The Commitment Of SeanDon...Thy Fatloss Journal

[SeanDon]

Stinks is certainly one way to put it

[DJohnson]

It happens. :(

Use the extra time to concentrate on your goals. Use the emotion to push yourself through when it's tough. It looks like you're doing great so far.

[SeanDon]

Well i just did my shoulders, and i had a good workout, but i'm beyond miserable right now.

[Shhmmooove]

Dude,

Sorry to hear about the problems. Glad to hear that you're staying positive about it.

I take it you're no longer heading to Europe?

In regards to your nice lookin' stir fry - you should whack a little soya sauce into it!

Keep it up mate.

[SeanDon]

Nah i'm still going to go to Europe. I mean, we're still closer than close. It's just we realised that a serious relationship wouldn't work for us in the long run....nothing is really changing except we're not accountable to each other for what we do, and instead of possibly ruining things later, we're just going to remain best friends until one of us dies.

It's not the worst arrangement, its just depressing.

[SeanDon]

I had a killer shoulder workout today actually, really focused....it made me feel better about my circumstances and i really pushed through.

I use this as inspiration : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfpvDAaMov0

as well as several other vids.

[ScottC]

Keep pushing on...

Glad to read you had a good workout!

[DJohnson]

I had a killer shoulder workout today actually, really focused....it made me feel better about my circumstances and i really pushed through.

I use this as inspiration : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfpvDAaMov0


I'm just about to work out, I'll watch that for sure.

[SeanDon]

I'm just about to work out, I'll watch that for sure.

did the video work for you at all? lol. I just found it inspirational.

[DJohnson]

did the video work for you at all? lol. I just found it inspirational.

Hahaha, I was pretty pumped up. It was a good video. I was also pumped cause I just started a new routine for the first time in almost forever. Trying out Dual Factor Training: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/core9.htm. Looks cool and it keeps heavy weight and low reps in the weekly routine for each bodypart so I don't think I'll lose muscle mass like I did with that other high rep crap. :D

[SeanDon]

yeah i watch that and then for the other type of inspiration i watch house music videos/techno music videos. Very girl heavy. :P

given my current situation i do need that kind of motivation :(

edit : btw new low today, 133.1kg

[ScottC]

btw new low today, 133.1kg
Keep up the good work!

It's almost time for your curry meal! :)

[SeanDon]

Yep tomorrow afternoon. lol. I'm looking forward to it, but not enough that i'm gonna overdo it.

I'm doing a bit better today. My gf (ex i guess) and i just had a huge talk and the situation is good. So it's not the end of the world situation i thought it might be for a while.

Anyways, i had 2 friends tell me that if i ever get as big as Kevin Levrone they'll disown me. Actually one of them was my gf, lol. First off that'd take a long assed time, and only if you had the right genetics, but still, i dont see why i should be disowned :(

they think its "disgustingly freakish"

[SeanDon]

so.

I pulled out a pair of pants i haven't worn since i was 16. Size 44. Figured ok, i'll see what happens, what the hay.

Put em on.

Holy **** they zip up and button. how about that? Too tight for my fashion sense, but they button/zip all the way.

i wasn't able to put them on when i was at my starting weight of 126kg two years ago. This means good things for me i do believe.

edit: oh and, i'm wearing them now as i type this post :)
Again, too tight for me, but they fit :P

[SeanDon]

i should probably mention that when i started a month ago i was wearing size 48 and size 50, baggy, but still that was the size. 46 was too tight.

[SeanDon]

New low today. 132.6kg.

I'm not concerned about it being muscle tissue, even though it was kind of fast this week. I'm completely stressed out because of my new situation with the gf, but i maintained my training/diet and i think i worked out even harder than usual, so i'm sure that has something to do with it.

Needless to say this is going well, gentlemen, and i'm happy that i'm busting it out proper. Today is wednesday, free day, and about 30 minutes away from my curry meal. I'm going to enjoy myself today and bust my chest open tomorrow when i lift :)

I'll update with photo's either this friday (depending on how i feel after my cheat day) or at the very latest, next friday. Stay tuned!

[ScottC]

New low today. 132.6kg.

I'm not concerned about it being muscle tissue, even though it was kind of fast this week. I'm completely stressed out because of my new situation with the gf, but i maintained my training/diet and i think i worked out even harder than usual, so i'm sure that has something to do with it.

Needless to say this is going well, gentlemen, and i'm happy that i'm busting it out proper. Today is wednesday, free day, and about 30 minutes away from my curry meal. I'm going to enjoy myself today and bust my chest open tomorrow when i lift :)

I'll update with photo's either this friday (depending on how i feel after my cheat day) or at the very latest, next friday. Stay tuned!
Nice way to start your cheat day, with a new low weight! Keep up the good work!

I hope you post a pic of the curry meal you ate for your free day. ;)

[SeanDon]

ah crap i didn't bring a camera. But trust me, it was good :)

[SeanDon]

cheat day = over. Not feeling the greatest, lol. Going to workout real hard tomorrow.

I went out to a club with a friend and just realised that once i reach my goals i'll be in better shape than 99% of the people there. made me feel better about reaching them.

[ScottC]

ah crap i didn't bring a camera. But trust me, it was good :)
Probably no leftovers either, huh???!!!

:D

Glad you enjoyed it...even if you aren't feeling the best now.

[Jim-eire]

I'm really suprised to see this still going, wow, its been what, 2 years?

good to see you've made some progress, be happy ;)

(my old name was Stand Ablaze).

[SeanDon]

Ok i have a slight problem. I'm sick. As in physically. I knew it was coming, i felt it creeping on me last night. The problem is that i had my free day yesterday and i absolutely cannot afford to piss today away workout wise.

I have a cough and i'm a bit stuffy....but aside from it being a bit retarded, there's no physical reason i can't benefit from my workout today is there? I'll suffer through the sickness, thats fine, i just dont want it to end up being pointless. Actually who cares if it's pointless, i'll do it anyways.

And hey Jim-eire (stand ablaze).....yeah i'm back for good this time :) been at it a month now, lost 19.8lbs (9kg). I'm not quitting, no matter what happens to me.

But yeah i feel like **** right now. Sickness wise. I hate this feeling cuz i really wanna work my chest in to the ground today too.

[SeanDon]

So yeah i did work my chest, but i've had a pretty **** day in terms of feeling good. I'm an emotional wreck, and i'm physically sick, so it wasn't the greatest combination for my lifting. But i still increased my bench by 10kg since the last time i did it (i'm very weak at the bench press for some reason, so i won't be sharing what it is just yet, lol).

I commited a sin though, as i went to sleep for a couple hours right after lifting, and i didn't eat :D I know, horrible, but i was sick and the last thing i felt like doing was eating :(

On a sidenote, Have you guys ever felt like everything you ever wanted had come to an end, and you're back at square one,a nd you just feel totally empty? like your life is over because you cant be with the person you want and what not? I'm not trying to be emo, but i'd love to know how you got through it. thanks :)

[ScottC]

If you are sick, don't push the workout. You won't get better any faster...it may take longer to get well. Just eat to plan, drink plenty of water, rest and get better.

[SeanDon]

Feeling a bit better now...It was nothing major. I mean i had a cough and i was sneezing a lot, but i feel that not working out would have been worse. In fact maybe i feel better because i did workout.

[SeanDon]

did 30 minutes cardio today. Still feeling really low. Will wait another week to take photo's as the last ones i posted are only 3 weeks old now.

[SeanDon]

So today is ok, but i'm still fairly miserable.


I'm still at 132kg, which isn't that strange considering i only hit it last wednesday, which is when i had my free day. Time seems to have slowed down for me given my situation, so i guess i'm expecting things i shouldn't be.

My workouts have happened, but yesterday i stopped earlier than i would have liked to from a combination of sickness and just general depression. But i'm nto stopping either way.

Diet is going ok, if anything i'm worried i'm not eating enough because i'm not in the mood to eat right now either.

I'll keep on keepin on.

[ScottC]

Diet is going ok, if anything i'm worried i'm not eating enough because i'm not in the mood to eat right now either.
Words you probably never thought you would read: If you are not getting enough cals, make yourself eat. ;)

[SeanDon]

i was 132.1kg this morning. Thats about a 1lb less than last week so thats perfectly fine. I have a feeling i'll get to the 131.+kg by tomorrow though, which will be nice, to finally have lost 10kg
lol.

I'm having my free day this wednesday because NEXT wednesday is my gf's bday (i still call her my gf, but i guess my ex) and we're going out that night...and my last free day was last wednesday, so i figure why break the cycle. Better to have it this wednesday and have a 7 day gap between the next one, rather than have it on friday and only have 5 days.

anyways time to sleep. I changed my workout routine a bit because i was doing a lot of single bodypart focus. I however, want to lose fat first, so i decided on a 1 exercise per body part/full upper body workout on one day, and then my back and lower on another. + cardio of course.

[SeanDon]

So its wednesday night. Had too much of a free day i believe, but thats probably cuz i was starving from not eating enough the past couple days. Basically not a good thing, lol. I'm not worried though, it was a very rough week for me aside from my diet and training, but i trained everyday, and i didn't eat freely until the assigned day, so i don't feel i failed. I'm hoppin right back on the horse tomorrow, and i can't wait.

By the way. Are there any instances of people just NOT being able to lose weight and look great? I'm starting to become obsessed with getting to the way i want to be, and it's irking me to think "what if its not possible?"

[SeanDon]

had a freakin great workout today.l

45 minutes cardio when i woke up, and heavy weights in the evening. Following arnold's advice. (i'm reading his encyclopedia, hehe).

wonderful!

[SeanDon]

Today is sunday morning and i just weighed myself. came in at 132.0kg.

I've been plateaud a little around the 132.1 - 132.3kg range for almost 2 weeks now, which has been frustrating, but i increased my workout intensity as well as added more cardio, and i'm hoping that the 132.0kg reading (which i took twice just to be sure) is a sign that i'm finally going to push past it.

This reminds me of the last time i tried to lose weight. I'd lost about 9kg and then stall, which is exactly what happened here. I hope this isn't a trend with me, because it becomes very frustrating to work so hard and see minimal results. I'll post pictures of myself this wednesday morning, as it is again my freeday on that day.

[ScottC]

Today is sunday morning and i just weighed myself. came in at 132.0kg.

I've been plateaud a little around the 132.1 - 132.3kg range for almost 2 weeks now, which has been frustrating, but i increased my workout intensity as well as added more cardio, and i'm hoping that the 132.0kg reading (which i took twice just to be sure) is a sign that i'm finally going to push past it.

This reminds me of the last time i tried to lose weight. I'd lost about 9kg and then stall, which is exactly what happened here. I hope this isn't a trend with me, because it becomes very frustrating to work so hard and see minimal results. I'll post pictures of myself this wednesday morning, as it is again my freeday on that day.
What are you doing for cardio, Sean?

[SeanDon]

Just started following arnold's encylopedia advice. 45 minutes low-med intensity every other day, plus weights in the evenings and weights on days without cardio. I jsut started this 2 days ago however, so i think it'll start to kick in properly. I don't think my cardio was too sufficient last time.

[ScottC]

Just started following arnold's encylopedia advice. 45 minutes low-med intensity every other day, plus weights in the evenings and weights on days without cardio. I jsut started this 2 days ago however, so i think it'll start to kick in properly. I don't think my cardio was too sufficient last time.
I'm certainly not one to say Arnold is wrong, but following your cardio routine, you get cardio 4 times a week one week and three times a week the next. Doesn't sound like a lot of cardio. When I was doing 3-4 times a week for cardio, I had limited success. It wasn't until I bumped it up to 5-6 times a week I had consistant losses. Just my thoughts...

[SeanDon]

actually i wasn't entirely accurate with my description...arnold says to do 45 minutes 4-5 times a week. so this is how it looks for me:

wed
thurs
sat
mon

so its 4 times a week for now. The reason i'm not pushing it way up just yet, is i'm scared of plateauing again. I mean then what would i do? :( i need somewhere to go. If this 4 times a week doesn't drastically improve my results, i'll do what you say and bump it up to 5. then eventually to 6.

[SeanDon]

do you think i should bump it up to 5 now? I really am just totally scared of not losing weight. lol.

[RaferAlston26]

I'm certainly not one to say Arnold is wrong, but following your cardio routine, you get cardio 4 times a week one week and three times a week the next. Doesn't sound like a lot of cardio. When I was doing 3-4 times a week for cardio, I had limited success. It wasn't until I bumped it up to 5-6 times a week I had consistant losses. Just my thoughts...

X2. Last year I lost 30lbs (I was 145lbs from 175lbs) and I was doing cardio 6 times a week (20 minutes of steady state) and also played basketball as much as I can.

[ScottC]

actually i wasn't entirely accurate with my description...arnold says to do 45 minutes 4-5 times a week. so this is how it looks for me:

wed
thurs
sat
mon

so its 4 times a week for now. The reason i'm not pushing it way up just yet, is i'm scared of plateauing again. I mean then what would i do? :( i need somewhere to go. If this 4 times a week doesn't drastically improve my results, i'll do what you say and bump it up to 5. then eventually to 6.


do you think i should bump it up to 5 now? I really am just totally scared of not losing weight. lol.
If you are just starting this, as you stated, give it some time first. It may be fine for a while. You should know soon enough...but be patient. Keep your diet in check.

[SeanDon]

yeah everything is proper. free day is there, but its not a hinderance yet. I believe the cardio will help. I'm doing a lot more than i've been doing the past 4 5 weeks. I was doing cardio every other day, 20 mins steady,a nd then 10 minute hiit the next time.

so it was pretty minimum.

[DJohnson]

Cardio sounds fine, just keep the intensity up. If you're not losing the fat, then something is wrong with your diet. If you measure everything then you can zero in on exactly what is going wrong or find what you need to improve.

[SeanDon]

Hey DJohnson :D

so i've been on this new arnold thing for about 4 days now. and i FINALLY HIT 10KG LOST. FINALLY. 131.+kg!
God i'm so relieved. I mean i weighed myself 300 times to be positive and i got everything from 131.5 to 131.9 so i know its a definite 10kg loss. I can't wait to get in to the 120+ range because thats my first real mini-goal.

I really do believe that the freeday is helping me more than i can explain. It keeps me focused on my workout intensity and it keeps me focused on my diet, i dont let myself cheat unscheduled because i keep saying "its ok, freeday is on wednesday" and i'm fine. Now with the scale showing a nice 10kg (22lb) loss, i'm a happy little puppy.

Gonna go do my cardi owith a smile on my face now.

[ScottC]

Congrats on the loss! Shows you not to get down on yourself, just keep going and the loss will follow.

[SeanDon]

Congrats on the loss! Shows you not to get down on yourself, just keep going and the loss will follow.

for sure!

My gf...er...ex gf...kinda....is fixing up this thing for me. I took some photo's on april 8th, and today on april 30th. I know its not even a month, but there is a difference in the side profile and i wanted to just post them because i said i would. She's good with photoshop and all that , so she's putting it together for me later on and when she does i'll post it here.

[SeanDon]

weighed in at 130.5kg this morning :) thats 11kg lost. I really don't feel its muscle. I've looked at my pictures and compared them and i seem SLIGHTLY more defined and things like that.

Plus i was stalled at 132kg for 2 weeks. So i think my body is just letting the fat go now. Either way, working out twice a day is great :)

[Be-Be]

Hi, SeanDon! I've been catching up on your story and I have to agree with an earlier post of yours, you have definitely matured quite a bit over the last two years. You are coming at this now with a good attitude though you might want to relax a little. Fretting about the past and future will only raise your blood pressure and not change a thing, so focus on the present as that?s all you can control.

In the last two years, I've become an ACE certified personal trainer and I work in a personal training facility (private studios with one-on-one training - not a gym). I have to admit that in the beginning when I got my first two lesser known certifications (IFTA and Fitness Together), I didn't see the value in getting the ACE certification but now that I've gone through their training, it is definitely worth it. Their manual and supporting materials have answered every question that I ever had. Anyway, I have about 25 to 30 appointments a week so now I talk about fitness all day and I don?t feel real motivated to come on the forum to get my fitness fix.

But back to you. Don't worry about losing muscle. You are lifting and have a lot of fat to lose, so that doesn't need to be a concern at this point.

It's great that you are reading Arnold but remember that things have changed quite a bit over the last few years are more studies have been done on every aspect of fitness and general knowledge of all aspects of health has increased. What year was your copy published?

On cardio, don't do too much HIIT at your present weight. It will thrash your knees and other joints. Focus on 20 to 60 minutes of continuous aerobic exercise at a rate that feels moderate to hard. You can do some aerobic interval training which is a milder form of HIIT. After warm up, do intervals of increased effort for 2 to 15 minutes at a hard pace (but not to where you are gasping for breath) and then rest for approximately the same time at a pace that is moderate. If you are using a heart rate monitor and know your resting heart rate, I can give you exact numbers to strive for. Try to get in 5 to 6 days of cardio a week for weight loss.

On lifting, are you going for health and fitness gains, functional training or body building? Assuming its bodybuilding, right now three full-body workouts per week or 6 days of a split routine would be excellent. Multiple or giant sets are a good way to accomplish volume overload. Three to six sets for 8 to 12 reps (but you can go as high as 15 reps) will promote hypertrophy (muscle growth) and strength. Make sure you only rest 30 to 90 seconds between sets which will help promote definition and keep up the metabolic intensity to help you lose even more weight. Make sure you are hitting every major muscle group at least for two workouts per week. Make sure you have good posture while working out; it will increase your core strength and make you less prone to injury from poor body alignment.

And don't forget to stretch.

As far as your diet, if you are losing 1 to 2 pounds per week ON AVERAGE, keep doing what you are doing. You will plateau, maybe for a couple of weeks or even a month sometimes. Just review your food journal and make sure that you haven't been sneaking in extra calories somewhere. If it looks good, just keep plugging away. Some people plateau and then lose several pounds in one week and it's not unusual to hit a point where your weight stays the same but your body shrinks, so you will be making it harder than it needs to be if you ?expect? to lose a certain amount every week. Congrats on what you have lost so far though, it appears you are doing exactly what you need to be doing.

So, welcome back and I will check in on you regularly to see how you are doing. (Does that qualify as "be careful what you ask for"?)

[Quickxi]

Hey DJohnson :D

so i've been on this new arnold thing for about 4 days now. and i FINALLY HIT 10KG LOST. FINALLY. 131.+kg!
God i'm so relieved. I mean i weighed myself 300 times to be positive and i got everything from 131.5 to 131.9 so i know its a definite 10kg loss. I can't wait to get in to the 120+ range because thats my first real mini-goal.

I really do believe that the freeday is helping me more than i can explain. It keeps me focused on my workout intensity and it keeps me focused on my diet, i dont let myself cheat unscheduled because i keep saying "its ok, freeday is on wednesday" and i'm fine. Now with the scale showing a nice 10kg (22lb) loss, i'm a happy little puppy.

Gonna go do my cardi owith a smile on my face now.


Congrats on the continued weight loss. A scheduled cheat day (or meal) helped me out a ton! Awesome job!

