Disordered eating/training recovery journal

[dianna]

So, I have been doing a beginners full body circuit weights program for a year, 3 days a week as well as 45 minutes on the crosstrainer every other day and a 12 km distance run on the weekends. I found that my bodyfat dropped to the point where my periods disapeared, I lost my sex drive and my hair was falling out. I was cranky, jittery and had the shortest fuse ever.I was always sure to eat tons of food, lean protein, veggies, fruit, your basic super-clean, Oxygen magazine- high protein 5 meals a day 'on season' diet.

A few weeks ago, I had a bit of a crash so I started to change things after I read about over-training and the efects of cortisol on the body.

Oddly enough there isn't any info out there for women who want to go 'off season' gracefully, up their body fat in a healthy way and build muscle the body has eaten away at from over-training.
Honestly, I'm terrified of gaining body fat. It's so counter-intuitive to a former bulemic - turned - over-trainer. The smaller the numbers on the scale and measuring tape and calipers, the better, right? ~UGH!!!

Over the next while, I will be posting my routines and diet. My stats as of 3 weeks ago are:

resting blood pressure: 110, 72
resting heart rate :66
Training heart rate: 148-174
Weight:103
Bodyfat: 12%

Girths:
upper arm: 9.5
Chest: 34
Waist: 24.5
Buttocks: 32
Right thigh: 16.5
Right calf: 13

For pictures, and more info, go to
http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=diannadinoble&itemid=13114 my LiveJournal page

[firstmark]

I looked at your pictures you should drop all cardio and increase calorie consumption. Its hard to build muscle when your body is just getting enough calorie wise to survive or maintain itself.

[dianna]

While I apreciate your feedback, I want you to think about the psychological efects of 'simply' stopping all cardio and increasing calorie consumption. Packing on weight drastically and removing my 'control mechanisms' will terrify me back into my bulemic tendencies pretty quickly. Even the most easy going woman isn't going to take weight gain well, let alone an obsessive-compulsive control freak who's life has revolved around being as thin as possible.
Then, read the title of this journal and then read below.

I Have increaded my calories and starchy carbohydrates already, and added EFA's a week ago and I feel like a completely different person. So much calmer and the short fuse is gone!


NEXT:
My Plan...
Motto: NO DRASTIC CHANGES! I didn't get here overnight, so the only way to make permanent changes is gradually, so I can still feel in control.

Diet strategy:
Add EFA supliments, healthy energy bars to increase carbohydrates, adding brown rice, kamut pasta and yams.
My regular diet included NO starchy carbs, fat, or sodium.
I do have a lot of food alergies.
I have added about 200-400 calories a day to my diet, increasing daily caloric intake to about 2500

Cardio strategy:
Break my pattern and reduce time and frequency.
Instead of 45 mins, on the crosstrainer every other day, gradually decrease cardio, by 5 minutes each session, and split it into two or more machines. 2 days a week only on cardio machines (high intensity), and a slow, distance run with my boyfriend on the weekend.

Weights strategy:
Turn full body weight circuit, superseting everything into a 3 day split.

Monday: Chest/delts/triceps/abs
Tuesday: 40 minutes total cardio, 2 machines minimum.
Wednesday: Legs/abs
Thursday:40 minutes total cardio, 2 machines minimum
Friday: Back/biceps/abs
Saturday:rest
Sunday: 12 km run (slow)

[dianna]

Monday: Chest/Delts?Triceps/Abs

chest press 3x12 60lbs
Incline dumbell 3x12 15 lbs
Pec/dec 3x12 52 lbs
Cable crossovers 2x15 20 lbs
decline dumbell press 3x12 15 lbs
rope pulldown 3x12 45 lbs
lat raise 3x12 25 lbs
shoulder press 3x12 25 lbs
crosstrainer 4 (yes! only 4) minutes
hanging leg raise 2x12
crunches 2x50 or so
7 minutes various pilates stuff.

I felt so awkward using dumbells. I really liked the decline press, I don't think I have worked my lower chest before.
I still feel like I didn't accomplish a lot, I guess because I'm used to sweating profusely after a workout. I just feel sucky.
Ah well, tomorrow I do only 30 minutes on the crosstrainer and 10 minutes on the bike. I have to get myself used to seeing smaller numbersa on the crosstrainer.
This is so WIERD trying to gain a few pounds! I know I'm probably not going about it right. Ah well.

[dianna]

So strange only typing "30 mins" into the crosstrainer!
I need to break the pattern of having my workout success be determined by the numbers, and have my day be dictated by a machine telling me how many calories I have just burned.

30 mins crosstrainer
10 minutes bike

I felt great after, like I won a small battle. I also felt energetic instead of drained!

