after 1.5 years of NC in all forms. including in person,
ran into the ex last night.
I started popping and locking, watched her jaw drop.
Then left.
Disregard and acquire dance moves.
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after 1.5 years of NC in all forms. including in person,
ran into the ex last night.
I started popping and locking, watched her jaw drop.
Then left.
Disregard and acquire dance moves.
[QUOTE=Ricky_k;885186511]after 1.5 years of NC in all forms. including in person,
ran into the ex last night.
I started popping and locking, watched her jaw drop.
Then left.
Disregard and acquire dance moves.[/QUOTE]
We want a video.
To the previous points made about not understanding the whole focusing on yourself thing, I can definitely see how that wouldn't relate to some people. I, however, am only 20 years old, about to turn 21, so my life experience is limited. I definitely got too caught up in a girl and learned from it. Will never put anyone else ahead of myself ever again.
[QUOTE=NHammondDesign;885215441]We want a video.
To the previous points made about not understanding the whole focusing on yourself thing, I can definitely see how that wouldn't relate to some people. I, however, am only 20 years old, about to turn 21, so my life experience is limited. I definitely got too caught up in a girl and learned from it. Will never put anyone else ahead of myself ever again.[/QUOTE]
i dont do videos.
but here is a rap i recorded this morning
[url]http://youtu.be/QT_kVez7-CY[/url]
I think im ending things i with my girl..
i dont feel like writing a story so ill try and keep everything summed up as much as i can.
me and my girl dated for a little over a year now, with the last few months being long distance. when we first met, the first like 5 months i could not get her away from me, she was crazy over me, she thought i was the sexiest person in the world, best sex for her ever, she loved everything, she thought we were going to get married one day, and told me that all she needs in life is me, etc. one year left of college, i thought we were headed a long way together.
i fkn loved this girl, with all my heart everyday. i always put her first and gave her the respect that she deserved, to me (i had that oneitis), she was literally the most beautiful person, the only girl i wanted to spend my entire day with, her laugh, her smile, how she would joke around and be a cocky smartass, im saying she was MY perfect girl.
fast forward past the honeymoon feelings of the relationship, we were really started hitting bumps, arguments every night, threatening to leave the relationship bc we can't stand each other. but always finding ways to breath and hold each other and say we dont want to leave, thats were just frustrated but we love each other.
the last 2 weeks though..brutal. we're doing long distance for a few months. and she got back home for 2 weeks now (home = family) and we were going to skype at least once a week. it's been almost 3 weeks now, and i haven't seen her at all, not skype once even. she told me she doesn't like to skype, which was a big WTF? she absolutely loved to see me everynight before she'd go to bed, but the day she got home to her family she almost started shutting me out of her life. alot of argueing ensues, and those arguments eventually drowned out to both of us not thinking that this relationship will work anymore.
brahs i just dont feel like she loves me anymore. and i dont know what to say to her anymore, i haven't called her in two days, haven't texted since last night. im miserable, today i slept till 2pm, watched The Vow like a little beta *******, and can't even get the balls to study for my last exam (anatomy) on monday, im just sitting listening to that good chill out music..eric church..smooth r&b..some progressive rock..basically any lyrics that make me think of my girl.
the thing is, she changed so much, she's not the girl that i fell in love with anymore, she's not the person i'd go to when i need someone to talk to, or who i can look at to just smile to see that she is happy. when i looked at her name on my phone it was almost a blur like i dont know her anymore. she used to be so loving but now it feels like the only person she cares about is herself. i tried so hard everyday to save the relationship we had but i can't keep putting in the effort when she doesn't put any. she gets stubborn when we talk, and part of me just hates talking to her at this point.
it's just..im tired of crying everyday because we dont have a relationship like we used to, im tired of crying like a little bich when thats not who i am because i dont feel like im loved in a relationship that we both built so strongly up. im afraid that if i lose her im going to be miserable, but i feel like im already miserable in the relationship that i'm in. but it SUCKSSS because i can't decide if im in love with someone who she used to be or what im doing anymore.
i think tomorrow i have to call her..and tell her i can't do it anymore. but i feel like it wouldn't even matter to her, because some reason i feel like im the only one who put effort into the relationship. that and im afraid whats going to happen after her..
i know i can get women very easily, im very good with girls. i never had to read advice on how to get them, i have the confidence to get any girl, i always had the mentality to get what you want. im not afraid of getting girls after her..im afraid of losing something i ultimately built so strongly with, and..brahs i dont want to leave the girl i gave my whole heart and devotion to. how the phuck do you leave someone who you love with all your heart knowing that its the right thing to do.
