Motivating potential female bodybuilder

[Khafra]

There's a female I care much about, who really doesn't care much about her health, and absolutely abhores exercise. I'd like her to have a more positive self-image, and for that self-image to be based in the reality of a more healthy, strong body. Can anyone give me suggestions for gently and inoffensively motivating her to want health and strength?

[Alyse]

Originally posted by Khafra
There's a female I care much about, who really doesn't care much about her health, and absolutely abhores exercise. I'd like her to have a more positive self-image, and for that self-image to be based in the reality of a more healthy, strong body. Can anyone give me suggestions for gently and inoffensively motivating her to want health and strength?

why don't you send her a link to this site for starters..show her that people do have some good advice and do care. another suggestion is to send her a link to about.com, and let her peruse all the information on smoking, diabetes, lack of exercise and other factors that will eventually affect her health as a woman and as a human being.

I don't think one can motivate a potential bodybuilder, very few people I know wake up one morning and say "today I will be a bodybuilder and sacrifice my junk food and my cigarettes and anything else it takes". It's had to do all in one shot.

what you can do is just motivate her to be healthy and let the rest take its course. most bodybuilders I know started off unhealthy, got into working out and just ran with it. Some I know don't compete but enjoy the benefits, while others were fortunate enough to go onstage and strut their stuff whether they won or not. I envy those people, as I myself will never know that..however..

I started out overweight and in pain, and even tho I will always be in pain, I have made my body stronger, and I think that's what's important. Sometimes, hitting a person with common sense is all it takes...


Good luck, and be patient.

[Khafra]

Thanks, that'll doubtless be helpful... She is a little bit worried about what her smoking and recent increase in body fat is going to do to her, but she's scared of becoming excessively muscular, even though I've reassured her that it won't happen unless she works extremely hard and has a perfect diet and rest plan. I've tried to show her various articles about how weight training is better overall, especially for fat loss, than aerobics, but the most she'll say is that she might try out one of the commercialized tens units that claims to give you a perfect body by "zapping" your abs. Should I give up? Be happy that she's at least making small steps somewhat in the right direction? Try to set her on the true path of righteousness? :) I'm so confooosed...

[Alyse]

Originally posted by Khafra
Thanks, that'll doubtless be helpful... She is a little bit worried about what her smoking and recent increase in body fat is going to do to her, but she's scared of becoming excessively muscular, even though I've reassured her that it won't happen unless she works extremely hard and has a perfect diet and rest plan. I've tried to show her various articles about how weight training is better overall, especially for fat loss, than aerobics, but the most she'll say is that she might try out one of the commercialized tens units that claims to give you a perfect body by "zapping" your abs. Should I give up? Be happy that she's at least making small steps somewhat in the right direction? Try to set her on the true path of righteousness? :) I'm so confooosed...

Umm,,,if you check out those TENS units, you will see they recommend dieting, THEIR supplements (ma huang, ephedra) and other exercise so DUH..why spend that money for something you have to do ANYWAY???

Light weights and more reps tone the body, so she doesn't have to worry about being "muscular". As any one here will tell you, increased cardio activity also decreases the chance of "muscularity" (if only that wasn't so!!) and perhaps what she needs is a step class or some cardio class where they do a little of everything. Overall body work, no muscularity. Simple.

However, I think she is giving you a bunch of excuses if you ask me. If she really doesn't want to do it, no matter how much you love and care for her, she isn't going to. When she is ready, she will let you know, but pushing her is going to drive her further away.

I wish you luck......

[Tirzah]

Hey! Just wanted to share my experience...
I have an overweight friend who I actually convinced to go to the gym with me. She would really put her all in at the gym, but her diet was awful. She had the attitude of "I work out 5 days a week, I shouldn't have to watch my diet!". So basically she just got bigger, like a crazy bulking phase or something, she got so discouraged. I kept trying to tell her it was her diet, but it was always the same line (mentioned above). She said "if I have to eat like you it's not worth it...those shakes gag me....how do you eat the same stuff all the time...on and on." After 6 months of her working out, she decided that "she was just made to be fat...and she's gonna stay this way" I was so sad that she felt this way. I know she know's it's her diet and she doesn't want to change it, there's nothing I can do, but be there if she changes her mind and to be a positive influence on her.

BTW- I do tease her a little bit about it though, like when we get ready to go out or whatever and she makes comments to me like "here comes ms. perfect bod", I just say stuff like "chicken and sweet potatoes do me good!" She know's I'm kiddin' in a serious kinda way (if that makes sence, lol).

Well, I don't know if this helps you out in your situation or not...
Basically just be there for her and be a postitive influence. Let her get that ab machine, who knows it may spark an interest in her...a little change can give a lot of motivation...

Tirzah

[Khafra]

How cool, getting a reply from a competing bodybuilder with an angle I hadn't considered. Going from no exercise at all, even a cheesy little electric jolt machine could give noticeable change. I'll just have to hope she likes it enough to work harder for more.
She's having trouble believing her frequent undereating is as much a problem as her frequent overeating, but I hope I can get her settled down into a consistent, frequent, metabolically enhancing diet.
Thanks for all your help, Alyse and Tirzah, I guess I'll just take it easy, watch for opportunities to gently guide, and leave the issue alone otherwise.