Dating while Training - the second attempt

[TheSheepdog]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

Good for you!! I've recently discovered that the best relationships to have during the first year of new goals is a long-distance relationship. LOL!!

who are you with long distant that i dont know about, missy?

[thenewchamp]

Originally Posted by armymuscle01

who are you with long distant that i dont know about, missy?

You were right, I've made friends on this site....that's all I'm telling you. LOL

[TurbulentFluid]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

******When I first became a BB.com member I posted this in the misc thread thinking that we could all be mature enough to respond like adults. I got a couple decent responses but mostly - I got a bunch of PM's and comments of guys trying to convince me that my coach was only trying to hit on me and not all that concerned with my well-being.

But after reading the Thread from GoddessAmazon I thought I would repost in the proper Thread and see what kind of response I get (hopefully a lot more mature).*****
---
When I first started training my coach told me that relationships will suffer and that my dedication could cause me to lose friends. Then he grinned and stated...if your man sticks with you through this, he is a keeper.

Hmm, I'm single but suddenly, men are coming out of the woodwork...I'm really not in the mood to date...I don't have the patience or the desire to explain the reason why I won't go out to eat or why I'm at the gym again, and no...I can't skip a workout. When I meet someone with potential, the first thing that I mention is my new goal and that I'm not going to let anyone be a distraction. They say that they understand but I doubt that they do...Is it possible to date while in training? I think it would be different if you are already in a relationship and know the person well. But, this is not the time to start something new.

I don't see the difference between a fella asking you to skip gym training and asking you to skip a class, a day at work, a visit to friends/family, or anything else. If a guy has no respect for who you are and what you do, he's NOT someone you wanna date. And YES it works the other way around. My current bf is a guitar player with a different day job, which means 8 hours at work plus 2-3 hours rehersal or 2-3 hours home practice PLUS classes at the academy. Would it be natural that, once we break up, he never has a gf again because they'll ask him to skip a rehersal? NO, he just has to find one who's not a self-centered b*ch. Same for me: I'll have to, once again, find a guy who will be able to realize and accept that I have a life aside of him and that my day job, my hobbies, my dog, my parents and my friends are ALSO important.

[thenewchamp]

Originally Posted by TurbulentFluid

I don't see the difference between a fella asking you to skip gym training and asking you to skip a class, a day at work, a visit to friends/family, or anything else. If a guy has no respect for who you are and what you do, he's NOT someone you wanna date. And YES it works the other way around. My current bf is a guitar player with a different day job, which means 8 hours at work plus 2-3 hours rehersal or 2-3 hours home practice PLUS classes at the academy. Would it be natural that, once we break up, he never has a gf again because they'll ask him to skip a rehersal? NO, he just has to find one who's not a self-centered b*ch. Same for me: I'll have to, once again, find a guy who will be able to realize and accept that I have a life aside of him and that my day job, my hobbies, my dog, my parents and my friends are ALSO important.

PREACH IT!!!!!!!! LOL!

[Erin Carson]

My first boyfriend was extremely jealous of the time i needed to spend in the gym to train and was not supportive. I met my current boyfriend at the gym. He is extremely supportive - motivates me to go the the gym when i don't feel like it, buys diet food and cooks for me when i'm tired, critiques my posing practice, and takes time off work to drive me to all my competitions. It's definitely nearly impossible to have a relationship with someone who does not understand (and more importantly encourage) your goals.

[thenewchamp]

Originally Posted by Erin Carson

My first boyfriend was extremely jealous of the time i needed to spend in the gym to train and was not supportive. I met my current boyfriend at the gym. He is extremely supportive - motivates me to go the the gym when i don't feel like it, buys diet food and cooks for me when i'm tired, critiques my posing practice, and takes time off work to drive me to all my competitions. It's definitely nearly impossible to have a relationship with someone who does not understand (and more importantly encourage) your goals.

Wow, I love that!!! Don't let him go!!

[kboxer]

Definitely important that u share the same goals and views about your lifestyle. To understand when u r beat from the diet and training and need personal time etc. Only one who does it will understand

[MauiZos]

I met my boyfriend when I was about 6 weeks out from my first show. I knew I would never meet anyone that would suit my lifestyle in the typical situations (bars, parties) given I don't drink, hate eating out, and spend most days in the gym. Instead, we met on lavalife of all things! Both of us are super into health and fitness and we knew we shared that as a priority before we even met. Now draw on each other for inspiration and motivation.

We moved in together about 6 months ago and have crafted our lives around healthy activities. We meet in the gym every day after work, our weekend getaways are to the mountains to go snowboarding, our vacation this year will be a week long surf camp. Sundays are dedicated to shopping and cooking everything from scratch. Lately we got certified as personal trainers together (so we can kick each other's butts!) and we'll be taking night classes in nutrition starting in the new year.