reps for VERY good meaningful advice
[QUOTE=CytoRoc;885553751]I think im ending things i with my girl..
i dont feel like writing a story so ill try and keep everything summed up as much as i can.
me and my girl dated for a little over a year now, with the last few months being long distance. when we first met, the first like 5 months i could not get her away from me, she was crazy over me, she thought i was the sexiest person in the world, best sex for her ever, she loved everything, she thought we were going to get married one day, and told me that all she needs in life is me, etc. one year left of college, i thought we were headed a long way together.
i fkn loved this girl, with all my heart everyday. i always put her first and gave her the respect that she deserved, to me (i had that oneitis), she was literally the most beautiful person, the only girl i wanted to spend my entire day with, her laugh, her smile, how she would joke around and be a cocky smartass, im saying she was MY perfect girl.
fast forward past the honeymoon feelings of the relationship, we were really started hitting bumps, arguments every night, threatening to leave the relationship bc we can't stand each other. but always finding ways to breath and hold each other and say we dont want to leave, thats were just frustrated but we love each other.
the last 2 weeks though..brutal. we're doing long distance for a few months. and she got back home for 2 weeks now (home = family) and we were going to skype at least once a week. it's been almost 3 weeks now, and i haven't seen her at all, not skype once even. she told me she doesn't like to skype, which was a big WTF? she absolutely loved to see me everynight before she'd go to bed, but the day she got home to her family she almost started shutting me out of her life. alot of argueing ensues, and those arguments eventually drowned out to both of us not thinking that this relationship will work anymore.
brahs i just dont feel like she loves me anymore. and i dont know what to say to her anymore, i haven't called her in two days, haven't texted since last night. im miserable, today i slept till 2pm, watched The Vow like a little beta *******, and can't even get the balls to study for my last exam (anatomy) on monday, im just sitting listening to that good chill out music..eric church..smooth r&b..some progressive rock..basically any lyrics that make me think of my girl.
the thing is, she changed so much, she's not the girl that i fell in love with anymore, she's not the person i'd go to when i need someone to talk to, or who i can look at to just smile to see that she is happy. when i looked at her name on my phone it was almost a blur like i dont know her anymore. she used to be so loving but now it feels like the only person she cares about is herself. i tried so hard everyday to save the relationship we had but i can't keep putting in the effort when she doesn't put any. she gets stubborn when we talk, and part of me just hates talking to her at this point.
it's just..im tired of crying everyday because we dont have a relationship like we used to, im tired of crying like a little bich when thats not who i am because i dont feel like im loved in a relationship that we both built so strongly up. im afraid that if i lose her im going to be miserable, but i feel like im already miserable in the relationship that i'm in. but it SUCKSSS because i can't decide if im in love with someone who she used to be or what im doing anymore.
i think tomorrow i have to call her..and tell her i can't do it anymore. but i feel like it wouldn't even matter to her, because some reason i feel like im the only one who put effort into the relationship. that and im afraid whats going to happen after her..
i know i can get women very easily, im very good with girls. i never had to read advice on how to get them, i have the confidence to get any girl, i always had the mentality to get what you want. im not afraid of getting girls after her..im afraid of losing something i ultimately built so strongly with, and..brahs i dont want to leave the girl i gave my whole heart and devotion to. how the phuck do you leave someone who you love with all your heart knowing that its the right thing to do.
reps for VERY good meaningful advice[/QUOTE]
i literally registered for this site to say that you should definitely break up with her. this isnt gonna be exactly what you want to hear but hear me out. i was in a similar position, dated her for two years (most was long distance though) and it ended so ****ty because i could never break it off. i saw the warning signs, she started doing things that pissed me off/made me worry and when i confronted her it just made it worse. i should have just broken up with her right then and there when i saw those first couple red flags but i was too "committed" because of all the time and memories.
trust me, if you break up with her and act like it doesnt phase you (even if it does) she will subconsciously admire you soooo much more than if you let her string you along and squeeze your balls till you cant take it anymore. the first time me and my ex split, she broke it off but i ignored her for three months. then when i suggested we get back together, she was ****ing me the next week. but the same problems come up and then you slowly lose power all over again and its even more humiliating the second time. then i acted like a beta and begged her to get back the second time we broke up because being "alpha" didn't work anymore. she had already lost interest and the damage was done.
