Eating Disorders experience (possible trigger warning)

I have noticed that quite a few people have had an experience with an eating disorder. I would like to hear others' experiences, like when did you struggle the most? What "snapped" you out of it?

I myself struggled with Eating Disorder not otherwise specified for 3 years. I never got to an anorexic weight but I know I lost a significant amount of muscle during those years. With the support of my family and friends, I realized that there is no way one can live like that. Not someone who wants to be active (softball was a big help for me) and in order to get better I needed to get stronger. I still get the wide-eyed look when I see how many calories I eat a day now... I used to eat less than 300 calories "on a good day". I think knowledge is power for me, I keep reading as much as I can about the HEALTHY way so I can make sure I keep the background voice quiet. I've been "healthy" for 10 months now. :)

Sorry so rambley, but I needed to talk about it a bit I guess. :/

hey, congratulations on fixing it all up !

i've never really had any eating disorders but i do binge on food once in a while. today, however, i'm gna stop all of that .. i've put on 5 lbs in the past few weeks or so. =/

Ahh Id like to know this too.

I have suffered from COE for 12 years....... OMG i cant believe its that long. I have been in and out of therapy and nothing has helped. Now I just cant afford it anymore.

Good to hear you are on the mend. What helped for me was family support, and I stopped reading fashion mags and quit comparing myself to other women. I was lifeguarding at the time and it got totally out of hand. I was obsessed with Nutrition and calories and exercise. But I was seriously fading away.
And then I swung the other way with compulsive overeating. I praise God that it is all in the past now. I have been symptom free for about 11 years. It was around the time I started Bodybuilding. It's not a coincidence either.
All the best and keep up the good work!

Thanks for the replies, I think talking about it helps too. I never got "professional help" but that is just because I'm afraid what it would do with my career. Although of course this is not exactly private, I feel more comfortable with talking about it here than at work. Besides, I'm kinda proud of the fact I am beating it. :)
I think the last thing that triggered me was the new fitness standards, I was never a small person and it started to get to me that I couldnt get a perfect score (waist measurement is one of things that they use for your score). But this year I got an even better score because I had energy and muscle to pull off the physical stuff. :)

It's nice not feeling so alone.

I never got professional help or was diagnosed with anything, but I think I would have qualified for ED-NOS, as well.

A couple years ago, I started dieting, and it seemed like the more lost, the more upset with myself I became. I got down to 130, and just wanted to make it to 120. I started eating one meal and running 30-60 minutes a day. I dropped pounds quickly, and was encouraged to the point that I took cold showers and fidgeted constantly. It got to a point were my mindset scared me, and I backed off. That was when I first tried to get into lifting and eating clean. Then life got all too busy, which I know isn't an excuse.

I then gained a lot of weight, up to 160, and felt terrible. I started eating less and less, and started walking miles, but I was working 36-40 hours a week and going to school full-time, and I collapsed every day that I got home. My husband was worried, I couldn't focus, and it wasn't even working; I would lose, but then I would gain again as soon as I ate something. And I could tell I was losing muscle and strength, too.

So my husband basically snapped me out of it.... especially one day when he said that he thought as soon as he had a better job (I'm the main provider for us), maybe I should quit and seek help. The fact that he felt that way really scared me, and I didn't want to be putting us through all of that. So here I am, and I mean to stay this time.

Congratulations to you for getting through it, as well, and realizing that your life and health are more important (And that there are better ways to be happy with yourself).

I'm so happy for you and your progress! It's exactly what I need to read about for my own recovery.

I've been bulimic since I was 15 (I'm 26 now) and finally seeking recovery. I don't think I really had a eureka moment where I decided to stop, it's been an ongoing battle the whole time. I work in a hospital where I see people damage themselves and die from eating disorders, but it didn't stop me from purging, even when I started finding blood in my vomit.

It's like an obsession. So I'm trying to become obsessed with eating right and excercising. So far I've been 4 months purge-free.

What kind of treatment do people find works? Or any natural therapies anyone can recommend?

[QUOTE=jillybeansalad;30065661]I have noticed that quite a few people have had an experience with an eating disorder. I would like to hear others' experiences, like when did you struggle the most? What "snapped" you out of it?