[dianna]

Leg day
Okay, so I seem to not be able to lunge properly! I tried for a good 15 minutes and I just can't seem to do it!!!
Here's what I did today:
*5 mins bike warm up
*smith machine squat 3x12 25 lb plates - I like this one!!
*Deadlift 3x20 15 lb plates - I think I did this wrong
*Lunges with 10 lb dumbells - tried standing and walking and I kept wobbling all over the place, couldn't get the knee not to go over the toe, or the back leg to support properly. Quite a mess here.
*extensions 3x10 50 lbs
*curls 3x12 60 lbs
superset 3x12:
*hip abductor 85 lbs
*hip adductor 95 lbs
10minutes abs

I feel so awkward and stupid. Even though I have been at this gym for a year now, I feel like this is my first week at school or something. I can't wait until I get my confidence back.

[firstmark]

Cardio doesen't burn that much calorie wise to begin with. You can't measure results with cardio either.
Why not take up some walking with heavy dumbells or while wearing a weight vest or wheel barrow runs.
Something you can measure progress by besides just watching a clock pass by.

[dianna]

OH! I almost forgot!
Every day I do a brisk walk for one hour each way to work and back.
The main thing here is to break old patterns, making the routine less rigid by adding more variety to make it fun, instead of more necesary than breathing.

[dianna]

My legs are SO sore today!! Although it is strange to switch my routine to 3 day split, I actually FEEL the muscles I worked. I owuld fly through my full body routine before and not feel like I actually worked any muscles. I am looking forward to seeing the results here, this is change is really exciting!

Cardio day:
30 minutes crosstrainer
10 minutes bike

And I am up to 105 lbs!! A pound a week seems pretty sustainable.

[dianna]

back/biceps/abs:
Pullups - failed attempt *blush*
Lat pulldown 3x12 60 lbs
seated row 3x12 65 lbs
close grip pulldown 3 sets 60 lbs 12,12,10
one arm row 15 lb dumbell 3 sets 15, 15, 12
preacher curls - can't do these
cable curls 45 lbs 3 sets, 15, 12, 12
concentration curls 10 lb dumbell 3x12
10 mins abs

I felt a lot more confident today, less sucky and awkward. It seems that my right bicep is conciderably weaker than my left. Hmm.

The concentration curls were fun, but my legs still hurt from leg day, so it was hard to lean on them.

[dianna]

Normally, I would do a 12km road run, but my legs are still too sore from Wednesday. I did yoga instead. It was so silly, the woman on the tape was really dorky, but I had a good laugh anyhow.
I guess this would be my 'rest day'
- havn't had one of those in a very long time.
We did go walking all day though ;)

[mishvs]

Great to see that your working out hard but taking well deserved time off too!

Seems like your training is on track, how's the diet going?

Keep up the positivity!

Michelle

[dianna]

Thanks Michelle!!
I'm so glad someone is reading this!
Keeping up with the diet is going very well, I have added about 200-500 calories a day, mostly starches like yams, kamut pasta, rye bread, corn chips. (mmmmm, salsa and corn chips) I am up to 105 lbs now and I am still excited about the direction I am headed. I feel worlds differently than I did a couple of weeks ago, far more calm, happy and focused.


Today, was my first road race!!
we did a 5km run - it was the annual breast cancer charity run, I absolutely loved it!! We went out later in the afternoon for another 5km run, just because my legs desparately wanted the workout.

I have felt a little tense this weekend, I am realizing some pretty interesting things about where my low self-esteem comes from and why I have to feel like I'm thinner/more muscular/more fit/ more whatever than other people, instead of realizing the things about myself that are unique and cool, without having to compare myself to anyone. For god sake, I singlehandedly run a comapny and I measure my worth and success by a number on the scale, measuring tape or by the number of calories a machine has just told me I have burned. Sad, but true - but this is where the most permanent changes will come from - sorting this stuff out.

I will post more about my thoughts and how I have ended up here as I think of them.

[Nicole]

You are doing a great job! Keep it up. We are all here for you!

[dianna]

I am feeling so motivated with all of this positive feedback, thanks guys!!

chest/delts/triceps day
chest press 65 lbs 3x12
incline dumbell press 15 lb dumbells 3x12
*my form is too sloppy, I want to find an alternative to this

pec dec 3x12 1:57lbs 2,3: 52 lbs
cable flys 20 lbs 15, 12,12
lat raise 25 lbs 15, 12, 12
decline chest press 15 lb dumbells 3x12
tricep kickbacl 10 lbs 3x12
shoulder press 25 lbs 15, 12,12
tricep bench dip 3x12
4 mins crosstrainer
abs

I felt much better today, loads more confident than last Monday. I am not missing the huge ammount of cardio I was doing before.
My hair is still falling out ~sigh

[dianna]

yesterday:
30 minutes crosstrainer
10 minutes bike

Today:
Legs/Glutes

I can now lunge properly!!! last week, I was doing a balance-beam type lunge, wobbling all over the place, tipping over and getting frustrated and upset. This week I *AM* the Lunge Queen!