you can never go back in time and make her fall in love with you again. you have no control in this situation. girls have the power in **nearly** every relationship because they have more options than guys do simply because they have the vagina. the BEST move you can do right now is to save your damn dignity and break up with her before you regret waiting too long and having the tables turn on you.
your memories with her will haunt you, just like mine do, but she is a SUNK COST. you really just need to accept that you have no control right now. nothing you do can make her love you like she used to. no debating, no compromising, no gifts, not even gaming her will make her love you again. only SHE can make herself feel that way, and unfortunately she is losing that feeling for you. i watched it all happen to me man.
this girl that broke my heart was literally like a 9 out of 10, smart, got along well with her, so i hated the idea of letting her go. i wish i had someone to tell me a few months ago that everything is counter intuitive in these situations. you invested so much into her and your relationship with her, so your brain is literally hardwired to do the exact opposite of what you need to do. which is to break up with her before she does it. if you break up with her (like seriously break up with her and refuse to get back for at least a couple weeks) it will 1. automatically raise her interest in you and 2. give you the upper hand in the relationship, which she clearly has right now
please don't mess up and do what i did. think with your head man, even when your heart is telling you the exact opposite
[QUOTE=nrk5;885563381]i literally registered for this site to say that you should definitely break up with her. this isnt gonna be exactly what you want to hear but hear me out. i was in a similar position, dated her for two years (most was long distance though) and it ended so ****ty because i could never break it off. i saw the warning signs, she started doing things that pissed me off/made me worry and when i confronted her it just made it worse. i should have just broken up with her right then and there when i saw those first couple red flags but i was too "committed" because of all the time and memories.
trust me, if you break up with her and act like it doesnt phase you (even if it does) she will subconsciously admire you soooo much more than if you let her string you along and squeeze your balls till you cant take it anymore. the first time me and my ex split, she broke it off but i ignored her for three months. then when i suggested we get back together, she was ****ing me the next week. but the same problems come up and then you slowly lose power all over again and its even more humiliating the second time. then i acted like a beta and begged her to get back the second time we broke up because being "alpha" didn't work anymore. she had already lost interest and the damage was done.
you can never go back in time and make her fall in love with you again. you have no control in this situation. girls have the power in **nearly** every relationship because they have more options than guys do simply because they have the vagina. the BEST move you can do right now is to save your damn dignity and break up with her before you regret waiting too long and having the tables turn on you.
your memories with her will haunt you, just like mine do, but she is a SUNK COST. you really just need to accept that you have no control right now. nothing you do can make her love you like she used to. no debating, no compromising, no gifts, not even gaming her will make her love you again. only SHE can make herself feel that way, and unfortunately she is losing that feeling for you. i watched it all happen to me man.
this girl that broke my heart was literally like a 9 out of 10, smart, got along well with her, so i hated the idea of letting her go. i wish i had someone to tell me a few months ago that everything is counter intuitive in these situations. you invested so much into her and your relationship with her, so your brain is literally hardwired to do the exact opposite of what you need to do. which is to break up with her before she does it. if you break up with her (like seriously break up with her and refuse to get back for at least a couple weeks) it will 1. automatically raise her interest in you and 2. give you the upper hand in the relationship, which she clearly has right now
please don't mess up and do what i did. think with your head man, even when your heart is telling you the exact opposite[/QUOTE]
Thank you man, honestly bro thank you so much for that. lol for a first post like that you're like a phucken angel..repped man.
i will take your advice man, i thinks that honestly what i needed to hear
[QUOTE=CytoRoc;885566071]Thank you man, honestly bro thank you so much for that. lol for a first post like that you're like a phucken angel..repped man.
i will take your advice man, i thinks that honestly what i needed to hear[/QUOTE]
Keep us updated man. But as nrk5 said, breaking up is really the only option right now. Everyone knows when the relationship is done, but not many have the coconuts to act on it. You will find nothing but hurt trying to salvage it, it has run its course, it is what it is. It is not your fault, it is not her fault, you two have just come to the end of your time together, simple as that. There will be many more people with the same if not better characteristics which you will form a strong bond with. Tis the tale of life.