I myself struggled with Eating Disorder not otherwise specified for 3 years. I never got to an anorexic weight but I know I lost a significant amount of muscle during those years. With the support of my family and friends, I realized that there is no way one can live like that. Not someone who wants to be active (softball was a big help for me) and in order to get better I needed to get stronger. I still get the wide-eyed look when I see how many calories I eat a day now... I used to eat less than 300 calories "on a good day". I think knowledge is power for me, I keep reading as much as I can about the HEALTHY way so I can make sure I keep the background voice quiet. I've been "healthy" for 10 months now. :)

Sorry so rambley, but I needed to talk about it a bit I guess. :/[/QUOTE]

This is an excellent threat btw! I dealt with bulimia for over a year, and I must say, it's a horrible thing to go through!!! It makes a person feel ashamed, disgusted, exhausted, and anxious on a daily basis. What snapped ME out of it (as you may read in my Dec. '06 Member of the month interview), was that my nose started bleeding after purging. See, before that had happened...the purging never caused me any real pain or "scares". Until THAT happened. I was so scared, that My heart started pounding so hard... I didn't know what to do. Honestly, I've never been a nose bleeder...cept for when a softball hit me directly IN the nose and BROKE it big time lol. Hurt, yes. But anyways, that scared me...so I decided....This isn't right. I started realizing that my body will be sexy and hott regardless if I have the same shape as some celeb or the same butt as a different celeb. Just because I don't look like some movie star...doesn't mean I wont be hott too after my body is built. I mean, if I take diet/exercise serious, my body will be "perfect" like theirs too. Yanno??? That all just came to my realization one day...especially after the nose bleed incident. I still get scared when I think about that!!! The reason why bulimia is so 'easy' to get addicted to is because you don't SEE any of the problems that it causes...they're all hidden. Hard telling what damage there is to the interior of my body... I don't even wanna know honestly!!! I get scared when I think about all that.

But basically, I just came to a realization that I'm going to look GREAT and sessy as long as I make my body the best that it can be. I also realized that girls like Jamie Eason or Monica Brant DO EAT...In fact, you can't look built like one of those fitness chicks unless you EAT! Haha! And now that I've been on this very strict diet and heavy weight training schedule, my body is looking GREAT. I'm proud of myself.

It is taking me longer than usual to build up muscle and lean out because I had the eating disorder that basically set me back big time on my training and progress. It was awful. Right now, I'm 115lbs and I eat around 1000 to 1500 cals per day and love it! I am Hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and its necessary for me to eat every three hours (smaller meals of course). Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) can cause anxiety in people that can, in turn, cause them to worry...worry...worry... So, I think PART of my low body image from before stemmed from the unattended hypoglycemia(low sugar). The eating disorder caused my body to go in literal FITS if it didn't get sugar when it wanted it... it was a constant insanity...Now that my diet is basically "fine tuned" with ME, I'm happier, healthier, and much much stronger!!! I'm building muscle and leaning out greatly.

If anyone needs advice or wants to talk about eating disorders, please don't hesitate to contact me on here because I think I can offer some excellent advice to u.

Thanks for reading my SUPA long message haha.

hugs hugs ya'll,
Jodi (FNF)

Hey there.
I'm 18, over the past 3 years struggled w/ pretty much every combination of eating disordered behaviors. While still dealing with bulimia on a daily basis, what "snapped me out of it" was the realization that I don't want to still be labeling myself as eating-disordered 10, 5, even 1 year from now. I'd much prefer to be recoverED.
Actually, what got me started with this bodybuilding stuff was the need for a healthy way to cope, with the added benefit of taking off the obscenely large amount of weight I put on bingeing and purging. My weight goal is no longer to "beat" my lowest, waifish weight of 98, but to have a body closer to that of a fitness model, with a healthy, not too high not too low, goal weight.

treatment options?? THERAPY THERAPY THERAPY, inpatient stays if necessary, meeting with a nutritionist, and for me at least, "happy pills" (antidepressants).

<3, kimberly


p.s. good move putting the trigger warning- Something Fishy, anyone?

I had a very strange eating disorder.

I was overweight anyway (had worked at McD's for 5 years, 7 days a week...) - weighed about 145lbs (not much more than now).

