I lied to my wife. sad one.
some of you know that she has stage 4 cancer. she just finished a round of chemo in mid-july. the doc wanted to take a break before switching to another chemo. the start of the new chemo would depend on the tumors and if they are growing.
she has had many CT scans, but recently the doc wanted a PET scan. Well, you cannot compare the 2. A CT is a bunch of slices that you look at and mostly look for what is there and then make estimates. PET is a 3D image, it's pretty exact.
Tuesday, the results came back. He wasn't happy, but didn't say anything. He just indicated that we needed a blood test to look for CEA. I forget what that is, but normal is 5. Above 5, means you "probably" have cancer, or if you already have cancer, any reading higher than your previous "probably" means your cancer is growing.
Well, the PET showed big tumors. He didn't say it. But I figured it out. I asked him over the phone today if that was why he was unhappy. I guessed that he was hoping that the tumors were just bigger than he thought, the worse possibility is that they are growing.
The previous CEA was 21 (down from 32, and 37 before that and a reading of much higher from before that). This reading was 40.4, almost double. That confirms the bad news. the tumors are growing.
Well, we are going on vacation tomorrow. I consulted with my sister, one of our best friends, and a guy who's wife died form cancer last month. I decided to lie. I told her there was a foul up and they didn't have the results yet. they would call when they got them.
She knows I lied, but I am sticking to it. Any doubt in her mind is good. I just want her to enjoy the vacation and not think about it. I have to tell her friday night, next week, when we get home.
I've never lied to her before (well, except when I buy things - which are usually for her)
No different than when you buy something for her and hide it.
First of all Prayers are with you and your wife. Second, you just gave her a gift more precious than what you could buy and hide from her. I am so sorry to hear of your wife's illness. It is so clear that you love her dearly. I will be praying for joy and happiness for you and your family at this troubling time.