Just for fun, how ridiculously over-functional can you get?

I used to work out w/my fitness manager and he was starting to get into all of that stuff. I was slowling veering from working out w/him and just going at it by myself but I totally called it quits the day he brought a dumbell to the pulley machines and did a tricep pushdown w/one arm while simultanously doing a dumbbell curl w/the other arm lol. So share some of the most outrageous things youve seen and also see how ridiculous of an example you can think of:

Lunge to curl to press to lateral raise then when that gets easy you progress them by having them do the same thing while on a water bed or while sinking in quick sand. Then from there you shoot paintballs at them to challenge their core strength.


Push ups w/left foot in the air, your right foot balancing on a golf ball on the toe, your right finger in your nose and your left hand in a bucket of water filled with piranhas.

The one where guys are doing push-ups where all four limbs are on a Swiss Ball is pretty good.

The funniest one I ever saw a trainer doing with a client was a kettlebell swing - while jumping - on a BOSU. Mostly because the client lost it and went flying when the kettlebell carried her off of the BOSU and into the power rack they were in front of. Momentum anyone?

Damn, I'm under 50 post still. There's a thread in "Post your own Articles" titled "High Tech Workouts." I think that's ridiculous.

There is nothing functional about stupid exercises.

[QUOTE=ericmackcarter;988964173]There is nothing functional about stupid exercises.[/QUOTE]Even if it's done on a tight rope!?!?!?

I no longer consider myself as a body builder but more of a olybuilder. I warm up for deadlifts with power cleans and progress to clean pulls thn DL.

I snatch on bench days to get my cns to wake up and over head squat while warming up for back squat.

Bigger stronger faster than I ever was bodybuilding

At the studio I used to work at I saw a lot of dumb shyt...

One of my favorites was watching the burpee/clean & press with a bosu ball.

[QUOTE=Bowtiejeep;988984793]I no longer consider myself as a body builder but more of a olybuilder. I warm up for deadlifts with power cleans and progress to clean pulls thn DL.

I snatch on bench days to get my cns to wake up and over head squat while warming up for back squat.

Bigger stronger faster than I ever was bodybuilding[/QUOTE]Umm that all sounds cool (srs) but what does it have to do w/what we're talking about here?

[QUOTE=foodandfitness;988986853]At the studio I used to work at I saw a lot of dumb shyt...

One of my favorites was watching the burpee/clean & press with a bosu ball.[/QUOTE]Burpee/CnP doesn't sound too crazy w/o the bosu though. But Im a bit confused.. so instead of a barbell they were using a bosu ball? Or they were doing clean and press w/a barbell but on a bosu??

My favorite are the guys with 5lb dumbbells doing overhead presses for an hour. While riding the exercise bike. They said they were doing metabolic work. They weren't interested in my spiel so I just said "let me know if you ever have any questions"

I've seen a PT put a woman on all fours on a swiss ball, he had to hover around her for when she tumbled I think she was supposed to be progressing to a bird-dog on it.

Hands on bench, feet on inverted bosu ball, row dumbbell to shoulder.

Both hands, both feet on medicine balls for a 1/16th range of motion pushup.

Cable row and reverse lunge with front foot on bosu.

I don't like to imagine anything worse. One of the rules of the internet is that if you imagine some absurd kind of porn, that imagining brings a webpage dedicated to it into existence. I think the same is true of stupid exercises.

[QUOTE=Keltron;988993533]Umm that all sounds cool (srs) but what does it have to do w/what we're talking about here?

[/QUOTE]

You don't think power cleans are functional? LOL

[QUOTE=Bowtiejeep;988984793]I no longer consider myself as a body builder but more of a olybuilder. I warm up for deadlifts with power cleans and progress to clean pulls thn DL.

I snatch on bench days to get my cns to wake up and over head squat while warming up for back squat.

Bigger stronger faster than I ever was bodybuilding[/QUOTE] I wouldn't really call that over-functional, I'd call that JUST RIGHT!! lol , I used to do the same thing when I was more into oly lifting, Its a good way to get speed work etc. in

Bowtiejeep, this thread isn't about stuff that actually serves a function, it's about the so-called "functional" training that idiots put their clients through which serves no logical purpose whatsoever and is thoroughly ridonculous.
[QUOTE=WoofieNugget;988866843]The one where guys are doing push-ups where all four limbs are on a Swiss Ball is pretty good.

The funniest one I ever saw a trainer doing with a client was a kettlebell swing - while jumping - on a BOSU. Mostly because the client lost it and went flying when the kettlebell carried her off of the BOSU and into the power rack they were in front of. Momentum anyone?[/QUOTE]
So, the kettlebell pulled her into the power rack. I think it was trying to tell her something.