My ex was a lanky skinny beanpole and rarely ate. We'd been out and I was starving. By the time we got home I was so humgry I had stomach cramps. Ate toast and it made me feel really sick because I was so hungry. I have a fear of vomiting, but for six months after that, I could barely eat through fear of being sick.

I could drink orange juice, Frosties cereal (but only a handful). 2 types of crisps, steak pie filling (but only a bit) and a third of a pack of noodles. I lived on this for 6 months and went down to 8 stone (112lbs)

I went to the doctors about it, and all they said was that I had excess acid, gave me drugs and told me that with a BMI of 22, I was in perfect health.

Riiiiight....I actually felt weak and dizzy all the time and I looked awful. I had bones showing and I looked gaunt, but the charts said I was fine, so the doctors weren't worried.

In fact I spent every day feeling dizzy and disorientated because my blood pressure was far too low. It wasn't nice.

I have no idea why, but one day I was round a friends (who had seen me go through all this), and she'd cooked pasta. I suddenly realised my appetite had come back and I really fancied some. I had a tiny bowl of pasta, and after that, I ate more and more till I got chunky again :D I did live on cheese and crackers for a bit too....

[QUOTE=dissolved girl;30313971]I'm so happy for you and your progress! It's exactly what I need to read about for my own recovery.

I've been bulimic since I was 15 (I'm 26 now) and finally seeking recovery. I don't think I really had a eureka moment where I decided to stop, it's been an ongoing battle the whole time. I work in a hospital where I see people damage themselves and die from eating disorders, but it didn't stop me from purging, even when I started finding blood in my vomit.

It's like an obsession. So I'm trying to become obsessed with eating right and excercising. So far I've been 4 months purge-free.[/QUOTE]


Yeah, for me I think it was a competition thing. [i]I could control my eating and hunger. I could control my body. I could be better than everyone else. I could be in more control and more determined.[/i]

Now I can focus it on healthier things. I focus more on playing softball, working out hard and eating [u]well[/u]. That I think was the key for me to get better.

[QUOTE=FitNFiesty;30365151]This is an excellent threat btw! I dealt with bulimia for over a year, and I must say, it's a horrible thing to go through!!! It makes a person feel ashamed, disgusted, exhausted, and anxious on a daily basis. What snapped ME out of it (as you may read in my Dec. '06 Member of the month interview), was that my nose started bleeding after purging. See, before that had happened...the purging never caused me any real pain or "scares". Until THAT happened. I was so scared, that My heart started pounding so hard... I didn't know what to do. Honestly, I've never been a nose bleeder...cept for when a softball hit me directly IN the nose and BROKE it big time lol. Hurt, yes. But anyways, that scared me...so I decided....This isn't right. I started realizing that my body will be sexy and hott regardless if I have the same shape as some celeb or the same butt as a different celeb. Just because I don't look like some movie star...doesn't mean I wont be hott too after my body is built. I mean, if I take diet/exercise serious, my body will be "perfect" like theirs too. Yanno??? That all just came to my realization one day...especially after the nose bleed incident. I still get scared when I think about that!!! The reason why bulimia is so 'easy' to get addicted to is because you don't SEE any of the problems that it causes...they're all hidden. Hard telling what damage there is to the interior of my body... I don't even wanna know honestly!!! I get scared when I think about all that.

But basically, I just came to a realization that I'm going to look GREAT and sessy as long as I make my body the best that it can be. I also realized that girls like Jamie Eason or Monica Brant DO EAT...In fact, you can't look built like one of those fitness chicks unless you EAT! Haha! And now that I've been on this very strict diet and heavy weight training schedule, my body is looking GREAT. I'm proud of myself.

It is taking me longer than usual to build up muscle and lean out because I had the eating disorder that basically set me back big time on my training and progress. It was awful. Right now, I'm 115lbs and I eat around 1000 to 1500 cals per day and love it! I am Hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) and its necessary for me to eat every three hours (smaller meals of course). Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) can cause anxiety in people that can, in turn, cause them to worry...worry...worry... So, I think PART of my low body image from before stemmed from the unattended hypoglycemia(low sugar). The eating disorder caused my body to go in literal FITS if it didn't get sugar when it wanted it... it was a constant insanity...Now that my diet is basically "fine tuned" with ME, I'm happier, healthier, and much much stronger!!! I'm building muscle and leaning out greatly.