4 minutes crosstrainer - warm up
Squats 20 lbs 3x12
Straight leg deadlift 15 lb plates 3x12
Lunges :) 4x12 10 lb dumbells
Extensions 50 lbs 3x12
Curls 60 lbs 3x12
abductors 85 lbs 3x12
adductors 95 lbs 3x12
Abs

I feel TONS better about my form. Maybe I can do the squats next week with a regular barbell, instead of the Smith machine. I'm so pleased that I can lunge now, I felt like such a dork last week.

[dianna]

Well, I'm almost up to 106 lbs and I'm kinda freaked. It is wierd feeling squishier, and feeling like my 6-pack is disapearing. I know a good part of what I'm seeing is just in my head, for crying out loud, I would be very surprised if a couple of those pounds I gained wasn't muscle, now that my body isn't using the muscle I was trying to build as food- in adition to the more advanced weight training.

I wish these 'fitness' magazines would write articles about how these fitness competitors get their body fat levels up to a healthy percent and resume functioning as a woman when they go 'off season', how not to feel like you have failed, or let yourself 'go'.

MsFit, bufchk, Nicole, maybe you can help me with this?

My legs feel loads better than they did last week after Leg/Glutes day, I have been taking L-Glutamine supliments post workout, as well as protein powder. For some reason, I got myself into the habit of only taking the protein powder after my cardio instead of after my weights!! Now I do both :)

Today:
30 minutes crosstrainer
10 minutes bike

[dianna]

Feeling a little rageful today, nothing in particular. I know this is going to be a stellar day, but I'm just feeling crumy. HA! maybe this is p.m.s. ~oh to dream

Back/biceps
lat pulldown 65 lbs 3x12
seated row 65 lbs 3x12
close grip pulldown 65 lbs 3x12
one arm dumbell rows 20 lbs 3x12
cable curls 45 lbs 15,12,12
concentration curls 10 lbs 3x12
abs

I'm not feeling much going on with my back, maybe I'm not doing the back exercises properly, or I need to do more eps or something. It just isn't burning like the rest of my muscles do the day after.
I'm generally feeling stronger and even this soon, I can see an improvement in the muscle tone on my legs.

[Hibiscus09]

Diana, how tall are you? Are you getting counseling still for the eating disorder? Many people replace bulimic tendencies with over-exercise. I think you're doing great that you are at 105-106 now. I know it's difficult, but just to put things in perspective, I'm 5'4", weigh 120, 17% bodyfat & wear a size 2. Most people think I'm pretty trim.

I just asked asked about the counseling because I thought it might help keep you on track as far as what is healthy and what isn't. My sister-in-law had a problem with bulimia and has been doing much better, with counseling, over the last 5 years or so. She still exercises but certainly seems to keep herself at a healthy level as far as her weight and bodyfat is concerned.

[dianna]

I'm 5'3".
I tried counseling for many years, but I found that it made things worse. Let's face it, counselors make money off of this and they aren't in it to work themseves out of a job.
I do have a FABULOUS support network, my fiancee, my friends and people on this board and my other journal pages. I feel like I can say anything to the people I have in my life and they are all so supportive and helpful, with really great suggestions. Some people I have met on boards like this have even been through this too and gan give tips and inspiration.
I certainly have no trouble staying on track with all of the support of people who genuinely care about me. I know why I am changing things, and I have people who love me and want to see me healthy. I have an incredible life, and a wonderful future to look forward to. That motivates me more than me paying someone to ask me "how does that make you feel?"

[Hibiscus09]

I'm glad you have a great support group -- I know that really is important, as is your desire to be healthy. You're on the right track and I hope things keep improving for you! Congrats on the fiance -- I've been married 20 years & highly recommend it! :)

[dianna]

I am feeling so awesome!!
This new routine and diet is really agreeing with me. I am feeling so much stronger in so many ways. I definately feel like I'm laughing a lot more. That is one of the most important things.
Still no period though. Ah well, it may take a while to get back on track. The L-Glutamine seems to be helping recovery after workouts too.