It's not that you can't date while training, it's just that you can't date normal guys! haha.. The beer swilling, chicken wing eating, video game playing, couch sitting "guys guy" probably won't be able to put up with your lifestyle!

[thenewchamp]

Originally Posted by MauiZos

I met my boyfriend when I was about 6 weeks out from my first show. I knew I would never meet anyone that would suit my lifestyle in the typical situations (bars, parties) given I don't drink, hate eating out, and spend most days in the gym. Instead, we met on lavalife of all things! Both of us are super into health and fitness and we knew we shared that as a priority before we even met. Now draw on each other for inspiration and motivation.

We moved in together about 6 months ago and have crafted our lives around healthy activities. We meet in the gym every day after work, our weekend getaways are to the mountains to go snowboarding, our vacation this year will be a week long surf camp. Sundays are dedicated to shopping and cooking everything from scratch. Lately we got certified as personal trainers together (so we can kick each other's butts!) and we'll be taking night classes in nutrition starting in the new year.

It's not that you can't date while training, it's just that you can't date normal guys! haha.. The beer swilling, chicken wing eating, video game playing, couch sitting "guys guy" probably won't be able to put up with your lifestyle!

I love your post! And I hear what you are saying...My problem is that I'm surrounded by normal guys and the ones who are like me are just gym friends since they are already taken...or long distance.

Like you, I don't like going out...my weekends are pretty much dedicated to prepping for the next week (shopping and cooking). Recently an old friend has entered the picture and it is just refreshing since he is a competitor and is also a personal trainer so we have so much to talk about. When we get together we can train, prep, and really challenge each other...he is going for his pro card next year and its fun for us to talk about the diets and I can actually give this seasoned comp'er advice on certain things...lovin it!!

[worldofwiz]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

******When I first became a BB.com member I posted this in the misc thread thinking that we could all be mature enough to respond like adults. I got a couple decent responses but mostly - I got a bunch of PM's and comments of guys trying to convince me that my coach was only trying to hit on me and not all that concerned with my well-being.

But after reading the Thread from GoddessAmazon I thought I would repost in the proper Thread and see what kind of response I get (hopefully a lot more mature).*****
---
When I first started training my coach told me that relationships will suffer and that my dedication could cause me to lose friends. Then he grinned and stated...if your man sticks with you through this, he is a keeper.

Hmm, I'm single but suddenly, men are coming out of the woodwork...I'm really not in the mood to date...I don't have the patience or the desire to explain the reason why I won't go out to eat or why I'm at the gym again, and no...I can't skip a workout. When I meet someone with potential, the first thing that I mention is my new goal and that I'm not going to let anyone be a distraction. They say that they understand but I doubt that they do...Is it possible to date while in training? I think it would be different if you are already in a relationship and know the person well. But, this is not the time to start something new.

Part of it is your new confidence. That is always a turn on to men and woman. And it looks like your workouts are paying off. Those two thing are making you more attractive.

Guys deal with this all of the time. It starts with us in High School. We just tell them if they can deal with it they know were they can go. People who work hard and are successful at their jobs have the same issue.

Tell them the deal and if they can't handle it break it off. Trust me, there are guys out there who love a woman who does her own thing. You just have to learn to filter.

[thenewchamp]

Originally Posted by worldofwiz

Part of it is your new confidence. That is always a turn on to men and woman. And it looks like your workouts are paying off. Those two thing are making you more attractive.

Guys deal with this all of the time. It starts with us in High School. We just tell them if they can deal with it they know were they can go. People who work hard and are successful at their jobs have the same issue.

Tell them the deal and if they can't handle it break it off. Trust me, there are guys out there who love a woman who does her own thing. You just have to learn to filter.

Thank you!

[TheSheepdog]

you seem to have definitely got a new confidence by looking at your pictures

[javyn]

This is a tough question. Honestly, if I was the man in this situation, I'd walk away assuming that you just weren't into me or serious about dating in the first place. So many women (and men for that matter I'm sure) are time wasters, and I'd take "no I can't go out because I don't want to miss a workout" as "I'm not really into or serious about a relationship." To the average person that sounds about as lame as "I have to stay home and wash my hair", and probably be taken as rejection.

Switch the tables around, would you be willing to date a guy who was so into a hobby or lifestyle that you would immediately see that person would be neglectful to you if you got serious?

Oh, I am saying this assuming the men you would be dating aren't necessarily bodybuilders. If they were, then I'm sure they'd be more understanding. But the average man isn't going to take neglect, just as the average woman wouldn't.

Of course, already seeing someone is completely different, and of course I'd be supportive as I can be. But if I were you, I'd hold off on dating until you have the time for it. Unless of course you are just talking booty calls here, which I don't think you are.