[SeanDon]

BE-BE!

lol! i'm glad you're back and you'll be checking up on me, your comments are some of the ones i've missed the most. Congratulations on everything you're doing with fitness! that must be crazy, going from some poitn where you considered yourself unhealthy/unfit and now you're giving people advice professionally :)

You know whats funny, and a bit odd....if you look at my photo's from 2 years ago, the ones i posted on the very first post of this thread, and you compare them to the photo's i took just 2 days ago, i'm significantly smaller NOW than i was then, yet i'm 5kg HEAVIER now than i was then too.

I'm taking this as a good thing.

I've been completely exhausted lately. I do 45 mins cardio in the morning, and i do weight training in the evening. I was meant to do weights tonight as well but i'm simply so sore i can't handle it. I've cramped in both legs today (not while working out) and my shoulders are so sore i can't lift my arms, so i thought training would be more detrimental. I did do my morning cardio though :)

I'm doing a 6 day split from now on though, which is as follows:

Day 1 - 45 mins cardio morning - chest/back weights in the evening
Day 2 - 45 mins cardio morning - Arms/shoulder weights in the evening
Day 3 - 45 mins cardio morning - rest

repeat.

I know there is no lower body workout there, but there are two reasons for that. first reason is that i don't have the equipment for it at home....well i do, but not the right weight. It'd be a pointless workout, because i can go quite heavy on legs. Second reason is i do my cardio on the elliptical and i swear i get a supreme lower body workout on that thing, because i ache in the legs from it all the time.

Overall i think things are going well. I hit 11kg lost today, as i said earlier, and i know it'll go up a few in water weight/glycogen due to my free day tomorrow, but i'm also doing 45 min cardio and weight training tomorrow, so maybe it wont be as severe.

Anyways it was great hearing from you again Be-Be :)

Quickxi - thank you very much for the support :) and i agree, a free day is just logical for me if i want it to be a lifestyle change entirely. And when it comes time to really focus hardcore on getting abs, maybe i'll get rid of it ;0

[Be-Be]

It IS a good thing to weigh more but be smaller - that means muscle! Yea!

The other points you made are very important indicators of issues in your workout. Remember that my first concern is your safety. No point in pushing yourself until you get hurt and are then unable to workout at all for weeks or months. I've hurt my leg twice lately (unrelated issues) and haven?t been able to do cardio in weeks ? we don?t want that with you.

First off, I'm guessing that you aren?t eating enough good carbs - whole grains, vegetables and fruit. Right now the typical bodybuilder diet of 40/40/20 may not be your best bet. In fact, at this point you can build the same amount of muscle but have more energy and quicker recovery time by eating macros closer to 15-20% protein/55-65% carbs/20-30% fat. Another way to measure your protein intake is to have between 1.2 to 1.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. Back to carbs: to promote muscle recovery, consume about 1.5 grams of carbohydrate per kilogram of body weight within 30 minutes after the exercise. As you become more fit, this will become more important. To lose the fat, you are training more like an athlete instead of a bodybuilder so you need to eat more like an athlete. Glycogen is a good thing. Don't worry; you'll still be building muscle. As you reach your goal weight and are doing less cardio, your carb requirements will decrease. Also make sure that you are drinking more than 64 oz of water a day - as little as 2% dehydration will affect your workout. Before, during, and after your workout, you should be drinking at least 48 oz of fluid.

They symptoms that you describe also tell me that your body isn't ready for the intensity of your cardio session. Back the sessions down to how I described above. They will still cause you to burn fat and increase your cardiovascular level but also give your body time to increase its ability to deal with the stress. Also include a good 5-8 minute warm up and 3-5 minute cool down for both the cardio and lifting. This will, among other things, reduce the tendency for muscle spasm or cramping. The warm up will also give you a better lifting workout. Stretching will help also with muscle soreness.

It is important to remember that the muscle soreness that you are experiencing is not a good thing. It's believed to the result of microscopic tears in the muscle or connective tissue. Your muscles can?t build if they are busy repairing. When you have a lot of soreness, it is best to wait until its better before working out that muscle group again. You may also be using poor form if you are lifting to that point of soreness which could cause injuries and usually works the target muscle less effectively anyway.

Regarding not working your legs out. The cardio works on muscle endurance but not muscle strength and hypertrophy. In other words, if you don't work your legs, you end up with chicken legs which look silly no matter how great your torso looks. (Don't even get me started on guys who only workout their arms.) Also, the leg muscles are the fat burning muscles so not working your legs gives you two days of potential fat burning that you are not taking advantage of. No equipment? No problem. Ever heard of a Bulgarian Split Squat? It's like a stationary lunge but with your back leg up on a bench. What size dumbbells do you have? My strongest guys use 60 pounds or less. Most use a lot less. You can also do step ups onto the bench which are killers when holding dumbbells. You can do a one leg squat where you stand on a bench and one leg hangs off the side. Then, holding your dumbbells, bend your leg on the bench in a squat or even a bent knee deadlift. There are others but that will get you started. Keep your abs tight and your torso upright for all the exercises. So you have an exercise ball? There is a neat little hamstring exercise if you do.

Most of all, remember what works best is what works for you. Try everything, keep what is positive and let go of the rest. Also, don't sweat the small stuff, you ARE making progress and that is what is important.

BTW - most my clients don't believe that I was ever unhealthy or overweight. It's kind of weird to see myself through their eyes as I don't see myself that way - as superfit and a role model. But it is cool that they are willing to pay a whole bunch of money for my expertise. :)

[SeanDon]

Hey be-be

Its funny actually because i've been under the impression i'm eating too many carbs. I haven't been weighing out my foods, i just follow the body-for-life method for now, which is where i try to portion out equal amounts of protein and carbs and add a bit of fat. I mean i know its not perfect, but its working, and i figure i dont need to be 100% precise right now.

I eat oats, fruits, veggies, whole grain breads, whole wheat bread (i hear its not so good though), brown rice, etc. I think my worst healthy meal is if i'm out and i get a sandwhich from subway....always healthy with tomatoes and lettuce though.

Basically right now i'm busting my ass and dieting well (i believe). I'll definitely give those leg exercises a shot, and let you know how it goes. I'll probably set aside my abs for that day too so the workout is more complete. As for the cardio, i think its lack of stretching that caused the cramps. I didn't stretch today, so it only makes sense.

As for being sore, i think its because i just recently started this intense lifting routine from arnolds book. I was doing a lot less before. Its not the "bad" kind of pain , which i've also experienced. I think it'll stop within the next week or so

For now i'm going to try to keep my routine the same, but add in the leg workout. If its obvious i'm way too strained, i'll tone it down a bit. But i'm determined to get this done.

I'm not dillusional and know i wont be perfect, but i want to be the best i can be within 4 months when i go to europe for holiday and then back to canada to live. After i get to canada i'll continue and eventually be my version of perfect :)

Hell maybe i'll even become a trainer lol. That'd be awesome to me anyways.

[ScottC]

I'm not dillusional and know i wont be perfect, but i want to be the best i can be within 4 months when i go to europe for holiday and then back to canada to live. After i get to canada i'll continue and eventually be my version of perfect :)

Hell maybe i'll even become a trainer lol. That'd be awesome to me anyways.You ought to put that in your sig. Good stuff! :cool:

[Be-Be]

Awesome, SeanDon, awesome.

Body for Life is a good place to start. It's one of the few diet books on my approved list. And the way you are going about it is helping you develop the practical skills you need to eat healthy for the rest of you life.

The first 3 weeks of a new lifting program are the worst. If that's the pain you are feeling, keep working through it and it will get better. If you are still feeling that intense of pain after 3 weeks, it's time to re-evaluate what you are doing and make sure it's appropriate for your fitness level. The book that most of my programs are based on is "The New Rules of Lifting" by Lou Schuler and Alwyn Cosgrove. I've been getting great results from my version fo their programs which involve their exercises for the most part but changes to the sets/reps for time issues and other changes for individualized needs/desires of my clients.

I tried out the leg exercises last night on one of my guys who has a similar physique to yours. He did the one-legged squats without weight so he could touch the wall for balance and the other two exercises with 25 or 30 pound DB. After one set, he was huffing and puffing and said that his legs were burning. Kewl ;) Anyway, adding abs to that workout would be perfect - in fact, that's what I did. (Great minds...)

When you take your trip, you can do exercises with bodyweight so that you don't have to give up everything while vacationing. We can talk about that more when the time gets closer.

So, how does it feel to be on the right track? Unless you have an undiagnosed thyroid problem or uncontrolled diabetes, you will keep seeing progress with what you are doing so keep up the good attitude and take it one day at a time. Now go stretch.

[SeanDon]

it's good to be back on track honestly. Last night was my exgf/bestfriends birthday, so we were out all night, and i had a beer or two....but its the last birthday we'll spend of hers together in the same country so i just wanted to have a good time with her :(

I had a full health checkup about 3 months ago. They took 4 vials of blood and did everysingle test imaginable, testing for cancer, diabetes, etc. I came up clean with everything. My doctor didn't even think i should do it because i'm still young, but i said i'd rather know than just wonder.

Plus i was thin when iwas 14, and then i ate myself in to the problem i'm in. And i ate a lot. So i know it's my own fault for lifting food in to my trap as opposed to any sort of physical disability/ailment that's led to me getting this way.

now i'm going to stretch :)

[Be-Be]

A beer or two isn't going to stop your progress - unless you have a beer or two every night. Remember that you control your rate of improvement and only you can decide your priorities. If going out with your friend and having a couple beers was important to you, then by all means do it and enjoy it without feeling guilting. Just be realistic about how that will affect your progress - maybe you will lose and eigth or quarter pound less this week than you would of if you hadn't. Maybe not even that much unless you feel guilty and then use that as an excuse to eat poorly for the next few days. (Yeah, I'm speaking from experience here.) So don't beat yourself up; it's a tradeoff so just make sure it's worth it.

BTW - when your body is processing alcohol (which it considers a poison); it is unable to process fat while the alcohol is in your system and for a period of time afterwards. Just something to keep in mind.

I forgot another good leg exercise that you can do. Holding some dumbbells (and standing up straight) lunge forward. (Don't let your knee extend past your toes.) Then, without setting your foot down, take the foot in the front and take it back into a reverse lunge. Then take it all the way forward again. That's one rep. This move takes some practice (as do all of them) because it works your core & stabilizers plus develops balance. Remember that when you don't step out very far on a lunge, you are primarily working your quads but when you take a large step, you are also working your hamstrings and glutes. This lunge move is nice because it also works the leg you are standing on.

I agree with you about the tests. Doesn't hurt to know for sure. Good job insisting with the doctor.

[SeanDon]

BTW - when your body is processing alcohol (which it considers a poison); it is unable to process fat while the alcohol is in your system and for a period of time afterwards. Just something to keep in mind.



I thought of this with every sip i took. I didn't finish my last one because of it. It is most definitely not something i do on a regular basis, as i dont particularly enjoy drinking. But yesterday was an occasion that called for it, and i didn't want to be rubbing my diet in my gf's face on her special day.

I woke up this morning with a mild headache. Did my 45 mins cardio. I made this spicy chicken + tomatoes with white rice. Had it for two seperate meals cuz its SO good. The white rice isn't that bad.....i'm not sure if its how it is in the states, but i'm guessing mine's a bit better down here since i'm in asia and all , lol. Either way i read that white rice isn't really much different than brown, except for the brown being slow digesting?

All i know is it isn't halting my progress as i've had this meal before :)

OH. The best part is that i had quite a liberal free day, plus i drank, etc, seeing as it was my gf's birthday. But i weighed myself this morning to get an idea of how my sodium/glycogen i have to battle this week, and i was only 131.3kg! I was 130.5kg before the freeday! The reason i'm happy? i usually go up quite a bit. Methinks my metabolism is raging.

Be-be about the convincing yourself you're doomed and eating bad for a few days - doesn't happen to me to be honest. It did before, as you'd know very well, by reading my journal 2 years ago. But now things are just different. I know i have a whole day to do what i want, i don't need more than that. Some say i dont need that much, but i refuse to comply with that because i want it to be a LIFESTYLE. Thats the big word imprinted in my head right now. Maybe one day when i desire abs i'll make it a free meal, who knows. But for now, i enjoy working out and eating right tremendously, and i'm benefiting from it, so why ruin it :)

[Be-Be]

The white rice isn't that bad.....i'm not sure if its how it is in the states, but i'm guessing mine's a bit better down here since i'm in asia and all , lol. Either way i read that white rice isn't really much different than brown, except for the brown being slow digesting?
You don't get fiber in the white rice. I get a short grained white rice from Japan for my sushi and it doesn't have any fiber in it but my brown rice (from the local grocery store) has 2 g. (Which is why it's slower digesting.) The brown also has sligthly fewer calories. But don't sweat the rice or the wheat bread. As the years go by, you'll find yourself moving towards the healthiest versions of foods but for right now just concentrate on healthier choices and portion control. Cooked tomatoes are a powerhouse of nutrition so use them liberally.


But i weighed myself this morning to get an idea of how my sodium/glycogen i have to battle this week
Glycogen is energy - you want that - especially with all your cardio. You're trying to minimize water retention and it is true that your muscles hold water to support the glycogen but that's a positive, acceptable water weight. In fact, some people, when they begin a strenous lifting workout, will gain 5 pounds in water weight just because the muscles are freaking out and storing extra glycogen. But that goes away after awhile. The water retention from the sodium, processed carbs and bad fat is what you want to avoid.


Be-be about the convincing yourself you're doomed and eating bad for a few days - doesn't happen to me to be honest. It did before, as you'd know very well, by reading my journal 2 years ago. But now things are just different.
Prove it - prove it to me every day until it becomes the only reality. :)

[SeanDon]

So i was doing my workout tonight....i did my 45 mins when i woke up, then i was doing weights tonight, and i felt a pain in my right shoulder that definitely wasn't right. I ended up doing 6 sets of shoulder workouts before i decided to call it off. Usually i do 12 sets.

I continued my workout and did my biceps, 1 set of 10,8,6,4, then 4 sets of 8 reps.

I also did my triceps but only did the dips. I do 4 sets of 20 dips. This is mainly due to equipment problems. I know there's a few tricep workouts i could do, but i think i need to move some bodyparts around because by the time i get to the triceps my shirt is 100% covered in sweat and i'm beyond tired.

Anyways any advice on what to do with this shoulder? I dont want to hurt myself, so i was thinking of skipping the shoulder workout thats coming up in 3 days too, and just doing the rest of it. Then continuing the workout next week.

Be-Be - I'm more determined than you can imagine ;) I've lost 3 pant sizes, i can wear a shirt that i couldn't even get one button on this christmas, and i love training. i really really love training. I feel so good after it. I seriously think that when i'm down to a decent weight i'm going to look in to trying some serious bodybuilding, but only for myself. I don't think i'd be able to compete. but then again who knows, right? lol. Dreams, goals, etc.

[LaxPro]

It IS a good thing to weigh more but be smaller - that means muscle! Yea!

The other points you made are very important indicators of issues in your workout. Remember that my first concern is your safety. No point in pushing yourself until you get hurt and are then unable to workout at all for weeks or months. I've hurt my leg twice lately (unrelated issues) and haven?t been able to do cardio in weeks ? we don?t want that with you.

First off, I'm guessing that you aren?t eating enough good carbs - whole grains, vegetables and fruit. Right now the typical bodybuilder diet of 40/40/20 may not be your best bet. In fact, at this point you can build the same amount of muscle but have more energy and quicker recovery time by eating macros closer to 15-20% protein/55-65% carbs/20-30% fat. Another way to measure your protein intake is to have between 1.2 to 1.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight. Back to carbs: to promote muscle recovery, consume about 1.5 grams of carbohydrate per kilogram of body weight within 30 minutes after the exercise. As you become more fit, this will become more important. To lose the fat, you are training more like an athlete instead of a bodybuilder so you need to eat more like an athlete. Glycogen is a good thing. Don't worry; you'll still be building muscle. As you reach your goal weight and are doing less cardio, your carb requirements will decrease. Also make sure that you are drinking more than 64 oz of water a day - as little as 2% dehydration will affect your workout. Before, during, and after your workout, you should be drinking at least 48 oz of fluid.

They symptoms that you describe also tell me that your body isn't ready for the intensity of your cardio session. Back the sessions down to how I described above. They will still cause you to burn fat and increase your cardiovascular level but also give your body time to increase its ability to deal with the stress. Also include a good 5-8 minute warm up and 3-5 minute cool down for both the cardio and lifting. This will, among other things, reduce the tendency for muscle spasm or cramping. The warm up will also give you a better lifting workout. Stretching will help also with muscle soreness.

It is important to remember that the muscle soreness that you are experiencing is not a good thing. It's believed to the result of microscopic tears in the muscle or connective tissue. Your muscles can?t build if they are busy repairing. When you have a lot of soreness, it is best to wait until its better before working out that muscle group again. You may also be using poor form if you are lifting to that point of soreness which could cause injuries and usually works the target muscle less effectively anyway.

Regarding not working your legs out. The cardio works on muscle endurance but not muscle strength and hypertrophy. In other words, if you don't work your legs, you end up with chicken legs which look silly no matter how great your torso looks. (Don't even get me started on guys who only workout their arms.) Also, the leg muscles are the fat burning muscles so not working your legs gives you two days of potential fat burning that you are not taking advantage of. No equipment? No problem. Ever heard of a Bulgarian Split Squat? It's like a stationary lunge but with your back leg up on a bench. What size dumbbells do you have? My strongest guys use 60 pounds or less. Most use a lot less. You can also do step ups onto the bench which are killers when holding dumbbells. You can do a one leg squat where you stand on a bench and one leg hangs off the side. Then, holding your dumbbells, bend your leg on the bench in a squat or even a bent knee deadlift. There are others but that will get you started. Keep your abs tight and your torso upright for all the exercises. So you have an exercise ball? There is a neat little hamstring exercise if you do.

Most of all, remember what works best is what works for you. Try everything, keep what is positive and let go of the rest. Also, don't sweat the small stuff, you ARE making progress and that is what is important.

BTW - most my clients don't believe that I was ever unhealthy or overweight. It's kind of weird to see myself through their eyes as I don't see myself that way - as superfit and a role model. But it is cool that they are willing to pay a whole bunch of money for my expertise. :)


*blink*

why are you reccomending he eat so many carbs? hes very overweight meaning he is intolerant to carbohydrates. eating 55-65% of your daily calories from carbs is a horrible idea. eat more fats than protein and minimal carbohydrates.

[Be-Be]

Although high-protein diets are very popular to promote weight loss, athletes who put themselves on high protein, low carbohydrate diets often end up losing muscle mass. Professionals including the American Diabetes Association (ADA) and the American Heart Association urge caution because carbohydrates are essential to active lifestyles. Carbohydrates are converted into glucose to power muscles and support the production of insulin, which helps to repair, build and maintain muscle mass.

Protein diets seem to work initially because when you eat more protein and fat, the body produces ketone bodies, which cause you to initially lose fluid. The initial weight loss is actually water. The real reason people lose weight is not because of some magical combination of protein and carbohydrate. They eat less (because ketosis causes a loss of appetite and nausea) and have a dramatic loss of body fluids. Then they go off the diet and gain the weight back.