Saturday:
Rest

Stunday:
12 km run (70 mins - pretty slow)

Today:
Chest/delts/triceps

chest press 65 lbs 3x12
incline dumbell press 15 lb dumbells 3x12
*it seemed to work for me this week - go figure.

pec dec 3x12 1,2 :57lbs ,3: 52 lbs
cable flys 25lbs 12, 20 lbs 12,12
lat raise 25 lbs 15, 12, 12
decline chest press 15 lb dumbells 3x15
tricep kickbacl 10 lbs 3x12
shoulder press 25 lbs 15, 12,12
tricep bench dip 3x12
4 mins crosstrainer
abs

[dianna]

Cardio day:

The *COOLEST* thing happened today, I had finished my 30 minutes on the crosstrainer, wiped it down and headed over to the bike when I realized I didn't evel think to look at the "calories burned" on the monitor!!!!
On the bike, I was having fun playing with the heart rate bringing it *really high* then *really low* and before I knew it, the 10 minutes was up. I headed up the stairs to the shower notiing that my legs didn't hurt this time and I realized !!Holy cow!! I didn't look at the "calories burned" monitor on that either!!!
It didn't even occur to me! My life used to revolve around the numbers that it spit out at me and this week, I didn't even think about it!

I guess this means progress!

[dianna]

Legs/glutes/abs

I feel like I'm getting much stronger, I have increased the weights in a lot of exercises, this is so good!!!

4 minutes crosstrainer - warm up
Squats 25 lbs x12, x10 20 lbs x12
Straight leg deadlift 30 (!) lb plates 3x12
Lunges 4x12 10 lb dumbells
Extensions 50 lbs 3x12
Curls 65 lbs 3x12
abductors 90lbs 3x12
adductors 100lbs 3x12
Abs

20 minutes yoga before bed

[mishvs]

Progress isn't even the word for your transformations both mentally and physically- you're on fire Dianna! It's incredible how, in such a short period of time, you've managed to suppress habits that you had. If you keep this up, you'll be reaching all your goals sooner than you think.

Stay motivated

Michelle

[Matthew D]

Keep it up Dianna. Just wondering how the diet part is coming. I can see from the pictures the weight part is doing great.

[dianna]

Thanks guys!
The diet part is coming along great! It is still wierd for me to eat bread (even if it is whole grain) and brown rice and pasta. I'm even allowing myself more 'treats' like having a bite of my boyfriends cookie, or a frozen yogurt, and not beating myself about the head afterwards. I never thought I had enough hours in the day to eat more than I already did, but I have been consistantly adding about 300-500 calories a day to my diet.
The plain fact is that if I want to be healthy, and to gain more muscle, I need more bodyfat. Just feeling the changes in my moods from constantly irritable to mostly calm and happy, is enough to keep me going and not be bothered too much feeling a bit more squishy. Smiling and laughing is worth more to me than being able to see every muscle fibre in my body.
I even looked at myself in the mirror yesterday - I gained 4 pounds since the start of this, and I really like the way I look. I always thought I would be devestated to see the numbers on the scale increase, but *DAMN* I'm looking good - even if I do say so myself! Who knows, I may even be happy to go up to 110lbs somne day!

[Hibiscus09]

Have you tried whole wheat pasta? My husband hates it but I love the stuff. After I run I'll eat a cup of that with chicken and butter buds.

[dianna]

Sounds good, but I eat the kamut flour pasta. I can't metabolize most wheats, (shaking - cold sweats, etc..) and the kamut comes in the vegetable flavour as well. Being Italian and, of course, I make *the best* pasta sauce, it is nice to actually have some from time to time ;)
I also use kamut flour in my baking too!

[mishvs]

Dianna,

I have a question for you if you don't mind - when you started training (14 months ago right?), what was your body like. Weight wise and body fat %.

Also, how quickly did it take for you to reduce your bf and increase your muscle?

[dianna]

Mishvs:
It is really hard to say, the first time I had my bf% taken was at the gym almost a year ago and it was 15%, but that was after a year of working out at home. It is hard to say 'how long' it all took. I didn't really wake up one day and say "Holy cow! look at how cut I am!" It was a gradual change over a couple of years and I wasn't really aiming to lose bodyfat or gain muscle, I just loved the exercise and feeling like I was strong and more in control of my body.
I kind of worry about answering a question like that because the first thing that popps into my head is that miserable "Tracy Gold - anorexia prevention (rather instrructional) movie)
I am wary of instructing someone on how to exchange an eating disorder for another disorder.

Back/biceps
warm up lat pulldown 30 lbs 20 reps
lat pulldown 65 lbs 3x12 (I may want to drop it to 60 lbs next week - i might be losing my form here)
seated row 65 lbs 3x12
close grip pulldown 65 lbs 12, 60 lbs 12, 12
one arm dumbell rows 20 lbs 3x12
cable curls 47 (!) lbs 15,12,12
concentration curls 10 lbs 3x12
crosstrainer 4 mins.
abs
I increased the reps from 30 to 45 on the ab-crunchey machine - I can actually feel them now!

I want to add some other upper back exercise, it doesn't feel like I'm working myself very hard, even though am maxing out at 12 reps. I don't know, I guess I'm just used to 'feeling it' the next day for the rest of the muscle groups.

