Thanks for the post op, just go rid of the ******** stuff.
Seeing her pic everywhere makes me fell like ****.
Printable View
Thanks for the post op, just go rid of the ******** stuff.
Seeing her pic everywhere makes me fell like ****.
Great read. Number 15 really makes it clear what happens to relationships, and to prepare for it. No reason to ever be surprised. reps.
[QUOTE=_Roidz_;763663523]No problem man, how long were you 2 together?[/QUOTE]
3 months or so, so not that long I'll get over it though. I'm waiting to see if she is just mad or done giving it 3 days and if not probably break up and delete her atleast until I'm over her.
[QUOTE=GerbilFarmer;763713013]3 months or so, so not that long I'll get over it though. I'm waiting to see if she is just mad or done giving it 3 days and if not probably break up and delete her atleast until I'm over her.[/QUOTE]
She would have known what you were like before you two started dating. I sincerely doubt you changed dramatically in the space of 3 months, so I think this is just a cop out reason.
Awesome thread man. I wish I would of read this when I was breaking up with my gf a couple months back.
We ended up getting back together after two months of being separated/not seeing each other. I don't exactly know if it was the best idea. I love the girl to death, but I do feel like I deserve more than she gives me. But, at the same time our previous relationship was not healthy (controlling, jealousy, restrictive, mostly all by me), and I realize that, and I am working on changing that. It was my first relationship so I didn't know what was right and what was wrong. Now I'm trying to be uncontrollable, not jealous, and not restrictive. I'm doing a good job, and I don't know wtf my problem was before. I think it was insecurities, which I worked on a lot when we broke up (helped that I got ripped as well).
I know that if it doesn't work this time around, then it was not meant to me, and I will probably go through all of the pain again, but this time I know I will be okay regardless of our relationship status.
Thanks for the great info OP.
ugh...need some advice.
Its almost been a month now and I have stopped contact with her but she still finds ways to contact me. Saying things like she wants us to be friends and that she can't lose me completely. I told her that I will not be friends with you as there is too much invested in us. She even asked if we could go out maybe once a month or even a "date". I was like....what is this????I don't even. I said I will not be in an open relationship with her. She keeps saying how much she loves e but right now isn't the right time. That she misses me and that she can't wait until we are back together. I made note of the fact that I cannot put a lot of faith and trust in what you're saying. You ultimately threw it all away to see if the grass was greener. If you cannot understand why I can't help to think this, then you are more than delusional. This is what you asked for. I wasn't going to wait around.
I cannot read her because I haven't seen her and it's always email, or phone, or what have you. I deleted her off ******** already too. I was doing so well with myself until she says 'I'm sorry, i didn't mean it to be like this, I just think we needed some time off to find ourselves". (We were fighting constantly for 2 months before breakup). She says she wants to get back together but as of right now she won't be able to be a proper gf who I can't depend on because she is too busy. But I know she goes out with her friends every weekend, so It makes me so angry.
Last night she drunk texted me and I was already annoyed with her calling me earlier. So I drove to her house and left all her things in front of her door. All I responded to the texts was. Goodbye.
She texts me this morning saying, I'm so sorry I hurt you I thought it would be better for us, I love you so much blahblah. It will happen.
It just pisses me off....I feel like I'm back to the first week after the break up again.
[QUOTE=Alar;763835603]ugh...need some advice.
Its almost been a month now and I have stopped contact with her but she still finds ways to contact me. Saying things like she wants us to be friends and that she can't lose me completely. I told her that I will not be friends with you as there is too much invested in us. She even asked if we could go out maybe once a month or even a "date". I was like....what is this????I don't even. I said I will not be in an open relationship with her. She keeps saying how much she loves e but right now isn't the right time. That she misses me and that she can't wait until we are back together. I made note of the fact that I cannot put a lot of faith and trust in what you're saying. You ultimately threw it all away to see if the grass was greener. If you cannot understand why I can't help to think this, then you are more than delusional. This is what you asked for. I wasn't going to wait around.