Another thing to consider is that high-protein diets can increase the below health risks:

High-protein diets are typically high in saturated fat and, therefore, can increase the risk of heart disease.

High-protein diets can actually accelerate the development of diabetic kidney disease.

High-protein diets can be bad for your bones. High-protein diets eliminate or severely restrict certain fruits, vegetables and whole grains, which help protect against osteoporosis.

High-protein diets lack critical nutrients. Restricting carbohydrates means you restrict plant-based foods, which are rich in phytochemicals. These phytochemicals are rich in anti-oxidants and offer protection against cancer and other diseases, such as hypertension. Also, vitamin and mineral deficiencies will more than likely occur because of the limitation of healthful, nutrient-dense foods.

Ultimately, the jury is still out on the issue. I've tried it at different times both for weight loss and muscle gain; didn't work for me on either goal. Additionally, I don't personally know anyone starting where you are now that used a high protein diet and then over the next few years, managed to keep the weight off.

As you have figured out, SeanDon, it's not about high protein diets or for that matter any diet. It's about a lifestyle change that professionals suggest would promote achieving and maintaining a healthy weight without sacrificing your health in the process.

BTW: It is to your benefit to not just blindly accept anyone's opinion, especially if they are trying to sell a book, program, foods, etc. You know that I spent years teaching myself about fitness and nutrition (with positive results) plus my formal training over the last couple years so my opinions are based on that education plus my experiences and my client?s experiences and discussions with other trainers. I feel they are pretty solid though I know they will change and evolve as more studies are done on nutrition and exercise. Don't be afraid to experiment, but NEVER just accept someone's opinion (including mine) as fact without checking into it yourself. (Which is why it never bothers me to defend any recommendation that I make.) And remember that ultimately what works best is what works for you.

P.S. If you aren't diabetic, you aren't intolerant to healthy carbs; it's the processed junk that's a problem. That theory got debunked awhile ago.

[Be-Be]

So i was doing my workout tonight....i did my 45 mins when i woke up, then i was doing weights tonight, and i felt a pain in my right shoulder that definitely wasn't right. I ended up doing 6 sets of shoulder workouts before i decided to call it off. Usually i do 12 sets.

I continued my workout and did my biceps, 1 set of 10,8,6,4, then 4 sets of 8 reps.

I also did my triceps but only did the dips. I do 4 sets of 20 dips. This is mainly due to equipment problems. I know there's a few tricep workouts i could do, but i think i need to move some bodyparts around because by the time i get to the triceps my shirt is 100% covered in sweat and i'm beyond tired.

Anyways any advice on what to do with this shoulder? I dont want to hurt myself, so i was thinking of skipping the shoulder workout thats coming up in 3 days too, and just doing the rest of it. Then continuing the workout next week.

Be-Be - I'm more determined than you can imagine ;) I've lost 3 pant sizes, i can wear a shirt that i couldn't even get one button on this christmas, and i love training. i really really love training. I feel so good after it. I seriously think that when i'm down to a decent weight i'm going to look in to trying some serious bodybuilding, but only for myself. I don't think i'd be able to compete. but then again who knows, right? lol. Dreams, goals, etc.

Rest the shoulder and then try again with a lighter weight. If you don't feel any pain, start working up back up again but pay real, real close attention to your form. Which part of the shoulder?

Keep the triceps and biceps at the end. It's okay if you are worn out because you are working the arms throughout the workout when you work the back and chest. Think of the arm moves as the finishing touch to exhaustion. Don't worry about muscle size, they will grow proportionally. When you've lost the weight and we get more serious about bodybuilding, we'll take another look and decide if they need extra work. :)

You are doing great; I'm very proud of you. I'm also glad that you summoned me so that I could share in your victories.

[SeanDon]

Hey Be-Be.... :)

I had to summon you! you were alawys the most understanding/supportive and i really appreciate that.


I skipped my 45 minutes cardio this morning for depression reasons. It's ok, i'll just do 45 minutes on my scheduled day off instead. I did do my weights tonight tho, and i incorporated deadlifts in to my back routine and holy crap i was shaking so bad after that. I couldn't bend over without my legs wobbling, which is weird i know, but i guess the lower back has influence on my legs ;)

I buy lean cuisine meals now, and i only eat them after my weight training. I figure i can get away with a few extra carbs at that time. I always add a protein source to compensate for the carbs....For example tonight the lean cuisine meal i had after my workout was this:

290 cals, 38g carbs, 19g pro, 7g fat. It was roasted turkey breast+ mashed potatoes and gravy with veggies. I checked the back a million times to make sure it was healthy cuz it sounded too good, lol. But i didn't like the protein ratio so i cooked some fish (perch fillet) to eat with it....that added about 150 calories to it, but i figure 440 cals is pretty decent for a post workout meal.

I have lean cuisine meals in my freezer, but again i only eat them after my weights. It's sort of an incentive to bust my ass with the weights so that i can enjoy one of them. I'm hoping they're not bad, or i'll cry :(

Tonight i did my chest/back which consisted of :

bench press 10,8,6,4

Bent over rows, 4 sets of 8 reps

Deadlifts, 4 sets of 8 reps

Then i did 4 sets of 8 reps at my 8 rep limit for bench press. By the last set i could only make 7.

I'm trying to add more to this workout because i dont get half as sweaty or anything during this one as i do during my shoulders/arms day. Maybe i'll add a few more exercises to it.

Today my diet was fine except i went out and i had to really search for something healthy. One of my meals was perfect...it was this soba noodle+chicken thing....soba noodles are really healthy japanese style noodles....they had this whole write up on the menu about them and i was quite impressed with the nutritional quality, so i gave it a shot. My other meal was bbq'd beef with white rice and some veggies. I didn't completely trust that meal, but i ate with caution and i'm sure i did alright.

Thats really the only thing i dont like about eating out, is that its such a pain to find something that aligns itself with my diet. When i'm at home its all planned and there's no guesswork. But i really want to master the art of eating out, because like i've said 10 million times, this is a lifestyle change. Overall i'd say i did a fairly good job at it today, because i made smart choices based on what i had available to me.

/end rant. lol.

[DJohnson]

Sounds like a fine post workout meal SeanDon. Keep up the good work. I especially like the deadlifts, those are great for you. Just make sure you keep your form in check because with the amount of weight you use in deadlifts you can injure yourself if you aren't careful.

[SeanDon]

Yeah i'm especially careful. I didn't go too heavy tonight cuz it was the first time doing a full set of them....but i have a phobia of back injuries so i'm always careful, lol.

glad the meal is alright.

[Be-Be]

You are doing great on incorporating eating out into a healthy diet. Keep educating yourself on the nutritional value of food and it will be easier to pick the good from the bad (and the bad pretending to be good which is getting real popular here in the States). Soba is really healthy and I keep meaning to add it to my diet but never seem to get around to it. Maybe there's a Lean Cuisine meal that includes it...

Deadlifts are awesome. I assume you are doing straight leg deadlift if you are using them as a back exercise. I do them on leg/ab day myself. As I straighten, I really tighten my hamstrings and glutes which takes some of the pressure off the back and works out the legs. It's very important to keep a flat back on this one. Other versions that you can do on leg day are bent knee deadlifts either starting with the weights in your hands and bending your knees or picking the weights up from the ground by straightening your legs. And, as DJ says, watch your form and be careful not to use too much weight or increase the weight too quickly. Those are small muscles in your lower back and they are already stressed by your extra weight. But it is good to work them as part of your core conditioning since the core development can help you to be stronger on your other lifts.

[SeanDon]

Hey Be-Be,

yeah i was doing them with straight legs. I did bend a tiny bit once or twice, but i think thats from lack of practice....either way, its a new day now, and i DEFINITELY feel it in my back, lol, so i'd say i was doing it alright. My back feels kind of tight right now.

I'm about to go do 45 minutes of cardio but i just wanted to check in. I haven't really entirely been counting calories because the body for life way right now says i dont really need to. I just make sure i get the portions right and i eat every 3 hours or so, with proper nutrition post workout, etc.

I'm not entirely sure if its 100% necessary for me to count them right now, but i guess i should try getting in the habit of it.

[Be-Be]

Don't worry too much about counting the calories right now since you are getting results from portion control and the other habits recommended in Body for Life. There will probably come a time when you stop getting results and then we will have to take a closer look at your diet, including calories, but that's something to deal with later. When you eat out recognizing how much food is too much is more applicable anyway since you never really know what evil the kitchen has added to perfectly fine ingredients for presentation or taste benefits.

Are you stretching your back? Right after your cardio is a great time to stretch, especially anything that feels tight.

[SeanDon]

So iv'e made a bit of a newbie mistake, and i'm affected by the scale. Today is Sunday, and its 3 days before i'm actually supposed to weigh in, and i'm at 130.3kg

Yesterday i was 130.3 - 130.9kg. But i weighed 3 or 4 times and hit 130.9kg a lot more. Last week i was 130.3-130.9kg, again with the 130.9kg being more prevalent. Anyways i was hoping to get in to the 129+kg range by this wednesday, and i knowi probably will, but still, i've gone and frustrated myself a bit because of it.

I'm not sure what i could be doing wrong at this point. I work out twice a day, my meals are spaced out and not unhealthy. Even my free days are getting smaller as a result of me being more concerned about not stunting my progress.....although it was jana's birthday and i had a few beers, as i mentioned. I don't know. Maybe thats the problem.

If i'm not 129.++kg by wednesday though i think i'm going postal.

[Be-Be]

Oh, please get over yourself. (Visualize me rolling my eyes.) Go back up and read some of my previous posts that your OBVIOUSLY skipped. Your body will lose more sometimes and less sometimes and you will just have to deal with natural fluctuations in metabolism, water weight, hormones, salt retention, etc. As you lose fat, you will fluctuate less but right now you'll just have to lean on some of your hard won maturity and realize that you are doing what you need to and your body isn't a spreadsheet that you can program to lose a certain amount every single day or week.

Okay, lecture over.

Is this pity party really about the scale or is it part of the grieving over your broken relationship? Keep in mind that any death, even that of a romantic relationship, will cause depression, anger, yearning, and dispair. Grief is an important and necessary reaction that eventually leads to emotional healing so hang in there while you figure out how to live with the loss.

Nutritionally, a change you might consider is with your carbs. Try to get more vegetables and fewer startches for your carb servings. That means to cut back on bread, rice, oats, white potatoes, etc - especially as the day progresses - and include more vegetables such as sweet potatoes, spinach, broccoli, tomatoes and onions. For instance, at dinner you can have a lean protein, salad with olive oil vinigrette dressing and cooked broccoli. Or when you make your stirfry, add more veges and cut down on the rice. At Subway, you can have a side salad or ask for tons of veges (and iceburg lettuce doesn't count as anything) and discard half of the bun. Don't try to change everything right away, just start thinking about how you could incorporate the change and then experient.

[ScottC]

Oh, please get over yourself. (Visualize me rolling my eyes.) Go back up and read some of my previous posts that your OBVIOUSLY skipped. Your body will lose more sometimes and less sometimes and you will just have to deal with natural fluctuations in metabolism, water weight, hormones, salt retention, etc. As you lose fat, you will fluctuate less but right now you'll just have to lean on some of your hard won maturity and realize that you are doing what you need to and your body isn't a spreadsheet that you can program to lose a certain amount every single day or week.
I agree with Be-Be, you have to relax and quit obsessing over the scale.

On the plan I am on now, I have to weigh myself twice a day to see how I hold water. I bacame obsessive over my p.m. weights because I though they were 'too high.' I started to slow my water intake, having meals earlier, etc., basically messing with my plan for something which didn't matter. I had to slap myself in the face to bring myself back to reality. During the day my weight fluctuates up to 5lbs or over 2kg.

My "official" weigh in weight for the week is never my 'heaviest' weight of the week. My weight will fluctuate a couple few pounds. This week for example I had an almost 5lb difference in my weight on Thursday from Monday because I had pizza Wednesday night.

Thing is, I know you know all this from your previous efforts. Take a deep breath & relax. :)

[SeanDon]

Lol!

I'm sorry if i came across like i was having a pity party. I was just in a bad mood this morning. See i know when i look at the scale that it deosn't mean a whole lot, but i do enjoy tangible results, so when i see a number go down i'm fairly happy about it. I do know things are working just by the way the clothes are fitting, etc.

As for being upset about my relationship - thats a given. I want to improve myself especially now that i'm single, i want results, so i dont end up alone. I know its about confidence, etc. but the thing is i dont have self confidence when i'm not the way i want to look - i think thats also a given.

Sorry i didn't mean to put across that i was whining because i'm really not. Actually i kept repeating what you yourself told me Be-Be, in the posts that i actually DIDN'T skip ;) which was that "sometimes your body shrinks but the scale stays the same" .

so i'm fine ;)

[SeanDon]

I just went back and re-read most of this journal and i noticed that i was bitching about scale weight back then too. Be-Be actually lectured me on it back then too! lol. She said "your weight will continue to fluctuate, and until you can come to terms with that - OFF THE SCALE!"

Lets say i know you're right, and i've always known it, so i'm going to stop being a little baby about it. I gotta say though, that my determination/dedication this time around is leaps and bounds above what i was before. I was making excuses all the time about why i ate wrong or why this and why that. Now i'm just doing it.

Glad thats come around. I hate whiners, and to see how bad i was is enough to make me cringe in disgust. It also proves that my freeday is important, because i was cheating on my diet back then ALL the time. horrible really.

I also gave LQ my word i would do this right. He's probably long gone, but even though i'm 2 years late in my promise, i intend to keep it. Actually i don't intend to, i just will, period.

[Be-Be]

Good boy. Old habits are hard to break but you're doing fine.

And if you continue to develop a positive personality and strong character (along with a slimmed down, muscled up physique), you won't be alone forever. This is actually a good time for you to have some "me" time to concentrate on becoming the person that you want to be - both physically and mentally.

I find focusing on exercise helps me stay motivated because exercise is about "I can" and dieting is all about "I can't". (Which is why I've been going crazy over the last two months with all my injuries.)

[SeanDon]

yeah i get what you're saying. Although my diet for me is cake now (no pun intended) that i have a scheduled day off. Never thought it'd make that much of a difference to be honest but it does.

By the way i weighed myself 6 times today just for kicks, all at the same time, i went from 129.8-130.2....so basically thats 12kg lost. .4 fluctuation is nothing really :). It'll be sweet because i think for my official weigh in (wednesday morning for me) i'll be permanently in the 129+ range instead of bouncing in to 130.

feels good! :P

[SeanDon]

Hola. Today is tuesday.....i weighed in at 129.5kg. I know that on my freeday it'll shoot over 130kg again but since that means nothing, i'm just happy that i'm now permanently in the 120+++ range :).

I went from 141kg 6 weeks ago to 129.5kg today. That means i took the 130's and slammed them in to the wall and beat them to death with a rubber bat, and now they're never coming back out of fear for their wellbeing. Today is also may 8th, and i took some photo's on april 8th, so i'm going to take some now and see if there's any improvement. :)

Jana still hasn't put the pictures together in photoshop for me cuz she's lazier than i was at 141. lol i'll get them eventually.

[SeanDon]

Ok people!

On april 8th i took photo's. I uploaded them here....go to post #436 for those....i forget exactly what page it is, 14 or 15.....you'll see i posted 3 photo's. One from the front, one from the side, and one of me with my shirt on.

Today is may 8th. Jana may not have completed the photo comparison thing for me (i'm horrible at photoshop) but i have new photo's that i just took and i see a rather huge difference. You can even compare these to the ones of me in the first post of this thread. I'm 3kg heavier today than i was in the pics at the start of the thread, and i look a lot better.

here they are:

[ScottC]

Ok people!

On april 8th i took photo's. I uploaded them here....go to post #436 for those....i forget exactly what page it is, 14 or 15.....you'll see i posted 3 photo's. One from the front, one from the side, and one of me with my shirt on.

Today is may 8th. Jana may not have completed the photo comparison thing for me (i'm horrible at photoshop) but i have new photo's that i just took and i see a rather huge difference. You can even compare these to the ones of me in the first post of this thread. I'm 3kg heavier today than i was in the pics at the start of the thread, and i look a lot better.
Nice job Sean! Keep up the good work! :)

I didn't check, but have you posted these to your BodySpace profile? There you can post your pics and it makes it easier to do comparisons. If you haven't, those pics will be good to have as your [now] Before pics.

I recently posted my pics to my BodySpace. Check them out, if you like.

[SeanDon]

Hey scott!

I tried looking at your photo's but i couldn't load them, but i blame that on my internet. It's been screwy lately. I'll definitely check them out.

As for my pics - i don't want to load anything til i'm near presentable. If you compare my april 8th pics with my may 8th ones tho, its quite impressive for a one month change i think. I'm pretty happy with the way working out twice a day is going for me. Plus my diet is in check....and this is all with a free day a week! its insane. I'm loving it, lol.

[ScottC]

As for my pics - i don't want to load anything til i'm near presentable.
Do you clean your house up a bit before the cleaning lady comes, too? ;) :D

You should have that "before" pic, imo. I wish I had something from when I was 264lbs, and not just 204lbs, as my starting pic.

[SeanDon]

I don't know which i'd use as my before one though, lol. The ones i uploaded today i look better than all the others in, but the ones i look the worst in are 2 years old. Hard to tell really :)

June 14th is the end of my first 12 week cycle, then i take a 3 day break from diet/training just to recoup....so i'll post before/after for my first 12 week cycle at that point. sound fair? lol.

[ScottC]

I don't know which i'd use as my before one though, lol. The ones i uploaded today i look better than all the others in, but the ones i look the worst in are 2 years old. Hard to tell really :)

June 14th is the end of my first 12 week cycle, then i take a 3 day break from diet/training just to recoup....so i'll post before/after for my first 12 week cycle at that point. sound fair? lol.
Fair enough...:)

[SeanDon]

By the way scott thank you so much for your support. I don't have a lot of people posting in this thread anymore, for understandable reasons...either they weren't around 2 years ago or they dont really believe in me anymore i guess....and i just appreciate you sticking around.

I've been at it for 6 weeks and 4 days now, and i'm never stopping. I know i have a bit of a hurdle during the summer, but i'll deal with it when i get there....either way this lifestyle is just that - a lifestyle.

One thing i learned when my relationship blew up in my face, and all my future plans changed in one day, and my depression has been killing me is that the ONLY thing i can control, ever, is myself. I can't control my gf, i can't control my family, or the people that hate me, or the troubles in my life....but i can control my own body, my own mind and my own being. I train because at the end of the day, i'm better than i was yesterday, no matter what. I'm in love with it, and training for me is the biggest release.....I want to cry a lot these days, because i'm a little sensitive...instead i train. I think of how i'll feel next year. I think of how jacked i'll be in 4 years.

Gives me hope.

[Be-Be]

Greetings from the great swamp formerly known as the central US. But at least none of the tornadoes came close to where I am and the creek in my back yard has stopped rising.

Now, where to start.

I'm definitely seeing more muscle mass in your new pictures. A little more going on in the shoulders. Work on your posture, it will help strengthen your upper back and core while stretching out your chest.


