Weather and passive agressive "compliments"

I might cry cuz I just typed a big thing and it got erased garrrr!

So the weather has been glorious enough this wknd to wear tank tops and short dresses and I have never in my life caught so many passive agressive "compliments". My sisters yelled at me for not ordering a size small top like them I wanted a medium, BILs gf complimented me but then make self deprocating comments so I felt kinda ****ty, then my dogs Vet said "as most of us get older our metabolism slows down but I see you don't have that prob" I told her I work very hard!

Should I resign myself to the fact that there will be no such thing as a genuine compliment anymore? Everyone seems to be so undercutting and passive agressive it sux a big one.

Do yall seem to get more negativity during the warm months since your work is more visible? Do you have any positive comebacks or tips on how to deal with it cuz its gonna get old real quick and I might get snappy.

Also pls share any similar recent stories.

Judging from some other things you've said, I think your worst critic is you. I think that anytime you get a compliment, you subconsciously think it's an insult or that it's not genuine or that they have ulterior motives and don't actually mean it.

W/that said, it won't matter how awesome your physique gets. You'll never be happy with it. First thing you need to do is really think and figure out if what I'm saying is true. If it is, you need to figure out why you think that way.

I'm not saying this to be mean or anything. It's just that a lot of people dont realize they're doing this and once they do, they start to change for the better.

here's my favorite
"you really dont look your age" :)
yep dont act it either :D

or
"you look good for your age"
or
"you dont look like a typical 40 something year old should look"
uhmm...what would that be exactly??

I think with such a high percentage of Americans being severely over weight and out of shape, when they see someone bettering themselves and looking good it immediately makes them take a look at what they're doing or not doing. Which IMO causes the rude remarks or back handed compliments. It makes them feel a little better to knock someone down.
Don't let them get to you.

Agree with Keltron. When the world's against you, something's up. I often hear "wow, I didn't look like THAT 5 months after a baby", I think "thanks, I bused my ass" and walk away feeling good. I think your perception is a bit off?

No one has ever been rude enough to say something awful to my face. I get a lot of complements, most of which actually come from women.

I agree with Sonti and Keltron. I think you're twisting things on yourself. Don't get me wrong, I know that there are a good amount of people that will give you back handed compliments, but I don't think EVERYONE who compliments you is doing it.

I hear weekly "you obviously don't know what it's like to be fat" or "must be nice to be naturally skinny" not knowing I use to be well over 200. Use to defend myself by telling them about my past and what I do to keep from going back. But now I just say yep it's awesome! I love going out all night, and eating everything I want is awesome!! And you will NEVER catch me in the gym! lol I gave up caring forever ago. ;)

Here's how you should handle your sisters the next time this happens.

Run over to your sister, doesn't matter which, put her over your shoulders and begin squatting her for reps.

When you're done, throw her onto your other sister and yell [b]"It's still your mother fu@kin' set!!!"[/b]

After this, your sisters will begin to leave you the hell alone.

[QUOTE=Keltron;1048998321]Judging from some other things you've said, I think your worst critic is you. I think that anytime you get a compliment, you subconsciously think it's an insult or that it's not genuine or that they have ulterior motives and don't actually mean it.

W/that said, it won't matter how awesome your physique gets. You'll never be happy with it. First thing you need to do is really think and figure out if what I'm saying is true. If it is, you need to figure out why you think that way.

I'm not saying this to be mean or anything. It's just that a lot of people dont realize they're doing this and once they do, they start to change for the better.[/QUOTE]

All honesty I do think I look good and I've always been plenty confident but sometimes I might make a negative comment about myself to either a. Make the person feel better or b. Say something negative before someone else has a chance to. The more optimistic the bigger the fall when things go wrong so i prefer to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I've been depressed off and on since my miscarriage so its been a lot of ups and downs. I guess it upsets me that I get compliments from ppl who don't matter to me rather than ppl that do.

And no its not the whole world...I got a completely respectable compliment from my physical therapy guy who said I would be perfect to get into strongman if I wanted....now thats a meaningful one that made my day!

Wish I had [i]that[/i] problem.









Kidding! :) Like Keltron said, it is your perception. Don't worry too much about people's ulterior motives behind the compliments. I would ignore them, thank them for the compliment, and move on.

[QUOTE=SultanaK;1049061161]Wish I had [i]that[/i] problem.[/quote]

LOL. I signed in just to say this. :)

Also, OP-

Sorry about your miscarriage. Maybe it's partially hormonal, what you're going through right now?

Could be your perception.

Or maybe this is good advice:

[img]http://media-cache-ec6.pinterest.com/upload/135952482471001735_6hisvlXS_b.jpg[/img]

:D

Thx Sultana. I don't disagree with anything yall said except that I am not happy with my physique. I am very pleased with my body and the work I've done this past year. Any negative comments I make are to keep the Debbie Downers at bay...they cant say anything if I say it first.

LOL Una

Maybe I am hormonal...better check my calendar lol.

My MC was a while ago back in Nov but the reason it hurt me so bad was DH said he wanted another then when I wanted to try he denied ever saying that and laughed that he mustve been drunk but Nov I ended up getting pg anyway since we do pull and pray. I was devastated that was my only shot.

I consider the backhanded comments the applause of the jealous, or the ignorant.


Part of the beauty of growing physically, is that we also have to grow emotionally.

[QUOTE=Cara0915;1049028081]I think with such a high percentage of Americans being severely over weight and out of shape, when they see someone bettering themselves and looking good it immediately makes them take a look at what they're doing or not doing. Which IMO causes the rude remarks or back handed compliments. It makes them feel a little better to knock someone down.
Don't let them get to you.[/QUOTE]
Couldnt put it any better than this......