I cannot read her because I haven't seen her and it's always email, or phone, or what have you. I deleted her off ******** already too. I was doing so well with myself until she says 'I'm sorry, i didn't mean it to be like this, I just think we needed some time off to find ourselves". (We were fighting constantly for 2 months before breakup). She says she wants to get back together but as of right now she won't be able to be a proper gf who I can't depend on because she is too busy. But I know she goes out with her friends every weekend, so It makes me so angry.
Last night she drunk texted me and I was already annoyed with her calling me earlier. So I drove to her house and left all her things in front of her door. All I responded to the texts was. Goodbye.
She texts me this morning saying, I'm so sorry I hurt you I thought it would be better for us, I love you so much blahblah. It will happen.
It just pisses me off....I feel like I'm back to the first week after the break up again.[/QUOTE]
In many ways you are back to the start, you are dealing with the comeback much earlier then a lot of people, this is actually a good thing believe it or not. You know it is not going to work out, you don't need me to tell you that. She just fears what she lost, do not give in, you have said your piece so from now on if/when she contacts you there will be no reply. I know it is damn hard man, but you will get through it.
girlfriend broke up with me about a week ago. i have been doing no contact since and its been helping alot but she texted me 2 days ago saying how she cant stop thinking about me and how she knows that we are done and it has to be like that and that she is sorry and doesn't want me to hate her. im not mad at her at all, i actually respect the girl for breaking up with me because she felt as if it wasnt working and i was being an ******* to her.
i still really do like this girl alot and cant get my mind off of her because i always look to my phone (hoping) looking to see if she has texted me. I know she is gonna txt soon enough just asking how i've been. I think im also hung up on it because we really broke up for no reason, she said there was a lot of reasons but i just never asked and just stopped talking to her. It just sucks because im losing a really good friend and a great girlfriend.
I dont know if she is gonna try to get back with me but at the moment, i would. hopefully in the future after im fully over her, i wont feel the need to get back with her.
do you think its worth getting back with her, if we do work out all the problems we had before we broke up?
[QUOTE=nrgline;764557123]girlfriend broke up with me about a week ago. i have been doing no contact since and its been helping alot but she texted me 2 days ago saying how she cant stop thinking about me and how she knows that we are done and it has to be like that and that she is sorry and doesn't want me to hate her. im not mad at her at all, i actually respect the girl for breaking up with me because she felt as if it wasnt working and i was being an ******* to her.
i still really do like this girl alot and cant get my mind off of her because i always look to my phone (hoping) looking to see if she has texted me. I know she is gonna txt soon enough just asking how i've been. I think im also hung up on it because we really broke up for no reason, she said there was a lot of reasons but i just never asked and just stopped talking to her. It just sucks because im losing a really good friend and a great girlfriend.
I dont know if she is gonna try to get back with me but at the moment, i would. hopefully in the future after im fully over her, i wont feel the need to get back with her.
do you think its worth getting back with her, if we do work out all the problems we had before we broke up?[/QUOTE]
9/10 it does not work. You both will put on a temporary act, and things will be absolutely great for about a month, then when you guys fall into comfort again, the act disappears and you start having the exact same issues once again. This is what happens the majority of the time. Your wounds are still very fresh, you cannot expect to be over her by now, so her texting will make feelings flood back, its expected. Just ignore the texts, and in time you will forget about checking to see if she has contacted you. Then one day when you don't even think about, she will probably come back professing what a huge mistake she made as she realises that the grass is not always greener on the other side. This is the defining moment, this is when you man up, look her in the eye, and say you had your chance. That is how I have personally handled it in the past, and it allowed me to get over it in the shortest amount of time. But this depends on the duration of the relationship.
[QUOTE]
If you can't avoid it, you can't avoid it simple as that. What you can fix however is giving a damn what she thinks of the situation. Who cares if she thinks you are bitter or that you are trying to get her back. You are no longer acting in a way that effects her, you are acting for yourself and that is it. So do not go thinking what will she believe if I do this or that etc. as this is binding your actions to the outcome which she will provide. You are free from her, do not even waste your time with thoughts of her.[/QUOTE]
just got back from a trip I took with some good buddies, we went to the town where she's going to school. Ran into a lot of people from our town and thankfully avoided going to the same party she was at. Got absolutely f'd all nights and even had some Zyzz moments stopping busy traffic with push ups and witnessed a female friend go from walking normal to absolutely smashing her face on the ground like she tripped over an invisible rope.