I don't know which i'd use as my before one though, lol. The ones i uploaded today i look better than all the others in, but the ones i look the worst in are 2 years old.

I didn't take any real before pictures when I was at my worst but now when I show people what I looked like before, I find the absolute worst one so that I look even better by comparison. I don't think I've ever shown anyone my in-between photo which is my "official" before photo.


June 14th is the end of my first 12 week cycle, then i take a 3 day break from diet/training just to recoup
Great plan

Regarding your last post, if your life is anything like most peoples, you will find that life throws unexpected changes at you more often then you would like. Best case scenario when fate sends you to your knees with a sucker punch is that you learn to accept what you cannot control and continue to make the best life possible in the new circumstances. (One of those character building things, I suppose.) Worst case scenario, you give up and become a miserable person that no one wants to be around or you become one of those control freaks who drive themselves crazy trying to control what can't be controled. (And then we read about you in the news and shake our heads - he was such a nice guy; kept to himself.) Keep hanging in there and soon there will be more good days than bad.

[SeanDon]

yeah i was thinking of getting a prayer tattooed on my arm actually....i've wanted to for a few years. I used to think the idea was corny but it really does work for me when i read it.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

sometimes i forget to say it to myself....but it works when i do. I also know i have to roll with the punches and get over them, its just that sometimes reason falls second to emotion, even if only for a short while.

i'll be alright :)

[ScottC]

By the way scott thank you so much for your support. I don't have a lot of people posting in this thread anymore, for understandable reasons...either they weren't around 2 years ago or they dont really believe in me anymore i guess....and i just appreciate you sticking around.

I've been at it for 6 weeks and 4 days now, and i'm never stopping. I know i have a bit of a hurdle during the summer, but i'll deal with it when i get there....either way this lifestyle is just that - a lifestyle.

One thing i learned when my relationship blew up in my face, and all my future plans changed in one day, and my depression has been killing me is that the ONLY thing i can control, ever, is myself. I can't control my gf, i can't control my family, or the people that hate me, or the troubles in my life....but i can control my own body, my own mind and my own being. I train because at the end of the day, i'm better than i was yesterday, no matter what. I'm in love with it, and training for me is the biggest release.....I want to cry a lot these days, because i'm a little sensitive...instead i train. I think of how i'll feel next year. I think of how jacked i'll be in 4 years.

Gives me hope.
Hey Sean, it has taken me a long time to learn I only have control over myself. Long gone are the days of relationships, but today I have the never ending saga of my son who has what is classified at a catastrophic epilepsy, and the outlook isn't the best. But, I learn to take it all one day at a time and that is all I can do. Kids who has what he has do not respond well to medication and I spend a lot of time in communication with his MDs in Chicago, but it is what it is and I have learned to accept it. It makes life that much easier.

The Serenity Prayer you posted works...I know it well. ;)

[Quickxi]

Hola. Today is tuesday.....i weighed in at 129.5kg. I know that on my freeday it'll shoot over 130kg again but since that means nothing, i'm just happy that i'm now permanently in the 120+++ range :).

I went from 141kg 6 weeks ago to 129.5kg today. That means i took the 130's and slammed them in to the wall and beat them to death with a rubber bat, and now they're never coming back out of fear for their wellbeing. Today is also may 8th, and i took some photo's on april 8th, so i'm going to take some now and see if there's any improvement. :)

Jana still hasn't put the pictures together in photoshop for me cuz she's lazier than i was at 141. lol i'll get them eventually.

"Slammed them in to the wall and beat them to death with a rubber bat..."
Awesome job. Keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to the comparison pictures...

[SeanDon]

so its 2pm on my freeday....i started my freeday last night (stupid but i couldn't sleep) and i had mcdonalds, lol. Today i had these noodles i'm craving, and now i'm cutting my day short. For one i had the mcdonalds last night, late night, and ended up falling asleep eventually, so that certainly wasn't good....but the reason i'm cutting it short is i feel absolutely horrible.

My god my stomach hasn't stopped aching since i woke up at 9:30. I feel dizzy, i'm getting heat waves, i've had to use the bathroom 7 times since i woke up (sorry , but its true).

Definitely cutting this free day short. I think perhaps my body is officially giving up on taking any ****ty food at all. Can't say thats a bad thing. Feeling this ****ty after eating a supposedly "Free meal" certainly doesn't make me look forward to it half as much.

i wore a shirt out the house today that i haven't been able to wear in ages. It's still not perfectly baggy the way i like it, but i could wear it and not feel totally uncomfortable. It was literally so tight before that i couldn't get it completely on....feels great to see changes :)

So i have a goal. A new one that is. But this one doesn't have anything to do with scale weight or anything.....I'm going away this summer as you all know, and i'm actually moving back to canada immediately from Europe. So i wont ever be back where i am now (kinda sad, kind of scary, and kind of annoying because it'll be a bit of a hiccup in my routine. I plan on doing bodyweight exercises and maintaining my diet perfectly, save for one or two dinners with jana's family in europe). So anyways, my goal is to be in size 42 pants comfortably by the time it rolls around. I'm in 44 now. I have about....2 and a half months until i leave. That gives me plenty of time....heck maybe i'll make 40, but i dont want to aim so high and be disappointed, so 42 is the goal. I like my pants baggy, so its definitely a decent goal to aim for :).

Hey opinions - How long would you assume it'd take to get quite buff? skelooth's level is what i'm aiming for to start with for sure....I'd guess maybe 2 years?

maybe a bit more...who knows :) it'll be fun as hell achieving it though.

[SeanDon]

well jana's been busy lately so i decided i would give this a shot myself. I made some comparison shots.

The before pictures in this set were taken on april 8th, 2007. The after pictures in this set were taken on may 8th, 2007.


Sorry if they're not perfect, lol, i tried.

[SeanDon]

so i took a nap and when i woke up i had this nasty craving for this dish they make here, just by my place. At first i ignored it, but then i figured its my freeday and i had better get the cravings out of my system....I think i ate a little much this freeday, but its definitely not something i intend to keep doing. I believe i'm going to cut it down to a free half day from now on. Eventually i'll move it to a free meal. Then eventually, in order to get to single digit % bf, which i'll probably have to do in order to lose some loose skin, i'll just cut free meals for a little while.

Man i love bodybuilding. Lol.

[Be-Be]

so its 2pm on my freeday....i started my freeday last night (stupid but i couldn't sleep) and i had mcdonalds, lol. Today i had these noodles i'm craving, and now i'm cutting my day short. For one i had the mcdonalds last night, late night, and ended up falling asleep eventually, so that certainly wasn't good....but the reason i'm cutting it short is i feel absolutely horrible.
Been there. Eventually you'll have the cravings but the food won't taste good and then the cravings will go away. Mostly go away. Every so often I forget and have to have some fast food and then I'm wondering why I ever ate that crap. People make fun of me because I pack a lunch when traveling instead of just eating at a convientent chain but it is truly what I want.


Definitely cutting this free day short. I think perhaps my body is officially giving up on taking any ****ty food at all. Can't say thats a bad thing. Feeling this ****ty after eating a supposedly "Free meal" certainly doesn't make me look forward to it half as much.
This is a step in being able to self-monitor your body and it's hunger. It's a good step in the right direction to having lifelong habits to keep yourself at an appropriate weight. You'll also find over time that your "free" meals end up being a lot healthier. For instance, my last free meal was a 5 oz steak, baked potato with the works and a dinner salad with regular salad dressing. Oh, and some beer. The food, though not prepared in the healthiest way, did have nutritional value (especially when compared to, say, McDonalds). And I ended up only eating half the potato and salad so overall my calories weren't super high.


i wore a shirt out the house today that i haven't been able to wear in ages. ...feels great to see changes
I know that feeling - I still surprise myself sometimes when I pull out a shirt and think "no way does that fit" and then it does! I can see in your comparison pictures that you have definitely lost around the waist.


So i have a goal. A new one that is. But this one doesn't have anything to do with scale weight or anything.....my goal is to be in size 42 pants comfortably by the time it rolls around.
This is very good. It's realistic and gives you something to focus on when the scale isn't cooperating. ;)


Hey opinions - How long would you assume it'd take to get quite buff? skelooth's level is what i'm aiming for to start with for sure....I'd guess maybe 2 years?
Could be 2 years, could be more, could be less. You can't compare your journey to someone elses. Live the present (rather then the past or future) and do the best you can every day and you will be successful in the right amount of time for you.

So, I'm curious - why Canada?

[SeanDon]

Hey Be-Be :)

Well....I'm Canadian. My entire life i've lived abroad....I was born in Hong Kong, i spent my childhood and my late teens till present in singapore, i spent 3 years from when i was 14-17 in korea and japan respectively, and i've never stayed in my own "home" country for more than 3 months at a time.

The stress of living overseas is quite daunting. I'm not allowed to work (illegal to work while you study here, which is flat out stupid), i'm not allowed to rent my own place, i'm not able to do anything that defines being an adult, and i'm 23 years old. Basically my resume right now sucks. I did odd jobs here and there for a day or two, and i made some money with music, but aside from that i've never had a real 9-5 or any real responsibility on my own.

I'm sick of it. I stayed here this long because i'm completely an advanced diploma in media arts with a major in electrosonics. Essentially i'm doing audio work - and now that i'm finally finishing it, i'm not even sure its what i really want, lol.

Canada to me means this: No worry about working, No worry about whether the government will take care of me as a citizen, i get free health care, i get access to a new and different environment, and i get to finally do what i always wanted to do - start a business. It's definitely something i'm excited about, but also a little scared of.

You also learn from living overseas and travelling a lot, that a Canadian passport is like gold. I can go anywhere with minimal resistance or issue. pretty sweet.

[ScottC]

Nice comparison pics. Definately notice in the side views. Good job! :)


You will miss the foods when you are gone, Sean. I don't have a lot f long term international experience, but moving from a vary ethnically mixed neighborhood in Chicago to a small town area with little ethnic variety has me craving things like sushi, Thai, Persian, real Chinese, not just a "Chinese" buffet. Thankfully I found a good Mexican place. ;)

[DJohnson]

Hey Sean. I totally feel ya with how your body reacted to the crappy food. You'll find as time goes on your cheats become more and more healthy because you keep on learning and refining the difference between what just tastes good and what will taste good but also make you feel good. It's great to have a cheat meal of say steak and potatos instead of some fried chicken because both will taste great but the steak and potatos will leave you feeling great for the rest of the day as well.

I think you'd be very satisified with the progress you could make in two years. Go for it and lets see how it works out. :D

You lost a good amount of fat in the last month. Definitely work on the posture though. Being overweight really wrecks your posture and out of personal experience I know it is tough to fix and takes a long time. You don't want to be skinny with bad posture because it looks much more obvious then.

Oh yeah, and welcome back to Canada. ;)

[SeanDon]

Hey Djohnson :P

I'm trying to do what you and Be-Be have said about working on my posture. I stood in front of the mirror trying to figure out how to stand better, lol. The thing is i almost look like i'm faking it or something when i stand dead straight. And my back has that natural curve at the top.

I really hope that with my concentrated efforts along with the weight training help to fix my posture problem, because i agree with you guys entirely about it.

DJohnson! I've never been to Alberta. Maybe when i'm in a black tank top and looking fairly jacked i can hop on over there, and we can celebrate with a week of dizzily intensified workouts! lol. We could both wear shirts of our before pics on the front while we work out. When people come up like "omgz dudes did yoo lose teh weightz?" we can show em a thumbs up and chime in "you can do it too!" at the same time.

yeah. overactive imagination.

Seriously though maybe i'll hunt you down in 2 years when i'm jacked and in need of a torture workout. :)

[Be-Be]

I'm trying to do what you and Be-Be have said about working on my posture. I stood in front of the mirror trying to figure out how to stand better, lol. The thing is i almost look like i'm faking it or something when i stand dead straight. And my back has that natural curve at the top.
You back does NOT have a natural curve at the top. It is an unnatural curve from slopply posture, weak back muscles and tight chest muscles. And it will feel weird to stand up straight for awhile because you haven't done it in about 10 years.

The best way to line up your posture right is to stand against a wall so that your glutes, shoulder and head are touching the wall. Don't hold your abs in but do slightly engage them. (Good thing to do all the time - it will pay off when the flab is gone and you already have some abs.) Think about aligning you ears, shoulders, hips, and ankles. Then step away from the wall and keep the same posture. Do that several times a day. Also, whenever you are lifting, make sure that you hold your head up. I'd be willing to bet that you let your head fall forward 90% of the time. So keep your head raised into neutral alignment with your spine on all exercises - it also helps you to breathe better.

I like the idea of you moving to Canada to start your new life. New place, new attitude - you can be whoever you want to be - including the healthy, muscular guy in the black tank top.

[DJohnson]

Seriously though maybe i'll hunt you down in 2 years when i'm jacked and in need of a torture workout. :)

Sounds good. :D

[SeanDon]

so it was about 4am wednesday night/thursday morning, and i just could NOT get to sleep. So i decided screw sleep, and i got up and did my cardio. It was pretty good.....i hate breakfast after (2 eggs, 4 slices turkey bacon, multivitamin, 2 fish oil capsules) and then finally about an hour later i fell asleep.

I had my first nightmare, ever. lol. don't know if thats related. I decided to do my cardio that late/early because i knew i had to go out pretty quick today, and as a matter of fact i'm leaving in 2 minutes as i type this. Gonna have to eat out again today, but i've done it healthily many times. They have this new place that opened that serves healthy food...i usually get rosemary chicken sandwhiches on wheat bread. Well sandwhich, but they cut them in two, hence the plural, lol.

Anyways just wanted to chime in before i get goin. take care.

[Be-Be]

i hate breakfast after.
You hate breakfast? But its such a nice breakfast. What did it ever do to you? :)

[SeanDon]

LOL Be-Be. I hate it when i don't notice things like that before i submit my post. You got me ;)

So today was pretty good....i just got done working out. Its one of my better workouts for the arm/shoulder day. I had no energy by the end...i could only muster up the strength to do 20 tricep dips in total, so tomorrow night when i do my chest/back, i'm going to do my tricep workout too.

I was literally out the whole day today......i visited subway twice. First time i got a roasted chicken breast on whole wheat, 6 inch. Second time i opted for the salad because too much of that subway bread is never a good thing. Was a good salad too.

There was one meal i had that i'm a little iffy about. I made sure to have it as my pre-workout meal. I went home and worked out maybe 2 hours or so after i ate it....probably a little too late after the meal but just the same. I ate at that healthy restaurant where they prepare everythign fairly healthy....so what i had was this:

1 tomato basil soup. It was a huge bowl, so i didn't eat all of it. Trying to manage proper portions :)

Red seafood pasta. This was basically shrimp, squid and some grilled fish, with linguine pasta, in a tomato basil sauce. The only thing i'm a little iffy about is that i dont know EXACTLY what is in the sauce, and the pasta was regular white pasta. I didn't eat the whole bowl, but i finished all the meat, and i had a fair share of the pasta. This restaurant is known as the healthy place to eat, so i know they dont use oil and other crap in their sauces, which is why i went with the meal in the first place.

Anyways i got moderately paranoid and we went to starbucks where i had myself a regular plain coffee, nothing in it, etc. Just plain. I figure hey, boost my metabolism a bit with the caffeine, lol.

So yeah now i'm home, just worked out. Going to have a shower right now and make myself a lean cuisine meal and a protein shake. Good times.

By the way as of tomorrow i have 5 weeks left on my first 12 week cycle. 2 years ago i only lasted 5 weeks in total. I've definitely changed. definitely. I really can't wait to look the way i'm living. I desire the buffness :) and black tank tops.

[_NimbusTim_]

Congrats on the progress so far. Keep at it, and it WILL pay off.

Tim

[SeanDon]

Congrats on the progress so far. Keep at it, and it WILL pay off.

Tim

thank you!

keeping it up for life. :) .

[DJohnson]

Second time i opted for the salad because too much of that subway bread is never a good thing. Was a good salad too.

Good call, I'm not a fan of that subway bread either. :D


I really can't wait to look the way i'm living. I desire the buffness :) and black tank tops.

Yeah, thats exactly what it boils down to. Something in you just snaps and you can't live the life you used to and then you have to wait for your body to catch up. :D


And yikes, how much do you spend a month eating out?

[SeanDon]

I actually buy food on a daily basis. So if i know i'm going to be out the next day, i don't buy groceries for that day. So instead of spending double, i'm still spending roughly the same amount per meal.

I don't particularly like eating out that much, but i live way in the outskirts and when i go to town to hang out, i can't always pack something :P

I'm hoping int he next 2 1/2 months of training i can get a somewhat flatter stomach. Like significantly. Definitely not toned or anything like that...but i'd rather be referred to as "chubby" instead of obese :). I just don't want to go to europe uncomfortable.

[SeanDon]

Nice comparison pics. Definately notice in the side views. Good job! :)


You will miss the foods when you are gone, Sean. I don't have a lot f long term international experience, but moving from a vary ethnically mixed neighborhood in Chicago to a small town area with little ethnic variety has me craving things like sushi, Thai, Persian, real Chinese, not just a "Chinese" buffet. Thankfully I found a good Mexican place. ;)


Oh man i know. I love the food in Singapore. It's absolutely golden. Perhaps thats why i shot up to 310lbs, no? lol. Honestly another good thing about moving to canada is that all the foods i crave will be a trillion miles away. I don't ever crave "western" style food. Coming to terms with the fact that potatoes are a staple as opposed to rice, is difficult for me to comprehend.

The reason i eat rice in this diet in the first place is because thats literally what you do here. If i don't have some version of rice (usually) in a meal, i feel like i didn't have a proper meal. Of course all that is changing. I've cut down on the rice a lot since last week...not entirely intentionally, but basically because i'm trying to figure out how to make proper meals without it.

I'm excited for the prospect of a new life i guess. But right now i'm also really hurting at the loss of certain things i was really hoping for in the future. I hope that i find something similar sometime later....i'm not exactly the player type of guy, and i'm very committed to the relationship that i'm in. In 4 years i've never lied to her (really), never even thought of cheating....and when i had a girl ambush me and strip down (long story, lol) i told her to go home. I guess i'm saying all this because the future is bleak without that aspect for me.

Sorry for the emo rant. Just watched a sad movie so its one of those moments, lol.

OH speaking of movies. I bought some organic pop corn from the store...its just the popping corn itself. I haven't used it...it's just been sitting there for about a week now because i really don't know when i'd be able to. If i work out at night, and have my post workout meal, then wait say an hour, could i make a small portion of that and not have it be a huge deal? Or should i not bother? lol.

Ah well.

[Be-Be]

Coming to terms with the fact that potatoes are a staple as opposed to rice, is difficult for me to comprehend.
Potatoes are a staple? I'm from Irish decent and live in the US Midwest and potatoes aren't even a staple for me. It seems that pasta is much more relevant to most "normal" people meals unless you count french fries and potato chips. Don't know about Canada but I live on the outskirts of KC and even I live within 10 minutes of at least 1 thai, 1 indian, 2 mongolian bbq, and several sushi/japanese resturaunts in addition to the steakhouses, mexican, itialian, chinese, sandwich shops, and barbeque places. (And don't forget the chains, both fast food and casual dining.) Not too much farther away are the more ethnic neighborhoods. I know it won't be the same, but if you are going to be in one of the bigger cities, which I assume you will because of your degree, you should have more choices than baked or fried potatoes. And you can always learn to cook your favorite dishes and even get authentic ingredients online.

