[QUOTE=RICKSANTORUM;812745361]pretending to understand[/QUOTE]
A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".
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[QUOTE=RICKSANTORUM;812745361]pretending to understand[/QUOTE]
A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".
[QUOTE=uracowman;812744901]I got both (bio graduate here)
I don't get how the first one pertains to hide and seek though. I guess it's just a play on words?
Second one was decent.[/QUOTE]Newton is "hidden" because he becomes a Pascal and is no longer a Newton (by standing on a square meter).
What do you do with a dead scientist?
Barium!
A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, Professor! What if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion! That's my wife!"
[QUOTE=devilbones;812740161]One Newton (N) per square meter (m2) is one Pascal (Pa) and is a unit of pressure. Isaac was saying you dont see me, its Pascal. The other physicist.[/QUOTE]
ah, right. Can't see air pressure.
fuk these make me lol! haha
- Two atoms are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron." The other asks "Are you sure?" To which the first replies, "I'm positive."
my iq is 144 and i dont understand any of these (srs)
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3s".
A group is working hard to ban the potentially dangerous chemical, dihydrogen monoxide. Check out the research on this subject.
LOL @ high IQ required ;)
I laughed at the first joke 8)
The second joke just reminded me of this [IMG]http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_le6ce3JHMl1qzzxaqo1_500.jpg[/IMG]
tl;dr the rest of the thread. Good day sirs.
[QUOTE=admire;812736961]
Two chemists walk into a bar. The Bartender is a chemist, too. The first chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O." The second chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O, too."
The second chemist dies
[/QUOTE]this made me lol at work
Descartes Walks into a bar
The Bartender asks Descartes "Would you like anything to drink?"
Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.
[QUOTE=admire;812747191]A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".[/QUOTE]
[img]http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/33723571/Sheldon+Cooper+sheldon.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=GermanBB;812741261]love science jokes... but that one is sorta blah...
reps all the same op[/QUOTE]
Au come on, that joke was gold.
[QUOTE=YoBroseidon;812751671]Descartes Walks into a bar
The Bartender asks Descartes "Would you like anything to drink?"
Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.[/QUOTE]
gtfo with your philsophy jokes. It's enough of a joke subject as it is
lol'd at this thread, especially chemistry cat
[QUOTE=BuckleyInDaHous;812749351]ah, right. Can't see air pressure.[/QUOTE]Pascals are not just for air pressure
[QUOTE=pimptasty;812749851]my iq is 144 and i dont understand any of these (srs)[/QUOTE]I don't believe your claim (srs)
[QUOTE=CarlMcGuirk;812752951]Pascals are not just for air pressure
I don't believe your claim (srs)[/QUOTE]
you dont have to believe. ive taken multiple tests and theyve all scored in the 140-150 range. thats all the proof i need.
[img]http://cdn.nextround.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Scumbag-Steve-Variations-That-Will-Make-You-LOL_0.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=pimptasty;812753391]you dont have to believe. ive taken multiple tests and theyve all scored in the 140-150 range. thats all the proof i need.[/QUOTE]ohhhh
the internet tests don't count :(
[QUOTE=Diesel222;812743761]Not really a Science joke, but I heard this one around in the engineering department and thought it was funny.
Three freshman engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.
One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.
Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pullies is ingeniuos.
"No," the third student said "your both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=uracowman;812750111]A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3s".
A group is working hard to ban the potentially dangerous chemical, dihydrogen monoxide. Check out the research on this subject.[/QUOTE]
Had to double check that one, but still lol'd
[QUOTE=YoBroseidon;812751671]Descartes Walks into a bar
The Bartender asks Descartes "Would you like anything to drink?"
Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.[/QUOTE]
lol'd
Why did the mathematician only work from home? Because he can only function in his domain.
[QUOTE=pimptasty;812753391]you dont have to believe. ive taken multiple tests and theyve all scored in the 140-150 range. thats all the proof i need.[/QUOTE]
Go back to recognising patterns then, this is for people that actually study !
awesome pick up line!
"I wish I was DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes."
I understand these jokes.... :(
Do I know any science jokes? Na
[quote=shortfuze;812753721][img]http://cdn.nextround.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/scumbag-steve-variations-that-will-make-you-lol_0.jpg[/img][/quote]
lol
What's the common name for CH2O?
seawater
:trollface:
[QUOTE=JoshSP1985;812756221]Do I know any science jokes? Na[/QUOTE]
oh_you.jpg
An excited cylinder says to a thermometer, "I graduated!"
Thermometer says, "eh"
The cylinder asks, "Why aren't you impressed?"
Thermometer replies, "I have 100 degrees"
[QUOTE=admire;812736961]A group of physicists was playing[/QUOTE]
Stopped reading after that, sorry OP
Chemistry Cat however, moar pls
Once upon a time two electrons lived in harmony. They obeyed their just ruler Pauli and enjoyed their ground state existence. One day there was a bright flash of light and the electrons were separated. They no longer shared the same probability cloud. This made one of the electrons sad because he really missed the other electron. So he yelled out to it through the void, “Hey why don’t you come up here? It’s pretty exciting.” It was silent for awhile and then it heard a wee voice coming from the shadows which said, “Sorry but, no HOMO.”