While I was there she hardly crossed my mind and **** was great, but the second I get back to where i'm living **** starts ****ing with my mind. I'm hoping it's just the side effects of alcohol because it's feeling pretty ****ty right now but nothing like it was before. Re-reading all the advice on here has really been a saving grace, I agree with the other's, this should be made a sticky.
night bump for those who need it!
[QUOTE=TheGrapeCrusade;764829303]just got back from a trip I took with some good buddies, we went to the town where she's going to school. Ran into a lot of people from our town and thankfully avoided going to the same party she was at. Got absolutely f'd all nights and even had some Zyzz moments stopping busy traffic with push ups and witnessed a female friend go from walking normal to absolutely smashing her face on the ground like she tripped over an invisible rope.
While I was there she hardly crossed my mind and **** was great, but the second I get back to where i'm living **** starts ****ing with my mind. I'm hoping it's just the side effects of alcohol because it's feeling pretty ****ty right now but nothing like it was before. Re-reading all the advice on here has really been a saving grace, I agree with the other's, this should be made a sticky.
night bump for those who need it![/QUOTE]
Good to hear man, it is always worse when you have nothing to do. Hang in there.
Bump!
They thought they would find the grass greener and instead they're stepping in dog ****.
They threw it all away and disregarded everything. If they want to get back with you, what makes THEM worth it.
Find someone who will not just throw everything away, they will be the ones worth everything you have.
thanks for everything OP,
[QUOTE=Alar;766672423]They thought they would find the grass greener and instead they're stepping in dog ****.
They threw it all away and disregarded everything. If they want to get back with you, what makes THEM worth it.
Find someone who will not just throw everything away, they will be the ones worth everything you have.
thanks for everything OP,[/QUOTE]
Wise words and you are very welcome.
Having been through a few breakups the hardest and most important thing is to cut off contact. No matter how alpha very few people can hold it together if you cared about the girl while still trying to be "friends" post break-up. Got broken up with yesterday morning through a text, didn't respond, deleted number and all forms of contact, and blocked every form of contact on fb save deleting from friends (always felt like that seems overly bitter plus I like using ex-gf fb wall posts to make new girls jealous ;)). So much more peaceful than trying to negotiate things. Dunno what I'll do if/when she tries to contact me but this is probably the first breakup I've gone through where I just straight up deleted all forms of contact subconsciously and it's definitely easier.
[QUOTE=marcFE;766834473]Having been through a few breakups the hardest and most important thing is to cut off contact. No matter how alpha very few people can hold it together if you cared about the girl while still trying to be "friends" post break-up. Got broken up with yesterday morning through a text, didn't respond, deleted number and all forms of contact, and blocked every form of contact on fb save deleting from friends (always felt like that seems overly bitter plus I like using ex-gf fb wall posts to make new girls jealous ;)). So much more peaceful than trying to negotiate things. Dunno what I'll do if/when she tries to contact me but this is probably the first breakup I've gone through where I just straight up deleted all forms of contact subconsciously and it's definitely easier.[/QUOTE]
Yeah it took going through a breakup with the whole "lets be friends attitude" attitude before I realised how much it delays your moving on. My last breakup was a clean split, everything deleted and removed from sight. Your mind will always play its games, but it is a hell of a lot easier. People who choose the friends route are only kidding themselves, or EXTREMELY in control of their emotions.
I'll re-post what I posted in my thread: I just really need to get this off my chest and let it out
After being with a girl for 7 months, she out of nowhere up and ends things. She was wifey material. And I know there's no other guy. She just went through a lot of stuff (lost her uncle and grandma in a span of 2 weeks), and needed space. contact between us is now non-existant
I'm left here alone, feeling wounded, helpless, and heart broken. It's just that I had giver her everything, and so did she, but it's hard when someone turns so cold and heartless.