BTW - I have at least 5 kinds of rice plus a couple kinds of couscous in my cupboard but no potatoes.


I'm excited for the prospect of a new life i guess. But right now i'm also really hurting at the loss of certain things i was really hoping for in the future. I hope that i find something similar sometime later....i'm not exactly the player type of guy, and i'm very committed to the relationship that i'm in. In 4 years i've never lied to her (really), never even thought of cheating....and when i had a girl ambush me and strip down (long story, lol) i told her to go home. I guess i'm saying all this because the future is bleak without that aspect for me.
I'll let you in on a secret. Instead of thinking of what you don't have or thinking of what you want in a negative way; think emphatically and in a positive way, with complete certainy that you'll get it, of what you want and it will happen. For instance: Negative: "I want to lose weight". This sets you up to always need to lose weight - you are focusing on the problem. Instead focus on your perfect weight. Feel the feelings of your perfect weight.

Another example: Negative: "I am afraid I will always be alone; no one will ever love me". Guess what this sets up. Instead, make sure your thoughts, words, actions and surroundings match your desire to attract a relationship. But remember that you have to treat yourself with love and respect to attract love and respect. Do this by focusing on the qualities you love about yourself. Unless you fill yourself up first, you have nothing to give anybody.

I've used this technique for everything from keeping myself from getting tied up in traffic or waiting in lines to getting money to having a cancer issue become "benign". (And that one was only 2 days ago.) Another example, a few weeks ago I thought that it would be nice to be posting on bb.com but I didn't really want to form a new relationship. In less than a week, you pm'ed me. :)

You're already half way there with your positive attitude - just keep working on thinking positive thoughts about what you do want instead of what you don't.

[SeanDon]

Be-Be, that makes sense :P

Lol i weighed myself today out of curiosity and i'm 131.6kg. Ouch. Water weight blues.

Going to take it easy on the freeday from now on, lol. I bet its the mcdonalds that did it to. Mcdonaldsodium.

I was going to try and not weigh myself until next wednesday morning, but i wanted to see the effects of that freeday on my weight. I suppose just for kicks. The freeday was two days ago though, so that numbers a little high, lol. It better disappear in the next 2 or 3 days or my body and i will be having a little chat about how its acting.

Anyways i'm off to do some cardio and eat breakfast. Which i dont hate. I've come to terms with the fact that breakfast has never done any harm to me, so why hate him.

[SeanDon]

Ouch. I did 3 minutes of cardio and i just could *not* be bothered. I don't know what happened to me today but it wasn't pretty. I was feeling pretty bad, but i made some eggs, turkey bacon and had 2 rice cakes (32g carbs altogether) and i'm feeling a bit better. Also took my multivitamin and 2 fish oil capsules.

I'm definitely weightlifting tonight, as planned....the weightlifting is never a problem for me. But damn i hope this cardio crap was just today, because i was really really not motivated to do it. at all. lol. Guess everyone has a hiccup. First cardio session i've flat out skipped in 7 weeks.

[ScottC]

Ouch. I did 3 minutes of cardio and i just could *not* be bothered. I don't know what happened to me today but it wasn't pretty. I was feeling pretty bad, but i made some eggs, turkey bacon and had 2 rice cakes (32g carbs altogether) and i'm feeling a bit better. Also took my multivitamin and 2 fish oil capsules.

I'm definitely weightlifting tonight, as planned....the weightlifting is never a problem for me. But damn i hope this cardio crap was just today, because i was really really not motivated to do it. at all. lol. Guess everyone has a hiccup. First cardio session i've flat out skipped in 7 weeks.
Maybe you will better enough later to squeeze in 20-30 minutes of cardio after you lift? See what happens...

[Be-Be]

lol - mcdonaldsodium. We have a subway commercial here where a couple goes up to a drive-in and orders stuff like "I'd like an order of flab with a side of jiggly thighs". They are pretty funny.

Your lack of motivation could be a sign of overtraining. The most common symptoms are feelings of heaviness and the inability to perform well and concentrate. Working out is a struggle instead of a joy. Other symptoms are an elevated resting heart rate or blood pressure; generalized body aches and pain, head colds or allergic reactions; nausea; incrased tension; anger irritability; sleep disturbances (nightmare?); unusual muscle soreness and tenderness; cutting sessions short; fatigue lingers during workout and throughout the day; recovery takes longer. Worse case scenario, you plateau and your performance could worsen or you could hurt yourself. Yuck!

If what you are experiencing now is short term and dissipates before the next training session, you're probably okay. But keep an eye on of the symptoms - this is one of the things that some people use their workout journal for. Symptoms are usually relieved with rest, a light day (sometimes it takes several days) of no training or with a focus on stretching and relaxation and proper nutrition. If possible, you can also try to introduce some variety into your workout.

[Be-Be]

[QUOTE=SeanDon;41940001]I was going to try and not weigh myself until next wednesday morning, but i wanted to see the effects of that freeday on my weight. I suppose just for kicks. The freeday was two days ago though, so that numbers a little high, lol. It better disappear in the next 2 or 3 days or my body and i will be having a little chat about how its acting. [QUOTE]
Good attitude! Gold star for SeanDon!

Do you have access to a sauna? They are good for sweating out the sodium and associated bloat.

[Be-Be]

Another thing occurs to me about your heavier scale reading. You could be constapated. Your intestines could be sluggish and holding up to a couple pounds. Drink plenty of water and make sure you are getting at least 25 grams of fiber a day to help things, um, move along.

[SeanDon]

hey Be-Be.

I'm pretty sure its just because i ate way too much on my freeday. Which makes what i'm about to say sound a lot worse. But i just had one of the worst days emotionally in my life today, and my diet was shot to **** later. Not because i was hellbent on eating a lot, but because i ate nothing, and then when i did eat, it was bad because it was convenient. At this point i really don't care either. I know today is shot, but i'm right back on it tomorrow.

Today really sucked. I'm not going to type out the whole sob story about what happened to me because it still gets to me and its just not going to help me move along any quicker. But whatever - it happened. So the day is shot, and the diet/workout didn't happen. First time i've encountered this, this time around....hopefully the last for a long long time.

I was thinking of pooling some of my funds together and dedicating my first 6 months in canada to 100% diet/training. I have a little bit saved from random jobs/here and there, and it'll be a little bit tight trying to live without working, but for some reason i feel compelled to dedicate 100% of my energy to this, because then even for work related issues, i'll be in a much better place when i'm looking a lot better.

what do you guys think? Oh and, we all have bad days. Today was my worst. I'd rather just let it bury itself and move along with life.

[DJohnson]

It happens Sean, like you said, you just gotta get back on it tommorow.

Oh, and if I've learned anything, it is that you can't try "line up" everything for your weight loss. It gives you an excuse to not do it right now. I think you should find a job when you get to Canada, none of this "dedicate my first 6 months in canada to 100% diet/training".

[SeanDon]

No i meant on top of doing it right now. As in i continue training as i have been, but then when i get there ijust focus on finishing it properly without all the stress of outside crap getting in the way.

but at the same time work is kind of important so i don't know.

[Be-Be]

I agree with , DJ. Life will always find a way to jack up your working out and eating right plans. Don't take the 6 months off because odds are it won't work out like you plan and then you'll be even more frustrated. I took 3 months off last year and it didn't do me a bit of good. Typically, the busier people are, the more they get done. You just have to stay flexible while keeping your fitness goals a priority.

Anyway, you know as well as I do not to make a decision like that on a day like this. You want to pull back and hide from all the bad stuff but hiding is not how to live a life. Give yourself permission to wallow today, then back on the horse tomorrow. Having a bad day is okay - it's how you deal with it that shows your character and strength. And you're doing great so far.

I thought of something else to help you with your posture. Some people find it helps to walk backwards a few minutes every day on the treadmill.

[SeanDon]

yeah 2 bad days from being miserable. I'm going to extend my 12 week cycle by 1 week, and extend my freeday to sundays. Its saturday now, but thats 2 days of crap.

I've never been this depressed. At least not in a long time. Its no excuse to let myself fall off though. I'm going to workout in a few minutes and get back on the diet right this second. Only i can control myself, and controlling myself is the only thing i can do. Just wish feeling like **** wasn't a part of the package of life.

[SeanDon]

DJohnson, everytime i feel like quitting i think of you. Just thought you should know that. I really appreciate everyones support, and Be-Be is above and beyond great, but for some reason i keep reminding myself of what you've done. I guess even though i'm bigger than you from the start, knowing that you did it makes me realise i can do it.

[heathershubby]

what part of canada are you from?

[SeanDon]

Hey man,

I'm actually .....see its hard to explain. I was born in Hong Kong, grew up in Singapore, Japan, Korea and Singapore again. Never lived in Canada. But if i were to go by my parents and my family, i'd say BC. I'm moving to Vancouver.

I just did my chest workout tonight and had a protein shake. Back on track after about 24 hours of not eating a whole lot, but havign one big meal when i did eat. Depression needs to be bashed in with a stick.

my bench press went up by 5kg, and i figured out how to configure my bench to do inclines now...those were lighter than my regular cuz i had just done a whole set of regular bench presses, so i was sort of tired.

[heathershubby]

Way to get back on track bro and you won't have to worry about rice I went to Van a few years back and there is plenty of East culture out there and the food is the bomb the only thing you will have worry about is stopping. Good to have ya comming home.

p.s. I was about 480 lbs when I was there and it is a very active culture people looked at me and said stuff out loud things you don't normally here in the mid west lol.

[Be-Be]

It's a vicious cycle. You're depressed so you don't eat right or exercise. And because you aren't eating right or exercising, you feel worse which make you more depressed. And since you don't feel good, you don't exercise or eat right...

Just keep forcing yourself to do the best you can with the activity and diet - you will feel better than if you did nothing (even if it doesn't feel like it at the time).

I'm struggling a bit to figure out what to say right now because three weeks ago I had a client try to kill herself. Serious attempt. If it gets that bad for you, find someone to help you.

[SeanDon]

Way to get back on track bro and you won't have to worry about rice I went to Van a few years back and there is plenty of East culture out there and the food is the bomb the only thing you will have worry about is stopping. Good to have ya comming home.

p.s. I was about 480 lbs when I was there and it is a very active culture people looked at me and said stuff out loud things you don't normally here in the mid west lol.

Hey man congrats on the weightloss so far. I'm pretty outspoken myself, so if someone were to make a rude comment i'd fire one back at em. Not too worried.

Be-Be , i have had a long history with depression, but i have logic as well....i won't kill myself.

I worked out tonight tho, felt good. back on track, no worries.

[V]

Hey man, just stopping by, saying you've made an amazing progress, a true inspiration!

[heathershubby]

LOL yeah I was tempted to but I am working on being a nicer person so I bit my tounge instead of theirs :)

Take care bro

[DJohnson]

DJohnson, everytime i feel like quitting i think of you. Just thought you should know that. I really appreciate everyones support, and Be-Be is above and beyond great, but for some reason i keep reminding myself of what you've done. I guess even though i'm bigger than you from the start, knowing that you did it makes me realise i can do it.

That means a lot to me Sean. Back when I was at my peak I was constantly questioning myself "Why bother? Is it even possible?" and I couldn't even really find someone who had done what I wanted to do. Now that I am where I am, I know for a fact that it can be done and I want everyone to know that they can do it. So many people are just resigned to the bodies they have.

There is no doubt in my mind with your current attitude that you're gonna make it, just keep at it. :D

[SeanDon]

Hey man, just stopping by, saying you've made an amazing progress, a true inspiration!

This was totally unexpected but that means so much to me. Thanks a lot! its definitely a bit of a struggle, mainly due to outside crap going on right now, but i'm learning to get a hold of it and maintain it despite these things.


Heathershubby - I tend to be very patient and very quiet. But that goes out the window if someone is like "hey fatass".

Actually there's a funny story there. Some guy i was competing against in high jump a long time ago, for school....he's like "haha i'm gonna kick your ass this year". I said "if i recall correctly, i decimated you last year". He says "yeah but you weren't such a fat cow last year were you?"

So i came first place, he came 3rd. I walked up to him later i was like "congratulations on third. How's it feel to lose to a fat cow by the way? must suck" and i walked away. Felt rather good. lol.


DJohnson - I still think those things to this day. Seeing the way you are now i'm like "wow i don't know if i could ever achieve that". I'm definitely going to try though. Even if i never see abs, i'd be happy just being muscular and having people generally know i workout instead of being the tubster :)

[SeanDon]

oh quick question guys....on monday i may be out all day and spending the night at a friends place....so i wanted to do my cardio and weightlifting at the same time before i went out. The question is A) is that smart? and B) what order would be best to do that in?

I'm not going to do 45 minutes, i'll do 30 at the most. I've actually cut back to 30 minutes cardio 5-6 times a week now, because i get results at that level, and i want somewhere to go if i hit a plateau. Anyways i figure if i do about 30 minutes low-med intensity cardio + weights its not the end of the world....or is it? lol

[Be-Be]

oh quick question guys....on monday i may be out all day and spending the night at a friends place....so i wanted to do my cardio and weightlifting at the same time before i went out. The question is A) is that smart? and B) what order would be best to do that in?

I'm not going to do 45 minutes, i'll do 30 at the most. I've actually cut back to 30 minutes cardio 5-6 times a week now, because i get results at that level, and i want somewhere to go if i hit a plateau. Anyways i figure if i do about 30 minutes low-med intensity cardio + weights its not the end of the world....or is it? lol

It's not optimal but it's better than nothing and will still get you results. Especially if it's only occassionaly. In general, which do you want more energy for? If weight loss or cardio improvement is your goal, do the cardio first. If muscle growth is your priority, do the lifting first.

Good job thinking ahead and planning.

[SeanDon]

to be honest with you i despise cardio to the core. I had to bring it back down to 30 minutes in general for 2 reasons. 1 i hate it. 2 for when i plateau.

But today is sunday and i never do cardio on sunday because i do it everyday of the week, and i'm happy. I'm lifting tonight and i actually look forward to it. I wish cardio wasn't a necessity because ogihoaih i hate it. i guess you do what you gotta do :P

[Be-Be]

The world is divided into two kinds of people. The kind that love cardio and the kind that hate it. Most people who love lifting don't care for the cardio. My solution is variety. (Well, except for the last few weeks while I've had great excuses why I can't do it. Unfortunately I'm mostly healed and have to start it again at a diminished level.) I wonder if a person's preference has to do with muscle type predominance: slow twitch prefer the cardio and fast twitch prefer lifting.

[SeanDon]

I was going over what you were saying about overtraining and i think i'm officially burnt out. My wrists consistently hurt, even when i'm not lifting. I was lifting tonight and i wanted to cry at one point because it felt like my wrist was going to break.....and this is WITH a wrist guard on. I immediately thought it must be my form, but even when taking extra care, it still hurt.

I've been a little ****ty with the diet these past 3 days too, i don't know whats wrong with me. I refuse to give up regardless of my problems, but this whole weekend is fairly bust for me. I got a couple good workouts in, except tonight i cut ti short because of my wrist.

I think it's also important to note that while i haven't eaten very well....i don't believe my calories have gone over what i need to lose weight. But my sodium and water retention is quite bad so i've shot up to 132.6kg and this is in the evening after eating a bunch, so its not at the same time that i usually weigh myself.

I'm kind of annoyed because this hit me out of the blue. I need to find a way to bring this little crap festival to an end and get back on track asap. I'm spending all day tomorrow at the pool with jana and i'm at her house, so i'll be packing my lunches and exercising all day, so i'll have no problems with diet. I think maybe getting out and just swimming and doing something like that will make me feel less stressed and bogged down by everything.

But i really do feel i'm burned out, based on your post about overtraining. I guess this is why people say to take a break every 8 weeks or so. It's been 8 weeks for me this friday. Unfortunately i dont foresee losing anything by wednesday this time around, but its ok. I just want to figure out whats going wrong with me so i can avoid it in the future.

I'm also trying to make the best of it by lifting my ass off. But my wrists...goddamn :(

[SeanDon]

The world is divided into two kinds of people. The kind that love cardio and the kind that hate it. Most people who love lifting don't care for the cardio. My solution is variety. (Well, except for the last few weeks while I've had great excuses why I can't do it. Unfortunately I'm mostly healed and have to start it again at a diminished level.) I wonder if a person's preference has to do with muscle type predominance: slow twitch prefer the cardio and fast twitch prefer lifting.

Is there a way to just not do cardio and still lose fat from lifting? lol. oh cardio woes.

[SeanDon]

ok i've been sitting here analysing what might be wrong and what led me to **** up so bad (pardon the language, but i'm frustrated).

I don't think i'm eating enough. So i'm going to try my best to figure out what i should be eating in terms of calories. I'm also going to start bringing food out with me, i'll just get a backpack to carry it around in. It'll be my version of jana's purse that she always carries around.

It doenst' make sense for me to be eating bad food that makes me feel like **** when i know i want to be a muscular beast of perfection, so i figured there had to be something making me slip like that. Only thing i can come up with is

1) i'm not eating enough
2) i need some variety in dishes.

These are generally the foods i eat/have available to me:

tuna
chicken breast/fillet
weight watchers minced beef
whole wheat pita
multigrain bread
turkey bacon
eggs
all kinds of veggies

yeah thats pretty much it.

I need to figure out how to eat enough of those foods that i'm not feeling like crap, and little enough that i'm losing fat.

[SeanDon]

Its sunday night and i'm generally feeling pretty ****ty about friday through sunday, so i'm about to do 30 mins cardio tonight. 30 mins tomorrow morning and weightlifting right after the cardio tomorrow morning....but i'm going to do light weights tomorrow, because its a one off time that i'll have that arrangement. Plus i'm swimming all day tomorrow. I dont want to burn muscle :P

A good sign is that my pants aren't getting any tighter and neither are the shirts. So even if i don't lose anything this week, i think maintaining it and fighting through the crap is a pretty cool achievement. Just that i'm never letting this happen again. I think what i'm going to do is keep everything the same, the usual. It's a 12 week cycle, and i want to record everything from the ups to the downs. This was my first and last down period in almost 8 weeks, so its ok.

My next 12 week cycle, i simply won't have any down periods. Oh except Europe :( But i won't consider that a down period, i'll consider that working with what i can. In the place i'm going for a month anda bit, there is NO mcdonalds, NO fast food crap at all...its a tiny village in croatia and i'm staying with Jana's family, so it'll be nice healthy food almost all the time. :). Can't go wrong there.

I feel guilty about telling you guys i screwed up my diet for almost 3 days, because i really don't want you to feel that i'm going to give up or that it'll be like the last time i started this journal. But i decided i wanted to be 100% honest about everything just so i'm not "lying" about it or anything like that.