[QUOTE=CytoRoc;885566071]Thank you man, honestly bro thank you so much for that. lol for a first post like that you're like a phucken angel..repped man.
i will take your advice man, i thinks that honestly what i needed to hear[/QUOTE]
no problem man, i'm just speaking from experience. had pretty much the same thing happen to me the last couple months. looking back, i realized a really important lesson about girls. the lesson seems obvious when you first think about it, but it really helps to maintain a good perspective on relationships... here it is: if you don't feel like you are the one in control of your relationship, then you really aren't in control **at all**
it would be nice to imagine that relationships are all about 50/50 control between the guy and the girl, but honestly... i think that's bullsh*t. when you first started dating her, you had probably 80 to 85% of the control because she really loved you. this is how a relationship is supposed to work, because the girl is truly in love with the guy and the guy doesn't have to worry at all about her commitment. but as time goes on, it is easy to feel more and more insecure about the relationship, because you have more to lose than she does. a guy in a long term monogamous relationship has sooo much more to lose than the girl in the relationship does, and thus it is so easy for a guy to lose his control of the relationship.
guys are typically the "providers" of the family. so as you keep investing in a girl and after a year or so, this investment feels HUGE. thats why its hard to just let it go, because it feels like you're throwing away an investment that required so much time and emotion. girls, on the other hand, don't view relationships as investments. in my opinion... girls are biologically much more in control of their emotions in a relationship, and if she starts falling out of love, any investment that she previously made means NOTHING to her. that is why nothing you can do at this point can help, except to ditch her.
when girls go through a break up, they usually get attention from other guys and their friends to make them feel better. their friends will probably talk about you and say she can do better. and it actually helps girls a lot. guys don't have the same kind of support so its a lot harder for us to maintain composure and not turn beta. but if you can stick it out, stay strong, and avoid contacting her, you WILL trump her. most girls are strong after going through a break up, but they are nowhere near as strong as a guy who moves on from a breakup with grace and a smile on his face.
if you break up with her, it wouldn't surprise me if she still thinks about you for at least a few months. if, at any point, you feel like she is sincere in getting back together with you, then you can always give it another shot in a couple months. but the first necessary step is getting back that control that i was talking about earlier.
sorry for the rant, just trying to help out everyone facing a break up... BREAK UP WITH HER FIRST!!!!
^^
&
[QUOTE=_Roidz_;885576771]Keep us updated man. But as nrk5 said, breaking up is really the only option right now. Everyone knows when the relationship is done, but not many have the coconuts to act on it. You will find nothing but hurt trying to salvage it, it has run its course, it is what it is. It is not your fault, it is not her fault, you two have just come to the end of your time together, simple as that. There will be many more people with the same if not better characteristics which you will form a strong bond with. Tis the tale of life.[/QUOTE]
she's with friends tonight. i'm going to sleep on what to say, then call her tomorrow and tell her i can't do it anymore. ending it tomorrow..
will update tomorrow
[QUOTE=CytoRoc;885586511]^^
&
she's with friends tonight. i'm going to sleep on what to say, then call her tomorrow and tell her i can't do it anymore. ending it tomorrow..
will update tomorrow[/QUOTE]
I agreed with the advice given. let us know how it goes man
[QUOTE=nrk5;885563381]i literally registered for this site to say that you should definitely break up with her. this isnt gonna be exactly what you want to hear but hear me out. i was in a similar position, dated her for two years (most was long distance though) and it ended so ****ty because i could never break it off. i saw the warning signs, she started doing things that pissed me off/made me worry and when i confronted her it just made it worse. i should have just broken up with her right then and there when i saw those first couple red flags but i was too "committed" because of all the time and memories.
trust me, if you break up with her and act like it doesnt phase you (even if it does) she will subconsciously admire you soooo much more than if you let her string you along and squeeze your balls till you cant take it anymore. the first time me and my ex split, she broke it off but i ignored her for three months. then when i suggested we get back together, she was ****ing me the next week. but the same problems come up and then you slowly lose power all over again and its even more humiliating the second time. then i acted like a beta and begged her to get back the second time we broke up because being "alpha" didn't work anymore. she had already lost interest and the damage was done.
you can never go back in time and make her fall in love with you again. you have no control in this situation. girls have the power in **nearly** every relationship because they have more options than guys do simply because they have the vagina. the BEST move you can do right now is to save your damn dignity and break up with her before you regret waiting too long and having the tables turn on you.
your memories with her will haunt you, just like mine do, but she is a SUNK COST. you really just need to accept that you have no control right now. nothing you do can make her love you like she used to. no debating, no compromising, no gifts, not even gaming her will make her love you again. only SHE can make herself feel that way, and unfortunately she is losing that feeling for you. i watched it all happen to me man.
