maat's journal - A journey to self-discovery

[maat]

I've been reading the journal section for some time now. It took a while to decide if I was ready to start my own here.
I've been so inspired by you ladies and specially by the amazing transformation of Kim that I decided to begin this journey. For the first time in my life I'm really commited to change my life. I've been so unhappy in my own skin for so long I don't even know the feeling of being happy. My self-esteem is affecting everything in my life:my relationship with my family, my bf, my friends,my grades. I think I'm letting life pass me by. I'm so afraid of trying and failing. I've failed so many times.In the past I studied so hard just to be good at something and now not even that field is good for me.I'm studying Chemistry and I should be in the third year (third year actually but only in 2nd year curricular), I've already failed a year. I'm not a bad student, I'm not really. I was a very good student before college. I think I've realised now how bad my self-image is and how bad I feel in my own skin and I'm letting these feelings of insecurance and fear rule my life.
This is my promise to change all of this.
I'm 5´0 tall and 135 lbs. (bad bad)
Never exercised before, never eat good before. I've had compulsive and binge eating problems sometimes, but I really think they are triggered by my sadness and apathy towards life instead of psicological problems. I'm controlling it nowadays.
I want to lose weight, be healthy, confident in my own skin, really good at exercise (I always wanted to be but always lacked the confidence). I want to take control of my life instead of running from it and eating my problems.
My current plan includes: 4 x a week to the gym. 2 days cardio 2 days weight training.
1500 cal a day. 50/30/20
3 lts of water a day.
Study more and be a better student like I should and know I can be.
Stop hiding from others.
Believe in myself.
Be optimistic towards life.
I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND TO PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN BUILDING THE REAL ME THAT IS INSIDE OF ME TRYING SO DESPERATLY TO GO OUT!

oK. Sorry for my long post and bad english but I really wanted to let you know the purpose of writing this journal.
Thank you for being so motivational and inspiring.

Kisses
andreia
(oh and I'm from Portugal and I'm 20!)

[mizone]

Hi Maat! You have made the right choice and have made the first step of writing down what it is that you want! If you have never done any of this before it is hard. But once to get into it you will really enjoy it. And it makes such an impact on your entire life and will also really change your attitude towards everything! So congrats on starting! :) Its really is a lifestyle change - a change for the better!! You will get EXCELLENT advice on here :) Perhaps start by posting your diet so we can help out with that - or if you have read some of the other journals, get some ideas from those and put together a meal plan. Being organised helps like there is no tomorrow. If you know what you have to eat tomorrow and what you are training tomorrow things fall into place and there is less chance of eating bad or skipping a workout!

[shortsteph]

Hey its great your starting a journal..

I'm also 5'0 but 140 pounds..

Hope I can help you out.:)

[aprilai]

hi maat!

welcome here! great to see you starting a journal. if you post your diet and routine maybe we can help you to achieve your goals better =)

[maat]

Thank you for your help and welcome :)
Today was a hard day for me: a test and coming home. The test was awful and the 3 and a half hour trip to visit family was so bad. I'm so tired, I just slept 4 hours last night to study more.
I ate bad today; lots of salads but lots of meat too. I'm considering my first cheat meal in 3 weeks.
I did weighed here at my scale at home: 135 pound, 61.3 kgs. Better then when I started to change my lifestyle a month ago (63 kgs) but still really bad. I should be around 110 lbs.
I'll post my routine at the gym, one instructor there did it (I'm not very happy with the gym it's like I'm just another person there, sometimesinvisible! I'm considering trading the cardio days for body pump and body combat, what are your oppinions on that). It's the only gym I can go now, it's in my school and the price is ok.
So the instructor advised me to: 2 days cardio, 2 days weight training:

On cardio days I'll exercise for:
15 min treadmill
10/15 min on bike
8 min on row(?) machine (don't know the term, arm exercise where you pull lol!)
5 min on stepper

weight lifting: (I tried to find the name of the exercises in english in exrx.net)
leg press 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lever leg extension 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lying leg curl 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs (I can only do 8-10)
seated hip abduction 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lever seated hip aduction 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
peck deck fly 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
triceps machine 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
machine for back 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
curl with dumbdells 1 set of 15 reps with 2 kilos dumbdells
shoulders press with dumbdells 1 set of 15 reps with 2 kilos dumbdellls

abs - 3 sets of 15 reps: regular and obliques
lombar exercises

As for food I'm rather lost. I think 1500 cal a day is a good limit because I'm just so small ;)
Don't have money to spend and I'm always on the run so I would appreciate some thougths on the nutrition thing.
I was thinking of doing this:
Meal 1: 1/2 cup raw oats cooked in water with 1 T of berries jam
Meal 2: 1 cereal bar low fat (between classes)
Meal 3: 2 regular slice of whole wheat bread + lettuce + slice of turkey +1 slice of low fat cheese + 1 tbs ketchup)
1 fruit
1 fruit juice (maybe water) - sandwich because is easy to carry and cheap
Meal 4: fruit + cereal bar (pre-workout)
Meal 5: 1 cup brown rice + 1 small breast of chicken + 1 cup veggies
Meal 6 : 1 slice pineapple + 1/2 cup skim cottage cheese