I love weightlifting and i love the results i've been getting. This 3 day period is pretty crappy, but i'm trying to handle it the best i can.

[Be-Be]

I'm surprised it took this long for your first major slip up. Shows dedication. This is a speed bump so don't beat yourself up about it. They will happen periodically but the goal is to have them happen less and less until they are gone. You did a real good job up to this point. Keep thinking about ways to improve; that's a great way to deal with times like this.

Regarding the wrist guards. You shouldn't be using them yet. Your wrists are hurting because (1) they aren't getting stronger because the guards are babysitting them and (2) because of the guards, you are using more weight than your wrists can handle. This situation is serious because it can turn into a chronic problem. Though other muscles can handle it, until the muscle, tendons, and ligaments in your hands, wrists, and forearms are stronger, you should not be pushing them by using the wrist guards. I am very, very serious about this. If you don't take care of the problem, you could end up in physical therapy and derail your fitness goals for more than the time it takes to strengthen your extremities.

I know you are eager to achieve your goals, but the burnout will be less if you don't push yourself as hard and you will actually get further faster because you'll be less likely to hurt yourself.

When you are stronger (overall) and better acclimated to the stress of lifting, you'll be able to do more, push harder and use wrist guards. One thing at a time - it is a process.

Remember to listen to your body. It knows what it needs; so you need to pay attention.

[SeanDon]

ok i'll ditch the wrist guards for now....any idea when i might know i'm ready for them? I bought them mainly because for lat raises and bicep curls my wrist hurts a little bit. It's not so bad for bench pressing and all that, but i keep them on anyways.

I did 30 minutes of cardio at a fairly intense pace for myself...usually i burn 460 calories in 45 mins (according to the elliptical) but i burned 340+ in 30 minutes this time. I was goin at it kinda hard but it felt good at the end. I was on my diet today mostly, its just in the evening i slipped up (this is still the 3rd day, its not monday yet), but the thing is i slipped up after i did weight training, and then i did cardio again just now. So i sandwhiched my bad meal in between two workout sessions. Probably the best bad thing i could have done for myself given the circumstances.

I'm very determined to reach my goals. I think i've been pushing myself a little hard because workout intensity dropped yesterday, and i was a little tired sooner than i should have been. It wasn't a strength drop, my lifts haven't fallen at all, but i couldn't hold out as long for some reason.

I won't be slipping up again for a long time. I'm going to try to make it to jun 14th without a free meal/day. Because thats the day my 12 week cycle ends. Its may 14th now, so thats exactly one month away, and not hard to achieve at all i don't think. If i feel like i'm going to binge eat at some point i'm going to schedule a free meal, but thats a last minute measure to save myself from screwing up like i did this weekend.

overall i'd say i'm doing an ok job. But i only have 2 1/2 months to get in to as decent shape as possible for my holiday, so thats why i'm pushing kind of hard. I'll try to ease up a bit.

[DJohnson]

Like I said, falling off is no big deal, don't beat yourself up about it.

Nothing wrong with taking a free meal or two every week if you keep the calories in line. It keeps you out of the "deprived" state and something fairly immediate to look forward to if you're tired of healthy food.

As far as overtraining, the current program I am using "Dual Factor Hypertrophy Training" using periodization like this:
3 weeks of around 20-30 sets
1 week of aroun 10d sets with 90% weight

On the week off you just go in on the training days, do some sets of squats and good mornings, or maybe benchpress and upright rows at 90% of your normal lifting and don't go to failure. This gives your body a chance to recover without being totally "out of the gym".

[KishanS]

Congrats on being back! Check out HST - I've been having great results with it.

I will say the first workout is absolute hell for anyone coming from a 3 or 4 day split.

Good luck!

DJ - congrats on 5.5% - I remember when you were angry that you were hydroed at 18% and tested yourself at 8 - looks like that anger paid off!

[DJohnson]

DJ - congrats on 5.5% - I remember when you were angry that you were hydroed at 18% and tested yourself at 8 - looks like that anger paid off!

Hahaha, true that. It's all a journey I guess. :D

[SeanDon]

had a good day today :) back on track baby.


Had a decent breakfast (2 eggs, 2 slices turkey bacon, fish oil, multivitamin). In a somewhat stupid move i keep forgetting to eat carbs at breakfast. You'd think i'd remember something like that.

Later on before i went out i had spicy chicken + white rice. Only had white rice available but i dont even care, it was good :)

I went swimming for about 4-5 hours and in that time i consumed 3 bananas and an apple. I know 3 bananas is extreme, but i forgot my meal at home, so i had to make do. I didn't eat them all at once, i had one every hour or so....

Just got home and had a rice cake and some cottage cheese as my pre-workout meal. The rice cake is made of brown rice and popcorn...has about 16g of carbs in one serving. I like them actually.

I pulled out some brown rice vermicelli noodles to make later. I might boil some chicken and veggies and have it together as my post workout meal.

then who knows :)

Anyways, good day.

[DJohnson]

Good job, good improvisation with the fruit too.

[Be-Be]

Glad to see you back on track! I can think of a lot of worse things to eat than 3 bananas - and at least you shouldn't have to worry about muscle cramps for awhile. :)

[SeanDon]

oh i also had some almonds.

lol. forgot.

i made 2 chicken sandwhiches with low fat mayo for my post workout meal. The bread isn't that big so its alright. Plus i was starving. It's been a couple hours and i'm hungry again, but its almost 2am so thats to be expected :P

[SeanDon]

So today is good, about to go do my chest/back. I didn't do cardio this morning because i hate it, lol. Nah seriously i woke up late and i'm going to be out all night, meaning i dont' have time to do weights in the evening if i do cardio. To me, weights are more important, so i chose to do those instead.

Like i said in my other post, i'm going to keep everything the same. I did want to try to go a month without a freeday, but i remember that the freeday is the only reason that i've been this successful in the first place. I was actually just posting in another thread on here about how important its been to me, and that i think its one of the major reasons i've stayed on track and never fallen off (until this past weekend bleh).

So technically my freeday is tomorrow, but because i pigged out this past weekend (bleh), i'm going to take it real easy. I won't be eating mcdonalds or any of that crap, thats for sure.

So yesterday when i went swimming jana's mom saw me and said "oh wow you really have lost weight! you're a good looking guy!!". Trust me, coming from her, that means a LOT. Jana also kept saying that i'd lost more weight since the last time she saw me (i don't know if this is true, but she last saw me on friday, the day we had a huge fight and the day i slipped up for the first time).

I woke up this morning and for the first time in a LONG time, i was feeling a lot more comfortable with what i'm seeing in the mirror. Don't get me wrong, i still look like crap - lol. It's just that i know i'm making improvements and i'm feeling really good about it. I don't even think its remotely possible for me to go back to the old lifestyle i had. 3 huge bad meals over 3 days was enough to make me really pissed off.

The only bad thing from all this is that i'm at 131kg. I do believe most of it is sodium/waterweight. But the funny thing is my clothes feel just the same, if not a bit looser, so i'm really not panicked in the least. In fact, i'm able to shrug it off without much of a care, because i know come june 14th, i'll have smoked the 130's completely out of my life forever, and that INCLUDES water retention from freedays :)

[SeanDon]

man i love chest workouts. I keep picturing that rock solid chest with every single rep. I love it, seriously.

I did 10,8,6,4 then 4,6,8,10 regular bench press, then i did 10,8,6,4 incline.

I did my back which was 3 sets of 8 bent over rows, and 10,8,6 deadlifts.

When i put it on paper it seems like nothing. That kinda concerns me. But i'm definitely tired and i definitely feel it, so i don't know....maybe i should go with how i feel instead of what looks good in writing :P

[Be-Be]

Awesome attitude, SeanDon. Keep it up.

Regarding the listing of your exercises - that's plenty. I do a two day split right now and, excluding abs, I do 4 leg exercises and 6 upper body exercises for 3 sets each. When you are building muscle (as opposed to endurance) a few exercises at lower reps is all that you need.

[SeanDon]

Today is el free day. Taking it easy i guess, but still enjoying it.

Doing my arms/shoulders tonight. Can't wait.

Oh and last night i felt really guilty about not doing cardio yesterday morning, so i did it last night/this morning at 2am. lol. I'm like that sometimes....i'll just feel bad and end up busting my ass at an obscene time of night.

It was a good cardio session though, and i felt good after it.

[Be-Be]

Seems awfully quiet - you worry me when this happens. What's going on?

[SeanDon]

Lol sorry i meant to update last night but i was just way too tired.

yesterday was a fairly ok day. I say fairly ok, because i had plans to take my mother out for a belated mother's day "evening" and we went to a mexican restaurant. I chose these quesedilla's that they had listed in the appetizer section, so they were really small, and there were 4 of them. But they were definitely appetizer size....I didn't feel that the meal was that bad actually. I then took my mom to a movie where i did have some popcorn :) I don't mind really to be honest, i was hanging out with the mom , haha.

So i came home and i had a really really good and intense workout. Did my arms and shoulders....i swear i felt like my muscle was going to pop out of my arm and slap me at any moment. My wrist hurts like hell this morning though, and reminds me of why i put on the wrist guard in the first place....you sure i shouldn't use it? :P

I weighed myself this morning out of curiosity. I'm at 131.6kg. I'm not really sure how i feel about this but i try to reason logically. Last friday i had one bad meal. Saturday and sunday were both bust. Monday was good, tuesday was good. Wednesday was my free day, yesterday i had the quesedilla's/popcorn. I dont' particularly believe its possible that i went from 129.5kg to 131.6kg in bodyfat, so i'm imagining it'll disappear by next week....However i'm also wondering if due to the excess calories that maybe i built some muscle? I've been lifting hard. Been a little too lax on the cardio because of cardio hatred/burnout lately. But i am going to do 30 minutes right after i'm done with this post.

I should mention that my clothes feel fine....not getting tighter, actually seem a bit looser but i don't know if thats just me trying to find more results :) Overall i'm really happy. You know i went to the bathroom during the movie yesterday, and they have mirrors all along the wall...when i walked in i noticed that i'm going to be a fairly big individual even when muscular...i kinda like that :)

For my post workout meal last night i had a can of tuna, mixed it with a tiny bit of 97% fat free mayo, and made 2 sandwhiches on multigrain bread. I actually really liked it :P Probably going to have it for breakfast today, since i ran out of eggs :(.

Sorry for the silence, lol, was just way too tired last night to update.

[Be-Be]

Only way to strengthen the wrists is to ditch the guards, sorry.

Only way to lose a significant amount of fat is cardio, sorry.

:)

You probably are bloated from the salt in the quesadilla and popcorn. If you didn't add butter and if you theater has switched to the healthier oils, movie theater popcorn isn't too bad except the salt (or if you eat a large).

Most likely, you aren't going to gain more than 2 pounds of muscle a month. Most people gain less. Gaining muscle is a very hard thing to do quickly and that's why you see almost as many muscle growing suppliments as weight loss suppliments. However, you are still improving the muscle that already exists, strengthening ligaments and tendons, and improving your neural system which is all good.

[Be-Be]

BTW - the best thing to get at a mexican resturaunt is the chicken fajittas without sourcream or cheese and then ditch or severly limit the tortillas. Also, don't go wild on the guacamole - just a bite or two.

[ScottC]

BTW - the best thing to get at a mexican resturaunt is the chicken fajittas without sourcream or cheese and then ditch or severly limit the tortillas. Also, don't go wild on the guacamole - just a bite or two.
...or, if your Mexican restaurant offers them, fish tacos. Oh how I miss Tacos al a Vera Cruz from this cantina in Chicago. It is a very healthy meal.

Another thing to avoid: Queso Fundido. A friend of mine who speaks spanish asked the waitress what it meant, she jokingly replied, "instant heart attack." It is an awesome appetizer of melted cheese and chorizo, served with tortilla chips.

[Be-Be]

...or, if your Mexican restaurant offers them, fish tacos. Oh how I miss Tacos al a Vera Cruz from this cantina in Chicago. It is a very healthy meal.

Another thing to avoid: Queso Fundido. A friend of mine who speaks spanish asked the waitress what it meant, she jokingly replied, "instant heart attack." It is an awesome appetizer of melted cheese and chorizo, served with tortilla chips.

That dip sounds AWESOME!!! Good thing nobody around here serves it! :D

[SeanDon]

lol i eat mexican like once every 5 years so no worries there.

Man this whole week has been fairly stupid if you think back to last friday, when i first slipped up. Sat and Sun were gone, mon+tues was good, wed free day, thurs my mothers day, and yesterday, friday, i was so depressed and i hardly ate, but some friends sort of "intervened" and took me out and i had a wee bit too much to drink. I now know why i hate alcohol once more. It's weird cuz i've had drinks on 2 occasions this month, and thats more than i usually ever have them...i hate drinking, but i was bleh.

To be honest with you i'm not totally phased about it. I'm going to look back on this as a bad week amongst a million good ones. I'm going to inform my friends and everyone else that i'm no longer going out to those types of places, so we can go play pool or something :P

My wrist hurts a LOT. A LOT. seriously. i don't even know if i can lift for a little bit and that REALLY depresses me because i love lifting. But today is saturday, i'm hungover and i wouldn't be lifting today regardless.

Come monday i'm going to start up doing regular cardio again, along with my lifting, lol. Damned cardio.

Hopefully none of you feels i'm falling off or something - it's not like that. Bad week, thats all. and throughout the bad week my eating habits truly haven't been THAT bad...certainly not what they were like before i begun my fatloss. And my pants, the one's i only recently were able to fit in to....they fall off a lot now...and that started this week. So i believe i'm still losing fat, just retaining some water ;)

Anyways just thought i'd update you guys. You know the cool thing about getting drunk and being all ****ty and hungover the next day is that you really really literally FEEL why you love being healthy as opposed to...THIS.

much love!

[Be-Be]

A bad week is a bad week. You analyzed it, have focused on the positives and how to deal with similar situations in the future, time to move on. So let it go.

Sounds like you pushed too hard (or used poor form) did something bad to your wrist - maybe pulled something. The wrist guards were a mistake because they allowed you to further damage it. Unfortunately, it may take a large block of time for it to heal. The injury worries me much more than the bad week. :(

Try to have a good weekend. Take Vit B for the hangover.

[SeanDon]

Wish i could enjoy the weekend.

I'm not going to turn this in to an emotional rant...but jana just basically came out of the blue and said i shouldn't come to europe and she basically wants nothing to do with me. This is all very sudden and just makes me feel like ****. I might take a few days break from updating on here...its not that i'm quitting, its just that now that i'm not going to europe i have a lot of rushing around to do to arrange my flight to canada....i'm trying to leave much sooner.

Sticking around here (Singapore) is bad for me on every single level. I've never felt this ****ty in my life really. 23 has been a bad year for me so far. I really gotta get out of here.

[ScottC]

Sorry to read the sad news...

I could tell you stories about my lost loves, but it wouldn't do much to ease your pain. Life goes on and in that life there are other special people you have yet to find. As much as it stinks, you have to continue on with the future and reaching your goals of a healthier you and your eventual return to Canada.

If you can't lift, then continue with your diet plan and cardio. Might be better not to lift until you have had some time to clear your head. If you are not concentrating on form then you run the risk of more injuries. I know, a few months ago I pulled something down low in my back thinking about something other than my form while doing SLDLs.

[SeanDon]

Decided to take a picture just now. I just ate some rice and chicken (bad meal though, its a local dish that isn't prepared the healthiest of ways)...

Anyways i realised that the depression is really getting a hold of me. I don't like it. I need to remain diligent and keep on top of things. So i decided i wanted to take pictures to see if i'm any different from may 8th.

The pictures on the LEFT in this photo are of me TODAY. As in, 10 minutes from this post. The ones on the right are from may 8th. I know i should have reversed them, but i didn't, so bleh.

I think i look a bit smaller now, but i can't tell. Just a bit i think. Which is good considering this past week has been one big cheat festival and injury carnival.

[ScottC]

There is a difference in the pics for under two weeks apart. Great work! :)

This should be incentive not to let your depression get a strong hold of you. Like I have said, I have been there, it may seem bad now, but in the whole big picture of life, it is but a small speedbump.

[SeanDon]

Hey Scott. Sure hope you're right. I feel so depressed when i think about "damn what if i end up stopping again?" because it makes me feel totally hopeless. Especially in the ladies department.

It's sunday morning at 5am. I havne't slept yet...and i ate bad pretty much all week as you guys know. Well that stops now, and i'm about to go do 30 minutes cardio and then go to sleep. I'm doing the cardio now because i have to be somewhere early tomorrow....So i want to get it out the way. If i don't do it now, i know i'll oversleep and not do it when i get up...I'm not letting this slip away from me. I don't care how depressed i am, i'm going to suck it up and as DJohnson has written under his name, prove i'm worth a damn.

I think right now i'm having a lot of crap thrown at me, and its almost succeeded at derailing me, but i know that if i get up and i succeed at this, DESPITE all of these troubles i'm having emotionally and with things out of my control...well then i will really have done something great.

[SeanDon]

Be-Be. I think i narrowed my wrist problem to my side lat raises. I want to take the weight down, and perhaps if i use absolute strict form i'll feel it a little more...maybe move slower or something. I keep tryign to go heavier because i figure i need to if i wnat to keep stimulating the muscle.

But this wrist pain is too much to bare sometimes, and its not worth it in the long run. Gonna bring the weight on certain things down. My bench press however, i'm keeping the same. I dont feel the strain so much on that....it's more on the shoulder exercises and sometimes the bicep curls. But i always do curls after the shoulders....so i really think its the side lat raises.

[ScottC]

Hey Scott. Sure hope you're right. I feel so depressed when i think about "damn what if i end up stopping again?" because it makes me feel totally hopeless. Especially in the ladies department.
One thing I learned over time is to just go about my business, get the job done, and ladies have appeared. The more I went looking for them, the more they weren't there. Bottom line: Do your exercises & eat clean per your plan, and go about your business and things will work out when they are meant to be.

[SeanDon]

So i came up with something based on 3 things

1) my hurt wrist
2) my desire to lose the fat most efficiently
3) my bad week

I decided that every day when i wake up i'm going to do 30 minutes of cardio, followed by one exercise for one bodypart with weights. I just did this today...

I did 30 mins cardio, rested 5 minutes, then did 10,8,6,4 for my chest (bench press)

I figure this optimizes fat loss, but also does enough to prevent me losing muscle. I want to do this because i believe doing 2 workouts a day was burning me out, which led to overtraining, which led to vulnerability. Mix that with outside issues and you have depression and a bad week. Not good.

So now i'm doing my workouts all in one shot, and they last about 45 mins to an hour, depending on how long i rest between each set. I started around 5:15ish this morning and now its 6:15 and i just got done. For the first time in my workout experience i had to change my shirt because it was so drenched with sweat that i was starting to itch all over and get very uncomfortable.

Now i'm going to have 2 tuna sandwhiches on multigrain bread, a lot of water, and take my multivitamin and fish oil capsules.