[dianna]

Saturday: 12km 1 hour run, yoga
Sunday: yoga

Monday: Chest/triceps/delts

At the suggestion of a friend, I tried a new routine. I increased the weight quite a bit, addrd a set and dropped the reps. I felt the muscles working a lot harder this time. It is really nice to use the dumbells more than being dependent on machines.

Chest/delt/tricep

10 pushups - warm-up
incline DB press 20lb db 10, 10, 9, 9
flat db press 20 lb db 8, 9, 8, 10
decline db press 20 lb db 9, 8, 9, 9
cable flyes 25 lb 8, 8, 7
db shoulder press 15 lb db 3x10
lat raise 30 lbs 3x10
tricep kickback 10lb db 10, 9, 8
bench dips - to failure 15, 12, 10,9
abs

later on, 45 minute run - had a bad day and I needed a cardio fix.

[dianna]

I seem to be holding steady @ 106 lbs. I am so upset about my middle feeling squishier though. I'm feeling so discouraged and frustrated! My periods and sex drive havn't come back yet, I know it's only been a month, and I guess I'm just in the 'keep up the progress and be patient' stage. I just feel like I'm doing everything right and feel like such a failure every time I get into bed with my ever-patient, understanding and supportive fiancee. I just want to cry every time I look at him, and he smiles at me like "it's going to be okay sweetie, I'm not going anywhere"
I hate this!! I'm not going to give up and hit the cardio hard every other day, drop some calories or anything. I feel like I'm headed in the right direction, even though I can't see where I'm going.

Anyhoo, here's my leg routine today. I know I went a bit harder than I should, but I just wanted to feel something other than sad.

4 minutes crosstrainer - warm up
Squats 10 lb plates 10x warm-up
Squats 25 lb plates 10, 9, 8, 7
Straight leg deadlift 30 lb plates 3x12
Lunges 5x12 10 lb dumbells
Extensions 55 lbs 4x10
Curls 65 lbs 4x10
abductors 90lbs 3x12
adductors 100lbs 3x12
Abs

By the way, http://home.databloom.com/albums/album01/aey.jpg My new haircut - since my hair was falling out, I needed to get rid of most of the length. I'm so much more happy with it.

[dianna]

I did things a bit differently here today too. 4 sets of lower reps on most exercises. I think I will go back to the lighter routine for my legs for a while. I was SO sore after Wednesdays workout - Hell, I still am!


Back/biceps
warm up lat pulldown 30 lbs 20 reps
lat pulldown 65 lbs 10, 10, 9, 9
seated row 65 lbs 10, 10, 10, 9
close grip pulldown 65 lbs 9, 9, (60) 9, 9
one arm dumbell rows 20 lbs 10, 10, 10, 9
cable curls 47 11, 10, 10, 9
concentration curls 10 lbs 3x12
crosstrainer 4 mins.
abs

I really felt my back get a great workout today, I'm sure I will feel this tomorrow

[MDC]

Don't use lower weight on your legs next week. Drop the fourth set if anything. I'm willing to bet that if you do the exact same thing next week you won't feel it nearly as much anyway.

Great to see you progressing!

[dianna]

Originally posted by MDC
Great to see you progressing!
GAH, My legs have gotten HUGE only a month! It is amazing the results I'm seeing. I no longer look like a stick-girl!


I havn't posted in a few days, so here's what I've been up to:
Saturday - 12 km run
Sunday - Yoga
*I have noticed I feel really crusty on Sundays. I think it's because I don't get up and out of the house and moving around early in the day. I guess I'm just getting doun on myself for having a rest day.

Monday:
Chest/delts/triceps

10 pushups - warm-up
incline DB press 20lb db 10, 10, 9, 9
flat db press 20 lb db 9, 9, 8, 8
decline db press 20 lb db 9, 9, 9, 9
cable flyes 25 lb 10, 8, 8, 8
shoulder press 30 lb 4x10
lat raise 30 lbs 4x10
tricep kickback 10lb db 10, 10, 10
bench dips - to failure 18, 12, 10, 11
abs

5 100 meter sprint intervals in the evening.
(Woah - Killer!)

So, I'm pretty pleased with this routine and my legs routine. I'm still kinda unsatisfied with my back routine on Fridays. I can see the results already, but I just don't *feel* the workouts.
Ah well.

TOMORROW IS MY 28TH BIRTHDAY - WOO HOO!!

I am somehow okay with eating all of the junk food in the world between my birthday and Halloween.
Funny, I would have rather sawed my own arm off than eat a piece of liorice 2 months ago.
I like this much better. Now if I could only start producing estrogen aain, my life would be perfect.