this girl that broke my heart was literally like a 9 out of 10, smart, got along well with her, so i hated the idea of letting her go. i wish i had someone to tell me a few months ago that everything is counter intuitive in these situations. you invested so much into her and your relationship with her, so your brain is literally hardwired to do the exact opposite of what you need to do. which is to break up with her before she does it. if you break up with her (like seriously break up with her and refuse to get back for at least a couple weeks) it will 1. automatically raise her interest in you and 2. give you the upper hand in the relationship, which she clearly has right now
please don't mess up and do what i did. think with your head man, even when your heart is telling you the exact opposite[/QUOTE]
I've been a lurker in this thread for a while, but I feel like I need to reply to this.
This is the DEFINITIVE piece of advice for this situation, nothing else can match it.
I was broken up with about 6 or so weeks ago, I was in a distance relationship for over a year. I noticed some warning signs since february but I tried to ignore them. And I only recently realised how unhappy I was, and how **** my ex treated me (emotionally). She would never tell me how she felt or what she was thinking, she never initiated physical contact and she also was never the one to ask "can I see you this weekend?", it was always me.
I'm getting over it relatively fast I think, it helps that she was a complete coward and pussy when she broke up with me. She didn't tell me "cause she didn't want to hurt me" and her reasons was this list of **** that could've been talked about and if not resolved, a break up could've been clean. But she broke up with me via text, and told me why 2 WEEKS LATER via email.
I don't respect her at all any more, I don't want to talk to her and I don't want to see her. (It helps that we live in different towns.)
The only thing that is preventing me from being completely over her is the residual anger from how things went, and I guess that subconscious part of my brain that is still like "OMG I'M SINGLE MY CHANCES TO REPRODUCE ARE NOW UNCERTAIN" that is playing around with me a bit.
It would've been so much easier had I just broken it off, but she was my first serious gf and I guess it was a bit scary. We never even had sex though, which helps getting over her. (She was pretty uptight)
Anyway, the best thing to do when things get hairy like that, and the relationship becomes very unbalanced - is get the hell out before you get hurt.
Finally me and my girlfriend broke up. We have been arguing for months but neither of us would end it. Feels so wierd to be single again and know that I don't have to deal with her. Obviously I'll miss her, well miss what we had a long time ago. I think I'll be good at the no contact thing but we have so many mutual friends I'm going to be with her so many times this summer.
So im on 2nd week of no contact, and I can say its getting easier and easier to deal with. I still have those moments where Ill have nothing to do one day, and I'll think to text her and see if she'd want to hang out. That's the part that sucks so much. I don't have that one person who would always be down to go for some sort of crazy adventure with me. But **** it, I get over it right away and find something else to occupy my time. Plus This gives me reasons to build better friendships with those already in my life so I can spend that time with, rather than think of her.
[QUOTE=Fwill1721;885800501]So im on 2nd week of no contact, and I can say its getting easier and easier to deal with. I still have those moments where Ill have nothing to do one day, and I'll think to text her and see if she'd want to hang out. That's the part that sucks so much. I don't have that one person who would always be down to go for some sort of crazy adventure with me. But **** it, I get over it right away and find something else to occupy my time. Plus This gives me reasons to build better friendships with those already in my life so I can spend that time with, rather than think of her.[/QUOTE]
You don't have that other person because you now have YOURSELF which is 100x better. I feel the exact same way sometimes so I wrote up this little diddy and posted it on my door so I see it every morning when I wake up. Makes me want to rage and just take the day by storm:
"This is your new life, DO NOT look back. DO NOT second guess yourself. Since everything has happened you have been more happy, healthy and social than EVER before. You have the right to be picky about the girls you like. You do not need to rush into a relationship. You are in your fking prime. Meet new people, explore, value your good friends, have some fun! You have an amazing job, family, house, skill set and body. You are better off than 99% of the people your age and a lot of those that are older. THERE IS NOTHING STOPPING YOU. Grab the day by the balls and never look back, the future is waiting."
Just made the hardest choice in my life and ended things with my girl.
