[QUOTE=aristomeow;982699943]PM him and say ty! he's a mod + a sweetheart :)[/QUOTE]
gracias, thank him for me sunshine
Printable View
[QUOTE=aristomeow;982699943]PM him and say ty! he's a mod + a sweetheart :)[/QUOTE]
gracias, thank him for me sunshine
Just because you have a miserable relationship with a girl you do not care about and that you treat like sh*t and you're so fked up and bitter it doesn't mean you need to make all your friends have the same sh*tty attitude towards women.
You are a poisonous little leech and I hope your bro figures it out sooner or later. You are ruining your life and you know it.. and you take advantage of his good heart and try to make him self-destruct. I honestly cannot fathom hating anyone I've never met in this degree but I absolutely despise you and everything you stand for and I hope we are never in each other's presence under the influence of alcohol because I WILL lose my fking mind at you.
*breathe*
Didn't know my gym closed at 8pm due to Thanksgiving tomorrow.....losing gains as I type.
[QUOTE=Musc1eBound;982784563]Didn't know my gym closed at 8pm due to Thanksgiving tomorrow.....losing gains as I type.[/QUOTE]
oh you puny little man
go outside do pushups, dead lift some corolas, do some pull ups, find a big girl have her sit on your shoulders and do squats, you wont need a bar cushion at least for your back.
[QUOTE=Musc1eBound;982784563]Didn't know my gym closed at 8pm due to Thanksgiving tomorrow.....losing gains as I type.[/QUOTE]
My gym closes at 2pm tomorrow. Jealous?
[QUOTE=penny0527;982791053]My gym closes at 2pm tomorrow. Jealous?[/QUOTE]
Plane ticket prices?
brothers..big brother actually
why is it that on one hand he can stick by my like glue, always defend me, always watch over me but on the other hand
he feels entitled to point out any and every bad thing I have ever done since I was two?
how can he tell me that I am making the right decision for myself, my well being and for my son by choosing to end an unhappy marriage and then tell me I was a dumb azz for marrying him in the first place?
how can he tell me that I need to just work on me, build up my self esteem, try to take each day as it comes and feel better about myself
but then point out every flaw and defect in my personality?
[QUOTE=penny0527;982791053]My gym closes at 2pm tomorrow. Jealous?[/QUOTE]
same here, hit it hard tomorrow
then wait for the turkey
[QUOTE=latebloomingmom;982793253]brothers..big brother actually
why is it that on one hand he can stick by my like glue, always defend me, always watch over me but on the other hand
he feels entitled to point out any and every bad thing I have ever done since I was two?
how can he tell me that I am making the right decision for myself, my well being and for my son by choosing to end an unhappy marriage and then tell me I was a dumb azz for marrying him in the first place?
how can he tell me that I need to just work on me, build up my self esteem, try to take each day as it comes and feel better about myself
but then point out every flaw and defect in my personality?[/QUOTE]
Hugs LBM.. Sometimes people are very bad at showing their concern.. Older siblings especially who sometimes feel like they have to be a friend, and at other times feel like they have to be a parent.
[QUOTE=aristomeow;982796493]Hugs LBM.. Sometimes people are very bad at showing their concern.. Older siblings especially who sometimes feel like they have to be a friend, and at other times feel like they have to be a parent.[/QUOTE] I know he loves me but I just dont need another person in my life telling me I was stupid for sticking in an unhappy marriage for 21 years for the sake of my children..tells me that it was not because I was committed to my relationship and my vows but it was because I was a coward and that is why I am in the position that I am in right now..43 year old mom going back to college with no degree..that I got exactly what I asked for in life
I walked down the aisle at the ripe old age of 23
I thought I was in love..in fact, I know I was
I know how hard I tried to be a good wife and mother ( he knows this too)
I did not call it quits til my oldest was graduated, out of the house, enrolled in college and in his apt safe and sound
this does not make me a coward
I understood who it was I was married to very early on in my marriage but I took my vows in front of God and family and I thought they were til death do us part
he does not understand this about me
that my marriage is my failure
I carry the guilt for it
that I am f*cking miseralbe over it
not because I finally left
I knew the end when I saw it coming
but because once upon a time
we had just as much of a chance as any couple did of making it last a lifetime
I tried my damndest along the way
I warned him over and over of how we were growing apart
tried a million things to make it work
tried counseling, tried date night..none of it was enough
it is a hard and harsh reality
when you come to the realization that this person who claims to love you above all others
really doesnt
then you are faced with two options: stay knowing it will never improve, never change
or leave
[QUOTE=latebloomingmom;982793253]
how can he tell me that I am making the right decision for myself, my well being and for my son by choosing to end an unhappy marriage and then tell me I was a dumb azz for marrying him in the first place?
[/QUOTE]
He can tell you now because you left him. Never tell someone they married a dumbass while still married to the dumbass. I never told my sister I did not like her husband until they filed for divorce. It wasn't my place.