[MDC]

You'll have to post a picture when they get ridiculously huge if not sooner! :) I'm still planning to post some pictures of me on my 35th birthday at the end of November

[dianna]

I'm up to 108 pounds now, I would likely have been a spazz about this, but I can see some major increase in muscle size and I am noticing a huge difference in my strength! My face doesn't look as gaunt either. As an Italian chick, I look much better with cheeks!
From Oct 29th (my birthday) to halloween, I allowed myself to eat anything I wanted, such decadence! Now, the day after Halloween, I am nursing a SEVERE candy hangover. I had more sugar yesterday than I did this whole year!
Mike gave me an "Ironman Triathalon watch/heart monitor" situation for my birthday, this thing is SO FUN!!!! I wear it during cardio and I wore it during my back/bicep routine today too. It never occurred to me how much weight lifting gets the heart pumping!

Here's my routine from the past few days. Overall, the reps are getting easier.
Friday:
Back/Biceps
4`mins crosstrainer
warm up lat pulldown 40 lbs 20 reps
lat pulldown 65 lbs 4x10
seated row 70 lbs 10, 8, 8, 8
close grip pulldown 65 lbs 9.9.7,7
one arm dumbell rows 20 lbs 10, 10, 10, 9
cable curls 47 4x10
concentration curls 10 lbs 3x12
crosstrainer 4 mins.
abs

Thursday:
Cardio
20 minutes treadmill, 8 min mile
30 minutes crosstrainer

Wednesday:
legs/glutes
This is basically the same routine that totally annihilated me last week, but it seemed easier today. My legs are feeling so big now, there is a definite increase in size and definition, this is so cool, I'm starting to feel like WonderWoman!!

4 minutes crosstrainer - warm up (I felt my legs pushing so much harder this time, the usual level 11 was a breeze today!
Squats 15 lb plates 10x warm-up
Squats 25 lb plates 8, 8, 7, 7 (ROAR)
Straight leg deadlift 30 lb plates 3x12
Lunges 5x12 10 lb dumbells
Extensions 55 lbs 10, 10, 9, 9
Curls 65 lbs 4x10
abductors 90lbs 3x12
adductors 100lbs 3x12
Abs

Tuesday:
Cardio
20 minutes treadmill, 8 min mile
30 minutes crosstrainer

[Hibiscus09]

Congrats on the 108 and your progress with lifting! It's funny you said the thing about your cheeks -- I was just telling my husband today at lunch that since I quit being so fanatical about wanting to be sooo lean that I noticed my face looks much prettier. I really had the gaunt cheek thing going on. I'm not out of shape now, but I have noticed just a few % points up in bodyfat has made my face fill out and look much better -- and I even like the way my body looks with it too!

Oh, yeah -- isn't Halloween fun?!

[dianna]

This is interesting, I have been researching the birth control pill I have been on Alesse and I have discovered that all of the things that have been bothering me physically, emotionally and sexually are common side efects of this damn pill!!!
-lowered libido
-hair loss
-depression
-anxiety
-lighter periods
among others. I am so ticked! Great idea for a pill - kill your sex drive, so you won't have sex, thereby not risking conception. GAH!I am going to stop taking it today and just go off birth control altogether for a month just to see what happens. I've been on them without a break since I was 13, so this will be an interesting experiment.
Other than that, I have been sticking with the same lifting routine, I'm really enjoying it! I still can't get over the change in my legs! that is what is keeping me sane about going up a few pounds, seeing that it is likely all in my quads and hams!
squats are "a good thing' as Martha [tm] would say.

If anyone has anymore info on the birth control situation, I would be happy to hear about it. I'm thinking of going on Yasmin in a month or so

[Amanda]

Hi Dianna,

Congratulations on your progress!

I have never had an eating/exercise disorder, but, like a lot of women I have obsessed over my weight from time to time. These days, I eat more for health (I am thinking of starting a new eating plan, & logging it here, but will continue to make healthy choices). My basic plan is to eat at leat 2 pieces of fruit a day, & at least 2 1/2 cups of vegetables.
Ever since I've been doing this, I feel so much better! Although I sometimes still get a mid afternoon energy crash, I'm not dragging myself around anymore.
My point is that what we eat effects our energy & how we feel.
I bet you're feeling a lot better since you've changed your diet, aren't you?!

With the contraceptives, have a word to your doctor, but all oral contraceptives have a dampening effect on female libido. The people who make them mustn't get the joke! There are a plethora of other side effects as well.

Personally, knowing the side effects, I still take the pill. Simply because it's so convenient., I did some reading a while (quite a while, so the info is probably out of date) ago, & if you are not wanting to muck your body up with chemicals, a diaphragm might be the way to go. It's a physical block, & with the use of spermicidal creams, is very effective. Also, it will hold back menstrual flow, so you can have sex when you have your period without mess.
But again, speak to your doctor. I'm sure he/she can give you a list of other options. Maybe start a post asking the ladies on here what they use, & whether they're happy with it too!

