Losing the fat, not the muscle!

Need to keep myself accountable, so thought I'd keep a log in tandem with the fat loss comp (01 Jan - 01 Apr).
This will help me keep track of my daily calorie intake and any workouts.
I've tried ( and failed ) many times to diet alone (using mfp log/paper log). But I keep kidding myself. It doesn't help that I suffer from an eating disorder, but I'm seeking treatment and remain hopeful that I will get rid of this horrible trait.
I will try and upload pictures (fugly) on a weekly basis.

Will try and take in 2000 calories a day (10 x bw). Will tweak this after a few days.
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Starting weight (31st Dec): 200.42 lbs (in clothes)
Goal weight: 154-165 lbs, would like to lose 15-20 lbs during the time of the competition (which seems very do-able).

Today's weight (03 Jan): 191.4 lbs. Crazy water weight.
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Workout: Wasn't too bad. Cutting down on volume but trying to keep intensity up.

Squats: 147kg 1x8 (sets x reps).
Incline: 34kg 1x8, 1x6
Rows: 75kg 2x8
RDLs: 155kg 2x8

Lots of foam rolling. Just a touch over the target of 2000 calories.

BW = 189.4 lbs

Cardio - 20 mins on bike, burnt ~300 cals.

Incline Cable Flies [2x8 (20 stack)] superset with rear delts [2x10 (8 stack)]

Hyperextensions - green band and 25kg barbell 2x8

Tricep Pushdowns 1x10, 1x8 - 27.5 stack

Curls superset with weighted crunches.

Food wise up until then was ~ 1300 cals.
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Went out for drinks, had far too many, lost count. Stuck with gin/vodka + diet mixers (except for 1 cheeky pina colada). Remember on my way home, I had a few slices of pizza, an happy meal and lots of chocolate in the house :@!

Very hungover, time to get back on track but i've already consumed a lot of rubbish!

Felt pretty horrible before workout, despite having 2 coffees and half of a banana. Still hit my target number of reps so can't complain.

BW = 191.6 lbs.

Squats: 147kg 1x8

OHP: 60kg 1x8

RDL: 157.5kg 2x8

Lat Pulldown 82kg 3x5

Cable flies 20 1x8 ss rear delts.

Back extensions (GB +25kg) 1x8 ss abs (+20kg) 1x6, 1x8

~1961 calories.

EDIT: 07 Jan, unfortunately had more, binged on "clean" food.

Target for today is ~1913

Diet has been shocking as of late. Been sticking to my calorie allotment for a few hours whilst I'm at the library, but as soon as I go home and see food my mother has prepared, it's a dangerzone. I have one bite, think I've blown everything and can't help binging and throwing up to try and recover any glimmer of hope! Need to sort this out for my health sake, never mind to be lean.

Anyway, yesterday I did a few upper work.

Rows: 75kg 2x8
Incline bench: 32x1x8, 1x6 (Just could not get the 34kg ones up - wut?!!?)
Chest flies 20 - 1x8 ss Rear Delts 8 - 1x8
Triceps 27,5 - 1x8 ss Hammer Curls - 16kg 1x8

Time to get back on track seriously!

Pretty terrible session surprisingly. Just felt really weak, especially during squats.

Squats: 147.5kg 1x6
RDLs: 157.5kg 2x8
Lateral Raises (10kg) 1x10 ss Face Pulls (15) 1x10
Back extensions (green band +25kg) 8 [although 2-3 reps were pretty ****ty] ss crunches (20kg) 1x10

~1800 calories today.

Bah, shot myself in the foot again. Got home last night and no idea what came over me, but ended up binging again. That's like 4-5 days in a row. Is this **** for real?!

Anyway upper today. Was meant to incline bench but loads of NY resolution folk were in and took them all over. Pressed instead :/

Press: 62kg 1x5, 1x3
Chin Ups: BW 2x8

Tricep pushdown 1x10 27.5
EZ Curlz: 1x10 32.5kg
Cable flies 1x8 22kg ss rear delts

Would not be suprised if my weekly weigh in tomorrow shows a massive gain from last weeks reading.

Squats: 147kg 1x6
RDLs: 160kg 2x8

Face pulls / Lateral Raises
Back Extensions (Green band +25kg) 1x6
Crunches (20kg) 1x10

Squatting on the platform so the FEAR was creeping in. Didn't take any caffeine this morning so may have affected strength.
Also, despite my inconsistent food intake and sleep pattern, I have dropped ~2 lbs. Not much but I'll take it :)!

1977 cals on monday
1984 cals on tuesday.

Need to stop weighing myself on a daily basis, no change between today and yesterday. Gutted!

Squats: 147kg 1x7
RDL: 160kg 2x8

Lateral Raises: 1x10 10kg
Face PUlls: 1x10 17.5

Back extensions (Green band+25kg): 1x8
Crunches: +20kg 1x10

Pretty pleased that I managed this in just over half an hour..

Incline Bench: 32kg 2x8
Cable flies: 22 1x5, 20 1x4 (left pec felt quite sore)
Rear delts: 8 2x8
Tricep Pushdowns: 30 1x10
Chest supported rows: 82kg 2x8
Curls: 10kg 1x10

Yesterday: ~1984 cals
Today: ~1919 cals

Pretty poor sleep and felt lethargic in general. Weighed in at ~185.6 lbs (-14.4 lbs) dry this morning.