If anyone needs advice or wants to talk about eating disorders, please don't hesitate to contact me on here because I think I can offer some excellent advice to u.

Thanks for reading my SUPA long message haha.

hugs hugs ya'll,
Jodi (FNF)[/QUOTE]
I am too in recovery from anorexia of 16 years. I have experienced a significant loss of muscle I am 5'0 and currently weigh 97lbs. I was a mere 67 and a mere 75 within the last 5 years. I consume 1750 calories a day and at times I feel that isn't enough, but am scarred to increase anymore. I see others consuming 1500 or less and training, but how do you all do it?? I don't have the strength to get a great workout on anything less. I eat smaller meals too. My first is t 6:15am, 2nd 9:30am, 3rd 12pm, 4th 3pm, 5th 6pm, and 6th 9pm. My 2,4,6th are my snacks.

might as well jump in here. i was hospitalized with anorexia in the summer of 2005. i didn't want to be and was planning on losing weight again as soon as i got out.

well, it didn't happen. i went from in patient straight to college, actually started college a week late and also missed freshman orientation. to be able to attend i had to sign a contract with the college saying i'd maintain a healthy weight and eating habits.

at the beginning of this year, my sophomore year, i got off contract and thought about going back to restricting, but didn't. i love lifting too much. even though i still lifted when i was at my lowest weight, it was nothing like it is now.

sometimes i look back at the pictures and wish i could wear a child's size 8 again, but then i think about how much better i supposedly look now. and some days, i can actually see that.

i was a compulsive overeater at 11, then bulimic, then anorexic. i'm 19 now.

i am yet recovering from anorexia nervosa. i am 5'1", 90 lbs. my lowest bmi was 13.2 and my period had stopped.

i discovered that in 'starvation mode' (your body is conditioned to absence of food), your body eats up your muscles and body organ because it didnt get enough food. the concept of 'eating myself' made me feel horrible and i started eating more and compensating (or else, over-compensating) it with exercises.

however that way i start seeing exercises and eating as needs, instead of 'luxury' and 'punishment' :-)

well I have had an eating disorder not otherwise specified for almost 2 and a half years....I used to only eat 300 or less calories now up up to 800 or 900 and I am deathly afraid to go over that still...I eat small meals throughout the day but I'll only eat foods that I can read the calorie content on like oatmeal and cereal nothing else maybe I'll have carrots and applesauce...I work out everyday too now that I eat more...but I can tell I'm still in starvation mode b/c I'm doing all this work and not loseing any weight which sucks...I do believe I need to eat more and exercise the same...But I'm scared to gain weight to the point that I cry if i even think about eating more...o god someone please tell me to just eat more and keep exerciseing and that I'll be okay :(

Wow, it's deja vu for me to read all these posts. Several years ago, I was in an extremely abusive relationship. I came to the conclusion that the reason he was horrible to me was because I had gained a few (10) pounds. I first started purging. This was so difficult, as I don't have any sort of gag reflex. I decided to almost quit eating, started to run 6 miles every morning. Every evening I would run two more and attempt to lift weights. Seriously, this was a typical day of eating:
Breakfast-one piece of lunchmeat turkey with a few greenbeans.
All Snacks- greenbeans
Lunch-One egg white
Dinner-1/4 of a protein bar
The result was horrifying. I dropped from a healthy 119 down to my lowest at 92 pounds. I was emaciated, but I thought I still had more to lose. It was all I could think about. It was an obsession.
What broke me initially but only partially from it, was seeing a pic of me in a bathing suit. I have implants (obviously), and between them, I could see my ribs. Each one. I doubled my calories (whoop-de-do! that made it about 400) and gained five pounds. Absolute anguish for me. I cried, I obsessed some more, and then it got easier.
I started to hear compliments again, which motivated me.
I still deal with this. It would be so easy for me to jump back to it, but ultimately, I want to be healthy. It's not fun to be cranky, sick, and ....well, just too damn skinny! I looked gross!