am i doing something stupid

[joshrain]

ok this is long but please bare with me, i need help.

alright the story is like this. i've been dating this girl for 3 months now. i've been the nicest person ever to her, i've honestly done things for this girl that people have never done for their wives of long term marriages. basically i did this all because i really liked this girl and wanted to have a good relationship with her. so i did everything in my power to make sure i am the greatest person i can possibly be. now, we started dating in the summer, and everything was great because we had lots of time to spend together, and we basically were together all the time, those wer happy times :) .

when we returned to school, i started to notice a change in her personality. a normal couple would enjoy spendind time with each other and generally just being sort of close at times. but for some damn reason she isnt like this. she doesnt seem to want to spend time with me at school, she doesnt wait for me, so we can walk the halls together, and does not do all the small things like this all day, that make it seem as if shes trying to ignore me. she also chooses to talk with friends and spend more time with them, than she does with me. some days she will completely not talk to me at all. in order for us to even say a word, i have to walk over to her and initaite some sort of small talk conversation. and with time i began to realize that all of our talking and being close and such has to be initiated by me in order for it to happen. so basically im saying that it is a one sided relationship. and it has been like this since the begining. i've done everything in this relationship.

now, this is where my problem comes in... i thought i would act like her, and make it seem like i didnt care about this relationship anymore. i would ignore her, walk past her, and basically do all the things she does to me. now she kind of hints at the fact that this is upsetting her, and i think shes getting a feeling that im going to break up with her. so what im saying is my little plan didnt work, and caused thisngs to get worse. now i really like this girlm and i know the person that she "can" be is a great and amazing person. out of school, and when im alone with her im completely in love with her. we are great together. but lately this school relationship seems to ****ing everything up. so i need some advice into this matter, should i go back to being the nice guy that i was, and try to fix this relationship, or should i go a different route. please help.

[Anabolik]

Yea, you have put the pussy on a pedestal. You treated her like royalty and now she expects it all the time without her having to do anything to get that attention. Sounds like you got too attached and made her your whole life. Don't forget to live your own life and be "unavailable" to her some of the time.

[joshrain]

Yea, you have put the pussy on a pedestal. You treated her like royalty and now she expects it all the time without her having to do anything to get that attention. Sounds like you got too attached and made her your whole life. Don't forget to live your own life and be "unavailable" to her some of the time.

thats what i thought i did. feck. thanks for the reply. anyone else???

[Right U R Ken]

Yeah, you were' "too nice" You may even have blown the relationship because of it. Not you're fault really, that's jsut how many gilrs are. Don't be afraid to go after a new girl. Hell that act alone might get your girls attention and change her attitude.

[Hubbard]

Tell her, be like I somewhat put on a mask and the guy you may have fallen for isn't the true me, this is the true me if you want to try to make something of it then let's do that if not then still be friends it's just high school from teh sounds of it

[joshrain]

yah high school. im gonna give this relationship another chance. acting just as who i am. if she doesn't like who i am than, i'll end it, and find a girl who likes me for what i am, and not for the things i do for her.and i think you guys are right. being too nice was probably what messed my relationship.

[BIGDUBBDEISEL]

your ****ed..

[crimsonanger]

Maybe she found out you ****ed your teacher?

[abezyana]

You seem too clingy. Girls don't like that.

[pvdude]

Yea, you have put the pussy on a pedestal. You treated her like royalty and now she expects it all the time without her having to do anything to get that attention. Sounds like you got too attached and made her your whole life. Don't forget to live your own life and be "unavailable" to her some of the time.

That sounds like its it. Either that or shes embarasse of you or something. Have you tried talking to her?

[xtraswole]

you made her high maintenance, now she wants the attention...

you never can put a girl on a pedastal or youll never be happy

[kamis]

I demand cliffnotes.

[ExtremeEnigma]

I demand cliffnotes.

guy kisses girls ass.
they had good times at first.
now shes bored of him and ignores him sometimes.
guy goes emo and posts on bb.com.