I didn't work out the calories for this plan, appreciate all your help here.
Feel free to ask anything you would like.
Thank you so so so much for your feedback and help

hugs
andreia

[Megin]

I want to lose weight, be healthy, confident in my own skin, really good at exercise (I always wanted to be but always lacked the confidence). I want to take control of my life instead of running from it and eating my problems.
My current plan includes: 4 x a week to the gym. 2 days cardio 2 days weight training.
1500 cal a day. 50/30/20
3 lts of water a day.
Study more and be a better student like I should and know I can be.
Stop hiding from others.
Believe in myself.
Be optimistic towards life.
I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND TO PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN BUILDING THE REAL ME THAT IS INSIDE OF ME TRYING SO DESPERATLY TO GO OUT!

oK. Sorry for my long post and bad english but I really wanted to let you know the purpose of writing this journal.
Thank you for being so motivational and inspiring.

Kisses
andreia
(oh and I'm from Portugal and I'm 20!)


-Seems to me that you are already on the right track! I am 20 as well and I know the demands that school has and then the social deal that wants you to eat unhealthy. But you can do it. I believe you can do it anyway!!!

GOOD LUCK AND I WILL CHECK UP ON YOUR PROGRESS SOON!

[maat]

Thank you Megin :)
I would really appreciate some feedback on my diet plan and exercise plan.
Thanks in advance

[Megin]

No Prob! I love this site and keeping a journal makes you commit to something.
I just signed up on fitday.com and I highly suggest it. You can type in what you eat everyday and it will give you the percentages so you can actually evaluate what you are eating and how many cals you are expending a day in order to achieve your goal. Def. check it out and let me know if it helps ya

Keep up the good work!

[maat]

Hey
I knew fitday but I wasn't follow my diet so strictly...yes bad me!
But from now on I'm gonna do that.
I don't about how much calories should I been aiming for.
Todays meals:

meal 1: 1 small banana (I get so sick when I travel)

meal 2: mcdonald's ceasar salad with grilled chicken (yay for me for not eating fries or burgers or soda!)

meal 3: 2 cereal bar during afternoon: nuts and almonds, and one of chocolat (the last one!! :( )

meal 4: 1.5 cup of pea snow (I figured what you called it in english, really funny) cooked in 1 T of olive oil, garlic powder and salt
4 oz of grilled chicken
1 cup of natural pineapple juice

meal 5: 1 egg + 1/2 cup of oats + 1 tbs of blueberry jam (kind of pancake thing) ;)

stats:

Calories Eaten Today
source grams cals %total
Total: 1522
Fat: 39 347 24%
Sat: 11 97 7%
Poly: 6 53 4%
Mono: 18 159 11%
Carbs: 190 659 46%
Fiber: 25 0 0%
Protein: 107 430 30%
Alcohol: 0 0 0

ok, I don't know what should I be aiming
40/40/20
or
50/30/20
what's the matter with the fiber thing?I did eat vegetables and oats?
OK I so confused with this eating !!!
heeeeeeeeellllllllpppppppppp


exercise:nothing today, gym closed because it was a how do you call it national holiday maybe?
tomorrow I'll go!promise

water is bad: 0.5 l. I'm hoping to reach 2l today (it's around 9 pm here and I have lots of study to do)
thank you everyone
kiss

[Ivey_Itch]

Hey Girl! What's up! I'm glad your taking this big step and putting yourself out here like this! It's great that your wanting to change and have made a dedication!! Your going to get great advice and feedback and NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF! You are going to do whatever you want in life! Keep that positive attitude! You have got to learn to love yourself, and as you go about this process, you will notice little changes and you will feel better and better about yourself! Diet is probably going to be the best thing to start working on at this point. Make little changes to begin with, nothing drastic. I started out with the 40/40/20 split for a while. It's a good one to begin with, so you should try that for a while and see how it goes. Now here's the most important thing. You want to try to get in 5-6 meals a day, try to eat every 2 1/2 to 3 hours, and try to make all the calories in each meal about the same. You want to try to get a little carb, protein, and good fat in each meal. (unless it's post workout, you can hold on the "good" fats here) For your calories, to begin with do a week of around 1400 and see what happens. You can adjust them from there, if your losing too quickly, just bump it up slightly, if your not losing, decrease slightly. But you want to keep them up as high as you can to begin with. :)