Once upon a time, I got the idea to do, as 1 total rep: 1 squat, 1 lunge on the right leg, 1 squat, 1 lunge on the left leg; and do that for reps. There was a barbell on the back instead of juggling a medicine ball, a kettlebell and an octopus for added weight, and it was performed on solid ground instead of standing with each foot on a seperate fitball, so it wasn't entirely retarded, and it was actually pretty intense as cardio work, but not something I've ever felt was worth doing again.

Dumbest exercise I've seen. Hold a pair of 3lb dumbell and stand at one end of the basketbal court. Now goose-walk like a nazi, and do the YMCA thingy with your arms. Dead serious.

[QUOTE=Bowtiejeep;989138733]You don't think power cleans are functional? LOL[/QUOTE]
Just curious. Why do you have [url]www.bodybuilding.com[/url] in your sig line? That's like having your own name tattooed on your arm.

Kipping pull ups.

Nuff said.

[QUOTE=KyleAaron;989087333]I
I don't like to imagine anything worse. One of the rules of the internet is that if you imagine some absurd kind of porn, that imagining brings a webpage dedicated to it into existence. I think the same is true of stupid exercises.[/QUOTE]
Lol, maybe I should delete this thread. I wouldn't be surprised if what we thought of as assinine workouts that were thought up just to be funny would be viewed as cool ideas by someone else.
[QUOTE=Bowtiejeep;989138733]You don't think power cleans are functional? LOL[/QUOTE]Seeing as how I olympic lift myself to the point where I have my own coach and I have most of my clients do them, yes I think power cleans are damn functional.

[QUOTE=rdferguson;989167823]Bowtiejeep, this thread isn't about stuff that actually serves a function, it's about the so-called "functional" training that idiots put their clients through which serves no logical purpose whatsoever and is thoroughly ridonculous.

So, the kettlebell pulled her into the power rack. I think it was trying to tell her something.

Once upon a time, I got the idea to do, as 1 total rep: 1 squat, 1 lunge on the right leg, 1 squat, 1 lunge on the left leg; and do that for reps. There was a barbell on the back instead of juggling a medicine ball, a kettlebell and an octopus for added weight, and it was performed on solid ground instead of standing with each foot on a seperate fitball, so it wasn't entirely retarded, and it was actually pretty intense as cardio work, but not something I've ever felt was worth doing again.[/QUOTE]You should've hung an octopus from each collar of the barbell.

[QUOTE=NorwichGrad;989176243]
Just curious. Why do you have [url]www.bodybuilding.com[/url] in your sig line? That's like having your own name tattooed on your arm.[/QUOTE]LOL! I also thought that was weird.

[QUOTE=USAWTitan;989181063]Kipping pull ups.

Nuff said.[/QUOTE]Let me guess, you think they're "cheating!"
Imagine if you were doing push presses or push jerks and someone said you were cheating because of the dip and drive. Also, what if you were doing clean high pulls and a bodybuilder walked up to you and said, "dude, you're totally using momentum on those upright rows.. you're not gonna build any real muscle by cheating like that."

[QUOTE=KyleAaron;989087333]I've seen a PT put a woman on all fours on a swiss ball, he had to hover around her for when she tumbled I think she was supposed to be progressing to a bird-dog on it.

Hands on bench, feet on inverted bosu ball, row dumbbell to shoulder.

Both hands, both feet on medicine balls for a 1/16th range of motion pushup.

Cable row and reverse lunge with front foot on bosu.

I don't like to imagine anything worse. [b]One of the rules of the internet is that if you imagine some absurd kind of porn, that imagining brings a webpage dedicated to it into existence.[/b] I think the same is true of stupid exercises.[/QUOTE]


Rule 34 must be what your thinking of.

Octopi for weights on the barbell. I'll take consideration of that for next time. If I can find two octopi that each weight 23.75kg, this should suit my bench press tomorrow just fine.

The kipping pull ups comment just reminded me, the other day I saw a lifting video that was 5 min of greatness, with a random 5 sec of dubbya-tee-eff in the middle when the girl, after doing plenty of good things like C+J, did kipping handstand push ups. Maybe there's something I'm not understanding, but I see no way in which handstand push ups benefit from kipping. That further reminded me of a video I saw once upon a time that was a deliberate piss-take, in which the guys kipped everything. EVERYTHING. Kipping squats FTW.

Supposedly Rule 34 itself is one of the few things that is not subject to Rule 34, but I'm sure someone's figured out a way around that to make it work.