^^pretty standard relationship help thread.

[caramon]

when we returned to school, i started to notice a change in her personality. a normal couple would enjoy spendind time with each other and generally just being sort of close at times. but for some damn reason she isnt like this. she doesnt seem to want to spend time with me at school, she doesnt wait for me, so we can walk the halls together, and does not do all the small things like this all day, that make it seem as if shes trying to ignore me. she also chooses to talk with friends and spend more time with them, than she does with me. some days she will completely not talk to me at all. in order for us to even say a word, i have to walk over to her and initaite some sort of small talk conversation. and with time i began to realize that all of our talking and being close and such has to be initiated by me in order for it to happen. so basically im saying that it is a one sided relationship. and it has been like this since the begining. i've done everything in this relationship.



I don't think you've really considered her side of things so much in this matter if you're saying such things like that. I actually have an ex-girlfriend who claimed that she and I had a one-sided relationship and that she's the one who has done everything. But in truth, I told her that I only wanted to date casually from the beginning while she constantly got angry when I hung out with my friends. She wanted to have me around EVERY second I was available. And let me tell you, it was really annoying and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

One thing she did was a lot of nice things for me even though I told her not to. Seriously, some of the things she did were quite moving, but I didn't feel quite comfortable with it. I asked her not to do such acts of generosity countless times. And of course, my premonitions were correct---they came with a price. She hung it over my head when I didn't do things her way and got really upset about it. Looking back on this, the things she did were nice, but her motives were not (this may sound strange, but bear with me). She did things to move the relationship along in her ideal way, but never gave the slightest consideration about what I wanted.

I've also carried on in such a way when I was younger too. We live and we learn.

The point I'm trying to make is that in a relationship, your objectives should be mutual. If two people are sharing two different objectives, then you're basically trying to go in opposite directions with a rope tied to each other, which in the end, gets you absolutely nowhere. So, maybe you should ask yourself: do you two see eye to eye on everything? Or is there a big gap there?

[joshrain]

good advice guys. i'm gonna talk to her about things, and go from there.

[joshrain]

update:::

okay boys, we broke up. it was kind of an agreement to break up and just be friends. im happy with this becasue were going to be really good friends and still hang out and stuff. and basically she said we can still be close and such but as friends. so score. were still gona do things together, but just be friends.

[luckylynch]

so i did everything in my power to make sure i am the greatest person i can possibly be

The greatest person ?

Just be yourself next time--have fun, enjoy life. Dont be so serious. Ie. The relationship--your in hs---there are no relationships

[puppet_master]

This is so pathetic, it made bile risw to my throat.

You were a complete pussywhipped chump,

Then this bitch treated you bad, and you just took it like a whore

Then she ends it with you and your happy because 'you can still be close friends'


For the love of god, grow some ****ing balls, read the double your dating guide etc, and stop putting pussy on a pedestal.

Good luck.

[Right U R Ken]

Hate to tell you this but no, you're not going to be friends. That just something she said she she could pretend she's not a cold hearted bitch. She MIGHT hang out with you once just so she can say she did the friends thing but after that forget it.

[JimboHSP]

Do not mistake potential for character.

There are a lot of people who "could" be great. Everyone has the potential for greatness. If she's slipping up at the moment, don't wait for a change. This is your life, your reality, and your relationship. Take some charge and ask why. If you don't like the outcome of that then at least you learned something.

[Ripped_carnt]

unless you do something son, your life is gonna be one, long, uphill battle

[joshrain]

she just told me that the reason she couldnt do this right now is cause she has lots of things going on in her life and she doesnt have time for a serious relationship right now. she said she wants to still do things with me, like go out with friends and stuff. she also said she still wants time to spend alone with me. wtf? okay, im getting that she doesnt want a boyfriend right now, but she wants to still do **** with me? i think this is better for me, i dont have the commitment of a relationship, but i still have the great physical aspects of a relationship. ;)