I look back in this journal and noticed that 2 years ago i plateud at 118kg. I ate bad for 2 weeks straight, and the following week when i got back on it, i was 116kg. I'm trying to tell myself this past week could be more beneficial towards me than i know...and i think it has been mentally. I've had time to destress a little bit (At least in terms of workout and diet) and now i'm back and ready to go. I'm fairly convinced that nothing more can happen to bring me lower emotionally than i already am, so i don't anticipate another setback due to that.

anyways thought i'd let you guys know that. By the way size 44 pants are getting a little looser. Kind of liking that. Still too far away from 42 though :). Which is still my goal for Canada.

[Be-Be]

I see a difference in your pictures - you are standing up straighter.

Side lat raises? Is that the same as a lateral shoulder raise or a one-arm row? If it's a shoulder exercise, just do military presses which will cause less stress on your wrist. Overall, find an exercise that works the same muscle and doesn't stress the wrist.

I think your workout plan sounds fine and your idea to get to Canada quicker is excellent also. ScottC has been giving you some great advice.

BTW - I was waiting for Jana to do this. As a women, I knew it was coming - sorry I didn't warn you but I don't think you would have listened to me. Just keep doing your best - whatever it is - every day. You will get through this.

[SeanDon]

Hey Be-Be,

i agree about Scott, his advice has been great for me. Couldn't have kept too motivated when i was down without his advice.

As for Jana...it turns out she heard i said something about a certain situation (complicated), which i did, but she heard it in a completely wrong context. So when i explained what actually happened she felt stupid as hell and apologised. She wants me to come to Europe but i'm undecided right now. My mother is pretty heavy against me doing it...thinks i'd be hurting myself more. BUt i don't want to hurt Jana either.

I'm staying out of my house for the next two nights because i just wnated an escape from everything. I'm sort of going through weird stages of apathy and determination...but something that is 100% always there, is the desire to not gain any weight at all, and if i'm going to be so inconsistent for the next few days, at least maintain where i'm at, so that when i figure things out within myself and get back on it 100%, i haven't actually lost any ground.

I'm doing ok though. My size 44's are getting realyl loose. I have maintained all exercises even when eating bad....And i've been eating bad for the wrong reasons really...just laziness and because ..well no because. It's just wrong.

EIther way i'm still losing weight, or at least i believe i am based on the way the clothes are fitting. My 44's are really loose at the moment and i love it. I'm never ever going back to the way that i was before. Ever. I'm glad that this time is to trying for me....I may not be perfect, hell i may be pretty imperfect, especially lately...but its all part of the road to success for me.

Be-Be, You're great, and i love you in a msg board friendship advice kind of way - But women are evil :P

[SeanDon]

hey all,

I'm back at home now...had a few days to clear my head. Jana and i sorted out our whole ****ty situation and the plans for Europe are still on. I'll spare you guys the details but i wanted to let you know i'm back :P

Haha i was only gone 2 days or something. Anyways....Since tuesday i haven't been paying mind to my diet (i'm not taking a week off on june 14th anymore, i considered this my break) and the amount of fear that i have of gaining the weight back is insane. Not from the past 4 days , i'm not that stupid, but i mean in general. Giving up is just not an option. My 44's are loose and i hope that in about a month , month and a half i'll be in 42's. I have 2 cuts of 42's...one i can get closer to buttoning than the other...so i'll judge on those ones first. When i can button the other ones, thats a big difference :)

I met some new people and made some new friends the past few days, and they are pretty cool people. Took my mind off of troubles for a while at least :P.

Anyways jsut checking in.

[SeanDon]

check out the picture my friends.


Those are size 42 jeans. I haven't been size 42 since i was in 10th grade or before. I'm still not, its very tight, and when i sit down i feel like the button might pop off. But hell if i care, this is a big thing for me, and definitely great motivation.

I started at size 48/50, now i'm able to buttonup/zipup 42. Tight fit, but fit is the key word ;)

Those were the ones i was talking about..being close to being able to button up. Now my goal is to have them baggy for the summer.

[Be-Be]

Congrats but you really need to work the legs - you have no glutes! :)

Try not to think about gaining weight - negative thinking like that can cause it to happen. :eek: Don't even think about losing weight because that can cause your subconscious to make sure you are always at a weight where you need to lose weight. :eek: :eek: Instead, think positively about being fit and thin. Whenever those negative thoughts intrude, force yourself to think positive ones.

[SeanDon]

woohoo fatass to no ass ! lol can't complain

[ScottC]

Nice job on losing to get into 42 jeans...even a tight fit. Shows your hard work more than a scale can at times.

Keep up the good work! Check around your place and see where your butt went, maybe it's in the closet! :p :D

[SeanDon]

lol!

Yeah i tried on other 42's and they wouldn't button up or even really get close to it. lol. feels like cheating that i fit in to one.

However, no complaints :) I think i might cry when i first get below 40. I've not been below 40 for so long that i can't even really tell you the last time i *was*. I think i was 15 or 14. maybe 36 was the lowest....can't remember. Lol. Either way, i'll be happy when it happens.

[SeanDon]

Hey everybody.

So today is sunday...I just woke up and its 6pm. This makes me realise its time for a complete revamp. I've let this depression skidddidle take too much away from my efforts and from myself in general. I currently weigh about 132kg, but i haven't had a full day of exercise and proper diet since monday. There's many reasons, the main one being that i just didn't care.

The good news is i spent almost all of that time out of the house. I was at nightclubs, with friends trying to make me feel better, at parties, at bars, etc. Probably the worst places to go when you're dieting, but i kind of appreciate it in retrospect. See when i was out i observed people, and i saw how things are, and i saw why i was so depressed in the first place, and why i feel like **** right now. I saw a little more clearly who i didn't want to be, and who i do want to be.

I thank god i haven't gained weight to the point that the "new" clothes i.e. the size 44's and the shirt that buttons up, etc., no longer fit. This means i wont really be losing any ground once i kick it back in to high gear. In more good news, i think my wrist is about 90% better. Still a little pain when i twist it, but i'll live.

Its amazing because when i was on my workout and diet, i was depressed at times, sure - but i was never hopeless. This last week, i've been pretty hopeless. It became so clear to me that losing weight is no longer about just losing weight. It's about respecting myself, becoming the person i should have been and was meant to be, and living the life everyone deserves to live.

I just wanted to share that with you guys, since i haven't had much to update lately. Figure if i let you in on whats going on in my head, you'll still get an idea of where i'm at and where i'm headed :P

Now, if you'll excuse me, i have to go find my ass....

[ScottC]

Best of luck to you on finding your butt! :D

Glad you have been clearing the fog in your head. Don't push yourself too hard, just maintain consistancy and you will forge ahead to meet your goals.

[Be-Be]

Very, very good. A little self-actualization is progress as that is what will help you keep on course and keep from gaining the weight back. What most people don't realize is that it isn't just about diet and exercise - it's also about changing the mindset that got you overweight and out of shape to begin with. So I wouldn't even consider the last week as a break - you just needed to work on the mind for awhile.

Take it easy with the wrist when you start lifting. It is still a weak point and needs to be strengthened. Remember that your weakest point determines how much you can lift. My number one way of strengthening peoples grip, wrists, and forearms is by having them hold heavy weights in their hands when squating, lunging, deadlifting, etc. How heavy are your heaviest dumbbells? Most of my guys are in the 25 - 45 pound range (depending on reps).

And, just for the record, women appreciate a nice ass on a man. We make fun of the guys at the gym who are all arms and shoulders and then toothpicks from the waist down. (You know who you are.)

[SeanDon]

ah. Well my ass has been really big for a while. So when i lose weight, if i feel i have an ass-lacking problem, i will do squats and lunges 300x a week and fix said problem :P

[SeanDon]

its 5:25am on monday morning. Like i said in an earlier post, i woke up 6pm Sunday, so obviously i haven't slept yet. But i consider it a new day regardless, and i'm starting up proper. Going to do 30 mins cardio followed by one set of exercises for one bodypart. I figure this is the most efficient for fat loss.

I'm going to bulk when i reach a low bf%, so i'm more concerned with just maintaining what i have as opposed to trying to bust out a 300lb bench press right now.

[Be-Be]

Good plan

[SeanDon]

ok so i just got done with my cardio. Sitting here drinking some water and waiting for my heart rate to relax so i can start on the weights. I'm going to do my chest today....10,8,6,4 bench press and then maybe 4x8 reps at my 10 rep weight to finish it off.

I don't want to do too much but i dont want to do too little either. i'm 30 minutes closer to sexiness. woohoo.

[SeanDon]

oh and Be-Be, my weights are all adjustable. So i can put maybe 70-80lbs on a single dumbbell if i wanted to. But i don't want to. I really don't want to. :)

[SeanDon]

had a great lifting session. I know it was only my chest and it was 10,8,6,4 and 3x8 reps, but it felt good :P i also lifted a new high for myself, on my 4 rep set.

was good :)

eating 2 eggs and some oats now. had a multivitamin and 2 fish oil caps. lots of water. :)

[SeanDon]

hey all

So i did my 30 minutes cardio just now and that went fine...but i was meant to do my arms today and when i went to do some barbell curls (i use an EZ curl bar for my wrist) my wrist hurt like hell. I mean the only way i can describe the way my wrist feels is that when i'm doing an exercise that requires a lot of my wrists attention, i feel the pain THERE, not on the muscle i'm working out. So i put the weight down and decided not to go through with it.

I'm having a sort of low energy day as it is, so i'm sure thats adding to it...but i need to come up with a few workouts that are a little easier on the wrist so that i can still do them. Either way i did the cardio, which i hate to death, but its probably the most important thing for my ultimate goal, so i'm satisfied.

gonna go eat now :P

[ScottC]

Any way of a MD checking out your wrist? I thought you posted it was getting better?

Anyways, we all do only what we can do. As long as you ate to plan & got your cardio in, it was a pretty good day. :)

[Be-Be]

Best case scenario ,you pulled a tendon in the wrist - worst case scenario, you have a stress fracture - either way, you are right that your wrist needs a break. Since the wrist acted up when you were using it as a lever (the bicep curl) only do exercises where you can hold the straight and without pressure. For example, military press instead of lateral arm raises for the shoulders. It may be months before your wrist heals but unless you go to a doctor, you won't know what you are dealing with.

Very sad but a good lesson in moderation for you. You do tend to jump in with an all or nothing attitude which is not condusive to long term results for many reasons. Take a step back, keep eating well and doing your dreaded cardio while you figure out what, if any, lifting is possible. My hubby has been out with an injury for a months - no lifting for the last three months and no cardio for the last month - and he's managed to keep losing weight - so it can be done. Stay focused.

[SeanDon]

I'm not sure what the problem is but i dont think its anything very major. It doesn't really hurt when i'm not lifting. It only hurts when i do lifts that require a lot of wrist support. So i'm going to go easy on those.

i went out on wednesday night (keeping to the schedule of it being a freeday) but then of course i consumed alcohol. I've decided that from now until Ibiza, which is about 3 months away, i'm not going to have nights like that anymore, it gets in the way. Perhaps i'll have one or two beers on a freeday, and leave it at that, but not what i've been doing lately, which is just starting to disturb me a bit.

I need to go on some cleansing thing and get 100% back on track, had way too many hiccups. I refuse to give up. ever. I'm really not happy being fat, its the worst feeling in the world.

Just wish i didn't sabotage my progress so much. Tonight i had some noodles, when i was craving mcdonalds and these days i tend to cave in (i was hung over today, so i was like "boo i can't burn fat anyways" ..bad attitude) but i refused to. So yeah noodles aren't the best, but leaps and bounds better than mc'ds.

Also found an old picture of me from when i was 17 when i was significantly smaller. Lets me know i can get back down to that again. I have that picture sitting in front of me now and my god does it work wonders on my guilt and everything....It's like "you didn't look the best in this picture, but you look 100% better in it than you do right now" and it just makes me focus.

[Be-Be]

Relapses should be viewed as an opportunity for fine tuning. I know you are experiencing some frustration and disappointment that you aren't doing better but I'm glad you aren't perceiving yourself as a failure and giving up. This is an opportunity. Learning is a process that does not usually occur at a constant rate and direction. Slips are normal, not reflections of failing and should be viewed as learning opportunities. Breaking old habits and establishing new ones requires both planning and repetitive practice. Remember that in order to achieve your goals, you have to make changes behaviorally, psychologically, physcially and phsiologically. It's a process and you will make progress in different areas at different rates.

I know how hard it is, when you've been drinking, to eat right the next day. Gold star for the noodles. But you are right in that you need a new strategy to deal with the situation and maybe you need to find sources of social support instead friends take you where you don't want to go. If you want to go out with those friends, brainstorm alternative behaviors for that particularly difficult situation and generate a plan for how deal with it.

[SeanDon]

Just tried on my size 42's again and they still fit the same as before :) Also the other ones seem to be getting closer. I've been doing cardio so despite my diet not being the best (which stops now, its ridiculously easy to maintain a good diet, so there's no excuses. Especially when you have a free day once a week) i've been getting results.

You know what i don't understand though? I've seen a lot of people that haven't seen me since i was at 141kg, and in size 48 pants, and they haven't said anything or noticed anythign about me losing weight. It's not that i'm expecting compliments but this bugged me a bit. My explanation is that my overall bodyshape hasn't changed yet, and that i'm just a smaller version of what i was...so its not noticeable when you wear clotheS? i dunno.

[SeanDon]

Still here :P

Slow progress...so many hiccups. I refuse to quit. Still working out. Still eating best i can....the good news is all my bar friends are leaving the country for good this friday, so that part of my life is officially over lol. Jesus.

I'm really not sure why this happens...I'm trying to find a balance between hanging out with my friends and working out. One of my buff friends is like "dude i used to be huge and i weightlift so i can enjoy my weekendS"

so i'm like yeah...after they all leave though i wont be going there at all i dont think. no point. lol.

[ScottC]

Still here :P

Slow progress...so many hiccups. I refuse to quit. Still working out. Still eating best i can....the good news is all my bar friends are leaving the country for good this friday, so that part of my life is officially over lol. Jesus.

I'm really not sure why this happens...I'm trying to find a balance between hanging out with my friends and working out. One of my buff friends is like "dude i used to be huge and i weightlift so i can enjoy my weekendS"

so i'm like yeah...after they all leave though i wont be going there at all i dont think. no point. lol.
Keep on pushing yourself. You are doing a great job! :)

When are you leaving for Canada? Maybe I missed it, but why are you there to begin with?

[SeanDon]

Just got done 30 minutes of cardio. I haven't slept and its 8am....as you can tell my system is sort of out of whack. I'm just going to stay up today and sleep tonight and try to get on a semi-decent schedule. Wanted to workout cuz i haven't exercised in 6 days ( boooo). I'm not sure what comes over me sometimes, but i always end up back in that state of realisation. The whole "dude you're really unhappy at this size" thing.

Funnily enough jana said i lost more weight when she saw me two days ago, so obviously i'm not gaining weight back rapidly or anything depressing like that :P

Oh Scott - i grew up here. My father moved to Asia with my mother before i was born....so i was born and bred in Asia pretty much. Lived in Singapore, Korea, Japan and i've been all over...my dad used to live in Indonesia so i'd always go visit him....by always i mean every 6 months or something, lol.

So yeah. I'm hoping that in Canada a person of my size doesn't stick out as much as i do here. A lot of guys i meet from the states and canada tell me there's people significantly larger than me everywhere there...lol.

[ScottC]

Funnily enough jana said i lost more weight when she saw me two days ago, so obviously i'm not gaining weight back rapidly or anything depressing like that :P

Oh Scott - i grew up here. My father moved to Asia with my mother before i was born....so i was born and bred in Asia pretty much. Lived in Singapore, Korea, Japan and i've been all over...my dad used to live in Indonesia so i'd always go visit him....by always i mean every 6 months or something, lol.

So yeah. I'm hoping that in Canada a person of my size doesn't stick out as much as i do here. A lot of guys i meet from the states and canada tell me there's people significantly larger than me everywhere there...lol.
See, your hard work is paying off!

I remember you posting about travelling around Asia, but I didn't know the why of it. Thanks for filling me in on the details. I am surprised if you were born there you cannot work.

[Be-Be]

Keep in mind that lapses are an inevitable part of the weight-losss process. Lapses are useful learning opportunties because they can help you understand the factors that led up to it and you can actively plan how to deal with future high-risk situations. In fact, you should view lapses as expected mistakesthat are part of the process of developing a new healthy lifestlye as opposed to a relapse, which happens when there are so many lapses that you have returned to the original problem on a consistent basis. But even if you do have a full-blown relapse, it can still be a learning experience and help you realize that it often takes several attempts at weight loss to achieve success.

[SeanDon]

nah i'm not quitting, no way. Tonight is the last night that my friends from the bar are here, they're leaving tomorrow morning for good. Thats the thing with growing up over here, everyone leaves eventually. So i'll be back on track with it because i've had too many insecure moments of trying to convince myself that confidence and all that overdoes the looks....that girls will look past that, etc.

While its true, i'm sure, looking like **** doesn't exactly do much for you either, lol.

[Be-Be]

Your body reflects your past so it sends out the statement "I'm insecure, depressed, and don't take care of myself". So your attitude may be confident but your body sends a mixed message. Especially if you have high standards for the girls that you want to attract. In TV land, slobs marry hot chicks but that's make-believe. In reality, like usually attracks like. (You got lucky with you ex. Lightening doesn't usually strike twice.) Not that you have to be perfect - a well balanced mind can get away with a few extra pounds, but you do need to look like you respect yourself. And, of course, you show that respect by eating approriately most of the time and exercising regularly at your fitness level. And you figure out a way to love yourself. You have good qualities so anytime you start with the negative self-think, consciously turn your mind the the things your like about yourself. And if you can't think of any, think about what qualities you would like to love about yourself and start developing them.

[phabphour20]

Your body reflects your past so it sends out the statement "I'm insecure, depressed, and don't take care of myself". So your attitude may be confident but your body sends a mixed message. Especially if you have high standards for the girls that you want to attract. In TV land, slobs marry hot chicks but that's make-believe. In reality, like usually attracks like. (You got lucky with you ex. Lightening doesn't usually strike twice.) Not that you have to be perfect - a well balanced mind can get away with a few extra pounds, but you do need to look like you respect yourself. And, of course, you show that respect by eating approriately most of the time and exercising regularly at your fitness level. And you figure out a way to love yourself. You have good qualities so anytime you start with the negative self-think, consciously turn your mind the the things your like about yourself. And if you can't think of any, think about what qualities you would like to love about yourself and start developing them.

This is sage advice.

It is about self-respect and self-confidence on the guy's part. Not every girl can put it into words as eloquently as Be-Be has done here, but every girl is affected by these two qualities on a very basic, almost primal level.

[SeanDon]

(You got lucky with you ex. Lightening doesn't usually strike twice.)

ouch :(

Honestly i'd agree with you but i was with her for 4 years, so i imagine it wasn't all luck :).

Nah i do agree with you, and your paragraph changed my mindset entirely. Like i said my bar friends left last night...was quite sad, but now its friday and i'm getting back on it. I was originally going to be lazy with it today just because i was feeling sick from last night, but reading your post made me change my mind, lol.

I had a bit of an emotional breakdown last night, mainly over my relationship.