[dianna]

I am feeling so much better since I started adding 'forbidden' foods, like starchy carbs, salt and sugar gasp!
The problem is that my doctor just bailed on all her patients with 2 weeks notice! I am in the downtown core of Toronto and it is impossible to find a new doctor, so I am trying to research this stuff on my own so I can just go to a walk-in clinic and say "gimmie a prescription for _____"
I didn't even think it could be the pills side effects, since the pill I was on from 13 to 25 years old didn't give me any trouble (except excess weight - which I didn't mind until I started exercising)
The diaphragm may be a good idea too, I never thought of that!
thanks for the suggestion!

[dianna]

Nothing too different going on here, I have been keeping the same routine:
Monday: chest,delts,triceps
Tues: cardio
Wed: legs,glutes
THurs: cardio
Fri: back,biceps
Sat: 12k run
Sun: yoga
I am still loving it. Best of all, I LOVE my new ass and legs!! They are so defined and strong! My face is looking a little more feminine as well. This isn't scary anymore.
I went off the pill today, I am looking forward to seeing what happens!

[MDC]

You should post some new/better pics soon. Your old ones are no longer available at the livejournal site.

[dianna]

I was feeling a little sick and sucky over the past few weeks, so I didn't try to increase the weight or reps too much. I kept the same routine, I just love it too much to not do it - evin if I am feelin a little under the weather. Yesterday though was awesome!

Wed: Legs/glutes
4 minutes crosstrainer
Squats 15 lb plates 10x warm-up
Squats 25 lb plates 11,9,9,9 (this is getting too easy!)
Straight leg deadlift 30 lb plates 3x12
Lunges 5x12 10 lb dumbells (I think my form is getting sloppy here)
Extensions 60lbs!!! 10, 10, 10, 9 (ROAR!)
Curls 70lbs!!! 10, 9, 7, 6 (quieter roar)
abductors 90lbs 3x12
adductors 100lbs 3x12
Abs
Leg press 195! WHoo!!


This is amazing, for a whole year with my full body routine, I was struggling to maintain 45 lbs on the extensions and 155lbs on the press. I just love this!

Day 13 off the pill now and I am moody as hell!! A friend pointed out that this is likely a similar thing to post-partum depression since the pill *tricks* the body into thinking it is pregnant, going off the pill would throw hormones out of whack the same way. I just wish that some regular estrogen-related things would accompany the moodiness!!! I still don't really feel like a woman again - yet.

[dianna]

Tuesday I stepped on the scale. 106. ****. I dropped 2 pounds. I measured my leg and I had lost an inch there too. How did this happen when I was supposed to be changing things?
It seems that my little denial machine has allowed me to squeak in a 5k run on my rest days for the past Also:
previous: 45 minutes crosstrainer every other day
September plan: 40 minutes maximum (10 min. bike + 30 min crosstrainer) tuesdays and thursdays only
Recent: 25 minutes treadmill +30 minutes crosstrainer. Tues & Thurs.

I suck

I've been sitting here wondering why it's been getting harder to do the weights, and all of that when I've basically gone back to square one, or at least square two.
I have even *forgotten* to add carbs to my diet. I guess I managed to talk myself out of bringing things like whole grain bread and kamut pasta for lunch with my salad - too much time to make or too much to lug around with me to work. I've been telling myself that eating popcorn at lunch is my carbs - good job! not!
I really feel like a loser.

I HATE NEEDLES!
Yesterday I went to the gynecologist and a new G.P. The first Dr. said that my weight simply can't support menstruation and sent me to the lab to have blood taken to check my hormone levels. I have been convincing myself that I have weighed less and still had periods - I wasn't weight training or exercising then. I had NO muscle mass, and enough body fat. She's worried that my periods havn't started now that I've been off the pill for well over a month. Both doctors said it's common to not menstruate when you've been on the pill 10+ years. She wants to put me on an estrogen suppliment (another birth control pill!) Yes boys and girls, I'm 28 and need hormone replacement therapy.

My new G.P. is pretty un-fun. He's my age-ish, he rushed me through there like it was a fast food joint and to top it off, his name is the same as my least favorite ex-boyfriend. Ah well, all I really need in a G.P. is someone who can refer me to a specialist. He ordered an ultrasound and more blood work.