I'm already feeling like i made a huge mistake, because she said "you were perfect to me, but you just ended things because you didn't believe you were"
which shoved about as much guilt in my throat to make me puke.
i told her "as much as i love oyu with all my heart, i just can't do this anymore" . ... and obviously alot more.
but halfway thru the convo i choked up and started crying my eyes out knowing that this was the hardest decision, i could hear that pain in her voice.
i dont really want to talk so i wont be on misc for a while..nor ********..
i'm not going to remove her from friends on ******** or delete her number though. just feel that would be wrong. me and her never wronged each other, we were always faithful, it was just impossible to love someone so much and not see them ever and have all we been thru...
[QUOTE=nrk5;885563381]i literally registered for this site to say that you should definitely break up with her. this isnt gonna be exactly what you want to hear but hear me out. i was in a similar position, dated her for two years (most was long distance though) and it ended so ****ty because i could never break it off. i saw the warning signs, she started doing things that pissed me off/made me worry and when i confronted her it just made it worse. i should have just broken up with her right then and there when i saw those first couple red flags but i was too "committed" because of all the time and memories.
trust me, if you break up with her and act like it doesnt phase you (even if it does) she will subconsciously admire you soooo much more than if you let her string you along and squeeze your balls till you cant take it anymore. the first time me and my ex split, she broke it off but i ignored her for three months. then when i suggested we get back together, she was ****ing me the next week. but the same problems come up and then you slowly lose power all over again and its even more humiliating the second time. then i acted like a beta and begged her to get back the second time we broke up because being "alpha" didn't work anymore. she had already lost interest and the damage was done.
you can never go back in time and make her fall in love with you again. you have no control in this situation. girls have the power in **nearly** every relationship because they have more options than guys do simply because they have the vagina. the BEST move you can do right now is to save your damn dignity and break up with her before you regret waiting too long and having the tables turn on you.
your memories with her will haunt you, just like mine do, but she is a SUNK COST. you really just need to accept that you have no control right now. nothing you do can make her love you like she used to. no debating, no compromising, no gifts, not even gaming her will make her love you again. only SHE can make herself feel that way, and unfortunately she is losing that feeling for you. i watched it all happen to me man.
this girl that broke my heart was literally like a 9 out of 10, smart, got along well with her, so i hated the idea of letting her go. i wish i had someone to tell me a few months ago that everything is counter intuitive in these situations. you invested so much into her and your relationship with her, so your brain is literally hardwired to do the exact opposite of what you need to do. which is to break up with her before she does it. if you break up with her (like seriously break up with her and refuse to get back for at least a couple weeks) it will 1. automatically raise her interest in you and 2. give you the upper hand in the relationship, which she clearly has right now
please don't mess up and do what i did. think with your head man, even when your heart is telling you the exact opposite[/QUOTE]
Some of the best advice I have read on this site. 100% same thing happened to me, I reacted the wrong way and tried to win her back. Haven't heard from her in over 6 months and I know it is because of how emo I was regarding us breaking up. It was also long distance after college.
[QUOTE=intense77;885942041]Some of the best advice I have read on this site. 100% same thing happened to me, I reacted the wrong way and tried to win her back. Haven't heard from her in over 6 months and I know it is because of how emo I was regarding us breaking up. It was also long distance after college.[/QUOTE]
strong this. a lot of us know that feel. if there is anything you should take from this thread, its no contact at all the second you break up, even if you want to get back together.
[QUOTE=CytoRoc;885919851] it was just impossible to love someone so much and not see them ever and have all we been thru...[/QUOTE]
don't get your hopes to high on this one. Im sorry to say. A lot of guys / girls once thought this too
[QUOTE=Ricky_k;885964801]don't get your hopes to high on this one. Im sorry to say. A lot of guys / girls once thought this too[/QUOTE]
Struggling with this myself. Tried to talk to the ex last night and it just ended up being a sht storm of bickering lol. It's helping me realize what a hot mess she is though, which is good for getting over everything.
I'll say this again even though it's been said throughout this thread...you will almost NEVER get the closure you want at the end. This is probably the toughest thing to deal with but you have to continue NC or you'll just think you can keep trying to resolve things that cannot be resolved.
GF of 4.25 years left me because she said that she wasnt in love with me any more and has feelings for another guy. Huge blow to everything I know and understand. Its been 5 days since she said she wanted a break, Ive been preparing that it wont work since then, got the official news 2 days ago that she doesnt want to try to even work things out. Thats what kills me the most, she doesnt want to try. Basically ive been surrounding myself with my good friends and my great family and they have made the hard time more bearable. I know its going to be hard for a while but ill be better one day. Im using this time to work on me and my relationship between my friends. It sucks because ive spent 20% of my life with her and it hurts to have it gone, but as each days goes on, it gets easier and easier. Im gutting my room today and packing away everything that reminds me of her away and giving it to my friend to hold onto, im going to be deleting her off of ******** and also deleting her number, even though I know it by heart. One day ill learn to love again but untill then it will be an adventur.