[QUOTE=penny0527;982800423]He can tell you now because you left him. Never tell someone they married a dumbass while still married to the dumbass. I never told my sister I did not like her husband until they filed for divorce. It wasn't my place.[/QUOTE]did she survive it? :)
we filed in july ourselves as an uncontested divorce
we did not hire attorneys becuase and I quote "honey now ya know I cannot afford an attorney for you and I so we will do this cheap way and do it ourselves. We are calm and rational adults who have been together for 20 years. We can distribute our assets and debts fairly and decide what is best for our sons"
ok..so I filed the papers, paid the fees, got the court date
no problems
unitil two weeks ago when he hired an attorney
apparantly he has a change of heart on some of things we had previously agreed upon
like visitation
like child support amount
like who gets to claim our son on taxes
ya ever walk away from talking to someone and come to the realization that they really and truly are the monster that you always thought
they were capable of becoming?
[QUOTE=latebloomingmom;982807313]did she survive it? :)
we filed in july ourselves as an uncontested divorce
we did not hire attorneys becuase and I quote "honey now ya know I cannot afford an attorney for you and I so we will do this cheap way and do it ourselves. We are calm and rational adults who have been together for 20 years. We can distribute our assets and debts fairly and decide what is best for our sons"
ok..so I filed the papers, paid the fees, got the court date
no problems
unitil two weeks ago when he hired an attorney
apparantly he has a change of heart on some of things we had previously agreed upon
like visitation
like child support amount
like who gets to claim our son on taxes
ya ever walk away from talking to someone and come to the realization that they really and truly are the monster that you always thought
they were capable of becoming?[/QUOTE]
My sister went through the opposite. He flipped at first and is all calm now.
You cannot tell your siblings you do not like their spouse. It isn't right.
Who is to say your brother isn't just saying that now to make you feel better? Maybe he wants you to feel better about your decision to leave.
[QUOTE=penny0527;982813313]My sister went through the opposite. He flipped at first and is all calm now.
You cannot tell your siblings you do not like their spouse. It isn't right.
Who is to say your brother isn't just saying that now to make you feel better? Maybe he wants you to feel better about your decision to leave.[/QUOTE]oooo I have always known my brother did not care for or was not fond of my husband..who had the tendency to be an egotistical, condecending pr*ck..to his credit he never blew up at my husband or questioned him openly on how he chose to address his wife or his children. I know without a doubt that he loves me. I have known this my entire life. Our parents are both deceased so I know he feels like its his job to shoot it to me straight..hurts sometimes though
Some people just like to say "I told you so" because they like to be right. Regardless, things unfolded as they did. Who knows whether things would be better or worse if different decisions were made. You can only make the best of what you've got right now, the rest is irrelevant!
[QUOTE=latebloomingmom;982816403]oooo I have always known my brother did not care for or was not fond of my husband..who had the tendency to be an egotistical, condecending pr*ck..to his credit he never blew up at my husband or questioned him openly on how he chose to address his wife or his children. I know without a doubt that he loves me. I have known this my entire life. Our parents are both deceased so I know he feels like its his job to shoot it to me straight..hurts sometimes though[/QUOTE]
I know exactly how you feel LBM. My eldest brother felt the same way as yours. Except for the last 5 years of my marriage he even offered to pay for an apartment for me to just get out. I stuck it out for 20 yrs. But I stayed that long for different reasons. He means well, and you know he loves you. Sometimes brothers have a hard time expressing their feelings in a more appropriate way, especially when they know we are hurting.
LBM, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know I've mentioned my problems and, well, no matter what, it just sucks azz.
My husband has also mentioned some things about money that have shocked me. Something about money has a way of turning a person nasty.
I'm sending you hugs and love and support. No one ever plans to get divorced or have things not work out. It is hard and scary to leave and start over but you are entitled to happiness - I know you'll find it. Hang in there!! Xoxxo
[QUOTE=latebloomingmom;982799803]I know he loves me but I just dont need another person in my life telling me I was stupid for sticking in an unhappy marriage for 21 years for the sake of my children..tells me that it was not because I was committed to my relationship and my vows but it was because I was a coward and that is why I am in the position that I am in right now..43 year old mom going back to college with no degree..that I got exactly what I asked for in life
I walked down the aisle at the ripe old age of 23
I thought I was in love..in fact, I know I was
I know how hard I tried to be a good wife and mother ( he knows this too)
I did not call it quits til my oldest was graduated, out of the house, enrolled in college and in his apt safe and sound
this does not make me a coward
I understood who it was I was married to very early on in my marriage but I took my vows in front of God and family and I thought they were til death do us part
he does not understand this about me
that my marriage is my failure
I carry the guilt for it
that I am f*cking miseralbe over it
not because I finally left
I knew the end when I saw it coming
but because once upon a time
we had just as much of a chance as any couple did of making it last a lifetime
I tried my damndest along the way
I warned him over and over of how we were growing apart
tried a million things to make it work
tried counseling, tried date night..none of it was enough
it is a hard and harsh reality
when you come to the realization that this person who claims to love you above all others
really doesnt
then you are faced with two options: stay knowing it will never improve, never change
or leave[/QUOTE]
LBM I also married at 23 and as the stars aligned it has been a blessing. I have 4 brothers and no matter what depending on the brother they feel obligated to "try" and help even when as you stated they make no sense. Unless you have given your life to a person and been their foundation as you obviously have for this man that you have chosen to move on from it is hard to understand why things like this happen. I usually do not comment on these kinds of things but I have to say to you, by the nature of the term "relationship" it takes two to make it and two to break it. YOU are at most only 50% responsible for your marriage not working. By the sounds of it much less. I have been married long enough to know you cannot be MARRIED ALONE. One cannot make it work by themselves. You made the options available to him and he continued to place the weight on you to make it all better. This kind of relationship ending is harsh and making the decision to survive it and make a happiness for yourself is not only wise it is courageous. If you must feel guilt please only assume that which is yours to be guilty about......you are a beautiful, witty and strong woman so I hope you can see the logic of what I am saying.