Today, I went and hade more frikkin needles - i look like a junkie with the bruise the doctor gave me yesterday. Then an ultrasound, I wasn't warned there would be an internal ultrasound as well, which is basically a dildo shaped mechanism with a condom and VERY cold lube. *shudder*

Anyhoo, my meal plan for today is:
Post lower-intensity cardio: Protein powder, 1/3c bran cereal, 5g glutamine
Mid morning snack: Apple, 1/2 c plain yogurt with berry granola
Lunch: enormous veggie and bean salad, 4 hard-boiled egg whites and a hand full of popcorn and some dried fruit(the usual)
Plus, 3 pieces of salmon sashimi and 1/4 cup of quinoa (sp?) EFA's
afternoon snack: kiwi & protein bar
dinner: not sure yet, Mike's work is taking us to a restaurant, likely LOADS of sashimi salmon and tuna, veggies, etc
Evening snack: (the usual)1/2c frozen yogurt, scoop protein powder & bran buds for crunchies, 4 dried apricots, rice cake with peanut butter&honey.

The denial machine has won the last round, but I'm going to keep trying. 115 pounds for our wedding!!! I know I can do it!

[MsFit]

Hummmmmmm did the holidays have an effect on your journal? :D Happy New Year!!
MsFit

[dianna]

After I discovered in my last post that I had let my eating/training disorder creep back into my routine I decided I needed to make some harder rules and make some more changes

About week before the holidays friend of mine suggested tht I take a week off from the gym to let my muscles recover and put on a bit of body fat since I have been off the pill for 2 months now and I still haven't started menstruating yet.

I was back to the gym this week and it was a bit of rough start, but I felt a million times better. I stepped on the scale yesterdy and It's 12 POUNDS! I went up 6 pounds in a week and I feel freaking fabulous! My face looks a little softer - less skeletal - AND I feel more a little more like a woman -More loving and cuddly. Less tense about everything in general.

I feel so much stronger with a bit more weight on me. I am looking forward to increasing the weights again next week.

The funny thing is that I don't really look a lot different than I did at even 105 pounds, I just look healthier. Hell, my waist is even the same size as it was at 105 pounds!

I would rather be heavier (than my previous ideal of 105 pounds) and feel as happy and strong as I do now.

My new rules are:
-NEVER let myself drop below 110 pounds under ANY circumstances.
-I have inlisted the help of my sweetie to be sure I don't let myself *forget* my carbs - or let me get away with stupid things like running on my rest day or running too fast.
-no crosstrainer until I have had 3 normal periods in a row (still waiting for one!)
-1/2 bagel or 1/2 cup rice, kamut pasta or yams with my lunch and dinner - no excuses!
-glutamine before bed as well as post workout

I will try to post my workouts this week

[dianna]

This week's workouts freaking ROCKED!!!
I feel so much stronger and I'm increasing the weights again - YAY! GO ME!!!

ANyhoo, I seem to have dropped to 110 pounds, but I'm not letting myself *forget* to include carbs (I am the Anti-Atkins rigt now) My strength and my moods depend on it!

Here's this week:

MONDAY
Chest/delt/triceps

I did my pushups after my chest workout too. Made me feel like a bit of a dork- butat least I knew my chest was completely fatigued!
4 mins crosstrainer
incline smith machine press 20lb plates 10, 9, 7, 7 (harder for some reason)
Superset:
flat bench press -smith(20) 4x10
Pec/dec (52)4x10
Superset:
"W" bar (?)pulldown (50!) 4x10
decline db press 20 lb db 4x10

Superset:
shoulder press (35!) lb 4x10
lat raise (35!) lbs 4x10
4 mins bike
Pushups to failure 5! - too pathetic!!
bench dips - to failure 19, 20, 19, 19
abs
-played around with a different ab routine using the medicine ball and also V-snaps.

TUESDAY & THURSDAY
35 minutes (4 miles) treadmill

WEDNESDAY
Legs/glutes

I wonder if walking home (one hour) after my leg workout is hurting my progress.

Leg/glutes day!!
NO corsstriner
Squats 15 lb plates 12x warm-up
Squats 30 lb plates 4x10 (YEAH!!)
superset:
Extensions 65lbs 4x 10
Curls 75lbs 4x10 (going to increase the weight next week)
Straight leg deadlift 20lb plates 3x12
Lunges 5x12 15 lb dumbells
Superset:
abductors 90lbs 3x12
adductors 100lbs 3x12
Abs

FRIDAY
Back/biceps

Back/biceps
4 mins crosstrainer (I was freezing!
warm up bent over row -bar only x12
Superset:
lat pulldown 67 lbs 10, 10, 9, 9
seated row 72! lbs 4x10 (wow!)
Superset:
close grip pulldown 65 lbs 4x10
cable curls (52!!) lbs 4x10 (i want bigger biceps dammitt!)

bent over rows (5) 3x12
concentration curls 10 lbs 3x12 (getting easier)
crosstrainer 4 mins.
abs

Chin-up assist machine (new equipment YAY!!) x10 (50lbs?