JMHO, take it for what it's worth and best of luck.


edit: Jeeze! Talk about resurrecting a dead thread, I didn't realize until now the OP was back in '07, doh!

[bull.dogz]

Damn, how come I'm always late for everything.

[J Wes]

You trainer/coach was right. When you are in this type of lifestyle and are a competitive figure or bodybuilder, you relationships will suffer due to the time needed for training, nutrition and sleep. Your focus will be centered around training and most spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend cannot handle that you are splitting your time between the gym and your spouse.

It is a hard question to answer, but in the end, anyone who can last through that is a keeper. I have dated a few women who couldn't handle the fact that i needed to workout and was dieting. Some egos will get hurt, but when i do find one, i will keep them. I hope you have that same luck.

Take care

[precisou2004]

Originally Posted by thenewchamp

Good for you!! I've recently discovered that the best relationships to have during the first year of new goals is a long-distance relationship. LOL!!

been there done that too many times.... they SUCK !!!!

[Brahette]

I've actually been wondering about this recently as well.

I started dating this new guy about a month ago. We were wining and dining it the entire time, so as you can imagine, I was not sticking to a routine at all. Main reason we did all this is because he had to go to the mainland for a class for 2.5 months. So, he won't be back until mid-November.

He left, I kickstarted with SB diet, and now I'm hittin this stuff hard as of yesterday. He used to be into fitness, but had "let himself go" if you know what I mean. He's started hitting the gym on the mainland, but isn't sticking to a strict routine like I am. He actually is overweight and I really don't mind... like him just the way he is... as long as he's happy, but if he wants to get healthier and such, I'm definitely behind him 100%.

So I'm wondering what's going to happen when he comes back in November. I don't want to lose my mojo with this routine. I'll be done with the gym every night around 7, and all I have to worry about after that is my PWO smoothie and my last meal of the night... which I can do at home, his place, or out even.

Him being gone gives me the extra time and focus to work on my routine. I'm really hoping I can stick to it when he gets back.

[BostonBoy22]

The girlie I'm seeing now isn't a huge gym person, she goes almost everyday with me and will do cardio. She use to do weights with me, it was more to get my attention and such. Long story in a previous thread. But now she stop the weights and I signed her up for some kick boxing classes and yoga, which she enjoys. I took a few of the classes with her to help catch her interest and make it easier for her, bring new to the classes. But I don't think it would be hard to stay in the relationship if she wasn't a gym person. Tho it makes it fun, because she understand why I eat every 2 hours, and the way I eat, and when I sore she understands, kick boxing was one hell of a work out, surprised she can move after that class. But if she started giving me **** about my diet, and going to the gym everyday for 2 hours. Then that could def. effect the relationship and most likely end the relationship. So I would have to say date someone with similar interest, or understands and supports you.

[kimm4]

We all know this can be a very selfish sport. If the person your with is not supportive of the lifestyle, then they need to go...

[cactusflower]

Originally Posted by kimm4

We all know this can be a very selfish sport. If the person your with is not supportive of the lifestyle, then they need to go...

x2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jsmircich]

X 3 and this thread is old .

[aramis_is]

I was in a relationship for 8 months with someone who was recovering from glandular fever - tired easily, underweight and so couldn't do exercise all that much. Eventually I got him into going to the gym as and when getting better (tis a long recovery process) which was nice as we could see each other. He was however far too clingy, not hugely interested so did disrupt my training somewhat.

I then (and partly because of traiing together) saw another guy and he helped me train loads. Had a black belt in martial arts so made some wicked workouts for me. That didn't help him obviously as my strength was nothing on his.

So overall, I think having a partner who also understands your training needs/goals is the most important thing which is often when they train themselves. It is possible to wield influence on them if they eat junk and don't work out.

[AFMuslimGal]

I feel you. I have a hard time finding someone who has the same passion for fitness and health as I do who also doesnt work my nerves. And for someone like you who is so dedicated, you shouldnt allow someone to distract you. Rather, you deserve someone who will motivate you and truly understand and hell even be there with you or as much as you. One day, someone will understand.

[Komadori]

Originally Posted by misstransformer

Over the weekend, something happened that really rubbed me the wrong way(did I say really), and during the time I exercised, I used that experience to push harder with weights. Towards the end of my workout, I didn't think about it at all. So maybe I got a glimpse of that. I also slept better after training, which replaced time I may have laid there thinking about things beyond my control anyway. Thank goodness for prayer, and training. lol

There is definitely a zen to working out. I love it. I can destress with the gym, no matter what. And I always feel so accomplished. I've missed workout all this past week, due to a convention at my old college this past weekend, and then I got sick.

And now it's Turkey day weekend, and the gym will be closed. So I am going to have to make due with my workout videos. Fun, yes! But not quite the same groove.