I feel like such a punk bitch now.
commence le bashing ='(
[QUOTE=iginca;766856353]I'll re-post what I posted in my thread: I just really need to get this off my chest and let it out
After being with a girl for 7 months, she out of nowhere up and ends things. She was wifey material. And I know there's no other guy. She just went through a lot of stuff (lost her uncle and grandma in a span of 2 weeks), and needed space. contact between us is now non-existant
I'm left here alone, feeling wounded, helpless, and heart broken. It's just that I had giver her everything, and so did she, but it's hard when someone turns so cold and heartless.
I feel like such a punk bitch now.
commence le bashing ='([/QUOTE]
First things first, no one is going to bash on you for this, as a relationship with an emotional connection is nothing to be taken lightly. The loss of a significant other is not too far behind having someone close to you die, and yes I am speaking from experience. You did make it a little unclear as to how she ended it? Did she actually say we are done? I am not too sure on this as it seems you guys just drifted?
2 months no contact, still not over it.
[QUOTE=etherHATESether;766872663]2 months no contact, still not over it.[/QUOTE]
How long was the relationship?
[QUOTE=_Roidz_;766870133]First things first, no one is going to bash on you for this, as a relationship with an emotional connection is nothing to be taken lightly. The loss of a significant other is not too far behind having someone close to you die, and yes I am speaking from experience. You did make it a little unclear as to how she ended it? Did she actually say we are done? I am not too sure on this as it seems you guys just drifted?[/QUOTE]
Sorry.
She said she needed to change herself and wasn't ready for a relationship. But she did say she wanted to be not just friends, but best friends and wanted me in her life. At first I was like eff no. But me being the beta male I am, I gave in. After that, she would respond back to my texts really late, or not at all. Or text me, I'd respond, then not even respond back. After about a week of that ish, I got tired and told her we're completely done and eff being friends because of the way she was acting. Ever since then, we haven't communicated. Blocked her on my FB and Twitter
[QUOTE=iginca;767021983]Sorry.
She said she needed to change herself and wasn't ready for a relationship. But she did say she wanted to be not just friends, but best friends and wanted me in her life. At first I was like eff no. But me being the beta male I am, I gave in. After that, she would respond back to my texts really late, or not at all. Or text me, I'd respond, then not even respond back. After about a week of that ish, I got tired and told her we're completely done and eff being friends because of the way she was acting. Ever since then, we haven't communicated. Blocked her on my FB and Twitter[/QUOTE]
Good move, now you have made the first and most important step in breaking free from this girl. All that is left now is time and patience. Stay strong as their will be times where you want to reach out to her, but fight that urge. Give it time, and you will be back to your old self. Everyone always gets over it, it is just a matter of time.
Vent.
Girls on online dating sites are damaged goods.
[QUOTE=Ricky_k;767930493]Vent.
Girls on online dating sites are damaged goods.[/QUOTE]
I have serious doubts over any girl on a dating website who is under the age of 25. They either think they are better then they are, or straight out crazy.
Great tips, even though most are obvious when were hurting we cant help but ignore them. 6 years and in a rough patch.
[QUOTE=HatchingPower;768072493]Great tips, even though most are obvious when were hurting we cant help but ignore them. 6 years and in a rough patch.[/QUOTE]
Just end a six year relationship?
Good advice in the OP. I was debating for a few days on whether I should delete her off FB or not, and this just reassured me of my decision.
feelsgoodman
[QUOTE=briiii;768361203]Good advice in the OP. I was debating for a few days on whether I should delete her off FB or not, and this just reassured me of my decision.
feelsgoodman[/QUOTE]
Although some people think it is best to act indifferent and keep them there, I believe only someone who is 100% in control of their emotions can do this. I find it much easier and much more effective doing the full delete, and gives the a sense of breaking ties which is refreshing.
[QUOTE=_Roidz_;768348303]Just end a six year relationship?[/QUOTE]
yup, i sacrificed alot and gave her everything and didnt get the same back. She let all her bills, and issues affect our relationship and shut down emotionaly. It might sound cold but she was like that for about 2 3 years tried to stick by her but she didnt want to try so i just recently had to end it.
I think the worst part is seeing the other person so happy, and acting like it doesn't affect them. Honestly, I want her to feel like **** and be miserable. She deserves it. But instead, she's happy -___- Or at least it seems like it