In divorce treat what happens as a business transaction. Protect yourself. You are now your priority.
I hope the best for you I understand the lifetime you have given to him but he appears to be the one that has chosen to disrespect the goodness he had in you and all the wonderful things you gave to him. Too bad in the end he did not have the strength to pull the trigger, once again it was you that had to do what was right.
Happy Tday to you and yours and to everyone!
thank you all very much for your kind and supportive responses..this is a hard and difficult process and it looks like its gonna take a few more meetings with the attorney to get this all ironed out so that my son and I are going to be ok for the next few years while I finish this degree.
I am standing firm with him and his attorney on exactly what needs to be done
fair and equitable distribution on the assets and the debts and the child support amount
I dig in my heels and fight for what is right for my son
I walk tall, I am confident, I am strong
then I bawl all the way home in the car
[QUOTE=latebloomingmom;982807313]
he hired an attorney
apparantly he has a change of heart on some of things we had previously agreed upon
like visitation
like child support amount
like who gets to claim our son on taxes
ya ever walk away from talking to someone and come to the realization that they really and truly are the monster that you always thought
they were capable of becoming?[/QUOTE]
Divorce seems to reveal a person's character IMO.
You didn't make a mistake by getting married LBM. People change. Feelings change. You loved him once, but now you don't. Don't beat yourself up.
You're in a transition right now and it totally sucks and the fact that he's being a jerk only adds to the suckiness of the situation.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Keeping you in my prayers. :)
[QUOTE=latebloomingmom;982991693]thank you all very much for your kind and supportive responses..this is a hard and difficult process and it looks like its gonna take a few more meetings with the attorney to get this all ironed out so that my son and I are going to be ok for the next few years while I finish this degree.
I am standing firm with him and his attorney on exactly what needs to be done
fair and equitable distribution on the assets and the debts and the child support amount
I dig in my heels and fight for what is right for my son
I walk tall, I am confident, I am strong
then I bawl all the way home in the car[/QUOTE]
Hugs, darling.
Some kind words and good advice up there.
You will get through this. And be better for it in the end. I am sure of it. :)
Kesha. Who the funk gave her a recording deal?
YES YES YES .. I want one for christmas
I just wish I had 26.600 Korean money to get one
[youtube]8MzzLsJEzR8[/youtube]
[QUOTE=levijay;983156133]Kesha. Who the funk gave her a recording deal?[/QUOTE]
I want to know the same thing about Taylor Swift, seriously. "We're never ever ever.. getting back TOGETHER" i hate that song so much
[QUOTE=zipitlisten;983194393]I want to know the same thing about Taylor Swift, seriously. "We're never ever ever.. getting back TOGETHER" i hate that song so much[/QUOTE]
I love songs like this because they piss everyone else off. I am the worst type of friend to have lol.
[QUOTE=levijay;983156133]Kesha. Who the funk gave her a recording deal?[/QUOTE]
I think I'd rather listen to Kesha than Niki Minaj . . . although that's like deciding whether I'd rather be decapitated slowly with a dull saw or a [u]really[/u] dull saw.
[QUOTE=taf1968;983210783]I think I'd rather listen to Kesha than Niki Minaj . . . although that's like deciding whether I'd rather be decapitated slowly with a dull saw or a [u]really[/u] dull saw.[/QUOTE]
Nicki Minaj I absolutely hate.
One of my coworkers went to her concert earlier this year and said "Oh it sucked, they only played her mainstream songs.."
what?
I didn't realise Nicki Minaj also had a hipster following.
[QUOTE=zipitlisten;983194393]I want to know the same thing about Taylor Swift, seriously. "We're never ever ever.. getting back TOGETHER" i hate that song so much[/QUOTE]
I love that song. I always blast it when it comes on the radio.
[QUOTE=pUniCepts;983226033]I love that song. I always blast it when it comes on the radio.[/QUOTE]
I'm beginning to think you have very commercial taste in music.... ? :)
[QUOTE=Botika;983227123]I'm beginning to think you have very commercial taste in music.... ? :)[/QUOTE]
stop hating
YOU GO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS
TALK TO MY FRIENDS
TALK TO ME
but weeeeeee are never ever everrrrrrr getting back together.