Hey brahs, GF of 3.5 years and I broke up tonight..it doesn't feel real atm, like I'm still with her. Maybe because the option was left open of still talking when she comes back from her trip in a week. Part of me really wants to try to work things out with her when she's back because I love her more than anything, first love, first sex, first everything really but the other part of me is saying dood you're 19, it's time to go live life. It's sad and poster above me made me realize I too have spent almost 20% of my life with this girl, it's so crazy how **** changes over time, feelings once so strong just slowly go away without you even noticing til it's nearly over
Feeling pretty sad right now bros and I know it hasn't even fully hit me yet :(
In the beginning i came into this section to troll and laugh...but reading all this only reminded me how a girl i was with for 2 years that recently ended a month and a half ago....Long story short i found out one day she stole my phone to search up the number of one of my friend that i somehow suspected she was attracted to...
ex gf's birthday is tomorrow. we've been broken up for almost 3 weeks now. Tomorrow is gonna make me feel like utter crap! i can't let that get to me though but it's hard not to think about her probably gettin railed after she goes out to the bars.
quickie update on my situation:
cliffs on break-up:
-was with her for 3.5 years...first true love...lived together for 2.5 years.
-i have to move to LA for work (film), she doesn't want to follow
-she took that really hard and starting to check out of relationship..used to never drink...now getting yucky with friends 2-4 times a week.
-I fly back to Chicago, we break up...have to live together for a few more days before we move out
Currently: Been 2 weeks since the break-up. We agreed that we still do love each other very much, but aren't the right people for each other right now (plus she doesn't want to come to LA). She dropped me off at home over a week ago and we both broke down. She told me she loved me...and kept open the possibility of reconnecting down the line once we figure out what we want to do with our lives, who we are, and get another relationship or two under our belts so we can be even better with each other (sorta agree).
We've sent a few texts here and there, she still continues with the "I love you" speak. That's what hurts the most...Anyway, I flew back to LA a couple days ago and I'm terrified of flying. She calls me just before I board the plane and gives me a good ole pep talk about flying. Tells me she loves me again before we hang up. Hearing her say it saying it vs text brought back all the crappy emotions again. Fought hard to not cry before I got on the plane.
I'm staying as busy as I can. Focusing on my work and friends...and chatting up with women here and there to try to move on. I keep having dreams about the ex though. Not good ones...usually about her with other people sexually or just generally being distant with me. I woke up today feeling like **** because I had one last night. I'm going to do my best to not text or respond to her texts now. Talking to her just makes it worse. I figure if I really want to try again down the line I'll call her then. I'm afraid if I keep talking to her I either won't get over her, or she'll friend zone me and just keep me in her life as an emotional crutch from time to time.
I know what is the best and logical thing to do...but for some reason logic isn't working with me right now.
/rant
[QUOTE=Toledous;886934381]quickie update on my situation:
cliffs on break-up:
-was with her for 3.5 years...first true love...lived together for 2.5 years.
-i have to move to LA for work (film), she doesn't want to follow
-she took that really hard and starting to check out of relationship..used to never drink...now getting yucky with friends 2-4 times a week.
-I fly back to Chicago, we break up...have to live together for a few more days before we move out
Currently: Been 2 weeks since the break-up. We agreed that we still do love each other very much, but aren't the right people for each other right now (plus she doesn't want to come to LA). She dropped me off at home over a week ago and we both broke down. She told me she loved me...and kept open the possibility of reconnecting down the line once we figure out what we want to do with our lives, who we are, and get another relationship or two under our belts so we can be even better with each other (sorta agree).
We've sent a few texts here and there, she still continues with the "I love you" speak. That's what hurts the most...Anyway, I flew back to LA a couple days ago and I'm terrified of flying. She calls me just before I board the plane and gives me a good ole pep talk about flying. Tells me she loves me again before we hang up. Hearing her say it saying it vs text brought back all the crappy emotions again. Fought hard to not cry before I got on the plane.
