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In addition to continuing work on liver toxicity and my soon-to-be-published "The Interaction of Surf Conditions, Undertow, and Swimwear Design and the Prediction of Bikini Bottom Extraction" I have...

5'8" 200+ lbs and not remotely fat you have to look like you lift. And you do.

I gots 99 problems.

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Lack of a sippy-cup to maintain my buzz in the pool is no longer one of them.

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The Kim Jung Illin'. Takillya, sweet and sour mixer, lime, Crystal Light, and a sugar-free popsickle. The best thing about this drink is that it only cost me...

I am at the SW part of the island, kinda between Kehei and Makena. It's been pretty hot with no real rain (maybe 1-2 rogue rain-clouds with a 5-minute warm sprinkle). Mid- to upper- 80s for highs,...

1. CSB declared Haole of the Year and nominated as a Hawaiian State Treasure.
2. CSB lost snorkeling gear of indeterminate value in record surf.
3. Same record surf yielded many swimsuit...

All sorts of high quality youtube female fitness channels.

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Five nights in and even with copious quantities of sun, swimming, and alcohol I still can't sleep past 3 am.

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I have a new drink, the HMS Woodrow. It is coconut infused vodka, lime, and some flavor of pink Crystal Light. If you think it sounds gross, you'd possibly be...

Way too much sand in people's man-gynas here.

Not even serp in serp-mode can rustle these jimmies.


CSB is starring in a new major motion picture entitled "The Unrustleable". Look for it at...

Next up:
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It was dead but not a toy. Not walking barefoot at night.



My "poverty dinner" last night was coconut-encrusted Ono. Goddamn it was good.



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Where I come from we don't have Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom-sized centipedes.

Hope you have a good time.

Actually, I am sure you will have a good time if you can procure some coconut-infused vodka and diet cola.

Day 3: Snorkeling with sea turtles on northern tip of island by 8:10 am. Pretty sweet except for the sunburn.

Met a couple last night @ pool. Said they were returning to Vancouver, Canada...

Who am I to deprive old ladies the opportunity to see the berfect benus?

Nah, everybody's favorite half-black, half-Italian person has a few more years left in her term and I think slurp is vice-president.

You the chairman of the regional chapter of Jockwatcher's Anonymous?

You'd have to be a brave man to swim with some of these fishes with ur hoohoodilly exposed.

Which reminds me,

If you swim through the grass,
And an eel bites ur ass,
That's a Moray.

You mean the whole "running trains” thing is just Canadian folklore?

Beach number one wasn't stocked with hotties. Well, they may have been hotties about the time of the Korean war.



I got...