Squats: 147kg 1x6

Lateral Raises: 12kg 1x10
Face pulls: 17.5 1x10

RDLs: 160kg 1x8

Back extensions (green band +25kg): 1x6
Crunches (+22kg) 1x10

Felt totally gassed after the one set of RDLs..Also had to use the 15kg Women's WL bar for squatting which felt very awkward to say the least.

Been feeling some strong hunger pangs as of late, consumed ~1950 cals yesterday.

Terrible binge last night. I was in a deficit at the time and had quite a few calories to spare (as I hadn't taken fish oil which is ~108 cals). I decided to have a pear instead, but that soon led to two banananas, to 500g of oats, several scoops of whey, tons of PB and jam, lots of icing sugar, pasta, rice, noodles ... list is endless. Threw up several times to try and rectify the situation, how embarrassing!
Mote to self, don't return home so early that you have time to binge and hit the hay instantly!!

Despite this, I woke up lighter this morning - Wot?! :)
Plan is to eat high protein (egg white powder / whey protein ), green veg ( ~40g fibre) and the essential n-3 fats.

Workout today

Press: 61kg 1x7, 1x5
Lat Pulldown: 82kg 1x8, 75kg 1x8
Cable Flies: 18 1x10
Rear Delts: 6 2x10
Curls: 12kg 1x8
Triceps: 27.5 1x10

Pretty good workout, number on the scales is dropping consistently (weighed 182 lbs this morning)and still hitting the same no.s in the gym :)

Squats: 147kg 1x8
RDL: 160kg 1x8
Lateral Raise: 12kg 1x10
Face Pull: 20 1x10
Low Back: + green band +25kg 1x8
Abs: +26kg 1x10

Monday 1947 cals
Tuesday 1950 cals
Today 1953 cals

OHP: 61kg 1x8, 1x3, 1x5 (had I rest longer, would i have been able to get all 8 reps in the second set?)

Lat Pulldowns: 82kg 2x8

Cable Flies: 20 1x8
Rear Delts: 6 2x8

Skulls and Curlz for the Gurlz to finish.

Thought I'd upload progress pictures, since a month has almost past. Plus, I said I would earlier as it might keep me more determined and motivated (not that there are no other reasons for being this way).

Also, weighed in just over 180, so that's almost 20 lb loss in 4 weeks (obviously most if not all = water loss..). But I've had no motive or thought to binge or purge lately. Happy days.

Tweaked my hamstring during my squat warm up, so probably wasn't in my best interest to push it. Couldn't help it though :s!

Squats: 148kg 1x5
RDLs: 161kg 1x8
Face Pulls: 20 1x10
Lateral Raises: 14kg 1x10
Back Extensions: with green band and 25kg barbell - 1x10
Crunches: +30kg 1x10.

Pretty shocking weekend. Blowing my diet and being unproductive in general.

Press: 62kg 1x5. 60kg 1x5
Lat Pulldowns: 82kg 2x8
Chest flies: 18: 1x9
Rear Delts: 2x10
Triceps and curls.

Time to get back on track.

Considering I foolishly decided to undergo a 24 hour fast yesterday, I can't be too upset with today's workout

Squats: 147.5kg 1x6 (forgot my micro plates)
RDLs: 160kg 1x7

Make shift face pulls: 1x12
Lateral Raises: 16kg 1x8

Back raises: 27.5kg + green band 1x8
Abs: 34kg 1x10

Pretty rank sleep and workout but oh well..

Press; 62kg 1x4, 60kg 1x4
Lat Pulldown: 84kg 2x8
Cable flies: 1x8 18
Rear Delts: 2x8
Skulls and curls to finish (25kg 1x8)

This week has been an absolutely write off (wrt fat loss) which started even before last weeks weigh-in. Last night was no exception, ate **** loads of crap (yoghurt pots, lots of bread slathered in chocolate spread, cereal, homemade protein bars) bleh...completely undoing 3 weeks of excellent work. Why am I self-sabotaging myself? This must make painful reading for those interested!

Decided not to squat today because I just felt so bloated from the carby binge.

Deadlifts: 200kg x1, 180kg x4
Leg Press: 150kg (plate weight, not sure what the foot pad thing weighs). 1x10
Lateral raises: 16kg 1x10
Face pulls: 1x12 20?
Back extensions: green band +30kg 1x8
Crunch: +36kg 1x8 (might start doing these on a decline bench, feeling slightly cautious about having a heavy dumbbell on my sternum...)

Surprisingly good one today.

Press: 62kg x6 (Pull Ups bw x8), Press 62 x4 (Chin Ups bwx8)
Lat Pulldown 85kg 1x8
Skull crushers
Curls
Flies and rear delts

Gained weight this week unsurpringly. Need to get back to it.

Not updated this in a while. Strength is still there

Squats: 147.5kg 1x6
RDLs: 162.5kg 1x8
Lateral Raises: 18kg 1x8
Face Pulls
Back Raises
Abs
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With regards to weight loss, this week has been an abomination. Today has been a decent day, so onwards and upwards.