I'm staying as busy as I can. Focusing on my work and friends...and chatting up with women here and there to try to move on. I keep having dreams about the ex though. Not good ones...usually about her with other people sexually or just generally being distant with me. I woke up today feeling like **** because I had one last night. I'm going to do my best to not text or respond to her texts now. Talking to her just makes it worse. I figure if I really want to try again down the line I'll call her then. I'm afraid if I keep talking to her I either won't get over her, or she'll friend zone me and just keep me in her life as an emotional crutch from time to time.
I know what is the best and logical thing to do...but for some reason logic isn't working with me right now.
/rant[/QUOTE]
1 thing I want to tell you, about the whole "Waking up and feeling like ****"
Do not, EVER lay in bed in the morning. It's the worst. I have never felt so bad after a break as I do when I wake up in the morning, particularly after a dream about the ex.
When you wake up in the morning, as soon as your eyes are open. Get up and get out of bed. I don't know what it is, but when you lie there and you have time to think, and particularly if you shared a bed with the ex, it makes you feel terrible.
[QUOTE=Steveyblack;886369931]GF of 4.25 years left me because she said that she wasnt in love with me any more and has feelings for another guy. Huge blow to everything I know and understand. Its been 5 days since she said she wanted a break, Ive been preparing that it wont work since then, got the official news 2 days ago that she doesnt want to try to even work things out. Thats what kills me the most, she doesnt want to try. Basically ive been surrounding myself with my good friends and my great family and they have made the hard time more bearable. I know its going to be hard for a while but ill be better one day. Im using this time to work on me and my relationship between my friends. It sucks because ive spent 20% of my life with her and it hurts to have it gone, but as each days goes on, it gets easier and easier. Im gutting my room today and packing away everything that reminds me of her away and giving it to my friend to hold onto, im going to be deleting her off of ******** and also deleting her number, even though I know it by heart. One day ill learn to love again but untill then it will be an adventur.[/QUOTE]
hey bros it is/was a really hard day for me today, I dont know why but its just so hard not to think about her. I try my best not to but my mind always wonders onto the subject. Its just hard because I work by myself and I used to use the time to talk to the gf all the time, and now I cant find something to fill the void.
Gf told me to get ahold of her when I was ready to talk about in awnsered topics. Meeting tomorrow to probably get my full out closure. Let you guys know how it goes. Been destroying the gym, looking ripped as ****, tan and I'm going to roll up on my brand new Yamaha R6. She be sure to get jelly.
feeling like sh*t this week. since me and the ex split i felt fine until this week. first week i was fine, 2nd was similar but this week , 3rd, startin to feel like crap. in the end my ex wanted space and u guys told me i didnt the right thing by leaving her after she asked for it. she basically wanted it because i ignored her for 24 hrs when we fell out and claimed she didnt know where she stood in our 2.5 year relationship anymore. she wanted a couple weeks space and i stupidly agreed. 2 days after i finished.
Not heard a thing from her. its nearly been 3 weeks which i know isnt long but has been longest we havent spoke. she was my first true love and know and then would talk about marriage. shes 21 am 20. i always told her am to young etc lol.
i just dont understand how we've walked away like this and she hasnt even made an effort to talk to make an effort to keep th relationship. she seemed cool about it after i split despite she asked for space. i know right now i shouldn't care less what she thinks and the rest but its gettin to me now. just want to fill the void and find another women. sounds stupid i know. not havng much luck findin a new women at the moment.
ps wasnt beta when she asked for space i just agreed and wasnt when we split was just like 'wateva' . deleted her number and from ******** to help but nothings helping me forget about her!
[QUOTE=Fwill1721;886901891]ex gf's birthday is tomorrow. we've been broken up for almost 3 weeks now. Tomorrow is gonna make me feel like utter crap! i can't let that get to me though but it's hard not to think about her probably gettin railed after she goes out to the bars.[/QUOTE]
well even though it's only midnight, it still is techincally her bday. feelin down brahs. anyone awake that can shed some light on a situation like this? I know i should treat it like any other day, but the break up is still fresh. its not like its been a few months. tomorrow is gonna be stressful. at least i'll finish up all my finals, and then when i get home i'll have my NCSF certification packet come in the mail and i can start studying right away. would it be wise to send a happy birthday text? we left on somewhat good terms, and both agreed we'd be friends way later down the line since we have mutual friends anyway and can't avoid eachother forever. I want to be civil more than anything. and don't want to get back together with her. any input would be great.
over the girl I used to see...feelsgoodman
brahs just stay strong things will turn for the better in time