Let's look at the meal plan you just had posted and see what we could work on :)

Todays meals:

meal 1: 1 small banana (I get so sick when I travel) Need a complex carb here, maybe only 1/2 a banana or a handful of berries. Also, need protein and good fat! Something like 1/2 cup oat meal with some berries 4 scrambled egg whites and 1 whole egg? (you'd want to work this out on fitday and see what these calories come out to to make it work for your plan :)

meal 2: mcdonald's ceasar salad with grilled chicken (yay for me for not eating fries or burgers or soda!) Good work on skipping the burgers! Maybe next time try to bring your lunch, or have a subway 6 inch under 6 grams of fat on whole wheat bread Or a grilled chicken salad like you had with the fat free dressing or light dressing on the side :)

meal 3: 2 cereal bar during afternoon: nuts and almonds, and one of chocolat (the last one!! ) Try some source of protein like 3-4 oz, and about 1 oz of nuts or a tbsp of natural PB, and maybe something like.. an apple

meal 4: 1.5 cup of pea snow (I figured what you called it in english, really funny) cooked in 1 T of olive oil, garlic powder and salt
4 oz of grilled chicken
1 cup of natural pineapple juice Looks good, but I would avoid juices! Much better to eat the fruit itself, and I would try to keep the fruit consumption to before 1 or 2 in the afternoon :)

meal 5: 1 egg + 1/2 cup of oats + 1 tbs of blueberry jam (kind of pancake thing) (I would try to have the complex/starchy carbs, like sweet potatoes, oatmeal, corn, things like that before 1-2 in the afternoon as well. Like include these things in the first 2-3 meals, but after that switch over to more fiberous veggies, like brocolli, green beans, califlower, green leafy veggies are always good! You could do something like 4 oz lean protein, like fish or chicken, and a big salad with veggies and about 1 tsp of olive oil and vinegar as the dressing.. or lean protein (cooked in a little olive oil), green beans, and side salad :)

and if you needed more calories, or something else, something like 1/2 cup lowfat (1% or fat free cottage cheese, with some splenda and cinnamon is yummy!) or fat free cottage cheese and about a tsp of PB mixed in is tasty too. But Like I said, i haven't added up the calories for these meals, but these are more "balanced" in terms of the carb/protein/fat ratio your looking for! Hope this helps give you a few more ideas! Any questions just let me know!

[maat]

THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH KIM!!!!!!:) your post meant so much to me, thank you thank you thank you!!!!
I was really getting confused with food.
Today was a really busy day and it will end really late :(
College is being crazy.
I couldn't eat the way I wanted because I didn't had the time to go shopping and to prepared food. I'm gonna grocery shop tomorrow and things will be better ;)
I wake up at around noon (I went to bad late yesterday )

Meals:

12:45: 1 cereal (on on on the go to a class, I know bad :(

14:00: 1 soup vegetables (2 cups)
2 regular slices of bread (sandwich type)
1 slice cheese (school's bar)

one afternoon of hell for my Organic Chemistry II Laboratory

18:30: 1 slice of whole wheat bread + 4 oz of tuna + 1 tbs ketchup (at home)

great workout with lots of energy at 19h (was the tuna a good choice for that=?)

21:00 2 cups of green beans + 5 oz of grilled chicken + 1 orange + 5 almonds

later: I don't know yet

stats of meals till now:

otal: 1197
Fat: 29 259 23%
Sat: 9 80 7%
Poly: 8 68 6%
Mono: 10 88 8%
Carbs: 133 441 39%
Fiber: 23 0 0%
Protein: 108 431 38%
Alcohol: 0 0 0%

Fiber still 0. is it bad? what are the foods with fiber?shouldn't be vegetables and fruit?

Workout today:

15 min in treadmill at 5.5 km/h


eg press 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lever leg extension 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lying leg curl 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs (I can only do 8-10)
seated hip abduction 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lever seated hip aduction 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
peck deck fly 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
triceps machine 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
machine for back 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
curl with dumbdells 1 set of 15 reps with 2 kilos dumbdells
shoulders press with dumbdells 1 set of 15 reps with 2 kilos dumbdellls

abs - 3 sets of 15 reps: regular and obliques
lombar exercises

stretch


I wasn't feeling motivated to go the gym on cardio days.I talked about it with my instructor and next mont I'll do:

1 class of body combat
2 days of weight strenght training like the one I did today
1 class of body pump

4 times a week to gym
is it good?