As for my standards, this is how i like to describe my ideal situation:

I dont care if the girl i want to be with is obese, as long as i WANT to be with her. I don't care if the girl i'm with is hot by society standards, as long as i WANT to be with her. If i end up just being with someone because i'm lonely and need the company - thats when i feel it's wrong....and sometimes i feel i may have no choice unless i do something drastic to change my appearance to match how i really am.

So yes. Thank you for helping me out :)

[SeanDon]

so here's something interesting. I've been fairly inconsistent with diet/training for the last 3 weeks or so, and i weighed myself now expecting that i'd have gone up significantly (i've been to the bars way too much lately) and i'm at 131.4kg. This is AFTER i ate too, so...lol. I'm not complaining to be honest.

Gives me more incentive to get right back on it strictly and thats exactly what i've done. I just had some oats and eggs and lots of water :) multivitamin and some fish oil caps.

On tuesday i'm spending the evening with jana at a hotel, and we're just going to watch movies and order room service (that's the exact plan, lol) so i'm making tuesday my freeday, but only at night...so free evening? yeah. I'll bring a meal or two to put in their fridge so the next morning when i wake up i can eat it.

I knew i hadn't gained weight this whole time because now my size 44's are falling off if i'm moving too quickly or abruptly. I have a lot of stuff in my pockets so that obviously helps bring them down, but either way, when i first started wearing them i couldn't even put my wallet in my pocket because it was too tight.

i'm going to let my meal relax for a bit and i'm going to do some cardio. 45 minutes of light cardio i think....30-45 minutes depending on how my stamina is i guess. I won't weight train today because i'm still a little sick from last night....today is more of a "get back on track" day as opposed to "lets lose some fat" day :)

Be-Be seriously what you said has really smacked me upside the head. Kudos! I just wish i wasn't so depressed in the process :P i guess its part of life.

[ScottC]

Sean,
Keep up the good work! I didn't have time to read your last two posts. I just wanted to stop by and say I will catch up when I get back. I am off for a week with no computer access unless I go to the library, so I am not ignoring your thread. I wish you well. Talk to you soon. :)

[Be-Be]

and sometimes i feel i may have no choice unless i do something drastic to change my appearance to match how i really am.

Your appearance is you - your past. A couple years ago, let's face it, you were a bit immature, self-absorbed, whiney... I'll quit now. Start living today with self-respect and self-love and the body will follow and two years from now you will look like the confident, self-possessed man that you are turning into. Eating right and exercising isn't a punishment, it's how you reward yourself for being who you are.

Jana is special - she saw through you to your potential. Unfortunately, most people (potential dates, potential bosses, strangers) will judge you just by what the see and not take time to get to know you. You will notice in a couple years, when you are slimmed down and have been exercising regularly, people will treat you better. Sad, but true.

You're now figuring out a bit of the maintenance issue. This is part of the process. It is not unusually to lose, say, 10 pounds, and then "rest" at that weight for a period of time. Think of it like lifting. You rest inbetween sets instead of doin 30 reps at a time. You're doing great and you're coming back a bit stronger every time.

I'm sorry depression is part of the process - you are losing your gf and you are losing what you've considered home for a long time. That's two "deaths" to mourn at the same time. Hang in there and keep working on being the man you want to be.

Oh, and pull up your pants already.

[Be-Be]

http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z261/be-be_photo/myspace-codes-posters022.jpg

[SeanDon]

so i just threw away my size 46-50 pants. Lol. All of them. I've never ever done that before....but right now i'm so comfortable where i'm at that i'm like, i'm never EVER going above this size again in my life. I only have one pair of size 44's but its worth it. I just gotta wash em and wear em all the time lol.

I'm not sure if i'm size 44 in general because i haven't tried looking for pants in shops yet, but i'm hoping i am, because having to buy 46's will suck. I just won't do it actually.

When i say i'm comfortable its just because i feel a real difference between where i was and where i'm at now...i'm not comfortable staying here for the long run, don't worry ;). Right now i'mc leaning up and packing and i swear its a workout because i'm sweating my butt off and its going to take a loonnng time. good stuff :D

[SeanDon]

I thought i posted this earlier but apparently i ddin't!

It's a picture of me at the bar one night, lol.

[Be-Be]

And the girls weren't lining up? :D

Nice show of confidence on throwing away the big jeans. I know how big a deal that is.

One interesting thing that I noticed as I went to smaller sizes - I have less laundry and need fewer/smaller suitcases. You never think about those things.

[SeanDon]

if you look closely, you'll see jana in the background. lol.

[SeanDon]

yeah so i thought things couldn't get worse for me but i was wrong. I don't know if i told any of you this but jana cheated on me a while ago with a guy that was a close friend of mine.

so now she calls me saying she has feelings for him and since he's leaving in 3 weeks they're going to make the best of it. hah?

i'm trying to book a flight for this week. I'm in the bottom of the bottom, and i'm starting to question whether i'll even survive it let alone move past it.

I'm telling you that to tell you this - i will probably be gone a little bit until i can get a place in canada and hook up internet access. I'll post a msg as soon as i do that.

[Be-Be]

Good luck with everything. Life is definitely tough for you right now. I would strongly recommend professional help. If not now, then as soon as you get settled in Canada. Seriously, make it a priority. A counselor can help you survive this.

[SeanDon]

Hola people.

I am now in canada...just got here last sunday. I'm moving in to my new place on monday, and from that point on i'll start posting regularly again ;)

i had a great holiday....changed a few habits along the way as well...i was in a beach town in europe, so no fast food and no junk pretty much the entire time. I no longer crave any of that crap either, so thats a good thing.

NO i'm not quitting and i will reach my goal ;) I've lost some weight since i last posted, so i'm on track...however, pictures and all of that will be a little more scarce as i dont have my camera with me and i'm now living alone.

[Be-Be]

Welcome back. You sound like you're feeling better. I hope things are going well for you.

[SeanDon]

hey hey

so i'm finally in my own place now and getting settled. One thing i notice about vancouver is that everyone and their mother is in shape/good looking. I feel like the Elephant man out here.

anyways...i'm not sure how long it'll take me to build up the courage to join a gym, but i am going to start doing cardio in the mornings. I'm completely on my own out here, which means no distractions...i've applied for a job, and from what i hear the shifts are a bit weird, but i'm going to try to be up for 6am every morning and get started from there.

Like i said in the paragraph above this one, i'm completely alone out here...so i have no distractions from social life, no excuses about not being able to buy the same type of food as everyone else (yay)...so once i overcome my fear of joining a gym - i'm gold.

anyways i'm off to return some movies to blockbuster (also a great new thing i didn't have in singapore) and then going grocery shopping. lots of meat, veggies and things like this :D

[SeanDon]

It's been a long time!

I know most of you that followed this at all were probably thinking i quit or was a disappointment. HOWEVER. I do have an update now.

I've been through probably the worst year of my life - between late 2006 until about a month ago - and I feel that things are finally changing as they should be.

Have an apartment, have a good job, and my lifestyle habits have changed tremendously.

I've been in Canada since september 9th, and since then i've increased my general physical activity (i walk to work and back, which is at least an hour of walking a day at the very least - nothing special, but its an hour more than what i was like in singapore!)

Anyways in 2 months or so I'll convert to a full time employee at my job, and I'll have access to the gym! its free! its beautiful! This is my time people. I'm single, I'm putting women and other distractions out of my mind, and focusing on myself - my mind, my work, my body.

With that said I have some pictures. The changes aren't mind altering, but if you compare these pictures to the first pictures i posted in here, you'll notice definite progress.

I'll update again when i have more progress to show as well. I think about this thread everyday when i'm on my way to work....i wanted to wait till i lost all the weight before updating, but i changed my mind.

anyways here you go:

I ALSO SHAVED MY FACIAL HAIR - YAY ME!


P.S. I really want the manboobs to go away :(

[DJohnson]

Hey! Glad you're back!

You ready to get a bit more hardcore? Keep track of your diet and stuff in fitday? Lift some weights? :D

For awesome awesome workouts you can do at home and without a gym membership check this out:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=6152131
I'm all over that stuff right now, before I used to do all my cardio on a bike and my legs would give out before my endurance.

I still recommend you get a gym membership for the next two months and following a lifting plan like this:
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/core9.htm

I think with a good diet, an excellent conditioning program and heavy intense lifting you'll be looking a ton better in the next two months.

[SeanDon]

DJohnson!

haha nice.....

I'm back in Canada now too, so dietary confinements no longer exist! I'm going to read over those links you just gave me because they're kind of long so I need to dedicate some time to it. I could probably get a 2 month membership but a large part of the reason i'm against it is because of the people....i've been to that gym, everyone is in shape and all purdy. lol. I know thats a piss poor reason to not sign up for a gym, but I was thinking doing workouts at a park, or running or anything that doesn't involve going to that particular gym would be great!

I think there's a smaller gym right down the block so I'm going to check that out....apparently there's a community center near me so I'll check to see if that has one too.

There's a 'marketplace' grocery store right near me (10 minutes walk), 2 fitness related stores for supplements (which i won't use yet)...i'm pretty much set. My whole lifestyle has changed too...i no longer snack at night...actually i hardly snack at all to be honest. So i've been losing weight, but its not good enough to eat less bad stuff and not exercise...gotta revamp!

Anyways i'm goin to start by looking at what you just posted :OP Glad you're still here.

[SeanDon]

making another post because for one, i have 666 posts and that scares me, so its time to make it 667. Secondly...I'm not going to weigh myself or measure myself for a long time.

I have discovered that it is hindering me. I will be able to tell from pictures and from clothes whether the progress i'm making is good/sufficient/excellent/bad, etc....so yes! let the games begin ;)

[Be-Be]

Good to hear things are going well. I may be moving to Hong Kong/Singapore/China in the next year or so.

http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z261/be-be_photo/HNY2525252520Goose.gif

[SeanDon]

Ah:P Well you'll like Singapore I think! I was born in Hong Kong...which is now a part of China.....:P

how have you been?

[DJohnson]

I could probably get a 2 month membership but a large part of the reason i'm against it is because of the people....i've been to that gym, everyone is in shape and all purdy. lol. I know thats a piss poor reason to not sign up for a gym, but I was thinking doing workouts at a park, or running or anything that doesn't involve going to that particular gym would be great!

I see what you're getting at, but you gotta make the jump, it's not that bad, noone disrespects a guy who is out of shape and is working hard to get in shape. And really, would you want to join a gym where everyone was out of shape and ugly? :D :D

If they're all in shape then they're good influences for you.

[SeanDon]

hey

I'm having a rather strange problem i think. I don't think i'm eating enough....My schedule is a little weird because this is what a typical day would be for me food wise:

wake up 11am, go to work and end up not eating until 6pm (i had a turkey sandwhich and salad) and then i get home at 10:30pm and i have this low fat, low everything soup that i get (it does have a bit of sodium, but based on my other meals its not that big a problem). Then i wait till about 4am and go to sleep.

I find I am starving in the morning but i tend to rush off to work and have a coffee and then forget about it until my lunch/dinner break. I know this is bad for the metabolism and just ..in general.

My question is do you think I could eat a quick meal in the morning and then wait till my lunch hour, or should i start making sandwhiches or something (i need ideas on break meals...i get 2 15 minute breaks per day, one at about 3 or 3:30 and one at about 8 or 8:30.)

I'm real serious about doing this right, and I don't even crave anything bad out here because everything i love is in singapore, so i know i can do it...i just need to find a way to eat more. I find i'm only really hungry in the mornings - the soup seems to hold me out ok.

I do recognize this is a bad diet though and i'm really at a bit of a loss for some basic ideas to change it.

[Be-Be]

It's great that you are so motivated. The change has done you good.

Definitely grab something for breakfast - skipping it can halt your progress even with low calories. A sandwhich would be fine here if you want it.

Add a couple of small handfull of nuts at your breaks. You can even mix some nuts with dried fruit - say about 1/8 cup nuts and 1/4 cup raisins. This will give you some much needed fat.

Do a quick estimate of your calories. I know many doctors will put guys your size on a 1500 calorie diet but remember that you may be losing muscle if you go that low. (The doctor theory is that it's more important for health reasons to lose the fat. Muscle can always be added later.)

Don't worry about 6 meals - 3 meals and a snack or two are fine. Try to get at least 5 servings of veges and a couple fruits in a day. And start taking a mulit-vitamin if you aren't already.

[DJohnson]

If you seriously aren't hungry in the mornings maybe a nutrition plan like Intermittent Fasting is perfect for you: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=3587831

You have to be extra careful though not to overeat and to eat healthy though as you will be more hungry once you start eating. Buy a digital scale from Walmart for $20 and weigh everything and log it into Fitday or something.

Also lifting weights is essential if you're going to be eating fairly low calories.

[SeanDon]

hey hey

so it turns out people at work are in a competition! I was talking to my supervisor and he has lost a bunch of weight, and they're in this mini competition that ends in June (just an unofficial office thing) so I decided to take part :D Each person has different goals but we're basically keeping each other motivated and stuff...

I plan on dominating this though ,especially because its my supervisor and I need him to understand that my determination is a great asset to the company ;) lol.

I'm going to start having oats+eggs or just oats+nuts and fruit in the mornings...then i'll eat my turkey sandwhich (variation but i like turkey right now) with salad (by the way, just HOW bad is ceasers salad for you? I have no problem switching, it's just one of the few things i let myself have lol....If its that big a deal i can drop it though, no problem). Then at night I'm eating soup (has pasta and chicken in it, but its a low fat healthy soup and a good way to end the evening i do believe). I'll start looking up recipes so I can make my own large batch of soup at one go too...that'll be convenient.

Anyways just wanted to provide an update!

[Be-Be]

Well, if you have a caesar salad without the parmasan cheese, croutons and fatty dressing, it's just fine...

I think the biggest problem (beyond the croutons) is that most caesar salads have the dressing pre-mixed with the greens. You can easily add a lot of calories and unhealthy fat that way.

You'd be better off with a low fat dressing or an olive oil and vinegrette dressing on the side of a garden salad (though you can add nuts or fruit to the salad for variety). Dip your fork in the dressing and then the salad.

[SeanDon]

yeah that's a good idea...i always skip out on the cheese regardless - it's just that at work they make it with the dressing already in it and everything. They do have a regular green salad, so I can just do that....

I'll take that and a vinegrette dressing that i think they have (they gave me vinegrette in a little plastic container [tiny] one time, and i think it was ok, but i'll have to check again).

the soup is ok right? I've been eating the healthier version of 'primo roasted chicken and noodle' type of thing. It's the following:

180 calories (for the full can)
4g fat
24g carb

actually now that i look at it i'm like eee....I don't know if its that good. There is a bunch of sodium in it too, but I don't think thats too bad if i ease up on sodium rich foods during the day...plus I eat this soup and then sleep about 3 or more hours later, so its not like i eat and sleep immediately.

I don't know! The soup's been a bit of a life saver because i get home from work so late and i'm too tired to do much else but make a can of soup, lol. I need to learn some recipes and make my own :)

Anyways i'm just about to have a bowl of oats before i head out...i'm not really treating it like a meal in the sense that i want to make it somethin i enjoy this morning, its more to kickstart my metabolism. I'm going to go grocery shopping on my weekend (monday, tuesday) for the week so that I have more options open to me.

Anyways, Off to work I go!

thanks for your opinion guys.

[Be-Be]

You sound so much happier.

The soup is okay. Hypertension is a killer so be careful with the salt but there are low salt soups out there. 180 calories is a snack, not a meal. You could add some canned chicken to get some protein and a few more calories.

Having the mindset that you are eating for health is not a bad thing. Makes it easier to eat what you need to eat when you need to eat it. Makes it easier to leave out the junk.

[SeanDon]

It seems I never quite go away completely, yet I have a hard time sticking around entirely. I need to work on that. I have some information that I think is pretty cool, and hopefully you guys will think so too.

I looked at the first page of this thread, to see where I was at back when I started this thing many years ago...I see that i said i was at 120kg, or 264lbs. Sometime between then and last year, I shot up to 142kg at my heaviest, or 312.4lbs. Boo yes? lol

My life has changed a lot since that period of time. Last August I left Singapore and came out to Vancouver, where I'm currently living at the moment. between the last time i weighed myself (312.4lbs) to about the time i weighed myself 3 weeks ago, I've lost 50.6lbs. I was 119kg when I weighed myself in the gym at work.

So this is good, because I definitely wasn't comfortable being that big. I'm still far from comfortable, but I'm glad that on some level, I'm back where i initially started - and I've gone through so much that I think I can get a grip on it this time.

I just got promoted at work, I just went through a mild, but still somewhat hurtful breakup with a girl out here. I've just had to resort to cutting off my ex entirely and a lot of my friends from Singapore due to a whole lot of drama I didn't need to be dealing with, and so basically I'm in this position where i'm 100% alone out here, and feel like I'm in the right place to start over. Which is what I've wanted for a while.

New job title, no commitments to anyone but myself right now, basically a new life. What better time to work on the one thing that could pull it all together - my body. I work in a place that has a gym at the office...it's a good gym, with decent equipment. I live about 10 minutes from a grocery store (actually 2), so I'm set there. My goal? I'd like to be beach ready for next summer (I also live about 5 blocks from the beach, and i've had to skip out on it this year).

So I guess I'm hoping that someone from the old days, the people that have been following this thread in the past and perhaps gave up on me for good reason - I'm asking that you see this through with me, one *last* time. I vow that If I fail this time, I won't return to bb.com. I won't even pledge my dedication again. I won't ever waste your time ever again. But for now, Since it seems like a time in my life for new beginnings, I really hope you guys stick with me :)

I want to do this right, so I may have a lot of questions to ask. Today is Sunday. My new job starts tomorrow, and my shift for at least the next 4 weeks is 8am - 4:30pm. I'll be working out right after that (as I mentioned, the gym is at work). I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made in the past, where i'm over zealous and just go all out until I burn out. In my head, I should be working out all 5 days of the week, mon-fri, for about an hour each time.

My diet has changed lately because I became a vegetarian in March. However, I know how to lose weight more efficiently with meat as a part of my plan, and I'm serious about doing this right, so for at least the cutting portion of my change, I'm going to incorporate meat in to the diet. I guess I'm just letting you guys know I'm here.

I will provide updates as often as possible, but never more than a few days between. I've been through some tough stuff with my ex and with this girl that I met out here, and I was slapped in the face with the fact that the problem is me, not them. I need to take responsibility for my life, and pull my **** together. I'm taking this next little bit (at least till the end of the year) to dedicate all of my efforts to personal growth and making myself a better person. I want to be the person I know I'm capable of being and honestly, there's no better time than now.

It's funny because people always say 'there'll never be a time where it's going to be the perfect time to start, or the most convenient. Whilst I think that's very valid and true in most cases, I appear to have been blessed enough to have run in to such a time, and you better believe I recognize that. I'm not letting this slip away from me.

So I'm asking for some support from you guys, but only what I deserve. I promise - this is the last time i'll be on here saying this type of thing. I'm either here till I do it, or I'm off the site for good. I intend to be here till I've completed my goals, and then stick around to help others after that.

I know this was long winded, but I had a lot to say. I hope all is well with everyone!