Vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats… Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music. Goodnight.

[MAGnitude]

"dont mess with my homies pig"

some latino drug dealer being arrested on the show Cops

[Tainted Glory]

"I'm gonna **** you till you love me ***got"
-Mike Tyson

[EyeCyoo]

"WANNA BREED!" Lug (said to Helga) from the movie Willow.

[thecooleric]

Originally Posted by hellabutt

How you gonna choke a legend? You don't think i wanna choke people? You cant choke all your problems, it takes hard work. If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all fukking day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time.

Repped

Originally Posted by NextBestThing

Well, that's the end of the film. Now, here's the meaning of life. Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations. And, finally, here are some completely gratuitous pictures of penises to annoy the censors and to hopefully spark some sort of controversy, which, it seems, the only way, these days, to get the jaded, video-sated public off their ****ing arses and back in the sodding cinema. Family entertainment, bollocks! What they want is filth! People doing things to each other with chainsaws during Tupperware parties. Babysitters being stabbed with knitting needles by gay presidential candidates. Vigilante groups strangling chickens, armed bands of theatre critics exterminating mutant goats? Where's the fun in pictures? Oh, well, there we are. Here's the theme music. Goodnight.

What is that from? Monty Python or something of the sort?

[IWANTASSMUSCLE]

"good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is better, and your better is best."

[BMN]

"Faster, faster, faster, untill the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death"

[IronNick]

"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I
coulda been a contender. I could've been
somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am."

[RavenStorm]

"I'm 18, do I have potential?"

-badboy2