I'm sorry for asking some many questions but as a beginner I have many doubts.
Thank you everyone in advance ;)

kisses
andreia

PS: oh why why why did I thought that Chemistry was so fun!!!!!?!?!?!

[Ivey_Itch]

Sorry College is going crazy for you right now! i completely understand! :D The diet isn't bad considering how rushed you were. :) Just try to remember those things I shared with you on the previous response when things do get a little more settled for you. If you can, protein powder is a good investment, especially when your on the move alot. I love the Dymatize Elite brand. I order mine from this site.. here's a link to it... http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/dym/elite.html if you want to check it out.

Your fiber was 23 which is ok :) Your fruit and veggies and whole grains will give you the fiber, So fill up on green leafy veggies because they are low calorie fillers! :)

Food ratios look good, just make sure you get enough calories!

So you do work with a trainer? I would probably try to get a good 3 day a week weight training split going. Like Mondays- Chest/Shoulders/Triceps, Wednesday - Back/Biceps and Friday Legs. you could do a few ab exercises on those days or every other day. And then i would just do about 2 days of cardio.. or 3.. but for beginning, only for about 20 minutes for starters. It's more important to really build that muscle to "burn" the fat, compared to cardio. Cardio works short term, but muscle is constantly burning calories, even while you sleep! So i would try to focus more on weight training than a lot of cardio. I would also try to stick with basic exercises to begin with, in the 3 x12 routine (do 12 repetitions of each exercise 3 times) and only like 2-3 exercises per body part. The last rep should be a challenge. If it's not, it's too light. I also like free weights compared to machines, but that's a personal preference :) I would do less exercises, but more reps and set for those that you do do, and more basic exercises. Something like this for starters -

Chest/Shoulders/Triceps
DB Bench Press 3x12
DB Flyes 3x12
Military Press 3x12
Lateral Raises 3x12
Tricep Pushdowns 3x12
Tricep Kickbacks 3x12
Crunches 3x15
Bicycles 3x12

Back/Biceps
Wide Grip Pulldowns 3x12
One Arm DB Rows 3x12
Goodmorings or hyperextensions 3x12
(later relace something with deadlifts, once your alittle stronger)
DB curls 3x12
Hammer Curls 3x12
Crunches 3x15
Reverse Crunches 3x12

Legs
Squats 3x12
Walking Lunges 3x12
Lying Leg Curls 3x12
Leg Extensions 3x12
Standing Calve Press 3x20
Cable Crunches 3x12
Side Bends 3x12

Just remember, it takes time to learn and grow and NO question is a dumb question! You just have to try things out and see what works best for you! :)

[aprilai]

Hi maat!



PS: oh why why why did I thought that Chemistry was so fun!!!!!?!?!?!

haha! this is the exact thing i thought when i started chemistry my 2nd quarter in college. i found chemistry interesting and it turned out verrry time consuming!

for your diet, after you've prepared your foods ahead and don't grab things on the go, then it's fine. although i do suggest increasing your cals to at least 1600. 1400 is low.




eg press 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lever leg extension 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lying leg curl 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs (I can only do 8-10)
seated hip abduction 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
lever seated hip aduction 1 set of 15 reps 10 kgs
peck deck fly 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
triceps machine 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
machine for back 1 set of 15 reps 5 kgs
curl with dumbdells 1 set of 15 reps with 2 kilos dumbdells
shoulders press with dumbdells 1 set of 15 reps with 2 kilos dumbdellls

abs - 3 sets of 15 reps: regular and obliques
lombar exercises

the volume of your workout is a lot! also why are you going for 1 set? 15 reps is high unless you're doing it for abs...

start with the simple basic moves, and add/remove things as the weeks pass by and you feel they can assist you farther to your goals.

this is what i recommend:

M: deadlift, pullups/lat pulldown, tricep exercise like skullkrushers, (bench) dips, extensions

W: bench, post-fatigue exercise: pushups, pec flys, 1 calf exercise

F: squat, lunge, 1 bicep exercise

you can add aerobics on non-lifting days or 6hrs after lifting sessions, but do only one session the first week and add later on if you feel necessary. if you're not losing the fat you want to or time-crunch you can do cardio after weights, but make sure the lifting session is short. so like 20mins lifting, 20mins aerobics. keep sessions under 45mins.

good luck!

[Megin]

College is nuts isn't it? It is time for finals... what school do you go to? Major?

Ha, let me ust say that you totally made my day w/ your post in my journal, so THANKS!!

-wow, you really are kickin' some butt in the gym. you go girl!
The nutrition part is the hardest part for me 'cause I could lift alllll day. I love it!

I'll check up on ya tomorrow

cheers :)

[maat]

Hey everyone! thank you so much for your posts and info.
I had a hell day, classes from 9 am till 7 pm (one hour to lunch)
I'm so tired I can't even move but you all make my day!YAY!
I'm so sore from yesterday's workout and being 4 hours standing at the laboratory!
Food today was a big big NO.I ate all the wrong foods, lunch and dinner out. I did went to grocery shop after classes and bought things so that I could bring my lunch and snacks to school.
I must have eaten 2000 calories today (I don't really know the calories I'm rougly estimating)
well there's always tomorrow.
About my workout my instructor told me that I should this routine as a basic training to know the machines and exercises. Then I'll up the weight and low the reps.
I'll discuss with him what you all told me, maybe he'll do that in a few days when he change my routine. But I think that the idea was always a full workout in every session. I'm still a bit lost in the weight traning area with the machines and free weights and specially with all the men training there. But that's ok I have to stop being afraid of others, specially men with big muscles I'm a big tough girl (or maybe not :D!)
Today no exercise.
Tomorrow will be cardio day: 15 min treadmill, 10 min bike, 8 min row machine, 5 min stepper.
I have so much to study and so much to do!!!
Better start cleaning up my room so I could study a little.
Thank you all, it's so nice to have such great support
thank you thank you
kisses
andreia

[maat]

Hi everyone!
Today was a great day.
I went to the gym and did
10 min stepper
12 min on treadmill 5.5 km/h
10 min on the bike
8 min on the row machine (increase a level here)
I'm feeling sore but happy :)
As food went like this:

lunch (I woke up late):
1 cup of corn
1 can of tuna water pack


afternoon: 1 cup of skim milk + 1 cup of cereal + 2 slices of turkey ham

dinner: 0.5 cup of boiled pasta
6 oz of grilled chicken breast
2 cup of lettuce + 1 T of olive oil
0.75 cup of strawberry

I was craving something sweet so I ate a teaspoon of honey and it worked ;)

stats:

alories Eaten Today
source grams cals %total
Total: 1301
Fat: 29 257 21%
Sat: 6 54 4%
Poly: 6 54 4%
Mono: 14 125 10%
Carbs: 152 511 41%
Fiber: 24 0 0%
Protein: 121 483 39%
Alcohol: 0 0 0

not bad uh?maybe later I'll drink a cup of skim milk or eat some fruit if I'm hungry.
Tomorrow is weight day. I'll discuss with my instructor what you told me about splitting my routine :)
till later
kisses
andreia

[VanillaBean_21]

lunch (I woke up late):
1 cup of corn
1 can of tuna water pack
Brocolli would have been a better choice with this meal. Maybe you could have possibly added 1/2 cup oats?

afternoon: 1 cup of skim milk + 1 cup of cereal + 2 slices of turkey ham
What kind of cereal? You could have had yogurt with some oats mixed in. Or some cottagce cheese with almonds

dinner: 0.5 cup of boiled pasta
6 oz of grilled chicken breast
2 cup of lettuce + 1 T of olive oil
0.75 cup of strawberry
I personally would replace the pasta with a sweet potato, oats, or brown rice. Much better for you. Also, I would add more brocolli to this meal instead of the lettuce.

I was craving something sweet so I ate a teaspoon of honey and it worked ;)
Sometimes if I crave something sweet, I have natural PB. Tastes so much better and is so much better for you.
stats:

alories Eaten Today
source grams cals %total
Total: 1301
Fat: 29 257 21%
Sat: 6 54 4%
Poly: 6 54 4%
Mono: 14 125 10%
Carbs: 152 511 41%
Fiber: 24 0 0%
Protein: 121 483 39%
Alcohol: 0 0 0

You deff need more cals! 1300 is WAY too low. Aim for 1500-1800. You could use a lot more protein as well.

not bad uh?maybe later I'll drink a cup of skim milk or eat some fruit if I'm hungry.
Have 1/2 cup cottage cheese instead.
Tomorrow is weight day. I'll discuss with my instructor what you told me about splitting my routine :)
till later
kisses
andreia

Suggestions above.